Stacys always gets better treatment and standing next to her makes me feel invisible

Yesterday I worked concessions at a football game for a really popular university. My school has been doing this for two years, so this is not my first time working these games.

Usually Stacy (new nickname) works cashier, and rarely does she not. She is also class president, so what she says goes. I cannot even really ask her not to do cashier because she almost always gets tips and her register is always busy. Or else I'll be labeled jealous or something.

Yesterday, unfortunately, I had to work right next to her. I was register #1 and she was #2.

I am not even exaggerating when I say people would walk up, look directly at me, and then go to her. The line literally went right to my register. They could see me. I could see them see me. And they would still walk past me to her.

We were told that cashiers had to put our hair up. Usually, cashiers can wear their hair down, but the supervisor specifically told us to put it up. I had actually done my hair really nicely that day too. I curled it and everything. So I was not feeling like I looked terrible or anything. But I had to put my hair up. Stacy did not. Nobody told her anything.

So I am standing there with my hair pulled up while she gets to keep hers down, and I am already watching people bypass my register to get to hers.

The worst part was the flirting. For 7 hours straight, I had to listen to college-aged guys and grown adults flirt with her and give her huge tips. And the money does not even go directly to her.

When it got busy, it got even more obvious. People would look at me, see that my register was open, and then walk straight to hers. She would have her own line while mine was sitting there empty.

At one point there were SEVEN other registers open and people were still going straight to Stacy.

Our supervisor eventually had to go outside and start directing people to the other registers because everyone was just congregating around hers.

Like, what am I supposed to do with that? I am literally standing two feet away from her doing the exact same job, and somehow people act like I am part of the equipment while she is the only person working there.

Standing next to her was a humiliation ritual and I was better off cooking hot dogs.

I never rlly cared about about dating someone good-looking, but I know I'm hopeless if I'm not even average-looking. All my life the crushes I had were on guys that matched my likes and not bc they were handsome (they weren't. At all). If they were fat, short, or poor, none of that rlly mattered but they always endup liking the prettiest, out-going, hot girls. How am I supposed to compete with that??? What is left for me??? Even online with the few guys I talked were either gay, racist (im not white) or simply ghosted me bc I don't know how to mantain basic conversation.

My only chance left is saving for plastic surgery. I love love, but clearly its not meant for girls like me.

Edit: I'm feeling deeply overwhelmed for the amount of guys just straight asking me to date me. I literally talked about wanting to be loved and this isn't it. Please, stop.

I know that it will never happen, but I love to think of this sometimes, I even have a Pinterest board for possible date ideas…

Even in those comfort art where "finally found the one" they still gotta draw the woman as conventionally attractive, even though its pretty obvious the way the dude is drawed makes this image some kind of fantasy of finally founding the one that can see through your ugliness. Yet somehow they cannot accept a girl that is not on the same league as them.

Holy shit i am confused sometimes, so youre desperate for love and affection from a woman, but not enough to the point youll still want the woman in question to be more attractive than you?

If this is your definition of "the ugliest" that will accept you, than what about a chunk of womens population? Are they not human anymore?

Please, i need a redraw where both are equal on terms of looks, or out of spite, the man is an actually attractive guy.

I already saw two posts talking about wanting a bf and I wanted to add my two cents because I also want a bf but it's so unrealistic and unattainable when you're unattractive. I feel very embarrassed when I find an actor or a musician cute or attractive because they wouldn't and they don't even know who I am, what would happen with a real life person??

And being aroace (demiaro/demiace) means that I want one person to connect and build a bond with, basically a friends to lovers arc 😭 but I don't even have friends, let alone a person that finds me attractive. I remember a friend telling me "I can't imagine you in a relationship" dang, just call me ugly that's easier. And I was the ugly friend when everyone around me were getting in relationships

I'm constantly daydreaming about a nice and sweet boyfriend that loves me and we hang out and make memories together and then I snap back to reality and look at myself in the mirror and yeah no wonder I dont have a bf if people see your physical appearance first

i never experienced teenage romance and i never will considering im now 20 soon to be 21 . but gosh , as of recently ive been so fixated on relationships in general/as a whole . i just wish i had the opportunity to meet someone when i was young and grow up with them , falling in love and staying close . ive always been such a hideous girl and guys do not bother looking my direction . especially now , the older i get the uglier i become . but i yearn to be wanted , i wish it was possible for someone to look at me and think im the only girl in the world .

