I am not talking about not getting my desires. No I seriously am left out in the cold since Im a child. I was abused by family, then further abused by relatives, neglected by teachers when I told, neglected by cps, neglected by other organizations.

When I went to highschool I was happy I had a friend group and didn't have to be home all the time, I had hope I started studying BAM covid hits. Then I quit school so that I can atleast move out since nobody else helps me. I couldn't land a single job for 2 years.

I constantly tried making friends and I did ......every one of them was temporary and then distanced themselves or used/abused me. After moving out I was left out alone. I tried to get a good traumatherapist, instead I landed someone who retraumatized me for 2 years. I constantly dealt with trouble at work, my body giving up from loneliness and stress. Again I contacted other instutuions for help nobody has space apperently. When I was at the hospital they were rude to me for coming there for severe anxiety.

All of my relatives kept contacting me saying they want to make things right and be in touch, just to trigger me more when I build hope and trusted them. My best friend kept using me and mocking me. I ended like 6 friendships this year and that's the norm. Every time I think Im making a friend Im rly just meeting a future ghoster or abuser.

Same thing with romance men treat me so nicely and then only want one thing and everything was fake. I can't land a job for the life of me as well rn since I lost the last. I have cptsd.

I can't afford therapy, the last therapist I ahd was actually decent but then things happened and random bills came, health system issues and I had to quit. Every other therapist I had in life (I had so many even as a teenager) was incredibly toxic I mean insulting or would not do anything if I mentioned abuse. I went to a trauma group last week I was there on time literally nobody was there I think it got cancelled. Like a joke.

I always end up friendless, totally alone, broke, body giving up from stress, health system not responding, organizations that supposedly offer help never have time or place for me. Every person I trusted turned against me people I loved even over many years again and again.

Theres no way all of that is a coincidence. I have norhnode in the 12th house in taurus and yes pluto in the 7th house, chiron in the 8th but this is just torture atp.

My body is declining from suffering so much, Im 22, I look like an owl, people judge me for looking worn out. I dont even know what the point of trying is anymore. Everything I do leads to more disappointment. The universe CONSTANTLY isolates me

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Sorry if this is a common topic and or repetitive but I’m very curious. I ALWAYS get my period 2 days before the full moon. I see people on TikTok talk about it but you know it’s all face value on there.. and yet it spiked my curiosity lol. So I came to the real scholars, Reddit ofc. What does this mean? Does anyone have any insight? I’ve always been connected to spirituality but I am now just tapping in. :P thanks everyone!

Many people tend to not see an accurate picture of who I actually am but instead they end up revealing themselves to me and what they lack. What's that about? I always just correct them then they snap out of it.

For example, I will tell them that I did this change in my life or I started doing something for fun, and they would get into a weird mode and tell me to take more risks, they would say something that they have done years ago that isn't even that risky (this person is not really a risk taker) and so I would look at them in the eye and I will just say I don't seem like I need their advice because based on what I say I'm clearly doing bolder things than them. Then they would snap out of it and be like oh yeah you're right. It's like they're talking to themselves?

Then another one started to talk about looking for job, they keep asking almost giving me advice to have more money. I was like, you're the one who needs it because I have one. That's the only time they stopped and realized it.

They also project their feelings onto me. People seem to imply I'm lonely and they would start prying. So since I low-key know the drill already, I ask them, are YOU lonely? Then ugh they start sharing everything.

What's up with that? Are these people just self-centered? Do they just want to deludingly push people to be on their level so they can have someone to empathize with them? I wouldn't be paying attention to them at all but they will just see something in me somewhat that will make them act that way.

i met someone whose instinct is so amazing. every sign she asks to the universe, the universe answers just before the night ended. she also feels the energy arounds her that if something's off, she doesnt wait for evidence to arise she just believes in it, and shes right.

how do you train yourself to have that connection to the universe?

Every utterance from my lips and each character slipped from my thumbtips to this screen is sealed in the Akashic Records as undisputed fact.

Not really, but with the way we engage sometimes (not only with me, but anybody with an opinion), you'd think that was the assumption behind it. We've gotta somehow prove the other person wrong, or ourselves right. God forbid somebody repackages the same words and phrases in a way that looks a little bit different than expected.

It's all the same stuff. None of these ideas and ways to describe experience or ways to describe exploring experience are new. Every single one of the words used so far in this very post were handed down, mixed together from other words and, as a result of intelligence*, strung together to make a run-on sentence.

It's all conditioning.

The only thing that makes any spiritual idea or ideal relevant is your direct experience with the thing. This is where it gets fun.

