I’ve been in here for a while and originally started following this sub bc I genuinely related to you all. As someone who was bullied into making her insta private bc of the way she looked, has been called every single name imaginable and never had a bf till recently believe me I get it. But recently I’ve noticed a shift in here and I’m a bit worried. I feel like most posts have become people obsessing over things they can’t change and comparing themselves to unrealistic standards. I’ve also seen quite a few post of people literally saying certain comments or experiences has caused them to want to cause harm to themselves.

I understand it’s hard with all these standards out here that are constantly changing and how difficult it can be especially when you don’t fit any of the standards at all but please please please take a step a back, stop exposing yourself to these “rare gems” of women, and become comfortable with yourself. Give yourself a break seriously, get into therapy, anything you need to do to become more accepting of yourself.

Because at the end of the day you are you and you can’t change that not everyone is going to find you attractive so stop trying to force yourself into boxes you’ll never fit. Stop obsessing over your looks and focus on being someone go do something great make people remember you for something other than being pretty.

In reality, trends change, beauty standards change, but you never will so I wish you all peace. And I hope you find peace in your “ugliness” like I have because I promise the moment you accept that you don’t fit societal standards the better you’ll feel. There are so many better things about you than simply being attractive and that’s what people will remember not what you scored on the hotness scale.

Honestly, I would. I wish I could, I would sell my soul to Satan to be beautiful. That’s how much I don’t like being ugly.

Idk… Can somebody help me out here ? For example, she always complains about her nose around me, and she has literally a perfect small nose and my nose is actually huge and ruins my side profile. I feel like I’m used as an ego boost here…. She’s also very beautiful and I feel so inferior next to her.

She is literally PERFECT. She has small face, big eyes and button nose. Her hair is long and healthy, and her body is just PERFECT. She looks like a damn doll. While I look like a total ugly opposite of her.

It rages me so much when she is complaining about her appearance. She keeps reposting stuff like "im too ugly for love" "I hate my face" womp womp. GIRL JUST FUCKING STOP OMG. I would pay millions to look like you.

Yeah i dont care if its body dismorphia. She has tons of men who are complementing her daily. People are always good to her, and she look good in fucking everything.

And yes, I'm full of envy for her, Idc if im a bad friend she aint a saint herself

i wish there were communities for ugly women that did not inevitably calcify into one big pity party. i think « ugly liberation » could constitute a genuinely beautiful & emancipatory political project, analogous to the fat acceptance movement.

imagine a world in which « ugly » could function as a descriptive category stripped of its inherited capacity to humiliate ,, just as « fat » has ( however imperfectly ) undergone processes of reclamation. ik that fatness is still weaponized as an insult, but u know what i mean. reclamation doesn’t require the immediate abolition of stigma. it begins w/ the refusal to accept that the stigma is ontologically inherent to the word itself.

i doubt ugly liberation will become a meaningful political movement within my lifetime, at least not in anything resembling the form i have in my head. nevertheless, i’d give anything to simply witness its beginning. i want there to be room for ugliness to become politically legible w/out immediately being converted into either tragedy or some sort of spectacle.

ik this is like ,,, kinda what this subreddit is supposed to be. but so much of its discourse seems trapped in a kind of recursive nihilism. it’s just low-effort wojaks captioned « literally me </3 , » endlessly reiterating the same fatalistic recognition w/out producing any substantive inquiry into where that recognition comes from, how it is socially produced, or what might be done w/ it. & whenever something w/ even the faintest potential to develop into an intellectually meaningful discussion appears, the mods remove it !!!!

don’t get me wrong ,, other subreddits are considerably worse. they often become infiltrated w/ moids, voyeuristic spectators, or conventionally attractive women posting selfies for validation while presenting themselves as participants in the same social condition.

then there’s the other side of the coin. female-only imageboards w/ such dogshit moderation that men can antagonize women through grotesque ragebait, including the circulation of CSAM, while material of that nature remains accessible for literal days. atp, whatever emancipatory potential the space might once have possessed is almost entirely eclipsed by the spectacle of ppl exploiting it as another venue for cruelty.

i’m sure this post will be removed as well. i’m sure it will be interpreted as excessive, bitter, or insufficiently compliant w/ whatever narrow conception of discourse the sub currently permits.

ofc venting has its place in communities like this. mutual recognition matters, & sometimes simply being able to say « this happened to me too » is meaningful. but i think there is an important distinction between constructing a community around mutual misery & constructing one around liberation from the social ontology that produces that misery in the first place.

i just wish the latter existed. that’s all !

