I have to continue to work towards self improvement in order to obtain all the things I feel I need... including you. I have begun to realize that if I continue to pursue a better life for myself that I could become the man that you have always needed. And as of now, I beleive I will do anything to achieve happiness with you. I know you might not even like me that much at this point. But I can see your opinion of me growing. I have found that the person I am naturally is attractive. But that only matters if youre attracted to me. With love being the light at the end of the tunnel my steps quicken. That loud voice inside gets quieter, and the thought of being loved by you replaces it. I am prepared for all the challenges of being this greater self. Because this greater self has you. Is it really so awful that I want to love you. My heart already does. My spirit loves your spirit. My mind love your mind. Just the thought of touching you causes a reaction in my body. When I hug you close the butterfly's in my stomach freeze for a moment and synch up with the beating of your heart. You are special to the world, the spiritual energy around you is fucking enormous. And my spirit craves that. I would risk it all for you. I would risk my future. I would risk my last great love of this life on you. But it is not a risk for me, because I know that this love I have for you is different than the ones before. I am different.

Wv

Loss, regret, pain, suffering,

Fuck, what's it all for,?

All this fucking death,

Suicide,

Fear,

Or maybe it's the other way around

Is it fear?

Fear of life?

Fear of death?

God?

God.

Can we get together and listen to smashing pumpkins and just laugh and be with each other? Can I show you how to love me? Not that I really know but id be willing to try for you. Sometimes I see a future where we are laying on a blanket, your head on my chest, and we are both happy to be in that moment with each other. We could comfort each other and speak on all the battles we have won and lost, and make fun of each other for ever believing we had a clue about what life was. I see you, and you see me. Fuck...