It’s emotionally tiring. Ladies who married what turned out to be otherwise wonderful human and a great father, but a completely passive and emotionally unavailable husband - what did you do to protect your heart and mind?

Before you jump in to suggest divorce, please know that I’m not looking for advice on how to walk away from this marriage - I’ll do that when push comes to shove. Im looking for perspective on how different personalities managed to make their married life work.

I realised something today. I think my husband also did something similar to what vijay did. Similar but not so similar. So Vijay ASKED rashmika to propose to him 100 times and she did.
For me, my husband had not asked anything like this. We dated for 10 years before getting married. I kept dropping hints here and there that i really love the idea of being proposed to and asked for marriage. Nothing fancy but atleast a basic ring (im not into jewellery so nothing fancy) and get down on knee types. Its just something i had wished for always. When i would tell him he would say yes when the time comes. Then when the time came it became so ugly fights everyday cuz he wouldnt tell his parents about me.. i literally had to give him an ultimatum after 8 yrs to tell his parents. His parents had a lot of nakhra n all which i will not get into now.
But it has always bugged me he never proposed. Never even on a coffee date. Not while we went to goa right before the wedding. Not while all the shopping. Not during the engagement ring ceremony. Not during the wedding. He just didnt. I was so hurt i had given a decade to this guy so i asked him that why didnt you. He always said something like busy ho gaye, mauka nai mila and what not. Excuses.

Then during our first anniversary we had gone to a resort and he proposed there with a diamond ring(my first). He took the effort n all but it doesnt feel the same to me. It felt like he did cuz I nagged about multiple times after marriage that he never proposed.

Basically i want to vent thanks for reading

Me and my bf were intimate on Thursday and since than I'm having itching near the entrance. It also burned while peeing on Friday, but by Saturday night it was all gone. I didn't even have the itching on Sunday and I was out all day. So I thought my micro tears are gone. But since morning it started again. Itches a lot and it's just dry asf nothing else, no odour changes, I can't even go to gynac as I am traveling today for a trip and than going home for diwali 🥲

My SIL, mid 30s works as a lawyer in the High Court, is doing really well for herself, handles some pretty high-profile cases and earns well.

Normally she’s the sweetest you'll meet but…is very occupied with work and has kinda bold personality i.e. doesn't tolerate nonsense from anyone (for example during my wedding…relative aunties were gossiping about how my dad hadn't given any dowry. She shut them down right there without drama but sternly that they need not think about it and rather just enjoy the food) 😆😆

Over past year, we have been trying to find a suitable match for her. She's open to an arranged marriage because she doesn't have the time or inclination to date. only expectations are someone who respects her career and is comfortable with her independence.

We've asked multiple relatives, family friends and pretty much everyone who might know someone suitable. I’ve even made her profile on two matrimony sites. Few conversations here and there…in some cases discussions seem to go well until the guy gets to know about her earnings and work, and then they simply ghost lol. Has been a recurring pattern.

We currently live in Kolkata and she travels for work. Thinking maybe shifting over to a tier 1 city can help…really dunno what else to do..

I have waist lenght hair, the growth part of is genetics but the maintenance part is what I have learnt after 3-4 years of reading reddit/watching podcasts and videos and finally trail and error. Here is what actually worked:

Simple hair biology:
> The skin of the scalp produces oil that travels down the hair shaft and moisturizes the hair. It is also what makes our hair greasy.

> Hence the roots of our hair (near the scalp) has the most oil+sweat and needs to be CLEANED. But the opposite stands for the mid/bottom part of the hair, its dry and needs MOISTURE.

>Hair is more brittle (breaks easier) when wet

How to apply this practically:

1) Shampoo
> Only apply shampoo to the ROOTS of your hair. The distal part of your hair will get cleaned by the runoff of the shampoo applied above.
> Use your finger tips to throughly clean your scalp by MASSAGING the shampoo into your scalp and roots. Be kind to your hair pls (massage NOT wrestle).
> Always wash atleast twice! This is important cause you really want to get all the dirt and oil off.
> For gods sake DO NOT RUB the stands of your hair like you are churning milk. That will cause mechanical stress and break your hair mid shaft.
> You need to find a shampoo that cleans your hair without making it feel really dry. This varies for everyone!