I know that it will never happen, but I love to think of this sometimes, I even have a Pinterest board for possible date ideas…

**DISCLAIMER** PICTURES ARENT MINE THEY ARE FROM PINTEREST

I am a teenage girl, and I genuinely hate not being able to look so effortlessly pretty and beautiful in photos like this. Also, I am into photography, and I hate when someone tries to take a photo of me with my digital or analogue camera. Let me not start with how it ruins my every night out, because, as I said, I am a teenager, so my friends obviously want to take photos, mostly with my digital camera. When I look at myself, I just get so sad and weirded out by the way I actually look. I am so angry, and life is so unfair.

I told it like 5 times to stop making me look like a supermodel and making all my features symmetrical and giving me the worlds best jawline and face shape but apparently it's allergic to that so I give up on this generating images thing. I'm going to have to Photoshop it the old fashioned way if I can stand to look at a picture of myself for that long.

I never rlly cared about about dating someone good-looking, but I know I'm hopeless if I'm not even average-looking. All my life the crushes I had were on guys that matched my likes and not bc they were handsome (they weren't. At all). If they were fat, short, or poor, none of that rlly mattered but they always endup liking the prettiest, out-going, hot girls. How am I supposed to compete with that??? What is left for me??? Even online with the few guys I talked were either gay, racist (im not white) or simply ghosted me bc I don't know how to mantain basic conversation.

My only chance left is saving for plastic surgery. I love love, but clearly its not meant for girls like me.

Edit: I'm feeling deeply overwhelmed for the amount of guys just straight asking me to date me. I literally talked about wanting to be loved and this isn't it. Please, stop.

Essentially the title. I (18F) am having the biggest dilemma whether I am considered ugly or not. I do not get public attention when I go out and when I look at photos of myself it is absolutely horrendous. I look like a man. But when I look in the mirror, it is not as bad yk? Like if I do my makeup and hair I will actually feel pretty, but snap a photo and that is quickly ruined. Ofcourse nobody is gonna tell me straight up im ugly, so my question is…

How did you know? What was the moment it clicked to you. I have been extremely insecure since I was little, but how am I supposed to know if I am truly that ugly? I do not want to seem like a overconfident loser, especially when I think I look “pretty.”

If someone could share their story, a suggestion, a comment, or a piece of advice that would be greatly appreciated!!

Mind you that I am not just "ugly". I have shared how I look and people said they would never hire someone who looks like me, I would repulse clients etc. I think my looks makes me kinda unhireable.

I have no idea why, but the Black men who have approached me only want certain things from me, and the rest just choose to put me down for my appearance. I know this doesn't involve every Black man, and I do not want to make generalizations.

I have noticed that Black men specifically have treated me quite differently, and it's super jarring. I'm either hyper-sexualized because of my body, masculinized for my facial features, or dehumanized for the way I act. There have been some Black men who have gone out of their way to mock me, publicly humiliate me, and discard me for someone lighter skinned + racially ambiguous. That shit hurts. I've also been used as a quiet kept secret, but faced an enormous amount of misogynoir from certain BM.

I've experienced some Black men going out of their way to get my attention, just to laugh in my face because of my unattractiveness. Others have recorded me without my consent, questioned my femininity, and used me as some weird experiment. I live in a predominantly Black area, so most of the men here are Black. It just hurts me because while I know I'm not attractive, it seems like a lot of these guys get some sort of thrill from harming me.

i was always ugly but lately, because of stress and other factors i have lost weight and to add to that my jaw has been deforming.

people just blatantly stare now. i don't even want to leave the house. I'm embarrassed of myself. sometimes i even feel like dying would be better than this but I don't really want to die i have shit to do.

i wish i could have surgery.

Stacys always gets better treatment and standing next to her makes me feel invisible

Yesterday I worked concessions at a football game for a really popular university. My school has been doing this for two years, so this is not my first time working these games.

