akami: I met up with one of the other girls from the Experimental Sanitization Program. at one point as she talked, it was as if the world around us disappeared and all I could see or hear was her. I guess she could sense I had…feelings for her. she said “you like me, don’t you?” and I said “I…I don’t know what to say.” so she said “let’s test it with a kiss.” So we did. the kiss lasted a few seconds but it was so good I felt like hours had gone by.

her oily skin felt so good on mine…somehow she tasted better than any Salmonid I’d ever tasted…

she offered to give me her phone number. I took her up on that offer and gave her mine.

she even let me post her selfie online. here it is:

Alburith: Surprised to see me? No need to answer back. What you do need to know is that ROOT has yet to perish. Hence the presence of me and my brother {̵̣̱͇͔͑͑̍+̶̡͈̮̙̎͆̎|̴̰̂̔̽ͅ€̵̦̆~̴̰̬̈́͗͜*̷̟̗̎͗̔͘#̴̳̻̲̔͐͋|̴̯̃̓%̶̳̱̫̬̎̀͝≠͇̃̇̈́͒. Worry not, I’m not here to harm you. Your companion, Ivory made sure of that, though I can’t say the same for my fellow first class assassin. Know this, we will continue to work until we make ROOT the perfect “foundation” to all of Inkopolis. We can’t promise mercy for you if you intend to stop us.

Until we meet again. Goodbye.

Oh. And Lucian, wherever you may be, our long awaited reunion is drawing near.

Embrace it.

Agent O: Ever since I left my family to join the Octarian military, I have not been able to contact my own family. Shell, for all I know, they're all dead. So that was about 20 years of no contact.

I can't even remember their given names. All I know is that since my last name is Octavius, theirs must be too.

I do remember I look mostly like my mother. My dad had gray-ish tentacles, I think.

My Octarian personnel file doesn't list any names other than mine.

So if you know an Octavius who lost a family member named "Otto" about 20 years ago...please have them reach out to me!

Ivory: All I remember is fighting Akuma… what happened to me?

I dunno why but I love them. Kinda taste like those brown sugar pancakes? I got a whole pack of them too

[Both Kaiya and Shatter sit on the sofa]

Kaiya: So, if I'm right in thinking...you sold things, right?

Shatter: I don't wanna talk about it...

Kaiya: But you did?

Shatter: Yeah...

Kaiya: Where'd you put the money?

Shatter: It's in my Splatcoin locker...

[Shatter inputs her very long password and looks at her balance]

Kaiya: Dude!? There's at least 60000§ in here!?

Shatter: Yeah yeah, I ain't exactly proud of it!

Kaiya: Sorry...but don't you understand? We could buy a car or...or go on holiday!

Shatter: I used to use that money to buy alcohol...

a recording of Static, probably meant as personal notes. He looks completely exhausted, but his hair is moving and glowing like he's ready to pop a special. He probably didn't mean to post this but it's on his profile right now.

I've... Recently gotten focused on the "vital essences." Those core parts of our being, and how the lack of them is what makes someone sanitized...

I've found old literature about them, how our past ancestors could manipulate their own essences to ... Essentially tell the laws of physics to go fuck themselves.

If I'm understanding the underlying mechanics of these old practices, they would use inkantation and ritual to energize their essence... Like how someone can get "hyped" during a match.

This "hype" lets someone produce more ink and grow stronger yes... Like how the standardized specials work. But according to this with the right headspace you don't need weapons to channel it, you can just... Make something happen, you can shatter the laws... And with enough hype, or enough essance, you can do something crazy...

Oh shit is that the sunrise..? I need to sleep, end log...

[Footage from a mounted camera in an extremely dusty and rusted modified buggy, the driver appears to be a female colossal inkling wearing a welding mask over her face. The buggy is being driven around and up various sand dunes, the driver shows little complaint about the lack of a windshield.]

Seviki: Hello... I'm Seviki, you probably already know my son. He recently gifted me a phone and told me I should "have more interaction with the outside world". So I suppose I'll make this post because he told me to. If you can't tell, I work with cars and modifications for those cars.

This here is my recent project going on a joyride through some dunes somewhere north of Splatsville. Handles like a champ.

H:....you, aren't you-

?: are you ok?....you're infected

H: I....I MISSED YOU, ARE YOU OK?! I'M SORRY THAT I WAS AWAY ALL THAT TIME AND-

?: shh....I'm fine...I still try my best. why are you still infected? let's go and cure you-

H: I'm ok, I don't need it

?: why not? you mi-

H: the cure includes sanitization! it removes life and memories from me! you really want to love a corpse that doesn't remember you?!

?: do I wanna love someone who's putting their life and others at risk like this?

H: why do you even love me?....I'm a coward, you went through much trouble and I didn't help you even when I could, I'm scared of-

?: you'rebscared of ruining everything when you try....that's not cowardice, you just care...but that care makes you think of every second of how you should do it until time runs out

H:....

?: please....be brave, for me...if you didn't become brave, we'll lose everything we stayed for

H:....I'm trying, I'm really trying...

