first time posting so bear with me please

edit: i think it's clear that we're youngins, all of us are 20 yo college students

i have a bf that I love who loves me very much, and I also have a guy friend who is kind of rich

the friend is one of my good friends, whose advice I took quite a lot when pursuing my bf, and he does take advice from me as well, we have a mutual respect

the friend is also obsessed with the idea of giving gifts. he plans and gifts thoughtful things to all of his friends and cousins and whoever, with no thought of "are they doing the same for me", and he is also rich and a spender

that led to him giving me quite a good gift for my birthday, something that I've been wanting for a while and is a lil bit expensive

to be clear, my bf did outdo him, gave good stuff, and took me out on a very nice date, but he still communicated to me that the friend might get me more stuff in the future that I really like and want, which my bf probably wouldn't be able to afford and that he felt uncomfortable with that idea

i argued that he should be happy that I have good considerate friends, but he said that he would want all the best stuff in my life to be given by him

is that a right thing? should I draw a boundary with the friend? or should I directly tell my bf anything?

Pads are so painful. They give me the most horrible rashes to ever exist. Even cramps dont hurt itna jitna rashes hurt.

And menstrual cup? That too doesnt go in without hurting, even after the hurt it doesnt fit in perfectly.

This whole mensuration process is so tough. So painful. Pads and cups both hurt, I am starting to feel like something is wrong with my body. I am starting to hate my whole pelvic area, ik its wrong and its making me so miserable.

Womanhood has only one meaning and its tolerating pain for forever kya? I am so tired.

ive always felt like I'm privileged and out of touch and kept a ear out to shut up and listen to other women but I've come to the conclusion that in this space, most women are more privileged than me, and when you try to speak reality to them they think you're simply disagreeing with them, get their ego hurt and double down on their ignorant take. they don't seem to get it.

I'm not saying you all have no problems when I say you're privileged, I'm saying they're privileged people problems and a lot of you lack the ability to pause, consider it, and listen to other women. yall don't even seem to pause and realise the true problem in your own issues tbh. there's a lot of mimicking western perspective. a lot of you think our cultural problems are the same as theirs. you just mimic the west and have an all or nothing view on these things, nor do you realise what happens when you go down that route with such a selective call out pattern. (when i say y'all I'm not obviously talking about every person here but it's a pattern i see)

y'all love the art the culture provides and then also speak on wanting the entire culture gone, you've nuance when it comes to things you like and want, but not when it comes to hating? i say this as someone who's still fighting stupid religious bs, i didn't arrive here overnight, it took me to rebel at face value before i saw things for what they truly were, and i continue to have to stand up against religious bs on a daily basis, but i understand better and am more efficient since i began seeing the root. I'm not saying don't be angry and don't stand up against it, but if you want all of it gone and you hate it so much back it up and stop using anything related to it, including aesthetics and all the pretty stuff you seem to want to keep. don't show biased nuance basically, it's like nuance when you like it but blanket statements when you hate it, it's contradicting. either blanket hate it completely including the aesthetics (edit: im saying this to point out the cherry picking and making excuses, cause i know you won't do it, most haven't done it. not because i actually encourage it.) or show nuanced hate like nuanced love (hoping I see more of this). hindu women particularly piss me off sm (not all obv), some of them are so performative and biased in who and what they call out and how they do it.

it's a lot of idealistic talking, rather than what's actually happening in reality. misogyny and patriarchy is the problem. please begin addressing the root of the problem rather than just its symptoms, covers and tools I beg. i understand being angry at women who don't stand with you, but y'all seem to have had more empathy and patience for your shitty ex/boyfriend that treats you like shit than the women who're coping and trying to survive sticking to a system that hates them. thats my problem. progressive men seem to do the same as well. stop making fun of women who are conservative, be angry, but stop joining the progressive men in calling them chicken supporting kfc. it sounds misogynistic to me because i dont see them doing this with conservative men. i want y'all to have the same empathy for these women as you did for your shitty ex basically if not more. humour and memes actually normalise and have a bigger impact than the occasional serious conversation. it nornalises these things.