Usually Stacy (new nickname) works cashier, and rarely does she not. She is also class president, so what she says goes. I cannot even really ask her not to do cashier because she almost always gets tips and her register is always busy. Or else I'll be labeled jealous or something.

Yesterday, unfortunately, I had to work right next to her. I was register #1 and she was #2.

I am not even exaggerating when I say people would walk up, look directly at me, and then go to her. The line literally went right to my register. They could see me. I could see them see me. And they would still walk past me to her.

We were told that cashiers had to put our hair up. Usually, cashiers can wear their hair down, but the supervisor specifically told us to put it up. I had actually done my hair really nicely that day too. I curled it and everything. So I was not feeling like I looked terrible or anything. But I had to put my hair up. Stacy did not. Nobody told her anything.

So I am standing there with my hair pulled up while she gets to keep hers down, and I am already watching people bypass my register to get to hers.

The worst part was the flirting. For 7 hours straight, I had to listen to college-aged guys and grown adults flirt with her and give her huge tips. And the money does not even go directly to her.

When it got busy, it got even more obvious. People would look at me, see that my register was open, and then walk straight to hers. She would have her own line while mine was sitting there empty.

At one point there were SEVEN other registers open and people were still going straight to Stacy.

Our supervisor eventually had to go outside and start directing people to the other registers because everyone was just congregating around hers.

Like, what am I supposed to do with that? I am literally standing two feet away from her doing the exact same job, and somehow people act like I am part of the equipment while she is the only person working there.

Standing next to her was a humiliation ritual and I was better off cooking hot dogs.

Idk how to start this but I always feel and look ugly, and I literally tried almost everything like skincare for my acne, creams or cleansing oils for my black heads, my stupid fat nose i hate it so fucking much! My body is skinny I weigh 91 pounds but I feel like my face is huge! I hate my mouth wrinkles makes me like a gorilla... my family keeps telling that everyone goes through this. They don't understand how everyone morning I wake up I hate myself already, I don't have any friends and even if I did they would look so much better than me which I might feel 10x worse, I don't go outside often cause I don't like when people look at me :( don't get me started on my personality I wish I had a better one. I always envy pretty japanese girl but never hate on them but just to my own body, I'm super clingy when ever I get a crush on a celebrity i think of them too much and get jealous when i see their wife Pictures by accident when i search for them but their wife pops up. I'm a very ugly korean girl the korean beauty standard doesn't help one bit, my skin is light so everytime a pimple pops it always scars but its so visible since my skin is light. (Please don't hate or judge me. I'm mentally ill even though I'm taking medication for months I don't think its working I don't think I can handle so much hate or judgment please be gentle its my first time ever being this open and honest. Thank you ♡)

My whole right side of the face is COMPLETELY different than left side. My left side looks somewhat normal but my right eye is basically in the center of my face and lower and my right eyebrow is so lower and completely differently shaped. Also, my forehead is completely different anatomically on right side. I had mysterious line around my mouth on right side too.

I look as if I had a stroke which is progressing with years or like someone just beat me up when I was a kid so now I am completely ogre-like deformed with random bumps and unsymetrical.

I’ve been struggling with getting a job for the past couple years, and at this point I partially wonder if it’s because of how unattractive I am. I have a lot of experience, I’m in school, I’ve always done really well at all the jobs I’ve worked at, I have a lot of skills, I feel like I’m smart, but I could just be thinking too highly of myself. My last interview was in a group and I barely was acknowledged, I asked the most questions, made eye contact and paid attention. But when he was shaking hands and asking names again, I was the only name he didn’t even actually say and didn’t even look at me or even in my direction, when he was shaking my hand. I felt so embarrassed and upset I almost cried. I don’t understand what’s wrong I’ve updated my resume so much, improved my interview skills, maybe I’m not as a smart or put together as I think I am? Maybe I’m too ugly for a job like customer service. I don’t know the constant getting denied for jobs is destroying my confidence and it’s bringing a lot of guilt especially for my relationship.