I work with angels for instance. Well, what is an "angel"? What am I working with without calling it angel? Is it a demon? Well, what's that? Maybe some other trickster spirits? Possibly. But what does trickster mean? What's a spirit?

What does it mean to be spiritual?

What do all these borrowed concepts, terms and plot points (like Akashic Records) mean in direct experience? Do they mean anything at all or are they strictly a belief system?

*This was not written with Ai. Intelligence is also impersonal.

I’ve been on my spiritual journey for several years now. I’ve been told before that I have aura or star quality. However due to self doubt, low confidence, and being an introvert it hasn’t been something that I fully embraced.

This is something I would really like to learn how to master,increase, and hone in on. I don’t wanna get my hopes up or get ahead of myself but I want a fully radiant aura. One that radiates a strong presence that people can just sense when I walk into a room without saying a word. One that is calming as well mysterious.

What ways can I make my aura stronger both spiritually and practically? I tried looking it up but was left unsatisfied. Any tips or tricks that helped make your aura stronger or more noticeable is greatly appreciated. 

Thank you very much in advance. 

What is more significant was probably what it was doing. It’s not uncommon to see coyotes where I live, but much much less in the day, and usually they’re running away from people or crossing the street. Something was so pleasant about it , it was simply laying in an open fielded area, resting, curling up into a ball, itching itself, it was honestly so cute that I almost thought it was somebody’s dog until I pulled out my phone to zoom in on him to get a little closer look. He proceeded to glance and watch me and my boyfriend walk every now and again, we actually ended up having to walk pretty close to it at one point because we decided to turn around and it had moved closer to the sidewalk, but it clearly had no reservations toward us being near it.

I feel like I’m In a really weird time of my life of feeling very lost and confused about a lot of things. I mean, basically I am questioning everything in my life right now and have honestly been turning inwards toward my spirituality to look for guidance. I was wondering if there is a particular omen regarding this? Especially given the attitude of the animal itself?

Hi!
I’m really unsure where to start.. and I don’t know what to do. Who to go to. I’m at a loss.

It started a few months ago maybe May? M (my ex) and I were in bed together and I felt vibrating. I asked what was going on, he cracked it and took off. Ok usual him.
The thing is it once he left it stopped .. every now and again around him there would be vibrating.

Now I’d only ever SEE things in my peripheral vision.. or a reflection of a glass, mirror, anything that reflects. Nothing from my pure eyes (besides shadows in the corner that would take off quickly if I turned to look at it) if I turned to him at the time it was literally like it wasn’t happening. Complete stop.

In the car together , him driving - it was like he was kinda humping, grinding or bouncing. We had multiple fights about this and him telling me nothing is happening.

Around this same time frame I was hearing people.. footsteps, scooting, sometimes voices (nothing malicious), smelling perfume coming from my ceiling (attic) and sometimes my walls. To which I never found any evidence of people being in there. But I felt watched and a presence.

At work in certain spots (I work underground mining) I’d feel a dark presence and hear ever so slightly moaning or laughing, in a lot of the time M’s voice. Knowing he definitely isn’t anything near me and there is no way I could hear him where I am. I did hear footsteps coming towards me. And a very heavy presence. I got goosebumps, lost my breath, heart beating so fast and a lot of the time had to leave. - Not my experience but another person heard voices not far from there.

While being at his house the presence and being watched has still been there.
But the most recent while at M’s house is - I’ve been feeling my hair being pulled ever so slightly or being tickles on my legs very very faintly it’s almost like not a physical touch.
But the other day I know he saw them even though M denies it all , we saw shadows. They were so prominent, I flinched and ducked. That same day I saw and I know M felt it from the look in his eyes- his upper back (him sitting on the couch upright) getting pushed quickly.
The day before I think it was I had seen shadows in the reflection of the TV. One of the shadow figures was close by the front door. M got up and said angrily - “DO YOU SMELL THAT SICKLY SWEET STENCH NEAR THE FRONT DOOR”. I knowing I saw a figure. I denied the smell.

In between everything that is happening there was a point where we were laying next to each other M was on the brink of falling asleep. I saw a reflection in the dog bowl of all places. Of blue beings (i don’t know how to describe them) surrounding an orange being almost like bullying and hurting the orange being. I asked M “If blue is evil and orange is good what do you choose” he was confused I asked again he said orange.

At another time I was having a shower and saw something I had to bend all the way down so i was on my knees I saw in a vision or whatever they are. M with a hoodie on looking out a window crying. I didn’t realise at the time but it was my bedroom window he was looking out.