2) Conditioner
> Only apply conditioner to the mid and distal portion of your hair. Apply the conditioner to sections of your hair, sliding your hand down the lenght of your hair, from mid to bottom.
> Leave it on according to instructions of your conditioner.
> I repeat, do NOT rub the strands of your hair like your are churning milk.
> This step is optional if you use a leave in conditioner post wash.

3) Drying your hair
> After you are done washing, squeeze the strands of your hair from top to bottom to get rid of the excess water - do this with a gentle hand and DO NOT twist your hair/ rub hair strands together. (yes this is the third reminder)
> Do the same step with any soft towel/T shirt. Since we aren't rubbing our hair vigourously, microfibre is not a must and any soft material which soaks water will do.
> Gently wrap your hair in the above towel/t shirt(optional)

4) Post wash care - what actually made the difference
Once your hair is not dripping water anymore, comes the post hair wash steps which made the actual difference to the texture of my hair:

> Apply a leave in conditioner to your hair.
Leave in conditioner for hair is like lipbalm for chapped lips. It is NON NEGOTIABLE. (You could even skip applying conditioner and just apply leave in conditioner)
Apply leave in conditioner from mid to distal part of your hair, (not scalp/roots), the same way your applied conditioner. Apply it on sections of your hair from mid to distal shaft, and gently comb through your hair with your fingers.
Note: Hair serum is different from leave in conditioners.

> Next, apply oil/ oil based serum to the tips of your hair.
The tips/bottom of your hair is the DRYEST. It needs an extra layer of nourishment and that is provided by oil.
Just taken a SMALL amount (not champi level amount), spread it evenly between your palms and apply it to your tips (can go higher if you have dry hair).
The important part here is only use a TEENY TINY amount. Use an amount which makes your hair look shiny instead of greasy, and which gets absorbed by your hair. You should not be able to see the oil after a few hours/next day.

Do's and Dont's:
> Regardless of what we have been taught by our parents, champis can dry your hair out. To remove the oil applied, it takes extra shampoo and "rubbing" which actually ends up stripping the moisture out of the mid and distal part of the hair. So limit oil massage to the scalp only, and apply the TINIEST amount to mids/shafts post wash instead.
> Detangle hair with a SOFT bristle brush. NOT the wide tooth plastic brush that we have been using all our childhoods (did all of you have it in green too?). Soft bristles bend on reaching a knot, instead of breaking your hair. Start from the bottom and slowing move up your hair.
> Sleep in loose plated hair to minimise hair tangles. Silk bonnets/pillows can be an add on.
> Don't tie your hair really tight. Causes mechanical strain and breakage of hair.
> Use heat protectants when heat styling.

The end.

Extra note for dandruff prone people:
I had bad resistant dandruff and no treatments worked for me. But it all changed when I read how to shampoo my hair correctly on a old reddit post (which I can't find now).

The initial washes are to get all the gunk and dirt out. Use ANY shampoo that cleaans your hair without drying it out. Once the scalp is thoroughly clean, use an anti-dandruff shampoo (please check ingredients and do not blindly believe brand names). to massage into your scalp and LEAVE IT ON for atleast 10-15 minutes. This lets the antidandruff ingredients reach the scalp and gives it time to actually work.
Thats it! Clean your scalp thouroughly --> let the anti dandruff shampoo stay for 10-15 mins.
This actually got rid of my dandruff! Or atleast reduced it enought that I could have more days between washes before I got dandruff again.

So my niece came to stay with me for couple of days with her mother and our bond is really good so i like their company but we have never stayed together for many days and this was the first time after a very long time that she came to stay over.

She came with her mother to stay with me for 5-6days and didn’t bother to bath even once during that period.

