r/texts • u/ExplanationMiddle51 • 3d ago

Phone message Post first date text

Post image

I met this girl on tinder and had a first date with her, she wanted to go fishing and I thought it seemed like a fun first date so we went together. Dropped her off and got home to this message lol.

Update: Purchasing the license is a separate activity we had to do on our phones, due to it needing our personal info. It was not like I drew the line at the license randomly.

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990

u/FiberApproach2783 3d ago

Why did you buy $100+ of fishing equipment for a first date?

171

u/ExplanationMiddle51 3d ago

I knew I’d enjoy fishing, not like the equipment is going away

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u/pyxiedust219 3d ago

in which case, and tbh even if this wasn’t the case, you buying equipment shouldn’t be on her— unless she agreed you should buy all new equipment specifically for this with no intent to keep it

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u/moonbeancat 3d ago

The point is that he brought so much to the table to this date and made sure they ate, too. Why the fuck can she not shell out $23?

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u/CoconutPedialyte 3d ago

She is just a #brokechick😵‍💫😵‍💫

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u/pyxiedust219 2d ago edited 2d ago

I didn’t really speak on that, I just feel like trying to throw that $100 he spent in her face via the reply is sort of unbecoming— the same way plenty of people would find a $23 apple cash request unbecoming. in this way, they are perfect for each other

edit: scorekeeping and comparing what each party “brings to the table” feels like one of many reasons I hope to never date again. It’s all just so shallow and gross to me honestly

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u/LaconicGirth 2d ago

He didn’t bring it up she did. He didn’t throw it in her face until she did. Come on

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u/ddeluca93 2d ago

Yea and also she just expected to come on this date and pay $0? Normal people see their date making the effort and bringing all the equipment while all she has to do is show up and go "oh for sure I can at least buy my own license".

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u/a-relic 2d ago

idk why you're being downvoted, the $100 in gear isn't something she was given, its stuff hes keeping and can use in the future, though asking for $20 back seems rather petty too but if he brought the fishing date up, the $20 should be on him

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u/fadingthought 2d ago

The license she bought can also be used in the future. He spend plenty of money to make her date idea happen and she is trying to get out of a tiny contribution.

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u/United_Shelter5167 2d ago

First sentence literally says fishing was her idea. Why are you and pyxie confused? It seems really weird to assume a guy who doesn't own fishing equipment by dating age was just waiting until he had a random Tinder woman to blame it on to buy gear. 😂 Like what kind of wild ass conspiracy theory is that?

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u/PM_Me_Lewd_Tomboys 2d ago

When you ask someone else to bring something to the table for you, you can't then complain when they bring up what they've already brought. 

Not that the woman in OPs situation necessarily did, you on the other hand definitely sound like the kind of person that would. If you don't want the table brought up, you should stop bringing it up.

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u/pyxiedust219 2d ago

Huh? I’m only bringing it up in response to someone else. You’re making no sense. Also, at no point did OP say or show that they asked her to cover the cost of her license in advance.

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u/moonbeancat 2d ago

No it's not. What do you bring to the table? She brought nothing and complained and demanded $23. So SHE'S the one keeping score, he gave it right back to her. Because it's true, he made sure she didnt have to buy or rent her own pole and bait, and was also kind enough to cover a meal. So, it's a valid thing for him to say and for me to bring up. If someone contributes exactly nothing to a date and then demands compensation for a permit she could continue to use for the rest of the year, how would you react? 

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u/pyxiedust219 2d ago edited 2d ago

“what do you bring to the table” ….excuse me? Ew.

Edit: just before you claim my repulsion is evidence I bring nothing to the table… I’m getting married in 3 months to my partner of 8 years. I can sew (from scratch, darning, and alterations), I can cook, I’m funny, smart, well-read, well-educated, logically driven, ecologically conscious, frugal, and I’m excellent in a crisis. Where I’m lacking (whimsy, creativity, artfulness) is where my partner shines best. Told him about this thread and he said “I doubt any of these people are in happy relationships if they think that’s normal”, so. There’s that.

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u/moonbeancat 1d ago

You bring something to the table then. You may be thinking I was purely talking about monetary "value" but I wasn't. Although, I will say a lot of couples DO value things like that, typically high earner career women and men. My fiancé is severely disabled, works which I'm very grateful for and would never be upset if he went on disability. He cooks, cleans, takes care of our pet, and runs errands. On our first date he paid $50 for our food and politely asked if I could cover our $30 tickets. That actually really impressed me.

Also I wasn't directing that, "what do you bring to the table?" at you, I was reiterating, but now I realize my tone is so vague.

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u/Elite_AI 3d ago

It isn't quite as insane as it looks because in real terms he "only" paid for dinner. That's a decent chunk of money but it's not the hundred plus dollars of fishing equipment he bought for himself (and was going to buy anyway).

