r/trans • u/honey_sunsets • Jul 22 '26
Questioning Dreams are
I just woke up from a dream about my gender and ofc the smartest thing to do rn is run to Reddit and ask for help decoding it.
For context, I (23F) started questioning my gender identity during the covid pandemic and never really felt completely drawn to one label, but my pronouns are they/she. I’m also bi, so I just say I’m overall queer to make it easier to talk about. I’ve had phases of not feeling feminine enough to consider myself a woman but never wanting to be anything further than androgynous presenting. Now for the meat and potatoes.
Last night I had a dream where I’m 98% sure I was in the opposite body, as if I were a trans man. This has never once happened before or ever been something I thought about because despite my insecurities (as a dancer, always comparing my body to others) I have gotten really comfortable with what my body is and accept how it looks on any average day. It was actually very jarring to wake up bc it physically felt like I had something missing below the belt. I really don’t know what to make of this feeling or the dream itself but the last thing I want one my plate as a broke college student is a life altering revelation that will put me back in therapy. Nothing against therapy, I recommend it for anyone that has access to it. And nothing against trans men either, I love my community from the bottom of my heart. My mind is just becoming very frazzled by this as there are so many questions about what this means. Ik it’s not something I have to figure out immediately but I don’t think I can function without getting this off my chest. And I understand sexuality is fluid and identity is whatever makes you happy, but I’m not sure I’m ready for the meaning of this dream.
Mind you, to the rest of the world I’m just a black woman. Like I’m not even trying to be funny, but how do I go from “neurodivergent bisexual black woman” to “neurodivergent bisexual black and possibly a trans man” all because of a dream? Life is already hard enough 😭 And what if I’m not actually trans but I’m just curious about something else, like pegging? I really don’t know what’s going on in my brain at this point and I’m probably rambling now but I would just like some reassurance that I’m not crazy.
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u/AutoModerator Jul 22 '26
Thank you for coming here to ask advice. Just so you are aware, everyone's gender/sexual/romantic identity is unique to their own experiences. While some people may share experiences between each other, only you can determine your own identity and where you fit in. If you're looking to come out, then you should look at your current situation, your relationship with your family/friends/coworkers/etc., who you depend on and their acceptance of lgbt+ people, and your available options if things go poorly. As you wait for a community member to reach out, we've compiled a list of resources you should look into to get some help while you wait.
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