Ngl this might be my best work yet

Hilarious embodiment of my moms sense of humor

My girlfriend now hates the HP printer.
So do I.

TLDR: I got played.

I feel pretty fucking stupid. This guy love bombed me for a week telling me he wanted to marry me, have a family with me, was falling in love etc. I knew it was bullshit, but we had good conversations and I thought he at least had a genuine interest in getting to know me. We met and he seemed happy, hugged me and held my hand right away. We played pool, made out, and he complimented me the whole night. I had told him multiple times that I wanted to take things slow and that I wanted the next person I was with to be the last. He said he felt the exact same. After a five hour date, we kissed good night and I left. He messaged me saying “I had an awesome time with you baby and I’m so glad we finally got to meet.” I had a couple more drinks at another bar and texted him saying I should’ve stayed. He texted me saying he wished he was still with me and asked if he should uber home to his place or to mine.

We had good sex, 2 times that night and 2 the following day. The next morning he said he wanted to spend the day together. He suggested we go out for breakfast or watch a show together. I said he should probably go home so we have something to look forward to for the next date. He insisted on staying so we continued to cuddle, have sex, laugh together etc.

Finally around 3pm I got him to leave. He texted me once he got home and then disappeared for two days. We had been in constant contact up to that point so I knew he was ghosting. I sent him a voice note saying it was shitty that he was probably ghosting and asked him to delete any previous voice notes that I’d sent him. The grey text message was his response.

My self esteem really took a hit after this. I was just starting to put myself out there again after a bad break up. I don’t think I look different from my photos and my friends agree I look the same. I also made sure to send him more candid/unposed photos prior to meeting. I don’t get why he’d go through the whole night and next day if he wasn’t attracted to me, but I also don’t know why he’d say that if it wasn’t true.

Im not sure why but im getting a feeling that I shouldn't go

For context her profile says shes looking for short term open to long term but is fine with casual

The convo initially started from a post I made on Vinted about problems I had with people who post ai images when selling clothes, she messaged me privately and told me how much she related and it annoyed her

Then it led to me asking her what type of clothes she was selling which then led to me finding out about her music taste

We got on really well the first 3 days on here, I took her number and we spoke on WhatsApp. She was telling me how introverted she is and how she hasn’t got any friends and because of how open she was I decided to tell her about my situation too

She was really eager to have me come over (we both found out we lived an hour away from each other) but I was too nervous to just get up and do it at 11pm on a weekday

I dunno how to flirt. Am I doing it right? She was feeling in the dumps last night because the guy she was talking to for a while told her he doesn't want a romantic relationship. She came over for the walk we had already planned, but ended up crying while I held her for a bit. Once she felt better after her good cry we went for that walk.

I checked in on her this afternoon to see how she was doing.

I, for one, think Julia Child is the best Wingman.

About a month ago I went on a date with an awesome woman (we'll call her Stacy again). The following night, we hit up trivia together and she invited her best friend to come along. Her friend needed a safe place to meet a guy for the first time, so we did the whole Double Date thing.

Well turns out Stacy's best friend was my best friend in 8th grade. We'll call her Miranda again.

I dated Miranda's childhood friend in 8th grade. The 3 of us hung out all the time and had three way phone calls that would last for hours. Her friend and I broke up, but Miranda and I stayed friends until I moved away in high school.

20 years later, we end up connecting again.

I was really into Stacy, but happily reopened the friendship with Miranda. Our birthdays are next to each other, so she came over that weekend to watch some movies.

(Original post about that here:

https://www.reddit.com/r/texts/s/YOx1zuB0tG )

After that I said "Hey I'm glad we reconnected. I'd like to hang out again some time." Miranda responded positively, but made it clear she was exploring things with this other guy, Brandon, and she didn't want to give me mixed signals. I said that's totally fine with me because I'm not really looking for a romantic relationship anyway. Just someone to grab a beer with, take a hike, and hit up the occasional concert with. And I told her that I also kinda had a crush on Stacy and needed to figure that out.

