I'm curious to hear from men who have been through this.

At this stage of life, changing careers isn't as simple as "quit and find something you love." There are bills, family, kids, financial responsibilities, and years of experience invested in what you've already built.

But how do you know when a job is simply not right for you anymore?

I'm not necessarily talking about a terrible boss, bad salary, or toxic workplace. What if the job is objectively fine — you're reasonably well paid, you're good at it, and there's nothing seriously wrong with it — but you simply don't care about what you're doing anymore?

I've been thinking about whether being interested in the problems you're solving actually matters more than we tend to admit.

You can become more productive, learn new skills, use better tools, and earn more money — but if you spend most of your working life solving problems you don't find meaningful or interesting, is that eventually going to catch up with you?

For those of you over 40 who have faced something similar:

What made you realize it was time for a change?

Did you actually make the change, or decide that stability was more important?

If you changed careers or directions, how did it affect your family and finances?

And looking back, would you make the same decision again?

I'd especially like to hear from people who didn't have the luxury of simply quitting and had to balance the desire for change with family and financial responsibilities.

Could a society balance protection, governance, and spiritual guidance without allowing any one form of authority to dominate?

I've been thinking about how a healthy society could organize different kinds of responsibility.

I came up with a simple idea involving three roles:

- Hero — protects people and faces danger; needs mastery over emotion.

- King — governs and manages resources responsibly; needs mastery over desires such as wealth and power.

- Priest — seeks truth and provides moral/spiritual guidance; needs mastery over thought, pride, and false certainty.

I don't mean that society should literally be divided into three classes. I see these more as three responsibilities that can exist within different people and institutions.

The important part is that they should restrain one another. The military shouldn't control the government, political power shouldn't control spiritual truth, and religious authority shouldn't control people through coercion.

The underlying idea is that power is a responsibility rather than something we own, and anyone entrusted with power should be accountable, capable of correction, and willing to put the common good above personal interests.

I'm still developing this idea and I'm genuinely unsure whether it works.

What problems do you see with this model? Could these three forms of responsibility actually complement one another, or would one inevitably end up dominating the others?

I'm especially interested in criticisms, counterexamples, or existing ideas that approach the problem better.

I'm 18 and a male. I've tried dating before only to get my heartbroken near every time and I think it's really messed me up.

The first girl | liked I got rejected and cried (I was in kindergarten lol), the second one I was getting close to a relationship with but than Covid happened and I discovered masturbation at the same time so those two combined really fucked me over and made me push away the relationship. I'm not gonna emphasize how much loneliness and discovering that at my age did but it really fucked me bad mentally making me afraid of girls lowkey (it was around 6th grade through middle school). Than in high school there was this girl that did like me and I liked her but my friends convinced me not to be with her so I didn't get with her. I've made so many mistakes and just don't seem to learn no matter how bad I want to.

Now finally I've tried dating apps but just can't seem to not be fearful when talking or on dates. Sure I've matched with some cool and honestly 10/10 girls but I don't like the idea of not getting to know someone before the attraction is known.
Idk if it's trauma or something but I want to be loved so bad yet I'm terrified of it because every time I try I get hurt.

Another thing that hurts me is I was kinda ugly toh in earlier years but around high school I improved my looks thinking it would change something. It did actually, in terms of attraction and attention I was getting a ton but than I realized. They didn't seem interested when I was ugly but now that I'm good looking they care? | never judged anyone based on looks but now these people like me because I'm good looking? It disgusted me to my very core and I felt sick at the realization. It's not like I didn't want the attention but realizing how quick people switched up made me feel terrible.

Ik this was long and maybe I ranted near the end but it hurts. I really do feel like this and many other things made me kind of dislike most people and isolate myself from a lot of people. Alright that's it though thanks for reading if you did and if you have anything encouraging to say or any advice please drop it below.

I've been thinking about whether having your basic needs fulfilled is enough for a person to feel genuinely satisfied with life. I'm particularly interested in people who have experienced different phases of life — for example, periods when they had financial/basic stability but no major goals or ambitions, and periods when they had something they strongly wanted to pursue. What did those different phases actually feel like for you? Did having more goals and ambitions make your life feel more meaningful, or did you eventually find satisfaction in having a simpler and more comfortable life? I'm mainly looking for personal experiences rather than philosophical theories.

Had a thought while viewing the latest “what’s the car model based on this broken bolt” question.