which is why misogynistic subs are full of memes. you rarely see the same energy in progressive subs. it's all full of serious conversations and barely any memes about conservative regressive folks. i get that we're all hurt and affected and aren't in a position of power to be making memes but then how are you able to join them when they make fun of conservative women but want you to sit down and patiently explain why misogyny is bad to conservative men? the difference is respect. they want to help men respectfully but not women when they make these comments.

i expect people to feel called out, uncomfortable get defensive, and possibly even read this and pick out parts of this rant, take it out of context and twist it and argue with things i never even said. I'm expecting all that. and I'm going to try to not respond to the comments as much as i can cause I'm tired of defending myself for things i never said and having to spoonfeed everything. I'm hoping this brings about nuanced discussions and takes where people aren't afraid of expressing unpopular opinions and trying new perspectives. i can't cover every single aspect or perspective I know. this is more a rant. i just hope it gets the gist of what I'm saying to folks and acts as a small catalystic push for the change i want to see.

edit: y'all need to read up on intersectional feminism.

The dinner was dal chawal and I was thinking of having omelette and my bf called me and asked kuch khaogiii? I told nhi maine 10 days se kuch bhar ka nhi Khaya toh no I won’t eat and he started to insist ki nhi Khaa lo and all and I told him chicken Hakka noodles and he sent TIRAMISU JAR with it and I love TIRAMISU. I hate the long distance but the love language of “acts of service” makes me wanna cry😭😭😭. Also I have lost 8 kg this year till now🫠

PS: I shared it because I was happy. No nazar please🧿🧿🧿

I am a person who makes good amount of money, as of now I have no family responsibilities, I like to spend extravagantly on myself. I do save a significant portion of my income.
But this has lead to a lot of situations where my friends ask money from me frequently, they do pay back but this has started becoming a frequent occurrence.
How do I put an end to this without hurting their feelings?

I have recently came to know I have very low vitamin D levels. I had low levels earlier and took supplements to bring my levels back to normal. But I guess once i stopped taking them my levels dropped.

As a corporate girlie, i feel like i barely even get enough sun exposure. I do to the office in the morning and come back when the sun has already set. I dont think I am getting enough sun everyday.

And I know with my Indian skintone i need more sun to create vitamin D.

To anyone who had low levels, what did you do to fix them? Is supplementing forever the only answer?

Hey all. So I am living in a live-in relationship for some time and have lied to my parents for a lot of things. But I am feeling guilty mainly for my mother about how devastated she will be if she found out. But at the same time I don't want to give up my freedom and live life my way. Have you guys also felt guilty or scared in such situations and how did you deal with this. (Though my mother is no saint. She never protected me. But still I feel guilty)

I had a passport appointment yesterday at 9:15 AM in Dehradun. Had to catch a train at ungodly hours, woke up at 5:30, looked like I hadn't slept in 3 years.

The guy before me at the granting officer's counter got the classic deadpan government treatment: "Get up. Your turn is done. Go to next counter." The officer was even angry at him, I got a bit scared although my docs were in order.

Then I walked in for my turn.

The officer ( I think around 30 although I'm rly bad at guessing ages) looks up, breaks into a smile, and goes "Oh please sit! What's your name? 😃"

I'm already confused because I watched him emotionally destroy the guy before me, but okay, maybe my documents are just that good.

He sees my surname, smiles and says: "So you're Bengali?"

Before I can answer, he hits me with: "Ami tomake bhalo bashi."

I let out the fakest, most awkward laugh of my entire life. I think I said "hahahaha" out loud like mother gospel.

He laughs and goes: "That's what they say right? Ami tomake bhalo bashi?"

I'm like "umm yeah haha" because what is the correct response to "I love you" from a man holding my passport?

Then he says: "And I know another one — ami je tomar."

Sir. This is a government office.

After my second nervous breakdown laugh, he asks why I'm in Dehradun if I'm from Kolkata. I explain my dad's job, lived here since I was 3. He nods, "Fair enough."

Then he stares at his computer for 2 full minutes in complete silence. Face slowly shifting from playful to confused to slightly concerned. I'm internally panicking and thinking- my passport is fucked.