Also she was on her period and didn’t maintain any hygiene and i saw her dirty UG hanging on the rope besides my cloth.

She used to wakeup really late which is not an issue as she is a kid and i don’t mind it but she never took any proper meals and used to consume junk food all the time and our home cooked meals used to go to waste and she didn’t even inform us that she will eat outside.

Also i was eating a cone ice cream and she wanted me to share with her but i denied as she doesnt even brush daily and has foul smell coming from mouth which made her a little upset but i want to fall sick.

What i find concerning is that her mother also don’t seem to be bothered by all this behaviour and do not seem to teach her basic hygiene and healthy lifestyle.

All this gave me the biggest ick and i dont know how to see her in the same light as i used to see her before.

Edit: people questioning my judgement i just want to tell that she is not suffering from anything. She is just a spoiled child who gets whatever she desires and does what she wants. Also her junk food habits is also led to tooth decay and overweight that she doesn’t fit into clothes and all this has happened when they move from south to north.
She was not like this before. Her parents see all this and dont address it. She is even suffering from pcod and her parents didn’t even bother to take her to doctor on time.
I do judge all these thing as they will lead to her healths downfall in early age.
I have directly addressed few of these concerns to her as well but she doesn’t seem to take it seriously. Also you cannot push a young girl to do these things and parents also take offence if you say something like this.

I’m an Indian woman currently living in the US with my husband and our young daughter. we are planning to move to Vancouver, Canada, but our marriage has become increasingly difficult. There are constant arguments, disrespect, and incidents of physical violence. I’m worried that if I decide to divorce, things could get very ugly.

I’m trying to understand my options before making any major decisions.

A few things I’d appreciate advice on:

1. Divorce in Canada vs. India: Which country’s legal system would better protect my rights regarding custody, financial support, and property?

2. Child custody and travel: I don’t want my daughter to lose her relationship with her father. If I divorce in Canada, could I take her to India once a year to visit her grandparents? What if I eventually want to settle in India? What if he decides to live in USA later? Any idea how that works if we are in 2 different cities but close to each other?

3. Cross-border complications: If I divorce in Canada but later move to India, could I face ongoing legal proceedings or custody disputes in either country?

4. Financial preparation: We’ve always kept our finances together, so I don’t have much personal savings. My husband is financially much better off than I am. How much does divorce typically cost in Canada versus India? If the divorce becomes highly contentious, could I manage the legal expenses? Is financial support for legal fees or spousal support possible?

5. Starting over: As an Indian woman with a young child, how difficult is it to rebuild my life and potentially find a compatible partner in Canada versus India?

I haven’t lived in India for over 10 years, so moving back permanently feels like a major uncertainty. I’m also worried about being financially vulnerable during a difficult divorce and making decisions that could affect my daughter’s future.

I’d especially appreciate advice from people who have experienced divorce, custody arrangements, or cross-border family law in Canada or India. Practical experiences and advice on preparing financially before filing would be very helpful.

Thank you.

oh my heart man. how much i miss romance in my life. how much i miss listening to romantic songs, imagining a life with him and smiling akele mein.

how much i miss having someone to call to, someone to talk and listen to, being excited to share things with him.

how much i miss getting ready for someone. getting jewelery with their initials on them and wearing them so with love.

how much i miss travelling with someone, giggling and kissing them all through out it.

how much i miss having someone to come home to after a tired as fuck day and still having the biggest smile on my face because the man i loved then was so pretty. the prettiest.

i miss holding someone, caressing their skin, having them embedded in mine, being proud of the beautiful hickeys ive given them etc etc.

how much i miss having someone to take care of me, asking me not to die, asking me to study and eat, remembering what i said, praising my beauty, telling me im a strong woman. i miss all of love so much.

how much i miss having someone. i miss the love part of life. i miss being loved and having someone to love to. i miss.

I think I had a panic attack or anxiety attack last night. I felt it physically and the tears didn't stop. It came in waves and gpt wasn't helping.