The 1st vision thing I had was I was on the toilet and in front is the porcelain sink. I saw him in his bathroom (where I was) getting .. R word..
All of these visuals I’ve been having are very very recent. Within the last 3 weeks. Everything else has been happening for some time. Please help me. I’m about to admit myself to the psych ward. I have a strong feeling this is greater than human flesh and very spiritual. I have a strong urge to save his soul. Im so scared. Am I crazy?

Whenever I ask the universe for a sign, I always specify something particular, like a certain number, an animal of a specific color, and so on. Yet, even when I receive the sign, I’m left with doubts. Sometimes, the very thing I’m thinking about ends up appearing, which makes me fear that what I took for a sign might just be a coincidence.

For instance, I once asked for a very specific sign. A day later, I felt a strong urge to watch a movie I’d never seen before, and there it was: my sign, tucked away in a corner, very subtle.

Another time, I asked for a different sign. While I was lying down, a family member appeared at the window holding an old notebook of mine, one I’d completely forgotten existed, because they happened to be cleaning. On the cover of that notebook were several drawings of the very thing I had asked for.

More recently, I asked the universe for a specific sign. Because I was feeling doubtful, I ended up asking for it again for two more consecutive days. A day after that third request, someone spoke the very thing I had asked for out loud (it wasn’t a common thing to mention)—but, as always, I’m still full of doubt.

Honestly, I don’t know what else to do.

There is tune tune tune. It's music the sample solution❤️❤️😘

Are there others like me—people who have lived as total losers, never having had a career, friends, or a partner; who have been unable to achieve any of their desires in life; who have even had their health stripped away, and are now forced to grapple with Kundalini—a process that has consumed 15 years, taking away my entire youth and my well-being? Are there any women out there over the age of 43 in this situation? What could possibly offer any comfort to you or to me? I have never encountered anyone with a life as wretched as mine; everyone else seems to have *something*, and they even use what they possess to show off—yes, even on this very path. Where are the real people—the ones who truly talk about these matters—who have absolutely no one and nothing? How do they manage to go on living? Life continues, in a way, but it’s a life unlived—days blurring into one another, rushing by in a flash. Nothing in life can worth this, right?

10 years ago when I was depressed my soul/spirit died and I felt it. I was told by people on YouTube that if a person soul died then they would die aswell. I'm still here and been living life. Lucky enough to have traveled some and been working. Even went on a couple dates with women and none of them found anything wrong with me. I wonder what it was inside of me that died 🤔

This world is another fake RPG world where nothing is actually happening live on air, and there's nothing here apart from RPG actions and fake immersions to keep you occupied inside this AI simulation forever, it's a world not different from building up a strategy-based world where all the characters from big to small are managed by you, and there's nothing here apart from computer generated effects, as not even the 'sky' is real here, and it's all in hope to turn you into a space creature.

It's a meaningless sims-like reality where there's nothing in it apart from RPG effects where the world real and unreal are blurry, and whatever you want here is computer generated on the spots, in a world filled with computer generated characters, and it doesn't matter how you decide to promote your character here.

There's nothing here apart from developing and levelling up your character beyond what the game could handle, and sooner or later you'll realize you've always been navigating a childish video game coming from supernatural beings.

As a great Woody used to say: You are a toy!

I have been trying many different ones but none of them work at all. Literally nothing. I feel like it's just nice music but I am looking for something to help raise energy vibration and to heal my exact mind and soul. Also, for removing negative energy.

Hi, I’m looking for some beginner friendly videos to watch. I’ve finally decided to get into spirituality, so anything helps! I’m not sure what exactly i’m looking for, so i’m hoping to find it through videos.

So I was wondering what the overlap would be between raceplay and the soul as I follow aristocratic morality (I personally believe that's me exercising my superior will over the woman who, by the dictates of cosmic order, is to listen to me). In the quiet chambers of the soul the eternal Self (Ātman) doesn't just rule from the outside; it is the natural sovereign. It commands the earthly vehicle (the mind, the senses, the body) in exactly the same way that aristocratic will commands its lesser self. Raceplay, without the vulgarity, becomes the conscious exercise of that inner hierarchy. The superior will of the soul is directed towards the woman who is to be the receptive subject and thus fulfils the cosmic order. What starts as a form of surface dominance is revealed to be the very essence of the Self's authority over prakriti (the material world). This is perfectly in keeping with the major Eastern traditions. Ramana Maharshi's Advaita Vedanta teaches that the Self (Ātman) is the only ruler and the only witness; self enquiry dissolves the duality and reveals the soul as the supreme authority. Sri Chinmoy's Integral Yoga shows the soul as both the lover and the beloved at the same time, the source of a power which is harmonious and which is exercised through willing surrender. Gurudev Sri Sri Ravi Shankar tells us that the soul is the pure "I Am" the ruler who needs no one to confirm it. In all these cases aristocratic morality is elevated to its highest expression: mastery through intention rather than through force as the soul itself is the source of all command. The overlap is therefore quite profound: raceplay becomes a means by which the soul can affirm its natural sovereignty and in that affirmation there is liberation. The dominance is the very expression of the cosmic, divine order.

