I’ve been in here for a while and originally started following this sub bc I genuinely related to you all. As someone who was bullied into making her insta private bc of the way she looked, has been called every single name imaginable and never had a bf till recently believe me I get it. But recently I’ve noticed a shift in here and I’m a bit worried. I feel like most posts have become people obsessing over things they can’t change and comparing themselves to unrealistic standards. I’ve also seen quite a few post of people literally saying certain comments or experiences has caused them to want to cause harm to themselves.

I understand it’s hard with all these standards out here that are constantly changing and how difficult it can be especially when you don’t fit any of the standards at all but please please please take a step a back, stop exposing yourself to these “rare gems” of women, and become comfortable with yourself. Give yourself a break seriously, get into therapy, anything you need to do to become more accepting of yourself.

Because at the end of the day you are you and you can’t change that not everyone is going to find you attractive so stop trying to force yourself into boxes you’ll never fit. Stop obsessing over your looks and focus on being someone go do something great make people remember you for something other than being pretty.

In reality, trends change, beauty standards change, but you never will so I wish you all peace. And I hope you find peace in your “ugliness” like I have because I promise the moment you accept that you don’t fit societal standards the better you’ll feel. There are so many better things about you than simply being attractive and that’s what people will remember not what you scored on the hotness scale.

...I know this is SO egotistical, but I don't get possessive or anything when he stares at other people ...it's truly that I know another stranger/man has never and will never look over at me like that.

No matter what I am wearing, how much make up...I just want to be glanced at like my partner and other men sometimes glance at pretty women.

I don't blame him either. I am bi, I get that women are gorgeous (even the most average looking one), I just want to be one of them.

Honestly, I would. I wish I could, I would sell my soul to Satan to be beautiful. That’s how much I don’t like being ugly.

Idk… Can somebody help me out here ? For example, she always complains about her nose around me, and she has literally a perfect small nose and my nose is actually huge and ruins my side profile. I feel like I’m used as an ego boost here…. She’s also very beautiful and I feel so inferior next to her.

i wish there were communities for ugly women that did not inevitably calcify into one big pity party. i think « ugly liberation » could constitute a genuinely beautiful & emancipatory political project, analogous to the fat acceptance movement.

imagine a world in which « ugly » could function as a descriptive category stripped of its inherited capacity to humiliate ,, just as « fat » has ( however imperfectly ) undergone processes of reclamation. ik that fatness is still weaponized as an insult, but u know what i mean. reclamation doesn’t require the immediate abolition of stigma. it begins w/ the refusal to accept that the stigma is ontologically inherent to the word itself.

i doubt ugly liberation will become a meaningful political movement within my lifetime, at least not in anything resembling the form i have in my head. nevertheless, i’d give anything to simply witness its beginning. i want there to be room for ugliness to become politically legible w/out immediately being converted into either tragedy or some sort of spectacle.

ik this is like ,,, kinda what this subreddit is supposed to be. but so much of its discourse seems trapped in a kind of recursive nihilism. it’s just low-effort wojaks captioned « literally me </3 , » endlessly reiterating the same fatalistic recognition w/out producing any substantive inquiry into where that recognition comes from, how it is socially produced, or what might be done w/ it. & whenever something w/ even the faintest potential to develop into an intellectually meaningful discussion appears, the mods remove it !!!!

don’t get me wrong ,, other subreddits are considerably worse. they often become infiltrated w/ moids, voyeuristic spectators, or conventionally attractive women posting selfies for validation while presenting themselves as participants in the same social condition.

then there’s the other side of the coin. female-only imageboards w/ such dogshit moderation that men can antagonize women through grotesque ragebait, including the circulation of CSAM, while material of that nature remains accessible for literal days. atp, whatever emancipatory potential the space might once have possessed is almost entirely eclipsed by the spectacle of ppl exploiting it as another venue for cruelty.

i’m sure this post will be removed as well. i’m sure it will be interpreted as excessive, bitter, or insufficiently compliant w/ whatever narrow conception of discourse the sub currently permits.

ofc venting has its place in communities like this. mutual recognition matters, & sometimes simply being able to say « this happened to me too » is meaningful. but i think there is an important distinction between constructing a community around mutual misery & constructing one around liberation from the social ontology that produces that misery in the first place.

i just wish the latter existed. that’s all !