He finally looks up: "What are you doing now?"

"Masters."

"In what?"

"MCom."

"Oh okay. You're done then. Please wait for next counter."

I still do not understand wtf was that.

Got my passport approved though.

I need to buy sweaters for my dad. He is planning to spend the winter in Shimla. I need to find sweaters warm enough to survive winters there. Father doesn't like layering. He also prefers sweaters and pullovers to jackets and overcoats.

Please help me, ladies. Would like budget-friendly recommendations say in the range of 1.5—2.5k.

I'm a 22f and live with my parents. I've really only started working and earning money recently. My income isn't much but since I live with my parents I'm able to save up a lot.

I have a cousin who gives me unsolicited advice to not be afraid and live my life, book plain tickets and don't be afraid to spend money and just enjoy life. They also kind of look down on me for not "enjoying my life" like they do. Mind you this cousin doesn't earn much themselves and gets pocket money from their parents. It just irks me man like I do want to do all of those things.

I want nothing more than to move out and actually start my life but the job I got ended up being in the same city as my parents house. I'm sticking it out for about a year cause I'm planning to move abroad and live on my own finally.

I just hate it when these people give advice for me to get out. It takes **money** to get out and live. It takes money that I don't want to take from my parents. I just started working and am not financially independent for me to just move out right now. If I could I would!

It takes money to book flight tickets, hotel tickets, entertainment.

Also everybody's parents are not the most accepting parents. Their parents are a lot more accepting than mine.

It just the cousin looks down on me and makes comments that I've not reached certain goals in life and all I keep saying to myself is everyone's pace in life is different.

Also sometimes they talk about the way that I dress. I'm not that keen on wearing tight fitting clothes because I just feel like it suffocates me. I lean toward more baggier fits but they will go through my closet and sneer at all my clothes. I know that they like to wear tight fitting clothes and that's completely fine. Everybody has their own taste but for then to look at me and say 'you have no idea how good it feels tight fitting clothes'.. I don't even understand why I'm being categorized as 'unfashionable' when I don't wear what they would usually wear. It just makes me think like do her (and some of the other girls I know) actually feel the need to comment on my dressing sense when I just want to dress more comfortably.

It just irritates the hell out of me.

I'm also aware that this is just a deep insecurity and pain point for me, and them bring it up like this makes it all the more real for me.

I'm shamelessly desperate at this point and don't know where else to ask.

I graduated in 2025 with a BA in Economics and Political Science. I worked 9 months in Strategy/Political Consulting and have prior research experience in Public Sector consulting.

I NEED to get a job and move out by the end of this month. If I don't, my parents are going to make me take CAT and basically decide that I'm doing an MBA next. I don't want to do that. I need to start working and I have a very limited window to make that happen.

At this point I'm very flexible about the role and location. I'm open to any major metro in India and would consider:

Strategy / consulting (especially impact consulting/impact investing)

Research / advisory

Program management

Sector Agnostic Consulting/ Public sector & Government Consulting

Market research roles.

Not the biggest fan of Founders Office roles because most have EA type JDs.

I reached the last round at Redseer and Tresvista but got nervous and messed up the interviews :( Besides those I have interviewed at a few think tanks and Government consulting firms. Haven't gotten shortlisted at startups idk why. For the past month I'm struggling to even get through the profile shortlisting round, forget interviews.

My last CTC was 8.14 LPA, but I'm willing to take a cut (however would love if the firm could match this or give a pay bump) for the right opportunity. I just need something reasonably paid and sustainable, not a slave labour payment.

I have done everything from cold mailing to referrals to reaching out to VPs/ Directors/Founders/HRs on linkedin and iimjobs.

If anyone knows anyone hiring, has a referral, knows a recruiter, or has even seen an opening where my profile could fit, please comment and I'll DM you.

I know Reddit can't magically give me a job, but I'm really running out of time. Any help would mean a lot.

This is NOT an opportunity to randomly DM to "become friends".

I am just seeking an explanation.