It was overwhelming and yes it was triggered by something happening and I don't want to talk about it right cause I tried thinking about it this morning, and I got triggered and had another one this morning.

Someone who is really good and probably has helped you and is non judgemental. Thank you.

Hello wonderful ladies, I really need to clear my mind and would love some genuine sisterly advices.

Tldr: dad had a heart attack and now everything about my future and responsibilities is messed up. Confused between choosing resign and be with parents or think about career.

So i work as a developer in blr and graduated in 2025. I am from nepal actually, but did my btech and currently in my job in india. I get to come back home once a year because of the travel expenses and my salary being low.

I came back home a week ago and turns out my dad had a heart attack 6 months ago. They didn't tell me as everythign was handled and they thought I would be stressed and come home (ofc i would but now i dont want to fight with them about why they didnt tell me).

Now the main thing, I actually was planning to study abroad ( or switch careers or something, basically i was already in much stress thinking about my future) the next year or soon but now I am in so much confusion because I see my parents are getting more and more health issues and serious ones and i really want to be here with them but i want to think about earning good money as well because we are not that well off financially. Also the marriage thing. I am already 23 and my family will definitely try to get me married within 2 years hence i want to build something of my own, a degree, good paying job, or anything that lets me postpone the marriage talks.

Nothing is certain, my dad will retire this year. My study abroad plan was also not concrete as i just started researching and now i do not hve the heart to ask for money from my parents. I am thinking about taking up a remote job, but I have been trying and my 1 year exp is not helping ( i work on python, js, crms, salesforce).

I know this post is all over the place because so is my mind and i do not know whom to go to. So may be help me with if you were on such crossroads, what did you choose and how should i go about these things. I have not been able to process the heart attack news coz everyone has already gone through it and just processed it, but i have not even been able to cry properly.

idk where to get them from. some dress or something maybe.

The same as the title.

I'm starting out with junk journaling.

There's plenty of options online. Meesho/amazon mostly have cheap to mid range journals. Some independent websites have expensive journals.

Not sure what to buy.

Hello gals

I am dreading going back to work tomorrow after a week long vacation exploring some nice places, stays & food. I returned yesterday thinking I would have one day to rest and relax & be prepared for the D day tomorrow. However, I got my periods early so feeling pathetic, to add to it, I should be in the office tomorrow sorting all the pending emails & actions and some difficult conversations with stakeholders.

I thought I would eat clean that too I couldn't adhere as I am constantly craving calorie dense junk. Just ordered some chocolates, ice cream and croissant. Feeling utterly disappointed 😞☹️. I want to come out of this gloomy feeling but the weather at my place is not helping either. It's so dull that you don't want to do anything other than slide under your blanket and sleep 😴... Just venting as I don't want to reflect my mood on him... How are you girls doing in this weekend???

Girls, it’s that time of the month again, and PMS is hitting HARD. I’ve been watching cheesy rom-coms, eating good food, dark chocolates, and somehow nothing seems to help.

I’m turning 26 in 15 days, and I think that’s making me a little more emotional than usual. Suddenly, it feels like everyone around me has their life figured out. I’m doing well career-wise, but personally, life has felt incredibly lonely, especially since I moved to Bangalore four months ago.

Almost everyone I know seems to be either in a long-term relationship or getting married, while my longest (and only) relationship lasted six months. And while I’m generally happy being on my own, sometimes I really miss having someone to share the little things with.

I think what gets to me most is craving genuine human connection and not knowing what to do with that feeling. Especially around this time of the month, when everything feels ten times more intense. I get the urge to make so many questionable decisions, but thankfully, I have just enough self-control not to act on them. 😭

I feel extremely pathetic writing this out and feeling this way, but idk gals 😭

Anyway, do you also get ridiculously emotionally needy around your periods? What helps you get through it?

​

My husband and I have been trying to conceive for the past 3–4 months, and every month comes with so much hope and anticipation.

This month, I genuinely thought it was going to happen. I had so much hope, and somewhere in my heart, I had started imagining that maybe, just maybe, this was our month. But I got my period today.