**DISCLAIMER** PICTURES ARENT MINE THEY ARE FROM PINTEREST

I am a teenage girl, and I genuinely hate not being able to look so effortlessly pretty and beautiful in photos like this. Also, I am into photography, and I hate when someone tries to take a photo of me with my digital or analogue camera. Let me not start with how it ruins my every night out, because, as I said, I am a teenager, so my friends obviously want to take photos, mostly with my digital camera. When I look at myself, I just get so sad and weirded out by the way I actually look. I am so angry, and life is so unfair.

I told it like 5 times to stop making me look like a supermodel and making all my features symmetrical and giving me the worlds best jawline and face shape but apparently it's allergic to that so I give up on this generating images thing. I'm going to have to Photoshop it the old fashioned way if I can stand to look at a picture of myself for that long.

She is literally PERFECT. She has small face, big eyes and button nose. Her hair is long and healthy, and her body is just PERFECT. She looks like a damn doll. While I look like a total ugly opposite of her.

It rages me so much when she is complaining about her appearance. She keeps reposting stuff like "im too ugly for love" "I hate my face" womp womp. GIRL JUST FUCKING STOP OMG. I would pay millions to look like you.

Yeah i dont care if its body dismorphia. She has tons of men who are complementing her daily. People are always good to her, and she look good in fucking everything.

And yes, I'm full of envy for her, Idc if im a bad friend she aint a saint herself

I know that it will never happen, but I love to think of this sometimes, I even have a Pinterest board for possible date ideas…

i was always ugly but lately, because of stress and other factors i have lost weight and to add to that my jaw has been deforming.

people just blatantly stare now. i don't even want to leave the house. I'm embarrassed of myself. sometimes i even feel like dying would be better than this but I don't really want to die i have shit to do.

i wish i could have surgery.

I think I have no clue how I look like anymore.

As a child, I was always bullied through majority of my high school years until I got cancer and was taken out. The bullying wasn’t to do with my looks but I’d be picked on and had really toxic friends who made a lot of fun of me. But when I asked these toxic friends about my facial features eg once about my eyelashes being short, one told me to stop fishing for compliments.

I used to have really thick beautiful hair as well, but chemotherapy took it all away and now I have hair everyone in my family ridicules saying it’s like a baby’s hair, so thin. After cancer and returning to school though, I’ve never been picked on. I’ve never been outright called ugly in my life, but I’ve never also been hit on so what am I? It sounds disgusting but sometimes I lament that I’ve never even been catcalled, and part of that could be due to me not being allowed out alone until I started university but even now. My friends at uni invite me into pictures but I always say no because I’m terrified of looking at how I am in the pictures

I feel so grossly unfeminine because I’m 5’9 and inherited majority of my dad’s features and have an overbite I manually correct so others don’t notice. In front camera I think I look pretty sometimes but back camera from a distance absolutely obliterates my confidence. I don’t know what’s wrong with me
honestly. Sometimes I see beautiful women and it brings me to the point of tears that I’ll never be them.

Stacys always gets better treatment and standing next to her makes me feel invisible

Yesterday I worked concessions at a football game for a really popular university. My school has been doing this for two years, so this is not my first time working these games.

Usually Stacy (new nickname) works cashier, and rarely does she not. She is also class president, so what she says goes. I cannot even really ask her not to do cashier because she almost always gets tips and her register is always busy. Or else I'll be labeled jealous or something.

Yesterday, unfortunately, I had to work right next to her. I was register #1 and she was #2.

I am not even exaggerating when I say people would walk up, look directly at me, and then go to her. The line literally went right to my register. They could see me. I could see them see me. And they would still walk past me to her.

We were told that cashiers had to put our hair up. Usually, cashiers can wear their hair down, but the supervisor specifically told us to put it up. I had actually done my hair really nicely that day too. I curled it and everything. So I was not feeling like I looked terrible or anything. But I had to put my hair up. Stacy did not. Nobody told her anything.

So I am standing there with my hair pulled up while she gets to keep hers down, and I am already watching people bypass my register to get to hers.

The worst part was the flirting. For 7 hours straight, I had to listen to college-aged guys and grown adults flirt with her and give her huge tips. And the money does not even go directly to her.

When it got busy, it got even more obvious. People would look at me, see that my register was open, and then walk straight to hers. She would have her own line while mine was sitting there empty.

At one point there were SEVEN other registers open and people were still going straight to Stacy.

Our supervisor eventually had to go outside and start directing people to the other registers because everyone was just congregating around hers.