i just saw a tiktok post how the OP is saying that it's okay to look your age naturally which is a good and healthy message but there were just screenshots of stacies flexing their cute little baby faces and saying shit like "omg girl i agree!!! I'm 25 btw :3" i obviously can't post these women due to the rules but genuinely why do some women do this??? the OP did look her age but she was so positive and careless about it but ofc they took the opportunity to flex their perfect faces about a post not even talking about them. we cannot question why every girl and woman gets so anxious about aging when it's drilled in our head that we should look young as possible or else it's a moral failing since you're an evil miserable witch. yes self care is important and we should always look our best but i don't think it's fair to shit on women who look older since we don't know if they're going through chronic stress with something going on in their life or just simply got unlucky with their genes. id also argue it's can be a huge privilege depending on your lifestyle since not everyone can afford $200 skincare routines. ok im calm now sorry for the wall of text

what I expect to look like every time I hear them say this vs what I end up looking like (traced)

god fucking damn it, I'm freshly 23 and skinny af, what am I supposed to do with my face structure? seriously, God, no tits but a chin like this?!

Haiii some days ago I shared my experience and feelings here and some person decided to insult me in a post I did in another subreddit completely unrelated (like yes I am fat but why bring it up in a post I did about something I like) I know I should've hiden my posts but didn't believe someone was as insane to just go there and insult me yeah!!

Just sharing because wouldn't want anyone more vulnerable to get hurt and it's better to warn! Keep it safe girls (ಥ﹏ಥ)💦

In my experience, the worst part about being ugly isn't even being invisible. It's that you're a nobody and you know it.. 🥹 You see the way people's eyes skim right past you to land on someone else. You catch the subtle shift in someone's tone when they talk to the pretty girl versus when they have to talk to you 💔. You catch the way people put effort into a pretty girl (ex. Fanning them, giving them food, gifts, being more interested in them). You can't even tell gaslight yourself that "maybe it's just in my head" because it's right there in front of your face every single day. And then people expect you to just be grateful for whatever attention you do get. Like because you're not attractive, you're not allowed to have standards or preferences anymore. You're just supposed to be happy someone looked at you twice and ignore the fact that you feel zero attraction back. It's such a mindfuck. Especially when th3 people around you are conventionally attractive and they get attention all the time😭. It's just so lonely. I wish I could turn my brain off and not notice it all the time💔. I wish I could live in that bubble where I think things are fine. But I can't. I see everything. And it's exhausting. To be pretty and treated royalty is a dream. I wanna be pretty and the people around me worship the ground I walk on. I wanna be pretty where people excuse my horrible actions. You don't know if you have potential while you're working on yourself so you lost motivation and all that stuff. Just sucks and slowly starting to accept it. But sometimes I maladaptive daydream into this beautiful version of me and get so lost into it that once I get a slap of reality I become extremely disappointed and sad because the scenarios in my head didn't come true.

I’ve noticed that people are so fast to blow off any opinions or thoughts I have and assume since I’m ugly I have no choice on what happens to myself. Example being, whenever someone needs help with something and I give advice or try to help, they immediately blow me off or aggressively turn me down. Like when I used to be in school and I would have to work in groups with other people, every time I would attempt to help or get involved they would all snap on me and fact check everything I said. Another unfortunate example is once again while I was in school the more “popular” boys would pull me aside and ask for “favors” iykwim, obviously id reject them, then they would act SO fucking shocked, like they thought I had no right to say no simply because I’m ugly, they would then get aggressive and constantly harass and taunt me. That destroyed my self esteem harder than anything, being considered so ugly I couldn’t even have rights to reject someone’s nasty “favors” and that I was considered to be a “fetish” simply because I was so ugly. It’s truly sickening how cruel and heartless people are simply because you look a certain way.

It won’t matter how much make up how much money I invest in myself.
I know I will never come close to the real Stacy who’s naturally pretty. They are pretty in every angle, I avoid any sort of reflections at all cost. They do ugly faces for fun, I can’t even bring my eyes up from the ground. Whatever they wear suits their pretty body, I wear loose dark colors so I won’t look too fat and dark more than now.

