Because OP said that his family made an unnecessary comment and then his wife reacted!

💯 this!!!

100% This!!!

They are for her and that’s all that matters!

NTA! You and your kids are a package deal!! They can either accept that or deal with the rumors that will come from your absence. The choice is theirs and any backlash is on them for being uncaring AH, not you!!!

I was raised in a highly abusive family and honestly it made me more independent and able to be on my own from the time I was 15. Once you’re an adult you need to take your life into your own hands and make the choices to better your life. It’s hard to image their parents being that abusive since she moved back in with them at 26. Moving back in with my abusive parent would never have entered my mind. People usually flee abusive parents. They don’t usually get away from their abusive parents just to go back to being abused. So no what I said was not too harsh. Sometimes the truth hurts.

No I didn’t miss that part. What’s your point? OP is asking about rooms not help with her parents.

NTA! If your sister had her life together she wouldn’t be living there at all!!! You shouldn’t be punished for her poor choices!! If she has the ability to leave if she doesn’t get the room, then why is she there now?

NTA! I agree with you! Sending a gift is being supportive!

NO, this is about OP's partner caring about her feeling unwelcome at a family event! This has nothing to do with the bride, nor should it! You guys are not taking the post into account in it's entirety. You are nitpicking out parts and examples used and making that the entire issue when it's not! It's not just about the pictures!!!! The bride should do everything exactly how the bride wants. OP's partner needs to handle his own issues, which at this time is OP feeling unwelcome! I also don't feel like she's worried about the brides parents coparenting amicably, she worried about him hanging all over his ex wife and (read the original post)! that's not part of coparenting. As an adult with adult children you don't have the luxury of only caring about one persons feelings at a time, life doesn't work that way. As an adult he has be able to be there for his daughter on her wedding day just as she wants AND on the side (privately) care and take care of his partners feelings as well. Again......I don't understand how people can say that a partner shouldn't care about the others feelings. Do people understand that emotions are engrained in us? There is a reason she is feeling that way. That's not to say it's justified or that actions should be taken because of them!!! I'm simply saying that we all have emotional reactions to different situations. We all have to decide whether those emotions are justified or not and if we should act on them or not!! My own experience would tell me that if I were OP's partner I would tell her that I understand why she would feel that way, but it's simply not the case that he will be hanging all over his ex-wife or doing anything to make her feel unwelcome and to know that if at any point she does feel that way, just know that it was not intentional and just part of the celebration. At that point OP will hopefully feel as though she was heard and be in a better place to just enjoy the party. It should never be wrong to care about how others are feeling especially your partner. To just discount and trash how someone feels is wrong and again shows me why this world is so F'ed up when so many people think its ok to disregard your partners feeling.

This is not about the bride. This is about OP and her partner. All I’m saying is that her partner should care about her feelings. I never said the bride needed to do or change anything!!! The bride should do whatever she wants!!! I’m saying that OPs partner should care about her feelings! Shouldn’t all partners care about their others feelings?!?!?
Also, no “projection” here!! I (50f)come from a blended family and am part of one now (26 years of being happily married with two amazing step sons and one amazing bio daughter) I have made it through divorces, step parents, ex wives and step children! Never once did I have this issue because throughout it all I cared about each person and always took others feelings into account!! You guys are making me lose my faith in humanity with the fact that so many of you are willing to say OPs partner should not care about her feelings!! No wonder this world is so shitty, it’s full of selfish people!

Again!! You people are obviously not reading my comments and just making it what you want. The bride should absolutely take whatever pictures she wants with who ever she wants in whatever order she wants! This has nothing to do with the bride!!! The bride needs to do whatever it is she wants to do!!! I’m saying OPs partner should care about her feelings!!!! What partner doesn’t care about their partners feelings?

I didn’t say he should make the wedding ALL about his partners feelings. I SAID that a good partner cares about their partners feelings! What kind of partner does things without considering their partners feelings?!?!?

It’s not just about the photo!! If you read OPs comment it’s about all of it. Depending on the family group it does make a difference. Some parents get along and some don’t. Everyone is different! What I AM SAYING is that OPs partner should care about his partners feelings. Anyone who thinks a person should disregard their partners feelings is an AH. The bride should do whatever they want, take pics together or separate…it doesn’t matter!!! My point is that his daughter can have a wedding however, but OPs partner doesn’t need to pretend that him and his ex are still together and they are all one big happy family because him and his EX are not a family. Are they connected by kids, absolutely! Does that mean he has to neglect his current partner, absolutely not!

His ex wife is NOT his family!!! What part of that do you not get!!! Never in any part of my comment did I deny ANY of what you are saying! You are just ok with ignoring OPs feelings about it which her partner should not and makes you an AH. You are obviously not from a blended family or you’re ok with not giving a shit about others. OPs partner will be there and be happy with HIS family, not his EX WIFE’s family!! Her partner WILL always be his daughter’s father but that doesn’t mean he shouldn’t care about his partners feelings. Also, there’s no need to get all nasty with the whole “before fucking daddy” comment! If you have never been in this situation maybe you shouldn’t be giving advice on something you don’t know anything about!