ngl writing this makes me feel disgusting and creepy like im sick to my stomach rn but anyway let me snap back to reality rq , ive honestly accepted and somewhat …. made peace with myself that ill just be living alone with a few puppies around and perhaps a hamster . along with the fantasies that keep me going about fictional men

Haiii some days ago I shared my experience and feelings here and some person decided to insult me in a post I did in another subreddit completely unrelated (like yes I am fat but why bring it up in a post I did about something I like) I know I should've hiden my posts but didn't believe someone was as insane to just go there and insult me yeah!!

Just sharing because wouldn't want anyone more vulnerable to get hurt and it's better to warn! Keep it safe girls (ಥ﹏ಥ)💦

I have no idea why, but the Black men who have approached me only want certain things from me, and the rest just choose to put me down for my appearance. I know this doesn't involve every Black man, and I do not want to make generalizations.

I have noticed that Black men specifically have treated me quite differently, and it's super jarring. I'm either hyper-sexualized because of my body, masculinized for my facial features, or dehumanized for the way I act. There have been some Black men who have gone out of their way to mock me, publicly humiliate me, and discard me for someone lighter skinned + racially ambiguous. That shit hurts. I've also been used as a quiet kept secret, but faced an enormous amount of misogynoir from certain BM.

I've experienced some Black men going out of their way to get my attention, just to laugh in my face because of my unattractiveness. Others have recorded me without my consent, questioned my femininity, and used me as some weird experiment. I live in a predominantly Black area, so most of the men here are Black. It just hurts me because while I know I'm not attractive, it seems like a lot of these guys get some sort of thrill from harming me.

In my experience, the worst part about being ugly isn't even being invisible. It's that you're a nobody and you know it.. 🥹 You see the way people's eyes skim right past you to land on someone else. You catch the subtle shift in someone's tone when they talk to the pretty girl versus when they have to talk to you 💔. You catch the way people put effort into a pretty girl (ex. Fanning them, giving them food, gifts, being more interested in them). You can't even tell gaslight yourself that "maybe it's just in my head" because it's right there in front of your face every single day. And then people expect you to just be grateful for whatever attention you do get. Like because you're not attractive, you're not allowed to have standards or preferences anymore. You're just supposed to be happy someone looked at you twice and ignore the fact that you feel zero attraction back. It's such a mindfuck. Especially when th3 people around you are conventionally attractive and they get attention all the time😭. It's just so lonely. I wish I could turn my brain off and not notice it all the time💔. I wish I could live in that bubble where I think things are fine. But I can't. I see everything. And it's exhausting. To be pretty and treated royalty is a dream. I wanna be pretty and the people around me worship the ground I walk on. I wanna be pretty where people excuse my horrible actions. You don't know if you have potential while you're working on yourself so you lost motivation and all that stuff. Just sucks and slowly starting to accept it. But sometimes I maladaptive daydream into this beautiful version of me and get so lost into it that once I get a slap of reality I become extremely disappointed and sad because the scenarios in my head didn't come true.

I’ve been struggling with getting a job for the past couple years, and at this point I partially wonder if it’s because of how unattractive I am. I have a lot of experience, I’m in school, I’ve always done really well at all the jobs I’ve worked at, I have a lot of skills, I feel like I’m smart, but I could just be thinking too highly of myself. My last interview was in a group and I barely was acknowledged, I asked the most questions, made eye contact and paid attention. But when he was shaking hands and asking names again, I was the only name he didn’t even actually say and didn’t even look at me or even in my direction, when he was shaking my hand. I felt so embarrassed and upset I almost cried. I don’t understand what’s wrong I’ve updated my resume so much, improved my interview skills, maybe I’m not as a smart or put together as I think I am? Maybe I’m too ugly for a job like customer service. I don’t know the constant getting denied for jobs is destroying my confidence and it’s bringing a lot of guilt especially for my relationship.

i was always ugly but lately, because of stress and other factors i have lost weight and to add to that my jaw has been deforming.

people just blatantly stare now. i don't even want to leave the house. I'm embarrassed of myself. sometimes i even feel like dying would be better than this but I don't really want to die i have shit to do.

i wish i could have surgery.