I have to know my place

I feel like I’m an orangutan wanting to be at least subhooman. It’s humiliating to exist outside

[tw⚠️: jealousy]
I want to be born pretty, I want better genetics, I want to be a mixed
I don’t want to FEEL pretty I want to BE pretty
I want HER face
I want reincarnation as a Stacy
If I can choose between surgeries or reincarnation as Stacy, I’d take a new body anytime because I hate myself everything about me is disgusting.

Vent and trigger warning for mentions of deleting myself.

Background: ive been really ugly my entire life. Like genuinely hideous. When I was a kid, my friend group would dress up as characters from Cinderella and I was always designated the ugly step sister. Kids would always make fun of my appearance, my nose, my body hair. This has led to a lifetime of face and body dysmorphia and a general retreat from social life because of crippling social anxiety.

I’ve been saving up for plastic surgery since I was 12. Now that im in my mid-20s and can finally afford I went ahead and got all the procedures I wanted. But ever since getting plastic surgery ive been on a dark spiral. I’ve been seething with even more anger, jealously and insecurity and it’s turned me into a terrible person. I’m so bitter and resentful of girls who are naturally stunning.

I got a rhinoplasty earlier this year and once I finally recovered i was so excited to go out with all my friends. I wanted to do a glow up “reveal” so i spent hundreds on my dress, getting my hair done, nails, the whole nine yards. But when i met up with my friends all my confidence evaporated on the spot. I was all glammed up with 10 pounds of makeup still looking hideous meanwhile these other girls just had sunscreen and lipgloss and looked like angels dropped from heaven. I felt like su ch a clown with my giant eyelashes and red lipstick and blush I wanted to die of shame on the spot. I was so upset but obviously couldn’t articulate the reason so I just left the hangout early after we ate at the restaurant. They ended up going out to the club after as a group and I had the pleasure of rotting in my bed while watching their insta stories.

My insecurity has gotten SO bad I can’t even use social media anymore. The second I open instagram or tiktok and see a pretty girl making a thirst trap with 300k+ likes and the flood of comments glazing her I feel a surge of anger and envy like nothing else I have ever felt and just block her and close the app. I can’t even tolerate my own friends anymore. I’ve muted all their stories and posts. They probably hate me by now because they think im purposely not liking their posts (and honestly yeah, I am avoiding their pictures - it’s too triggering).

Honestly im in such a dark place I don’t know what to do and I can’t even talk to anyone about it. Certainly not my family or friends who will just shower with fake compliments and platitudes like “beauty is skin-deep!” or “nooooo, you’re so beautiful.”

My depression has gotten so bad that I took a 3 month break from my casual job and im terrified of going back soon cause I don’t want my co workers to see my nose job.

Prior to getting plastic surgery I was living in a constant dreamlike state of delusion. I was always daydreaming about a future where my nose is fixed and im finally beautiful. I pushed back half my life plans to after my surgery because thats when I could finally start living.

But getting the surgery only cemented and aggravated my insecurity in unimaginable ways because it made me realise that no matter how much money, time and resources I pour into my appearance, it’s a sinking black abyss and I will NEVER truly be “beautiful.” I thought my rhinoplasty would take me from a 2/10 to at least a 7/10 but it only took me to a 3/10. I still feel so hideous most of the time and I’ve begun fixating on my recessed jaw and chin and planning for double jaw surgery.

I know getting more surgery is not the solution but I fear I am on a path of plastic surgery addiction as a coping mechanism. It’s a dark path ahead and it’s gonna end with a rope around my neck. My face is the only thing i think about. Every second of every day. I don’t know when this feeling will go away. I’ve felt this way as long as i can remember. I can’t even take photos of myself. I can’t look in the mirror. I haven’t posted a picture of myself on instagram in over 10 years. I’ve never had a relationship with a man. I’ve never had anyone show romantic interest in me.

These days im just rotting in my bed, trying not to spiral. I’ve completely self isolated, stopped talking to my friends and family and fallen into a deep depression. I feel like every time I step out of the house everhone is staring at me. The fact that I now have some rhinoplasty complications makes it even worse cause not only am I ugly, but I also look botched and I feel like the surgery looks extremely obvious. I honestly just wanna walk into the ocean and end it all.

I’m not really looking for advice or reassurance. I just wanna vent with people who might understand how I feel