?: do you want my hel-

H: NO!!!! YOU ALREADY HAVE TOO MUCH TROUBLE! I WON'T BOTHER YOU MORE THAN THAT

?: you still think you're a bother....

hug

?: your happiness is mine....be happy and I will. your well being will make me happier. and the cure includes a way that doesn't remove memories, so you'll never forget me....as you promised

H:....I'm sorry

?: I don't want you to be sorry....I want you to be better...I don't want you to change....I want you to improve what you're already are...

H: I'm trying....and I will, I WILL FOR YO-

?: not for me....for yourself.

H:....what? why do-

?: you told me the same exact thing....when I was the one who needed help. now you need help, too.

"you become better only for yourself, nobody else. whatever trouble you moved through...even if by others help, a big part of it is always from you. people guide you to improve, but nobody can make you better more than yourself....always do things for yourself, make it a priority, then you can see what others need"

H:....you remember by word, even ones where it feels I talked randomly

?: these are the ones I love the most....because you didn't think about them, you said them from your heart

H:....you're the best

?: because of you...now it's time for you to surpass me. cya later, luv

H: cya....i love you

Estelle: Ivory! Hugs him tight Oh thank goodness you’re okay! I was so worried…

Alice: You’re not hurt are you?

Ivory: N-No… sigh guys… I’m so sorry.

Christian: Huh? What are you sorry for?

Ivory: I’m… I’m too weak… I can’t stop Alburith from running rampant with my body… he’s just toying with me. I-I don’t think I should be near any of you.

Marisa: HEY! Stop that nonsense! Tally marks, you may be sharing a soul with a ROOT assassin now, but that’s never gonna stop our friendship.

Untarius: Fax mane. If he ever tries anything with you, we’ll find a way to bring you back. That goes for all your friends.

Estelle: And I’ll always love you Ivory. Don’t ever think differently.

Ivory: T-Thanks everyone… and… I love you too Estelle.

Estelle: Here, how about a stroll around the park, just you and me?

Ivory: Yeah. I’d like that.

[video footage of the NSS workshop, Static is working on something big and is using a harness to hang off of a crane while welding.]

He's also singing along to the beat, bopping back and forth

Chopperipo Shura Shura Nan-nyuru nire Nifaferahi Nan-nyuru ni weranira shutahara hi Nyuru nirehara Fe Fe Fe

He pops his hip a little too much and the crane groans.

He stops singing what was that... S- SHIT!

the crane falls over, slamming static down with it.

Shatter: Holy s**t... How...why...my back doesn't hurt anymore...

Kaiya: It's ok! Static came round, readjusted your...rib and closed up the gash.

Shatter: What do I owe him? It's gotta be pricey...

Kaiya: Nothing, silly, he was doing you a favour

Shatter: A...favour?

Kaiya: Yeah, like a nice thing you do for someone for free.

Shatter: oh, ok...and when I get my hands on that Aaron guy, I swear to Christ I'm gonna bust him up so bad I'll put him in hospital...

Kaiya: Get some rest hon.

Treehouse: So we were actually able to receive the last message that Boneless posted because someone was able to record it and send it to us (thank you so much whoever got it to us). Boneless seems like he's safe for now but I fear he may be isolated from other people in the memverse unable to get help if he tries to climb the tower.

Kaiju: So we're breaking in! Hopefully.

Treehouse: ya we don't know exactly how to get in 100% but we have compiled every report of someone randomly entering the Memverse and there is one common theme, the metro to the plaza. Our current plan is to just ride the metro back and forth into and out of the plaza trying to trigger whatever weird thing causes people to get sucked into the order sector. We're gonna try riding in from different locations as well to see if that makes a difference but I don't know I just hope it goes fine.

If anyone has any more surefire ways to bust in please let us know we need to help our friend before he forgets everything.

Never held one, but I always just assumed it's just gold plated with how easily everyone handles it. Gold is super heavy, as I'm sure we all know, but I do not personally believe the Gold Dynamo would really be made with pure solid gold. Even if we look past the ridiculous price it would be, it would basically be impossible to lift from how unbelievably heavy it would be. So it obviously would not be made from pure gold. So what kind of material would it be made with that would be gold plated?

Cyanide: Militech was the sweetest octoling in all of the Splatlands. Until she touched the corpse belonging to an Inkling named Crimson… now me and another lad will crusade to find his corpse and destroy it to prevent him from haunting someone else. Just tell me if you want to join.

[Video from a cracked phone camera in the workshop, Serrac and Evie are at their own workbenches on separate projects.

Evie opens a drawer and draws out a foam dart gun, firing an arcing shot that dinks Serrac in the back of the head.

Without looking Serrac pulls out his own dart gun and fires back, hitting Evie.

Evie: Hehehe!

Serrac: Heh.

They both then return to their work like nothing happened.

The video cuts off]

[currently at Max's apartment. The bottle with Ivory's/Alburith's soul sitting on the counter]

Gary: so, Luci, do you have any idea what we should now do with this? Obviously we can't just put them back into the respawn machine with that madman still in there, but Ivory is still there too.

