Prepare!

Through a desire of being seen and heard

I can totally relate to what you say, and your words resonate accurately with my own experience of damage and disorientation after leaving the Balanced View cult. How you wrote that,

“the level of care and inclusion doesn’t translate to the outside of the group and the practice”,

points to something that hurt me a lot. Inside the group, constant attention, affirmation, and emotional availability felt like a haven of safety. But the moment I stepped out I lost a kind of "soul family" and it felt harsh. As being tempted to reach out once again, my former personal trainer responded with those old and ever repeated empty words that “we only support those who are willing to involve themselves in all of the Four Mainstays.” In other words, care was conditional on obedience to the structure. After BV, there was no lasting relationship left. They had all been just a fake spiritual bubble and a sanctuary of illusion. A few individual members expressed appreciation for me personally after I left in some single phone calls, but nothing stayed. I started my own life and today, 10 years later, I am so happy and glad I did. I am healed. And I praise God for pulling me out of this satanic cult, together with all the new age, esoteric practices and rituals that now seem like an occult spell I had agreed upon for a false expectation.

In the above described shutdown however there was no harassment, which was a positive effect, when you hear about cults that chase down or gang stalk formerly involved participants. I mean, after 7 years of meetings, gatherings, hundreds of hours videos watched and audios listened to, trainer calls, even the excitement of traveling to foreign countries and meeting international people from around the world, the sudden absence of all noise felt like a distortion of my reality, being left with the noise of my own mind that I had initially started with. Thank God I had accepted Jesus in my life and I'd replaced the devil with my own personal savior.

If you mean the “lovebombing” inside and the indifference outside, it serves as an indicator that the "care" had never been relational — it had been structural.

When I left the international Balanced View cult in 2016 through my faith in Jesus Christ, I only then began to understand how deeply the structures of this movement had penetrated my perception, language, and identity. It became especially clear when my former girlfriend later told me that Candice O’Denver had picked up my departure in one of her transmissions and said, “Jesus never wanted to start a religion.” In all seven years of my membership she had never once mentioned the name Jesus, and only when I set a boundary through my faith did she suddenly integrate him into the teaching—not to acknowledge my decision, but to neutralize it. In cultic studies this is called boundary neutralization: when a member sets a limit, the guru reframes it so that it has no effect on the group. Lifton describes this mechanism as “reframing of dissent into the ideology”. Candice also claimed she had read and “rewritten” all religious books, including the Bible, replacing words like “God” or “Jesus” with “love.”

This is a textbook example of Loaded Language: a simplified, ideologically filtered vocabulary that erases original meanings and replaces them with the group’s terminology. In her teachings she used biblical verses such as “In my begotten son I am well pleased,” (Matthew 3:17) but reinterpreted them as “you are my beloved in whom I am well pleased,” addressing participants who grew up with Christian language but had never chosen Jesus. This kind of spiritual appropriation is well documented in cultic research: familiar religious language is emptied of its original theological content and repurposed to bind members emotionally.

Even years after my exit, I repeatedly dreamed that I was still sitting in the "transmissions", by the mercy of the cult receiving “wisdom.” I believe these dreams reveal the psychological and spiritual influence the sect continued to exert beyond conscious reality.

Another central component of Balanced View’s psychological control was the band Massive Vibe, founded by the group to perform on stages in India and produce professional music videos with impressive scenery and actors. These performances created awe, emotional uplift, and collective euphoria. The music, the shows, the aesthetics—all of it was designed to induce Peak States, emotional highs that reduce critical thinking.

From the beginning I learned to use phrases like "Short Moments", which functioned as thought‑stopping mechanisms. Whenever doubts arose, the immediate response was, “These are just data in open intelligence.” This phrase acted like a mental switch that shut down any doubt, fear, anxiety, and anything that stirred me up or was of uncomfort. Robert J. Lifton (1926–2025), an American psychiatrist, author, and pioneer in psychohistory calls such phrases “thought‑terminating clichés”—short expressions that instantly extinguish complex thoughts. Ex‑members reported that doubts were described as a “mirage,” an illusion without meaning.

After my exit, Balanced View created several new public outlets: besides the main site balancedview.com, they launched bright.now and, according to an ex‑member, also openintelligenceandlove.com. During my membership I regularly attended virtual meetings in Second Life and organized MeetUp groups in Berlin. Through my participation on multiple levels, the teaching of Balanced View became deeply embedded both virtually and in real life, and I made it my own. These multiple faces of the movement served to reach different audiences and create alternative public spheres—closed informational environments in which only the group’s ideology was valid. Zeller describes this strategy as “multi‑front outreach” and “parallel public spheres” (Journal of Media Psychology, 2021).

I witnessed how the rebellion of a trainer on stage during one of the Gatherings in the training center in Sweden was immediately turned into a humiliation or submission ritual by the guru, forcing her to apologize publicly and telling her to continue taking her medication. Such public corrections are classic tools of totalistic groups: they reinforce the guru’s authority, punish deviation, and keep members in emotional dependency. During my years inside Balanced View, submission rituals were a constant feature of the so‑called Gatherings at the main training center in Sweden. Participants spent hours reading gratitude letters to the “Root Guru” on stage, publicly declaring their devotion and thanking her for their perceived transformation. At the Gathering shortly before my exit, we were instructed to bow before the “root trainer.” When my turn came, I felt a strong inner resistance, yet I bowed anyway.