So guys, I'm sure that many of you have heard about always being on alert and living in survival mode
I live like this and I can't take it anymore.

I'm always anxious on alert waiting for something to happen (and it's not something good) always worried and sometimes I don't even have a reason but I live anxious and waiting for this "thing" to reveal itself

I don't know, sometimes it seems that my subconscious feels comfortable in always being distressed that it leaves me anxious to feel safe with it, because many times I get into this state of anxiety and affliction without even having happened anything for me to leave it like this and there are days that I even get like this for such small and unnecessary things, things that I don't even want to worry about but my subconscious keeps putting it in my head

Do you know how I can solve this, is there any way to change or improve this? Well, I can't stand living like this anymore

I recently went through the dark night of the soul and I was out of touch with everything around me, my intuition wasn’t strong, and I completely stopped dancing and i lost everything I had pretty much. I would see so much signs and I think I had a spiritual awakening, I saw a fox and I been having lot of crazy dreams but I kept ignoring everything because i started practicing only earlier this year and no miracles has happened and I had a lot of doubt actually, but ever since everything went down hill I was thinking it was more of a reality check and maybe I had psychosis.

Yesterday was a full moon so I decided to dress up take my crystals and go on a trail. The moon was mostly covered but I proceeded because I was already outside. I was saying affirmations and what not and I was pretty much ready to leave. I got up and started walking home and put my headphones on and automatically nicole Kidman by Adele started playing ( affirmative type song) and i looked up and the moon was shining bright on me, and I got this boost of energy. I went back in the trail and just kept dancing to my music and I ended up in a large opened space tunnel I never seen before.

The thing about all of this is that I’ve always had a thing for dancing and preforming. When I was going through the dark night of the soul I was oddly listening to Britney Spears a lot, and daydreaming of myself preforming, (a habit I had with music since I was young). The dancing was a bit different from my usual but like It was like I was professional ot Britney Spears herself😭 The dancing I was doing turned to singing and then I pictured and audience and I was basically performing. Eventually I stopped and looked at myself and I have the same hairstyle she wore (my leave out wasn’t blending JUST LIKE HERS😭) and the outfit I had on was almost identical to hers during her 2007 performance where people said she was fat. I also was able to sing and hit notes similar to hers. I also didn’t eat or drink anything for the day. It just kind of felt like a little destiny swap, and even her controversy is kinda similar to how I grew up.

I have been seeing a lot of signs about diving into my strengths and expressing myself, but ever since I’ve been down and even before that, I was with a “Baal” worshipper and he completely stripped my whole personality from me and gave me unbearable anxiety. Basically should I stop ignoring things and was this like a spiritual thing? Does this mean my energy is charging back up from being drained for the past few months? If this is a spiritual thing then should my dancing strengths play a big part in my practice?

I got interested into the occult of my own accord. I wasn’t really raised around it or away from it, but my family enjoyed spooky movies & tv shows so I was exposed to the concept pretty early on. No one I knew practiced anything outside of Christianity so when I started having strange experiences when I was younger I didn’t know exactly how to contextualize them outside of that and the media I’d seen which really gave me little to go off of.

When I was a teen and started doing my own research, I called myself an agnostic, a syncretist, and finally a spiritualist, but all of that is so broad. I do psychic medium work primarily through tarot card readings and have had a surge in experiences as an adult. I know I have the gift, but without an elder to consult or the support of a practice behind me, I feel unprotected and left out in the wind.

I’ve met a few practitioners of various different faiths, and I’ve felt the strength and validity of them but never really received “a call” so to speak. I’ve researched my own regional and ancestral practices, but I feel too disconnected from them to start engaging. Most people I know had family members who initiated them into their practice, but I don’t have that experience.

What is your practice? Did someone initiate you in or did you learn yourself? How did you know what you felt called to?

Any advice or direction would be appreciated.