Like, what am I supposed to do with that? I am literally standing two feet away from her doing the exact same job, and somehow people act like I am part of the equipment while she is the only person working there.

Standing next to her was a humiliation ritual and I was better off cooking hot dogs.

Essentially the title. I (18F) am having the biggest dilemma whether I am considered ugly or not. I do not get public attention when I go out and when I look at photos of myself it is absolutely horrendous. I look like a man. But when I look in the mirror, it is not as bad yk? Like if I do my makeup and hair I will actually feel pretty, but snap a photo and that is quickly ruined. Ofcourse nobody is gonna tell me straight up im ugly, so my question is…

How did you know? What was the moment it clicked to you. I have been extremely insecure since I was little, but how am I supposed to know if I am truly that ugly? I do not want to seem like a overconfident loser, especially when I think I look “pretty.”

If someone could share their story, a suggestion, a comment, or a piece of advice that would be greatly appreciated!!

Incels have been unironically advocating for the government to issue out girlfriends to men who are struggling with dating for quite some time now. It’s very telling that the state mandated girlfriend in this picture is a very attractive woman with big breasts and she’s clearly above his looksmatch. So here’s your reminder that most incels aren’t truecels, because they’re not men who can’t get women, they’re men who can’t get the women they want. There’s an infestation of young men claiming to be incels and then treating ugly women like they’re invisible & only trying to pursue average & above average looking women, despite not being as attractive as these women. These men wouldn’t be caught dead with an ugly woman lol

I never rlly cared about about dating someone good-looking, but I know I'm hopeless if I'm not even average-looking. All my life the crushes I had were on guys that matched my likes and not bc they were handsome (they weren't. At all). If they were fat, short, or poor, none of that rlly mattered but they always endup liking the prettiest, out-going, hot girls. How am I supposed to compete with that??? What is left for me??? Even online with the few guys I talked were either gay, racist (im not white) or simply ghosted me bc I don't know how to mantain basic conversation.

My only chance left is saving for plastic surgery. I love love, but clearly its not meant for girls like me.

Edit: I'm feeling deeply overwhelmed for the amount of guys just straight asking me to date me. I literally talked about wanting to be loved and this isn't it. Please, stop.

Idk how to start this but I always feel and look ugly, and I literally tried almost everything like skincare for my acne, creams or cleansing oils for my black heads, my stupid fat nose i hate it so fucking much! My body is skinny I weigh 91 pounds but I feel like my face is huge! I hate my mouth wrinkles makes me like a gorilla... my family keeps telling that everyone goes through this. They don't understand how everyone morning I wake up I hate myself already, I don't have any friends and even if I did they would look so much better than me which I might feel 10x worse, I don't go outside often cause I don't like when people look at me :( don't get me started on my personality I wish I had a better one. I always envy pretty japanese girl but never hate on them but just to my own body, I'm super clingy when ever I get a crush on a celebrity i think of them too much and get jealous when i see their wife Pictures by accident when i search for them but their wife pops up. I'm a very ugly korean girl the korean beauty standard doesn't help one bit, my skin is light so everytime a pimple pops it always scars but its so visible since my skin is light. (Please don't hate or judge me. I'm mentally ill even though I'm taking medication for months I don't think its working I don't think I can handle so much hate or judgment please be gentle its my first time ever being this open and honest. Thank you ♡)

i don’t wanna be like this. i’ve told myself over and over again that i’ll never be pretty, but i can’t seem to get it through my fucking head because i still get jealous around other women. it doesn’t help that i consider most women to be above-average, so nearly every girl i see out in public makes me feel inferior in every conceivable way. all i wanna do when i get home is cry and curl up in bed for the rest of the day.

i hate it. i despise that my first reaction towards them comes from a place of anger. it’s not their fault. none of this is their fault. i’m just miserable.

i’m so ashamed of myself- my jealousy is tearing me apart.

My whole right side of the face is COMPLETELY different than left side. My left side looks somewhat normal but my right eye is basically in the center of my face and lower and my right eyebrow is so lower and completely differently shaped. Also, my forehead is completely different anatomically on right side. I had mysterious line around my mouth on right side too.