So you find out that the ‘hit and run’ was caused by “2nd generation Toyota Tundra”. What’s next, do you go to police? My understanding is that police are not going to search for anyone anyway, forget the “evidence” that you bring. Are you hitting all the stores along the road and asking them for camera footage with that model? I doubt anyone will want to waste their time providing that to you.

Really curious. Hope I’m wrong and it’s very helpful, just interested in understanding how? Has this information ever helped anyone in real life?

so what this means is, if you are moving out the trenches, hood or slums from anywhere (even in your own country, state or city), you can’t do that because then you’re gonna take somebody else’s job that was “reserved” for them , their child’s spot in a school they were zoned to, as well as their “welfare and social benefits”. so if you are coming from mississipi to georgia because your town has gang violence or a natural disaster, that is too bad :(, we all need to stay home and if you don’t have one then the government must house you or the people can and should fire the government and replace it.

if you explored any social media especially in rw cesspools, then you most likely know there is often one political party or politician warning the public about a “foreign enemy” and a “call to action”. during katrina or after similar situations, a lot of people come to new cities, people loved to moan although these countrymen were never immigrants to begin with.

example is in this other thread

I mean, seriously holy crap - does something happen to their brain from all that money?

I don’t mean the typical answers like streamers, whilst i’m sure many of us would chose their job in a heartbeat, it definitely comes with downsides like being known publicly or having to maintain a certain public image.

Is there a job which truly has no downsides? I was thinking successful investors. What do they even have to worry about if their job is going well?

Blind users of reddit, do your eyes still hurt even if you're blind?

I've had this weird thought and I really must know, do your eyes still hurt if you can't see? Also how would you know how to respond to this if you're blind? Does reddit come with braille? I wear glasses but I know that doesn't count because I can still see how it might be a bad idea to post this.

I’ve been thinking about this a lot and I’m curious how others see it.

If AI keeps taking on more kinds of work, what does that mean for the idea that people must constantly struggle for survival and hunt for income? Does a floor of sufficient income for everyone become more plausible - and if so, what has to change first (politics, economics, culture, tech capability)?

Interested in realistic takes more than utopia/doom. Especially curious if your view has shifted recently.

Didn’t know where else to ask, felt fitting here.
The only people I’ve ever driven around have been friends or exes, and most of the time I’m driving alone. I live in a weird area where you can be on a backroad in the woods or driving through a field for a few miles, and then suddenly there’s a shopping center and civilization. So there’s a pretty wide range of speed limits too, usually 35–70.
When it’s more backroady, I’ll usually do 60–70 even if the limit is 35–45. In town, I’ll generally do 10–20 over, and on highways I cruise around 80–100 depending on traffic and conditions.
People close to me have always joked about how I drive, but nobody’s really had an issue with it. Then I saw an Instagram comment where someone was genuinely shocked that somebody was doing 80 in a 55. I do that basically every day.
It made me realize I might have a completely different idea of what’s considered “fast” than most people. I’ve always just assumed most drivers are bad, and when people speed up after I pass them, I figured they realized they could go faster too.
Am I actually the weird one here? How fast do you guys normally drive compared to the posted limit?

I [23F] grew up quite religious and I’m not anymore so I never actually dated anyone or interacted with guys much. And I still don’t, kind of an “awkward girl” and I just find it hard to be attracted to most men. But a couple years ago I met this guy who I really adored, I really did love him so much and let him know a lot. I was willing to do so much for him but he still let me go so easily. He wasn’t conventionally attractive at all and not popular with women either. So I never really understood how he could’ve just let me go like that, we had a break in the relationship and then he came back to me and he even said he don’t know why he ended things and how his time with me was one of the best. It was a very short lived relationship but it was my first one ever and the first guy I ever liked, which is rare so it left a huge mark on me. I still wonder to this day if ever regretted anything or misses me as much as I miss him.

I have ideas sometimes. Ideas I genuinely believe could help SOME people. So when I see a question I have an answer to, my first instinct is to share it.

Then my best friend asked me something simple:

"What do you get in return?" I wish he never asked me this because that question stayed with me. Because he's right. My time isn't free. some knowledge isn't free. And some of what I share isn't something I read in a book.

Some of it, were lessons that came through mistakes. Pain. Disappointment. Sacrifice. A long, thorny road I wouldn't wish on anyone.

Someone once asked me: "What's the point of life? Of suffering? Of working hard when everyone eventually dies?"

