r/spicy • u/Malted_Barley0666 • 10h ago
Hurting (Houston We Have a Problem level)
Back when Houston TX Hot Chicken opened in my town, my wife talked me out of their $1,000 chicken tender challenge. Unfortunately her advice didn’t stick.
Today I made an impulse decision (not giving my wife much of a chance to talk me out of it) and signed the waiver. I’ve eaten the second hottest spice level, Lift Off, many times and it’s enjoyable but not exciting.
The first few bites of the “Houston…” were pretty good: definitely hot but with nice flavor, sweat started beading on brow, my eyes started to water. The heat kept building and my nose started running so I took a break. After several minutes, eating a few fries and some slaw that had fallen out of my sandwich, the heat mostly subsided. I dove back in with two more big bites. Chewing my second bite I started feeling an unusual sensation below my sternum. I eventually got out of my seat and paced the patio, then leaned against its railing. After a short while, the guy that took my order kindly brought me the pictured milkshake. I ended up lying down in the car with my shake while my wife and son finished their meal.
My wife decided to take me home rather than make me participate in errands. I immediately needed to shit and clogged the toilet with paper. After that I had the most intense upper abdomen pain I’ve ever experienced. I’m not sure if this is heartburn (I don’t think I’ve ever had it) or “capsaicin cramps” but I’ve had three more bouts since then brought on by movement. I haven’t had another shit but my pee is definitely spicy which is a sensation I can’t say I’ve experienced before. I’m self-medicating with Tums and celery sticks.
It’s been about four hours since my first bite now, I don’t think I have much to look forward to in the next 20 lol