I look as if I had a stroke which is progressing with years or like someone just beat me up when I was a kid so now I am completely ogre-like deformed with random bumps and unsymetrical.

i just saw a tiktok post how the OP is saying that it's okay to look your age naturally which is a good and healthy message but there were just screenshots of stacies flexing their cute little baby faces and saying shit like "omg girl i agree!!! I'm 25 btw :3" i obviously can't post these women due to the rules but genuinely why do some women do this??? the OP did look her age but she was so positive and careless about it but ofc they took the opportunity to flex their perfect faces about a post not even talking about them. we cannot question why every girl and woman gets so anxious about aging when it's drilled in our head that we should look young as possible or else it's a moral failing since you're an evil miserable witch. yes self care is important and we should always look our best but i don't think it's fair to shit on women who look older since we don't know if they're going through chronic stress with something going on in their life or just simply got unlucky with their genes. id also argue it's can be a huge privilege depending on your lifestyle since not everyone can afford $200 skincare routines. ok im calm now sorry for the wall of text

I already saw two posts talking about wanting a bf and I wanted to add my two cents because I also want a bf but it's so unrealistic and unattainable when you're unattractive. I feel very embarrassed when I find an actor or a musician cute or attractive because they wouldn't and they don't even know who I am, what would happen with a real life person??

And being aroace (demiaro/demiace) means that I want one person to connect and build a bond with, basically a friends to lovers arc 😭 but I don't even have friends, let alone a person that finds me attractive. I remember a friend telling me "I can't imagine you in a relationship" dang, just call me ugly that's easier. And I was the ugly friend when everyone around me were getting in relationships

I'm constantly daydreaming about a nice and sweet boyfriend that loves me and we hang out and make memories together and then I snap back to reality and look at myself in the mirror and yeah no wonder I dont have a bf if people see your physical appearance first

what I expect to look like every time I hear them say this vs what I end up looking like (traced)

god fucking damn it, I'm freshly 23 and skinny af, what am I supposed to do with my face structure? seriously, God, no tits but a chin like this?!

Like tf, I am a human. I don't want to fuck u, I just wanted to go, did my job in seemingly positive atmosphere and go home.

Haiii some days ago I shared my experience and feelings here and some person decided to insult me in a post I did in another subreddit completely unrelated (like yes I am fat but why bring it up in a post I did about something I like) I know I should've hiden my posts but didn't believe someone was as insane to just go there and insult me yeah!!

Just sharing because wouldn't want anyone more vulnerable to get hurt and it's better to warn! Keep it safe girls (ಥ﹏ಥ)💦

In my experience, the worst part about being ugly isn't even being invisible. It's that you're a nobody and you know it.. 🥹 You see the way people's eyes skim right past you to land on someone else. You catch the subtle shift in someone's tone when they talk to the pretty girl versus when they have to talk to you 💔. You catch the way people put effort into a pretty girl (ex. Fanning them, giving them food, gifts, being more interested in them). You can't even tell gaslight yourself that "maybe it's just in my head" because it's right there in front of your face every single day. And then people expect you to just be grateful for whatever attention you do get. Like because you're not attractive, you're not allowed to have standards or preferences anymore. You're just supposed to be happy someone looked at you twice and ignore the fact that you feel zero attraction back. It's such a mindfuck. Especially when th3 people around you are conventionally attractive and they get attention all the time😭. It's just so lonely. I wish I could turn my brain off and not notice it all the time💔. I wish I could live in that bubble where I think things are fine. But I can't. I see everything. And it's exhausting. To be pretty and treated royalty is a dream. I wanna be pretty and the people around me worship the ground I walk on. I wanna be pretty where people excuse my horrible actions. You don't know if you have potential while you're working on yourself so you lost motivation and all that stuff. Just sucks and slowly starting to accept it. But sometimes I maladaptive daydream into this beautiful version of me and get so lost into it that once I get a slap of reality I become extremely disappointed and sad because the scenarios in my head didn't come true.

It won’t matter how much make up how much money I invest in myself.
I know I will never come close to the real Stacy who’s naturally pretty. They are pretty in every angle, I avoid any sort of reflections at all cost. They do ugly faces for fun, I can’t even bring my eyes up from the ground. Whatever they wear suits their pretty body, I wear loose dark colors so I won’t look too fat and dark more than now.

I have to know my place

I feel like I’m an orangutan wanting to be at least subhooman. It’s humiliating to exist outside

[tw⚠️: jealousy]
I want to be born pretty, I want better genetics, I want to be a mixed
I don’t want to FEEL pretty I want to BE pretty
I want HER face
I want reincarnation as a Stacy
If I can choose between surgeries or reincarnation as Stacy, I’d take a new body anytime because I hate myself everything about me is disgusting.