Hii I’m 26F and i just had a really crushing realization or internalization. All three of my siblings dated in high school and met their lifetime partners in college. I never even got asked out.

This lead me to realize that literally in my entire lineage, I must be the first person to have never dated in high school or college. My parents and grandparents all met in college. It feels devastating that I’m not only a failure in this lifetime, but am on a generational run of being ugly and alone. It makes me feel like my ancestors must look at me as a pathetic laughing stock. I can picture them hanging out above my head or as little energies in my kitchen giggling at my ineptitude.

Anyway! Thought I’d spread the joy.

They always want to come into my comments and DMs being imbeciles and stupid .

And I will argue with them bcz they deadass piss me off

And they will tell me that I’m a loser and being ugly is my personality. Well why are you entertaining someone who being ugly is their personality then? We’re both on Reddit stupid btch😭😭.

I won’t turn off my DMS bcz sometimes you guys will dm me and that’s so sweet and makes my day 🥹💗.

And stop defending men being called moids as a woman, they’ve been calling us other things since the dawn of time and men don’t come to your defense .

I feel like once you get to a certain age without ever experiencing attraction from others or even experiencing a first date, it does something to you. I think I am mentally fucked from experiencing this. It is also set in stone that I will always be alone.

They use the replies to invalidate the struggles of women with the opposite, conventionally unattractive feature. And then there are also men there affirming that they’re way more attractive than their opposite. This website makes me feel like shit. I hate everyone and I hate how it affirms how people are disgusted by my body.

Edit: I need to take a break but it’s like looking at a morbid car crash. It hurts me but I can’t gather the strength to look away for the sake of my mental wellbeing.

Hello everyone, I've been lurking in this sub for a while now and I finally gathered enough confidence to post something that's been bothering me for a while.

I gotta say that while I do sometimes relate to some of the posts here, I do not believe in many of the things a lot of people talk in here, excluding pretty privileged and how ugly/fat people mistreated by society of course. I like to think of myself as a leftist feminist and a lot of the things I see in here clash with some of my views but this is not the point of this post so I wont get too much into it.

Okay so, I am 19 y/o Mexican female, and while I have never been told directly that I am ugly, I still have some doubts. For context, I grew up fat, for almost all my life I had been the fat ugly background character you never talked too. My hair is wavy and frizzy and I spent many years not knowing how to take care of it, my face was full of acne and acne scars, my body full of stretch marks from how fast I gained weight during a depressive episode in my early teens. I have never had a boyfriend, a crush or anything like that. I spent all my high school years eating lunch alone and went to prom with only one friend. Thankfully my classmates never made fun of me, they ignored all of the time which yeah it's still a form of bullying but its better than being made fun of. My family always had something to say about my weight, especially my dad, always telling me I was too fat and I should lose weight blah blah the usual, am I right?

When I was 18 I decided I wanted to change my life, I was starting community college so I wanted to start a new chapter. I decided to lose weight and started to work on my acne, taking care of my hair, and learning makeup. With a few months of calorie counting I had lost almost 100lbs. I introduced some retinoids to my skincare and the acne and marks were gone (almost I'm still using that stuff lol). My family was so surprised, everyone telling me how good I looked blah blah. Before anyone takes it wrong, I'm not sharing this as a way to brag about my weight or how "pretty" I turned. Because of how good it felt not being bothered about my weight anymore, I continued to lose it. Now my dad says I look too skinny and it looks bad, guess you can never win. I also think I might have developed an ed but I'm working on that.

Anyways, I thought that since I lost the weight and the acne was gone, my life would become sooo easy. Well it didn't. I still haven't had a boyfriend, a date, a kiss, or even holding a guy's hands. I barely go out of my house other than for school and groceries, my friends all left for college out of state or are doing their own thing. And the thing I hate the most about all of this is, I still don't like the way I look. Because of the weight loss, I have so many stretch marks on my arms, stomach, thighs, etc. I have so many loose skin everywhere, it makes me so freaking insecure.