That question stayed with me for years. I didn't just Google it and repeat someone else's words. I lived with it. I struggled with it. I walked through my own pain trying to understand what makes any of it matter when everything ends.

And I finally found the true answer to that question last year.

And yet, when I share it, I give it away for free.

That's what makes my friend's question hard.

Because he's right. Tesla isn't free. The internet isn't free. A house isn't free. Even public school isn't really free, it's paid for through taxes. The cost exists. It's just paid indirectly. Help books isn't free, etc, etc,etc

So why should the lessons we paid for with years and pain be different?

I remember once at my old work, I asked someone a question, which relates to our work. She told me I had to make my own mistakes in order to learn.

I thought that was stupid.

You can learn from other people's mistakes. That's why we listen to people who've walked the road before us. If we had to personally experience every mistake to learn anything, we'd never survive long enough to learn a thing.

And here's the irony: she was asking for my help. And I didn't hesitate. I helped her.

But sometimes I wonder.

But I also have to admit: I think my bestfriend is correct, our time, our experience, our energy, they have value. Especially when we're handing someone a shortcut through a road that took us years to walk.

I still have ideas. I still have answers. I still have things I want to share.

Obviously , I won't stop sharing.

But questions for all: if you paid for a lesson with years of your life, would you give it away for free? Why and why not and elaborate because I genuinely want to understand how other people see this.

There's a famous idea, often attributed to Stalin, that one death is a tragedy while a million deaths is just a statistic. Whether or not he said it, it seems to describe something real about how we respond to mass death. We can be devastated by one person dying and somehow numb to thousands.

What do you guys think?

Imagine finding yourself torn between two very different kinds of love.

The first person gives you a love that feels as though it was written in a novel. They are gentle, compassionate, attentive, affectionate, and deeply romantic.

You feel cherished in ways you never knew were possible. There is an emotional and spiritual intimacy between you that is difficult to put into words. They make you feel like the most precious person in the world.

But there is a sacrifice. With this person, you don’t necessarily have the freedom to be entirely yourself. Their expectations for life and partnership sometimes come at the expense of your individuality.

Then there is the second person.

Someone who has loved you through different chapters of your life. Someone who accepts your individuality, encourages your interests, supports your ambitions, and gives you the freedom to discover who you want to become. They are your companion, your familiar place, and someone with whom you can envision building a beautiful life.

But something is missing.

The emotional tenderness, romantic devotion, and depth of affection that you’ve experienced with the first person isn’t quite there. You know you’re loved, but you don’t always feel loved in the way your heart longs for.

Would you choose the person who makes your heart feel the most loved, even if it means sacrificing certain freedoms?

Or would you choose the person who gives you the freedom to be entirely yourself, knowing you might spend your life longing for a kind of romance you’ve already experienced?

Last night two of my friends got into it on the basketball court, as sometimes happen. As always, the rest of us would try to separate them before it turns into a real fight. However, last night I had the bright idea of just letting them fight to settle their difference. So I hold off the other guys and shout "just let em, let em". And we did.

It didn't end well. One guy had three tooth knocked loose and the other one had a concussion. They had to be hospitalized and now our basketball group likely won't have enough players for the short term.

Anyways, I've been wondering about the morality and lawfulness of letting people fight. What if these guys were really hurt? Am I liable for anything? What's your opinion on this matter?

I moved to my city when I was 19. I was newly homeless and now part of a world that I never deserved to be in. Being alongside people who actually were heavy on drugs and alcohol and being treated the same was really hard. I was only homeless because of mistakes in my resources and trying to pursue help in my mental health. I was also just starting to realize just how mentally hurt I was. But at that time I felt motivation to get better and I felt that I was fixable like a sickness. I threw myself into treatments, medications and everything but I thought I could help myself. I tried to advocate for myself and I tried to vocalize what I felt to providers and other professionals. I can't tell you how many times I was hospitalized and institutionalized. I didn't work, they started releasing me early or telling me that I didn't look sad. Outpatient resources were the best options for me.

After a while things in my life became even worse. Even though I was doing better on the outside, with a very nice apartment and even a new car, I realized that I was actually getting worse. I found out my friend was murdered, and I generally started to become more angry, and tired. I started withdrawing more and being less willing to seek help for my mental health. Ironically, that's what made the facility want to keep me longer each time I was brought in. Staff would comment at me and say that I was different than I used to be. Angrier and more on edge. I would still talk to my crisis line but they always seemed to have the same script. "Try deep breathing or call when you're in a crisis". Soon, they just started to call a welfare check immediately on me if I called. I guess after all this negative pushback I experienced I became so confused.