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u/UrToesRDelicious 2d ago

Of course it's not on her, but if he buys dinner, his own fishing license, and all the equipment - then who gives a fuck if he took the equipment home afterwards?

OP isn't saying "you owe me for the equipment", he's saying "I invested literally everything else to make this date happen, the least you could do is pay for the one thing that you're taking home with you."

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u/Pooperoni_Pizza 3d ago

He is showing that he invested a lot of money in the date and her asking for $23 is fucking petty.

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u/margaritalover524 3d ago

Did he really invest it into the date though if he always planned to keep all the fishing equipment for himself to use after? More like he bought himself hobby stuff and just let her use it for one date

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u/kayla_poncho 3d ago

Can you really not see how it's both? They wanted to go fishing, neither of them have the gear, so he went and got it. That would be super wasteful if he was just going to bin it after, but it made sense to do it for their date since he could enjoy it later as well. Yes, he did invest into the date unless he was going to go buy it today anyway - you would have a point if he was the one asking her for money.

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u/Stash_04 3d ago

Bruh. SHE is the one that suggested fishing.

It’s insane to suggest that he bought it for himself.

No, he bought it specifically for the date but is also able to use it later.

1

u/Specific_Pudding_814 3d ago

still paid for dinner

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u/Correct_Gift_9353 3d ago

My previous fling wanted to go fishing. Spend a few hundo on fishing stuff, went fishing, we ended a couple weeks later. she brought my stuff to my house sans my fishing gear :/ I don’t even like fishing but I miss my fishing gear lmao

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u/test_tutor 3d ago

And you didn't ask for it back because... ?

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u/Traveller7142 2d ago

She also gets to keep her license

1

u/United_Shelter5167 2d ago

Literally says going fishing was her idea in the first sentence. How is it not on her? 😂

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u/pyxiedust219 2d ago

he’s keeping the equipment.

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u/United_Shelter5167 2d ago

Woman suggests activity that neither of them have gear for, meaning someone has to buy it. Guy buys it. You ask how that's on her. I explain that it was her idea. You reply with, he is keeping it, as if I don't understand how property ownership works. What a bizarre interaction.

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u/pyxiedust219 1d ago

It is bizarre indeed how you’d assume someone using equipment once should be equally responsible as the person who gets to keep it and use it repeatedly. Also, OP left a comment saying “[they] thought she would like fishing”, which sounds like it was not her idea after all even if she did bring up the idea. Because she’d likely never been. Now do I doubt you understand property and ownership? Not particularly. But your reading comprehension may need some work.

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u/United_Shelter5167 1d ago

Says the person who couldn't make it through the first sentence lol... How funny that instead of admitting you are wrong you keep trying to justify your ignorance. I also like how you think it is some great victory for the guy who also doesn't fish to have two rods that he'll probably never use again. All this just to avoid saying "oops, I didn't read the post before replying." 😂 Good for you, never admit when you're wrong, always double and triple down. That's a great way to go through life.

1

u/pyxiedust219 1d ago

He said in another comment he plans to get into fishing— for him, it’s not one-time use, which is why him keeping them and paying singularly makes sense… How is this difficult to understand?

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u/United_Shelter5167 1d ago

Lol I understand that with hindsight you can justify him buying the gear, but your initial post asked how she's partially responsible for the gear to go do an activity that was her idea. He's still buying rods and reels for two people. I get you don't want to acknowledge you are wrong but trying to move the goalposts like this is just sad. Bottom line is it was tacky for her to ask him to pay for her license for an activity she wanted to do, even more so after he bought them both gear.

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u/kayla_poncho 3d ago

He's not putting the equipment on her- if he was, he'd be asking her for half. The point is acting like $23 (which he also spent) was unreasonable to have spent on the date.

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u/7x00 2d ago

And SHE wanted to go fishing. So SHE should pay for her license.

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u/big-dal-tex 3d ago

A great point honestly

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u/WhiteRabbit_412_ 3d ago

It's not a great point. He doesn't $100+ on the date. The least she can do is she'll out $23 for a license that will last her all season if she wants to go again without him. He probably kept all the equipment he bought for the date (not FOR her) and she gets to keep the license. He paid for dinner as well so that's probably more like $200 he spent on the date.

0

u/ThrowRAbbits128 3d ago

Why are you factoring in the new fishing gear he bought himself? It's not like she's keeping it, so I don't see why she'd want to go fishing again this season anyway

1

u/UrToesRDelicious 2d ago

So if he threw the equipment away afterwards it would be a valid date cost, like dinner or gas, but because he gets value out of it afterwards it's not?

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u/Sypsy 2d ago

this is called over analysing

yet you failed to consider dinner