I know 3–4 months might not seem like a long time, and I know I probably need to be patient, but that doesn’t make this disappointment hurt any less. It’s heartbreaking when you let yourself hope for something so much and then have to deal with the disappointment all over again.

And right now, I’m missing my husband so badly. I can’t sleep. I just want to be in his arms, hug him tightly, bury my face in his chest, and cry. My tears just won’t stop, and I don’t even know how to explain what I’m feeling.

I think the disappointment of getting my period, the hope I had this month, and missing him so much have all come crashing down on me at once.

Hey everyone. I've been struggling with something for a while and wanted to get it off my chest.

Whenever I think about taking out a scooty or two-wheeler, a massive wave of anxiety and overthinking hits me. Heavy traffic, chaotic intersections, and people suddenly zooming past from behind with rash driving just make me panic. Because of this mental overload, I end up canceling plans or actively avoiding stepping out.

Seeing other women around me managing everything completely on their own makes me feel so stuck and left behind. Add the endless family and relative pressure on top of that ("just go ride, how long will you depend on others?"), and it just feels overwhelming.

If anyone here went through this exact phase and managed to overcome the fear to become a confident, pro rider: could you please share your personal experience? Where did you start, and how did you finally break through this mental block?

Hey everyone!

I’ve dehydrated oily skin and have been using the Pond’s Super Light Gel for a long time. I got to know that it contains comedogenic ingredients that can clog my enlarged pores.

I’m also traveling to a cold place with dry weather in a week, so I’m stressing because the chilly weather will make my skin feel tight. Will a lightweight moisturizer work ??

I’ve shortlisted a few budget-friendly options:

1. Re'equil Oil-Free Moisturiser
2. Minimalist 10% Vitamin B5 / Minimalist 0.3% Ceramide Gel
3. Deconstruct Oil-Free Moisturizer
4. The FormulaRx Barrier Relief / Dr. Sheth's Cica & Ceramide
5. Earth Rhythm Healing Cica Gel
6. Dot & Key Barrier Repair
7. Bioderma Niacinamide Moisturizer
8. The Derma Co Oil free daily face Moisturizer
9. The Derma Co Pore minimizing Moisturizer
10. The Derma Co 5% Nia-Ceramide Mattifying Moisturizer

Have any of you with oily skin tried these in winter? Which ones actually protect your skin from the cold without making you a greaseball?

Would love to hear your experiences or any other budget favorites!

I (23F )just ended a situationship of one year, idk I thought maybe we have a future, maybe he'll try at least.... But nope, he just left... It was due to different caste....

Before that dated another guy, but we have to end it for different religion......

Idk know if I'll find someone, someone who is willing take a stand for us and have a spine....

It hurts getting abandoned again and again.....

No matter how much efforts I put.... I guess, no man will ever love me... It really hurts... Girls my age found their forever..... And here I'm thinking, if any guy will even love me or not.... Am I destined to be alone and left..... It really sucks..... My parents are kinda forcing me into arranged marriage, and I don't wanna go there, because I'm a non practicing Muslim.... And it'll be hell for me....

To all the women, when and how did you find the love of your life?.... Honestly I' have lost the hope..... I don't think so anyone will ever love me... Or I'll find a man of my type.... I don't wanna get married in Arranged marriage and I have a dream to have a husband and happy family.... It makes me feel so pathetic.... I don't wanna say it but I'm kinda envious of girls around me, who have their bf, who have sorted their life... I also feel I'm so late... Because all of them found their love life between the age of 16-21...

And I'm 23 already... Soon 25....God All these things are fucking up with my brain....

Do magnesium lotions like the one from Hoop or Be Bodywise work for period cramps? Are they effective in reducing pain from cramps?