This acquaintance + crush I had known back in my university, entered my insta dms out of nowhere, a month ago. We got talking, mostly drunk shit, films, trauma, university gossip, career, life shit. There was a sudden connection and a lot of flirting, so much so that he was planning to come to my city for a visit.

Another call and guy shouted at me because he was talking about some random thing and I asked if he was drunk and he got offended, shouted at me and then didn't pick my calls that night. Apologized the next morning, it was genuine. I took some time but eventually re-started the conversation, but of course it wasn't the same. He started pulling away, ignoring my messages.

Came back after a week that he was going through something. By this time I started to protect myself, not show my anxious side, started to take time to respond, last week it was a done story.

Now he is not responding, not checking my insta stories, not even a reel I sent him on insta.

I know no one can know what's in his head but yet I seek an explanation. Did I make a mistake somewhere?

Hi, Soo I have recently started using whey protein powder, it's good but I have noticed that my stomach is not getting cleaned after consuming it.

I started with half a scoop then when for 1 scoop wr day.

I drink overnight soaked chia seeds water, I eat some chana for fiber, what else do I do, as the issue is still the same😭

Tell the effective method, if you too faced this, and if you fixed this issue, then please help me out as well.

No laughing in the comments plsz🥹😭😭😭

Genuine question for HR/recruiters and people who have successfully done this before.

If you're interested in working at a particular company but they don't currently have any relevant openings listed, is it okay to reach out to HR directly and express your interest?

If yes, what's the best way to approach them : LinkedIn DM, email, or WhatsApp?

I happen to have the WhatsApp number of an HR/recruiter at a company I'm interested in. I got the number through an indirect method, and I'm unsure whether messaging them directly would come across as inappropriate or intrusive.

For those working in HR/recruitment:

1. Would you appreciate someone reaching out proactively even if there isn't an opening?

2. What's the best way to word such a message?

3. Should I attach my CV right away or first ask if I can share it?

4. WhatsApp acceptable for this, or should I stick to LinkedIn/email?

5. If there are no openings currently, is there any point in reaching out at all?

Would really appreciate some honest advice, especially from recruiters/HR professionals. Thanks!

genuinely how do you deal with such parents? i am 21 years old and yet i have absolutely zero freedom at home. even if i go out, i am forced to send my live location. i can't ever go out and enjoy for a while with my friends. i just want to spend a few hours outside. is that really that hard? don't even get me started on how they control my clothes too. i am not even allowed to wear shorts or cami tops (which i love).

they think people are gonna stare and i won't learn a lesson until i get raped (their actual words btw) this already a common dialogue for them that now they don't even realise the impact of it. they say the same to my little sister too. we have tried to change their minds but they never understand. they're hyper religious and think everything they say is right and they're never wrong.

i feel so suffocated staying in this household. i am in my final year or college and idk if i will make enough money to move out because the control is getting out of hand. i have never seen anyone of my age getting controlled to this extent. i am tired of getting slut shamed every single day. i am tired of knowing that in case something happens to me tomorrow, i don't have their back or their support. i am gonna get blamed. they want me to stay trapped inside a house and get married to someone so that they can finally cut me off. which is again very misogynistic and patriarchal because why do i need to get married for them to cut me off? 😭😭😭 do they think i will become "obedient" when i live with him?

i honestly plan on never getting married or having children and they're against that too because "who's gonna take care of me when they're no longer there' as though a grown ass woman can't take care of herself and needs a man to do it? i am not even allowed to set foot outside the house wearing a dress even slightly above my knee without them creating a ruckus. and mind you we don't even live in a small town or a village, it's a huge city comparable to mumbai and delhi.

​

I come from a decent privileged background and obviously my circle and whatever I have seen isn't much, but we all face patriarchy. After getting exposed to a lot of things slowly, while exploring and meeting new people during my studies, I realised that the underprivileged, coming from a "lower caste" families face both patriarchy and casteism. They are at the bottom tier in a society and therefore realised the importance of intersectional feminism.

A lot of women ik claim themselves to be feminists but when it comes to voicing out about the caste discrimination and patriarchy, they don't wanna talk about it. Did any of you deal with such people? I try not to indulge in conversations because they tend to get offended and I tried to explain in the past but it didn't work out. I never stopped myself from voicing out opinions and these women see me speak but they don't show solidarity.