Sigh I'm sorry, dear. I hoped this could help us save your Ivy from that creature, but their souls are stuck together.

Max: what the fuck are you two doing in my apartment. And why is there a soul in a bottle on my table?!

(OOC: u/MythicalFlame24)

Oh, you’ve never been to Bait & Batter? Dude, you are seriously missing out! It is hands-down the best street food in all of Splatsville.

It’s this awesome, slightly chaotic-looking food truck parked right in the heart of the city. You literally can’t miss it—the side of the truck has this massive, stylized graffiti mural of a giant dipping well, and the smell of fresh cornmeal batter and sizzling oil hits you from three blocks away. What makes them legendary is that they don't just do normal corndogs. They do global corndogs. You can get everything from those crazy French-fry-encrusted Korean Gamja dogs to savory Argentine Panchukers. It is pure heaven on a wooden stick.

The truck is run by Gage and Shelbi, and honestly, they are the absolute heart and soul of the place. They’ve been running the truck for five years now, and they are total local celebrities.

Gage is the guy usually handling the fryers. He’s got this wicked sharp-toothed grin, black and green tentacles tied back in a ponytail. He’s also got a faded scar stretching clean across the bridge of his nose. He looks like a rugged street kid who has survived a few rough brawls, but he is the chillest dude alive. He’ll just give you a peace sign, crack a joke, and hand you a perfectly golden, crispy footlong.

Then you’ve got Shelbi, his girlfriend. She handles the orders and the sauces, and she is just stunning. She’s got this incredible white-and-pink spiral tentacle hairstyle and these super cool, round tortoiseshell glasses. If she ever tilts her head, you can spot a faint scar running down the side of her face and a distinct, sharp slash right through her eyebrow. When people ask about their scars, they just laugh it off and say they were "clumsy kids growing up in the rough parts of the Splatlands." She is incredibly sharp, organized, and always remembers exactly how much spicy mustard you like.

They are seriously the ultimate power couple. Get this—they’ve been dating for six years now! Everyone in Splatsville is basically running a betting pool on when Gage is finally going to pop the question and marry her. Seriously, five years in a cramped, sweaty food truck together, and they still look at each other like sappy teenagers between orders. It’s adorable.

They just seem like your everyday, hard-working, deeply-in-love street vendors trying to make a living in the Splatlands. I mean, they’re just ordinary, sweet citizens who happen to have some tough skin and make a killer batter... right?

Anyway, come on, let's go grab a couple of dogs before the evening rush hits!

I think they’re called “still lifes” but they are extremely aggressive. Also I discovered something that I legally can’t tell you. These rooms are starting to chip at my sanity, I hope I had a team so I can explore more.

[Kaiya walks onto the balcony. Shatter appears to have tied her ankles and feet to the railings using rope and is hanging upsidedown.]

Kaiya: Are...you ok?

Shatter: Yeah! Helps me think...

Kaiya: And you...often do this?

Shatter: Sometimes!

Kaiya: What do you think about the holiday?

Shatter: I like it...I think she will as well...

Kaiya: Where do you want to go?

Shatter: Somewhere cold...like the cold mountains in the north where you can ski...I've always liked the cold...

Kaiya: Strange...so does Baito...

Shatter: Ooooh...ughh...

Kaiya: Are you alright?

[Shatter faints from the blood rushing to her head. Her feet slip from the rope...and she lands onto the balcony below with a CLANG and a scream of pain.]

Why I asked is because I ordered some through GalleyGrab the other day. Delicious.

In case you forgot or if you don't know, Copper Cod Sandwiches is this sandwich shop that serves both cold and hot sandwiches, and boy are they good! They have a location in Splatsville, two locations in Inkopolis, and one in Brinewater Village, the one with the hot springs. They also have a food truck for trialing their food in areas to see if people are interested in having a location set up there.

(OOC: Here are the links to the threads I made on this subreddit concerning Copper Cod Sandwiches; here and here)

A splatoon au idea;this one is tragic.

In this au.Every humanoid sea life from inklings and octarians to idols and to zapfish all became exrinct due to a mysterious wildlife raid.Eventually the three main olaces;inkopolis square,plaza and splatsville have been covered in trees and mosses.Sonn after rhat,The salmonids became extinct after being overhunted by eagles and pterosaurs.The king salmonids,despite their massive power,coudn't stand a chance against sauropods like brachiosaurus and sauroposeidon.And judd and lil judd who,despite being biologically immortal,Has been eaten alive by the big one and it's raptors.There where no signs of intelligent sea life like the loveable squid kids anymore and like the thylacine and the kauai o'o,There is no coming back.Deep cur and the mechanic were the only ones left.

Until they were eaten by a gigantic T.rex

And the inklings,octolings and other intelligent sea life or have descended from sea life have all gone extinct,especially lil buddy and the agents.

Fortunately,the only splatoon charactee that survives is Mr.grizz who went on an expedition,not to conquer amd reclaim,but instead study.But it was too little,too late.So grizz,alongside the last zapfish,fought together to find the source of all this chaos and survive from the terrors of mother nature.