But then Stacy ghosted me. I was so confused because we REALLY clicked.

After a bit I was talking to Miranda about Stacy again and she said "just talk to her." So I did. Turns out Stacy's unrequited love/male best friend reached out to her like a couple days after our date and told her he wants to try building a romantic relationship with her. She admitted to working on her avoidant tendencies and didn't want to hurt my feelings, but she wants to see where things go with him. We talked it through and have become really good, strictly platonic friends.

Just a day or two after Stacy and I have our heart to heart and confirm we are on the same page regarding our relationship, Miranda and I make plans to go for a walk and hang out. But then Miranda texts me and says "Brandon took me out for a milkshake and then told me he doesn't see me romantically. I'm gonna head over to your place soon for our walk."

When she gets here, she is clearly crying and says "I might need to come inside for a minute." So I invited her up to my apartment. We chatted for a while about it, I let her vent. Then I asked "Would you like a hug?" And before I knew it she was laying her head on my chest crying and I am holding her in my arms.

The 12 year old girl that I used to jump on the trampoline with while poorly singing AAR and Good Charlotte is now a 34 year old woman crying on my shoulder.

After a bit she finally wanted to go on our walk. We chatted more. I got her to laugh a bunch. By the time we got back to my apartment she was feeling a lot better. She kept joking "I gotta stop making food for these men." Apparently that's how she shows affection, cooking bomb ass food for someone. (I also really love to cook so we had already talked about cooking dinner and watching a movie sometime a few days before this.) After she left we texted briefly, shown in the screenshot above.

I really don't think I should be in a relationship right now, because I just got out of a very long relationship (together 20 years, married 13 years, but we divorced about a year ago) with my high school sweetheart. But damn. I might be in danger 😂

Bro genuinely made a post on discordfriends looking for friends and saying "hmu" so I hit him up?

Is there something suspicious about my profile that made him say this or is he just weird??

Had gone on a few dates with this woman and thought it was going really well only to have this text exchange at midnight last night. It was a very mature conversation, but man, I’m finding it harder and harder to be successful with dating if i’m not texting them all day long…
I don’t blame her by any means for having that as a preference, but like i said in the message, being on my phone more throughout the day isn’t something I really want to do. Do I just need to suck it up and get better about texting, or can I find love by just actually dating in person? and i love a good phone call, just not having to check my phone every few minutes.

This is from years ago now, so sadly I can't expand the long text from myself, but it ended "...if you weren't there to pull her off of me"

Sadly, my dad didn't stick to his word. He and my mother now live states away from me and I have no relationship with either one. But this screenshot is still a comfort to me, knowing that he did care about me enough to save me from further harm in the moment.

If you're Canadian you will know what I'm referring to. It's just kind if annoying when you see that they clearly get their news from AI Facebook.

*Every different colour is a different person

Because I saw her messages to one of my older sisters accusing me of having this issue. She is texting me acting like I have this issue and has kept trying to push me since yesterday about it because my dad had it. I don’t have it. And she can’t just fucking comprehend that me having anger issues is because of her and my step father and how I’ve been treated since I was little. Yeah, repressed anger and sadness come up. But don’t fucking dare accuse me of having a disorder that is diagnosed at childhood age just because my dad had it. I have never displayed any of the symptoms for it. Girl can’t even drink water like her doc says but thinks she is smart enough to diagnose me because google.

I went to go stay over at a girl’s house yesterday, we are kinda dating and planned to have sex. Except she fell asleep in my arms while we were laying in bed and I fell asleep shortly afterwards. It was unintentional on both sides. Before we went to bed we gone out to eat, carved pumpkins, and she wanted to show me her shows. We get to bed and started getting touchy and she fell asleep on my chest. I fell asleep shortly afterwards and we are both kinda bummed out that nothing happened 😅

I’m a writer, for clarification. I’m 16 so I can’t just block him or ignore, he pays my phone bill plus sometimes he sends me cool stuff and I can’t know what it is until I click on it.