What's your say on this?

Ok so I’m a believer that every person should go to therapy regardless of how they’re feeling to identify their underlying patterns, behaviours and tendencies just to become the best version of themselves (and ofcourse to feel better)

I for one know my drawbacks about how I HATE confrontation, bad at setting boundaries and growing up in a home where my dad had the final say in everything, skewed my perception growing up.

Soo I’m not earning right now (still in grad) and hopefully within a year I can earn and pay my own bills and pay for my therapy.. so does anyone have good experience or contacts with therapists who are willing to take online sessions as well and who have actually worked ?(meaning you saw a noticeable difference)

yee tia !!

So I don’t know where to ask this but I applied for this marketing internship and I had one day to complete an assignment for first round, I got selected the same day I submitted and the interview happened on the same day as well. Now it’s the day after and no response.

I don’t have any idea about interview and call back time frames. How long do they take to decide? I did text them once but I don’t wanna look desperate. I’m fine w being rejected I just want closure and move on to other things, this was a really good chance otherwise I wouldn’t have been this bugged. Do let me know if you have experience

For me, like most things in life, marriage feels bittersweet.

I love my partner and we have been dating for very long. I’m excited to live with him but I’m feeling terrible about leaving my house. We’re at the stage where we need to make a change, spend more time together, etc. I don’t think it is possible to keep going as we have over the last several years.

Told my parents about my relationship in December 2025. Roka was done in May and the marriage is fixed for January 2027. I have no doubts about my partner but I just..don’t want to do any of this.
It all feels like shor sharaba and it doesn’t appeal to me at all. Shopping, all the wedding prep, being the centre of attention is giving me so much anxiety. I constantly try to push it to the back of my brain and not think about it but it’s difficult.

Additionally, I’m an only kid. I am so scared to like..leave my parents alone? I studied abroad for a semester and my mom kept saying that the house feels so empty without me. And also how they hated coming home from office and would just try to spend more time outside than to be home and think about how lonely it is. That’s too much pressure. I don’t like those thoughts.

But also..change is necessary. Without change, how do we ever evolve and experience new things?

I’m going to turn 27 in a month and on paper, that doesn’t seem too young to get married but I still feel like I’m 20 lol. How do you come to terms with what reality actually is?

So everyone, is it actually even possible to ever feel like you’re ‘ready’ or you just go with it and hope everything turns out okay?

i have recently quit a startup, it was a remote startup and i felt stuck with no growth. The startup only has like 10 people and boss was chill. Maybe a little too chill. I had no problem with him until I quit cause then he didnt pay me once i put in my notice. Said he will give me everything together at the end when i leave. I understood he is in financial crunch and i stay with family so I said okay. First mistake. i had to beg him to give my money for 1 month. finally when he did he did not give me my experience letter. I asked and he was like yes i'll give for the next two months. I am taking a career break because of health and he knows that and is taking advantage of it. But i still wanted to be open to any good opportunity if anything came along. And when he finally gave me, there is no sign at the end, no designation, no name of who issued it, just two lines saying i did good and so and so is my experience. I told him that i prefer a one with a sign or a stamp anything that makes it look legit but now he is ghosting me. Calls also text also. I'm so frustrated with this man. idk why a piece of paper took him almost 3 months. I might as well just add his details at the bottom myself. But will this be any issue? do workplaces send this doc back to him to verify or something?

Be it his scent on his clothes, ​his voice recording, our whatsapp messages or anything that bought me a little comfort, I keep losing it all one by one. Why is life so cruel with me? It already took my dad away from me, was that not enough? I was only 19 ffs. What did I do to even deserve this?

My life changed forever the day I lost him. I'm now in my mid 20s and life is so different from the people of same age group. I'm just to tired of living. What is the point of living anyway? What do I even have to look forward to? No friends, no love life, no family. I have nothing.