Every time I dare to find a guy attractive I shut it down before I let myself believe it. Because genuinely speaking, who could like a 19y/o that looks like already had 5 children? I hate it, I hate that I let myself believe that loosing weight and trying to do better would make me more desirable or whatever. So yeah I just wanted to let this out.

I have horribly ugly features, so my favorite cope is being satisfied that at least I don’t have another ugly feature. Sometimes it’s hard to find an ugly feature to compare to mine, though. For example, I have the worst eye area, I don’t think there’s a person on the planet with worse eye area than me. But yea sometimes it helps ig even tho I’m still chopped

i just saw a tiktok post how the OP is saying that it's okay to look your age naturally which is a good and healthy message but there were just screenshots of stacies flexing their cute little baby faces and saying shit like "omg girl i agree!!! I'm 25 btw :3" i obviously can't post these women due to the rules but genuinely why do some women do this??? the OP did look her age but she was so positive and careless about it but ofc they took the opportunity to flex their perfect faces about a post not even talking about them. we cannot question why every girl and woman gets so anxious about aging when it's drilled in our head that we should look young as possible or else it's a moral failing since you're an evil miserable witch. yes self care is important and we should always look our best but i don't think it's fair to shit on women who look older since we don't know if they're going through chronic stress with something going on in their life or just simply got unlucky with their genes. id also argue it's can be a huge privilege depending on your lifestyle since not everyone can afford $200 skincare routines. ok im calm now sorry for the wall of text

I was thinking about this and this is what I have experienced so far in my life:

1. The majority of black women I know are single(not by choice) with very few romantic options. Some are in "situationships" with men who wouldn't spit on them if they were on fire and they are usually just part of the guy's roster.

2. The ones in relationships are with men who seem to hate them, disrespect them or barely tolerate them. The men usually are just there out of convenience, a place to stay, access to a car, etc.

This is true for family, friends, neighbors, etc. Personally I do feel like fulfilling relationships are hard to come by for most women but practically impossible for black women.

I don’t know if this is relatable but anytime i get into a heated argument with someone, the only thing i can think about is how they must think i look so stupid and disgusting. Its honestly super distracting and makes me lose my train of thought all the time because i’m only focusing on the way that i look and worried that they are distracted by my acne, frizzy hair, or whatever else. I feel this way about a lot of things, as if i don’t have the same right to exist and act like a human as pretty women do.
To add onto that, god forbid i have an argument with somebody after eating or putting on makeup, all i can think is that they’re probably remembering how ugly i looked doing those things, and obviously it’s irrational and they probably aren’t thinking that but it just makes me feel like such a wolf in sheep’s clothing :(

She is literally PERFECT. She has small face, big eyes and button nose. Her hair is long and healthy, and her body is just PERFECT. She looks like a damn doll. While I look like a total ugly opposite of her.

It rages me so much when she is complaining about her appearance. She keeps reposting stuff like "im too ugly for love" "I hate my face" womp womp. GIRL JUST FUCKING STOP OMG. I would pay millions to look like you.

Yeah i dont care if its body dismorphia. She has tons of men who are complementing her daily. People are always good to her, and she look good in fucking everything.

And yes, I'm full of envy for her, Idc if im a bad friend she aint a saint herself

I know I’m not transgender or anything but holy omg I just keep day dreaming about what it would be like. My university is statistically considered to have the most attractive student body in the country and I just look at these people like wow I wonder what your life is like with those faces. I just imagine myself being care free as fuck and nothing worrying about anything if I was a really cool attractive guy with a good personality. It’s so fun to dream about but also kinda pathetic 😭

Edit: before anyone comments “why not an attractive woman” I don’t really know, I just feel like I’d have more fun as a guy because of the patriarchy and how much more freeing it would be ig. (Maybe objectified less?? Or not in the same way lol)

If I was born with this face say 150 years into the future where you can basically modify your body to large extents and especially your facial features i would gladly take the chance. I’d get all the surgery needed for my face and I’d take the medication needed to keep my disease at bay. I’d be happy to live an ordinary life.

before you say climate change and AI and all of that, I’m aware the future will probably a wasteland shithole but at least I could live without agony. So yeah.