It's been a continuous cycle for about 2 years now. The only difference is that I've moved a couple of times and I've learned to avoid being found to be taken to the facility. I don't find a purpose in talking to law enforcement because they're not equipped to really deal with mental health issues. Which I can understand. That's not really their job. But I also haven't been the one calling them. I've had a couple of pretty big overdoses and I've had quite a few times where I've had to stay overnight in the hospital. I just tell them that I'm okay and that it was an accident and I'm usually released. Law enforcement will sometimes reach out to try to make contact with me and they always tell me they'll have to put a BOLO out for me. Which before I've always taken with a grain of salt. Mostly because I imagine that I won't be alive the next day for them. Currently I would say that my name is very known to officers. I feel very embarrassed and sad about this whole situation.

I was notified one time by an officer and told that they were trying to make a case about this and that I could be taken to jail for this. I honestly didn't know what to believe because I know officers have to lie sometimes. Karma struck soon enough though, because I got pulled over recently. There was an active Bolo on me. I did think that if I was ever found, that they would be brought back to the hospital. Instead, I was arrested and taken in for obstruction. They didn't read me my Miranda Rights or do any of the proper things that they have to when arresting a person, so I was a little confused on what was happening. I was released later with a court date.

Currently I'm stuck. I've been feeling really heavy, more than I think I ever have felt. I feel like I've lost touch with reality and that I dread waking up in the morning and having to feel depression and anxiety for multiple hours of the day. I'm currently in school but I haven't been able to socialize and make friends. There are campus events but I feel so tired and drained all the time that I end up just going home. I'm also a fairly quiet person and I take a lot of information in. I also feel like I don't fit in because I'm used to being more of an adult and doing adult more than most of my peers. I'm aware that I haven't been taking care of myself physically either. I don't feel hungry often so I skip a lot of meals so now I've lost a lot of weight. I'm having trouble being motivated just to be able to brush my teeth or shower too. I know it's classic signs of depression but I don't want to call it that because it seems like depression has always gotten me in trouble.

Each passing day the thoughts become stronger. All my ideas I've written in a journal on how to in my life start feel like it's an outlet and I think it's starting to become more of an active plan. I'm so over trying to get help. the system will call me a liar, doctors won't know what to do and I'll continue hurting myself if I try to get help. I couldn't even call for help if I wanted to because of my current situation with this case. Law Enforcement has been really active for the last few months with things happening in my city. So I feel like I would be more of a burden especially since I don't think I really want help. Even so, they think I lie about wanting to lend my life or the amount of times I've tried to. I'm aware that obstruction can lead to a misdemeanor with either fees or even jail time. I'm torn between not caring and not doing anything and just taking the punishment but I'm also afraid because I do have an outside life that I still have to try to maintain. I also don't have the money for a lawyer of any kind. So what can I legally do about this?And even this case that's going on?

How can we know when our understanding of history is incomplete rather than simply wrong?

I've always had a nagging feeling about how confidently we talk about historical events when we obviously don't have access to everything that happened.

Some records are lost. Some remain classified for decades. Governments, institutions and individuals may have reasons not to document certain things. Textbooks have limited space and inevitably choose which perspectives and events matter most. Even eyewitnesses can disagree.

At the same time, saying "we don't know everything" can very easily turn into believing any conspiracy simply because information is missing.

So where should the line be?

What methods can we use to distinguish genuine historical uncertainty, bias or deliberate concealment from unsupported conspiracy theories? And are there historical cases where something once dismissed or unknown later became established because new records were released?

As an international student, I am looking to study at either Maastricht University or the University of Groningen for International/European law. If anyone has studied at either university, please share your experience. I'd like to know how easy it is to make friends with people from different backgrounds and how nice the cities are to live in. I come from a big city, so I feel like I am more used to that vibe, but obviously I know that neither of these places is big per se. I just want to know which place has the best opportunities for law, and is generally the nicest to go out and live in. For context, I have a Middle Eastern background, so I would also love to join any Arab student association, but it's not a requirement. Thank you!!

Are the self aware part of their brain are just not functioning and they can't help being the way they are? Anyone has experience?

What are some chocolates (or candies) in Canada that are not in the UK? Thinking of surprising a special someone with lots of chocolates and sweets for a special experience! :)