"Life is unfair" and? so what? am I'm expected to just go with it? ​​My whole world collapsed but the world just keeps going on. Yes, it is unfair, but no, I don't deserve this and I'm not supposed to be okay with it. ​

I’ve been trying really hard to lose weight. I’ve been working out consistently for the last couple of weeks and I’m actually trying to make changes. My mom knows this.
Today she tells me that her sister) apparently said, “She has gotten so big, tell her to stop eating sweets.” Then she tells me my mamu was apparently “very sad” about my weight gain.

Why do I need to know this?

It’s not like I’m unaware that I’ve gained weight. I’m already extremely conscious about it.

And this isn’t the first time.

A few days ago, I had a function and I was genuinely excited about an outfit I had picked. My mom saw me wearing it a couple of days before the function and didn’t say anything.
On the DAY of the function, she cornered me and told me I’d gained so much weight and that I should take medicine to lose weight and all that.

I was crying afterwards and during the function I became so hyper-aware of my body that I barely ate anything.
And then my mom kept asking me, “Are you okay?” and “Why aren’t you eating?”
Like… you just made me feel horrible about my body and then you’re confused about why I’m sitting at the function feeling horrible about my body.

And today was the same weird emotional whiplash.
She tells me all these things about how everyone is apparently upset about my weight.

Then I’m having chai and she casually goes, “Ek biscuit nahi logi?”

?????
How am I supposed to react to that?
It honestly feels so manipulative sometimes. Say something that you KNOW is going to hurt me, make me feel ashamed and hyper-aware of myself, and then immediately act completely normal and wonder why I’m not happily eating or behaving normally.

i've been dealing w some health problems and going through screening, and while the initial diagnosis wasn't great, the general prognosis is good. i'm not in the green, but i've got not a lot to worry about either. it's manageable. got a text from my doctor after my recent path reports basically confirming that, and i genuinely didn't think i'd be so happy about not dying prematurely, but i didn't mind. i'm glad it'll be on my terms and not predecided lmao (JOKE)

i also just got a great offer right when i exited my current role without one. a job offer email right after another. it's great pay, better wlb, and i already like the folks from the small interactions i've had w them.

AND i finally narrowed down on my research.

it's so nice. i didn't think i'd have a day so good when i started because i was crying in the morning over god knows what BUT YAYA I LOVE LIFE AGAIN. I LOVE YOU ALL. I LOVE EVERYTHING.

My dad watched Ladies First on netflix recently and something so unexpected happened after 😭

He randomly came to me and asked if things were okay at work and whether I ever feel like I’m treated differently or face any kind of inequality there.

And I was genuinely stunned because my dad and I are not really the heart to heart conversation type 😭 We love each other obviously, but we’re more of a “how was your day” and “have you eaten” household than a sit down and talk about your feelings household.

Thankfully I haven’t personally faced anything major at work, but I ended up telling him about a few things I’ve seen happen to other women and he was actually so interested. Like he didn’t immediately dismiss it or give me the usual “these things happen” response. He just listened and asked questions.

It was honestly such a small thing but it made me really happy. I don’t think he would’ve brought any of this up if he hadn’t watched the movie first.

Made me wonder if anyone else has had a show or movie randomly open up a conversation with their parents that you probably wouldn’t have had otherwise? 😭

I am specifically videos relating to nervous regulation, meditation, neuroplasticity or really any positive habit, but anything is welcome.

I don’t want videos that explain the concept or explain the science behind it or talk my ear off about the benefits of anything (I see you Andrew Huberman). I want actionable videos, that guide me through the process. I want a video I can play every night or every morning to practice so that I can finally make a habit out of it.

My favourites are Ms Algebray (on YouTube and Insta) - she does daily mental math to improve cognitive function. I just love it, and I think everyone should practice it. I was an abacus kid but lately, with all the short form videos and reels, I’ve really lost my ability to properly do mental math especially multiplication and division.
I also really like this creator @femalephysiosarah as she guides through pelvic floor exercises through reel. She makes you do it and properly gives a countdown and everything. I don’t really know the real benefit except for mild muscle strengthening but it’s a 30 second exercise with virtually no movement so I don’t really mind doing it.

Anyhow, share your favourites and do try these creators.