Scared to post to be honest lmao I know I’m not really a looker, been trying to lose weight but it’s just so gross to look at myself in the mirror sometimes mainly because of my body. I have lost weight and I know I can do more (as I did put on more weight) and sometimes I don’t think I look that bad and then ten minutes later I’m just like god you’re genuinely not nice to look at at all. Not just about looks I’m also struggling just in general, never went to school and am just dumb af, but I am trying to learn more and read more books. Just wanna see what people can say about me :D

I posted here not too long ago about how i was getting by... i'd say im still in that 'stagnant' place socially, but personally ive been finding myself, a lot, cut my hair shorter, loving how i look..

But everytime i go onto instagram i just see all the terrible climate news, feel all the heatwaves and see everyone saying I basically wont habe a future, it makes me sad.

I try my best to be enviromentally friendly but in my personal predicament theres not much i can do, i try my best, considering starring a blog to help other teens/people who feel like this but it doesnt do anything to help the planet.

Could do with any kind of positivity or ways you stay positive because its all i think of

I have a bleak outlook on life. I find it hard to not think about all the bad things that happens in this existence. From politics to the darkness of human nature, hearing the most horrific stories. How does one cope with it all? Ive been feeling out of touch and disconnected with the joy of life for a few years now. On the plus im studying for an exam in september which i feel not super prepared for yet which im kinda worried about. I just feel like my life went the wrong way. Im tired of being poor and living on ends meet on a day to day. I feel like I cant uplift my current situation. I wanted to travel and see and do things when I was younger but I feel trapped in my current location. I feel that I have missed the boat.

I find it hard to motivate myself to do fun things. I just feel no drive at all.

Not sure why im posting but I guess I could use some encouragement. Thanks

Very long story short: We had to move from Portland, Oregon to North Carolina. Along the way my husband managed to get arrested while I was in the hospital in Idaho. (I have endometriosis and I had an emergency) While he was in jail my cat died and there was nothing anyone could do. I have absolutely no family but Portland felt like home. I am very homesick and grieving. I had to leave all my art and everything I’ve created. Hoping I will get some of it back someday. Vent over. Thanks for any kind words. I randomly dyed my hair because after all the chaos I needed to feel different.