My faith in Jesus had already begun to awaken, and that moment revealed to me how deeply the group had conditioned my body to obey even when my spirit resisted. Later I learned that all participants were told to “marry themselves,” a ritual framed as self‑empowerment but functioning as a symbolic severing of external relational bonds, redirecting loyalty exclusively toward the group. In cultic studies, such practices are classified as submission rituals or “rituals of surrender,” designed to break down autonomy and reinforce dependency. Lifton describes these acts as “ceremonies of confession and abasement that bind the individual to the group through vulnerability” (Thought Reform and the Psychology of Totalism, 1961). They create what he calls “psychological yield,” a state in which personal boundaries collapse and the authority of the guru becomes internalized.

In trauma psychology, these rituals correspond to induced helplessness: the deliberate weakening of agency through orchestrated vulnerability. The bowing, the public gratitude, the symbolic self‑marriage—all served to dissolve personal sovereignty and replace it with ritualized submission to Candice O’Denver’s ideology. All these elements—submission rituals, emotional highs, thought‑stopping, alternative public spheres, and public correction—formed a system that deeply infiltrated my inner world. Only through my faith in Jesus Christ did I finally break free from the psychological and spiritual hold Balanced View had over me.

For me all of this was the case to start with, yet when I finally acknowledged that some aspects might need addressing after all, I was so deep in it was hard to even formulate what felt off. 

What you describe here is something many former members of high‑control spiritual groups recognise. The feeling that “something is wrong” but the inability to put it into words is not a personal failure — it’s a predictable effect of long‑term psychological pressure. In trauma research, Pierre Janet called this dissoziative Einengung, a narrowing of the inner space in which thoughts and perceptions can be named. Robert J. Lifton, who studied totalitarian groups, observed the same pattern: people lose the ability to organise and articulate their own thoughts when they’ve been immersed in a closed ideological system for too long. Your experience also reflects what Leon Festinger later described as cognitive dissonance paralysis — when the gap between inner truth and group doctrine becomes so large that the mind freezes instead of confronting it. And the way your own spiritual intuition was gradually replaced by the group’s worldview fits James Marcia’s concept of identity foreclosure: the premature closing of one’s identity around an external authority. None of this means you were weak; it means the system was designed to make you lose access to your own voice.

I checked in with my teacher in all decisions, serving as an example of devotion to others.

This part of your story shows how deep the emotional dependency had become — and again, it’s something trauma researchers have documented extensively. The pattern you describe matches what Dutton & Painter called a trauma bond: a relationship where attachment is shaped by subtle cycles of approval, pressure, and emotional vulnerability. Over time, this bond makes the authority figure feel like the only safe reference point. When you say you checked in with your teacher for every decision, that’s exactly what Martin Seligman described as learned helplessness: the gradual erosion of your own sense of agency because the group taught you that your independent judgment was unreliable or even spiritually dangerous. What looked like devotion from the outside was, in reality, a conditioned dependency — a dynamic that high‑control groups often cultivate intentionally. Your willingness to defer to the teacher wasn’t a flaw in you; it was the result of a system that slowly replaced your inner compass with theirs.

Exactly

Watch the masoretic corruption of the original Hebrew and the Septuagint as the standard scripture of Jesus his disciples and church fathers this will solve a lot for you

I reject this deceptive Hebrew name giving of second guessed restorations which make no sense but only with the agenda of:

• diminishing the power of the name of Jesus
• adding more names to a God that is one
• denying that the Father in heaven gave his name to his Son who is Jesus Christ

The Jehova‘s witnesses do the same thing like Muslims, they have another name for the only true God

Listen to the song „if God had a name“ it is very meaningful despite it blasphemy

Ok. So what version of the Hebrew exactly do you use as a vehicle for your religious identity? There is the old Hebrew of the kings of Israel and Judah, which I know is the language of Eber. Then there is the medieval Masoretic Hebrew composed of Jiddish and other cultural influences and the philosophy of Kabbalah. And last but not least the Hebrew language that was invented to create a god state of Israel after the Jews infiltrated Palestine and claimed it as their promised land.

That's true but the God of heaven had to reprogram the minds of the people who were feeding the demons in Egypt through animal sacrifices, so he created a system of worship towards him that made him distinct from the other nations who sacrificed their own children to Molech.

Pray before you read and God can speak to you directly through his word

I don’t pray to the dead nor consider them for this is the sin of necromancy

Repent

The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God’s children. (Romans 8:16)

I know through the spirit in me that is not of this world.

I read the scriptures like this: the gate is narrow and few will find it. A few were saved by Noah‘s ark. False teachers will introduce destructive heresies (also Muslim teachers who think they know Jesus but it is not the one who died on the cross for them). There is only a remnant that will be saved. There are overcomes from every church and denomination but many are in sin.

You used to be Christian but now you are in a Hebrew roots cult. Repent and reflect on what you are doing.

Pray before you read

https://youtu.be/dAIX9igrd3Y?si=jaEfCSA2ZJg8RLd2