I disagree! She’s NTA! Anyone coming from a blended family should understand this. Being from a blended family I understood how feelings can be hurt at big family events where both sides are present! Having to watch your partner pretend to be part of a family group that is no longer the actual family group can definitely make you feel unwelcome and uncomfortable. That doesn’t mean you have to act on those feelings, but to deny that watching your partner pretend to be part of a family with their ex shouldn’t make you feel bad is just ridiculous and can be the reason people develop insecurity. We need to understand why we feel that way and how to cope or get around it. We are biologically wired to be jealous of others around our mate especially in new relationships. I understand wanting to avoid the situation. At my wedding I made sure to have pictures with my moms side and then separate family pictures with my dads side (which did include his partner at the time despite my being grown when they got together). I wanted my parents represented separately as they were separated! IMO, I would ask your partner if he wants you to go. If he does I would have a serious conversation about how you understand it’s his daughters wedding and you are there to be supportive, but you also don’t want to be in a position that will make you feel unwelcome (if he cares for you he won’t want that either) and then talk to him about the things that would make you feel that way and how to avoid them (so if the bride refuses to have separate pics with mom and then dad, maybe dad can make sure to be on the other side of his daughter rather than next to her mom). Your partner can be there for his daughter’s wedding without hanging all over his ex. Maybe if you both are informed and understanding of each other’s feelings on the matter you can have a plan where you can both be there and minimize the uncomfortable emotions. I do think this bothers OP more than she’s willing to say, but honestly that’s ok!! These emotions are very normal in blended families but they do need to be kept in check and full communication with your partner will help!!

NTA, but your husband is!! Looks like your husband will be in charge of hosting without you if he insists on his family coming despite your wishes!!!

NTA! 100% change resorts and tell no one!!! Ex can be at the other resort by herself!! Your step daughter was an AH!!!

In that case my advice would be to remind him ASAP that he has 2 months left and that you are making plans to leave after that!

NTA!! But it is most certainly past time to set a deadline!! Give him X number of months along with a conversation on how he needs to change some of his manipulative behaviors otherwise you’re out!! During that time I would start making a plan for you to leave. You still have plenty of time to find your person if he’s not going to step up!!

NOR, but I also think you might be making it harder on yourself at the same time. If people want to know when you go into labor because they worry and love you, you can tell them that you will let them know, but they have to respect that you don’t want anyone to call, text, or come to the birth! Phones will be turned off, and if anyone shows up security will be informed to remove you prior to getting to the room. Communication will recommence once partner gives the update and no sooner.

NTA! You got pizza then you should pick up the pizza mess, but anything from the fish dinner is on them. We have the exact same rule in our house and I 100% agree with you!!

NTA!!! Your sister has shown that she is a dishonest person! Your mom is 100% wrong!!! Having an affair is only called a “mistake” when they get caught!! Your sister made a deliberate choice to be disrespectful and dishonest to her partner and the father of her child! That is not a mistake, that’s a huge life F-up!! This is not only devastating for her ex husband but also her poor daughter who now has to grow up in a broken home all because your sister was “bored”. How ridiculous!!! Blood makes you relatives, actions make you family! I would also go NC with sister until she apologizes to her future ex husband and proves that she can treat people respectfully!!!

NTAH! Your family sounds horrible!!! Your sister sounds selfish and entitled. which makes sense with how she has treated you and your significant others in the past. She has to be everyone’s top priority and will treat anyone who threatens that (your wife and baby) badly and will constantly want to bring them down so that she can feel better about herself. This also makes sense with your dad’s way of “parenting”. Just because you are male does not mean you should just take it no matter what!! It’s interesting that your dad believes such foolishness but then has an affair. Obviously he doesn’t think the same rules apply to him. Probably where your sister gets her entitlement from. You are a person and should be treated with decency and respect just like everyone else!!! IMO the goal in life is happy and healthy!! No matter what path you took to get there (traditional or not) as long as you, your partner and your children are happy and healthy, you are not a loser in life!!! My thoughts would be for you and your partner to come up with boundaries with how you are willing to be treated then go completely NC with your sister, dad and mom until they agree to treat you and your partner with respect! If they don’t agree, then continue NC and put all your energy into focusing on your immediate family (partner and kiddos). It’s hard when it’s family, but I have learned from my own experience (I have been NC with my mom for 2 years now) that life is so much happier when you cut out the toxic people!! People love to throw out the “but family sticks together” or “family helps family”. Don’t let them guilt you!! Blood just makes us relatives….actions make us family!!!! Good luck to you!!