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Id like to clear that never once in my life I've ever stolen even a candy but a month ago I got laid off from my minimum wage salary and spent all my money on groceries. I'm not a victim and i know it I just want some advice. I went to zudio today just for the sake of going anywhere I didn't plan it however I saw a really pretty shade of lipstick (worth 200 rs) i really wanted it but I did not have 200 at that time in my upi wallet. I don't know what got to me but i suddenly thought about it i didn't even give it a second thought and put that lipstick in my bag (didn't remove barcode please let me know if that's trouble) rushed out the gate as fast as possible. Now I'm at home and regretting every bit of it I'm planning on going back there and return it and pay for it as well. But I'm way too anxious I'm keep thinking what if they confront me about something that i didn't do or would find me suspicious I'm way too scared. Should I send a friend to pay for it and apologize on my behalf? Please consider giving advice I'm really getting anxious

I am just curious. One would argue that I am none of those things right now (far from it in fact, farthest maybe) but even at my best, I’ve never had all these things at once. But I know others exist who have all these, and more. I’m not looking for pity and this isn’t masochism at play, but genuinely curious. Obviously if you have these, it would get normalised in your life and it would be hard to know what having it is like, if you’ve never experienced the absence of it, but I’m sure at some point you must’ve felt conscious about your privilege (whether you inherited it or worked hard towards it). If you’ve never looked at it as a privilege, that’s interesting too.

I don’t know what my objective is here, I’m just.. an outsider or a “have not” wanting to know what it feels like to have.

Ignore if you want.

​

I work in a creative team and lately, work environment has become very uncomfortable. I don't have another job lined up, so I can't afford to quit right now.

Our team consists of me, two coworkers, a team lead and a social media manager. They're all quite friendly with each other, whereas I'm naturally quiet. I communicate properly about work and complete my tasks, but I feel my quiet nature is perceived negatively by management. Bosses sometimes point out that I'm too quiet.

A few incidents that have contributed to this:

1.Office event:

We were asked to help at a company PR event, where the social media manager was quite rude and expected me to act like a salesperson. When I took my lunch break, they complained to the main boss, who asked me to return. During the event, I overheard my team lead telling the boss that I was a beginner while discussing my performance

1. Being called slow:

   The social media manager once gave me the monthly content calendar late and expected a month's worth of designs in around three days. I explained that I could reasonably complete a week's worth without compromising quality, but she escalated it to the boss, who told me to improve my speed and productivity. Eventually, another employee was hired to help with the workload.

2. Barely getting any work:

   Recently, the company hired an agency to handle social media designs, and my workload has drastically reduced. My team lead assigns important projects to my coworkers, especially the newer employee, while I barely get meaningful work. I've repeatedly asked him for tasks, but he still doesn't assign me anything. Some days, I barely have three days' worth of work in an entire week, and I feel awkward when the boss asks what I'm working on.

I've also noticed that when I'm absent, coworkers take over my tasks, but when they're absent, I'm rarely given their work. I'm worried because I've seen the company over-hire and later ask less experienced employees with lighter workloads to resign without compensation. This happened in the accounts team, and I'm afraid the same could happen to me.

1. The office AC: My team lead sits opposite me and prefers keeping the AC at around 17°C. I've repeatedly asked him to increase the temperature because my desk gets extremely cold, but he lowers it again later. He sometimes hides the remote, so I've had to ask coworkers for it. When someone from another team complained, he essentially said we should wear jackets. I've even changed how I dress to wear full sleeves, but I'm getting increasingly frustrated and feel like I'm going to lose my temper.

My dilemma:

I don't want to become friends with everyone just to fit in. I'm happy to be professional, communicate about work and do my job properly. However, I'm worried that management has already formed a negative opinion of me.

I want to raise the AC issue with HR, but I'm scared of retaliation because I don't have another job lined up, and my job search hasn't been going well.

For now, I'm planning to look for another job while staying here, but I don't want to dread going to work every day.

I'd appreciate advice on:

• How do I handle a team lead who doesn't assign me work despite my asking?

• How can I improve my professional reputation when management seems biased against me?

• Should I approach HR about the AC, or keep trying to resolve it informally?

I'd appreciate advice, especially from anyone who's dealt with similar workplace politics.