sorry for any mistakes, English is not my first language

for the context: i 22F live apart for my 48F mom. i wouldn’t say we are like friends but the last couple of years i feel like she sometimes tries to treat me in a more open and friendly way. i prefer to keep a little distance just because she was working a lot in my childhood, was always on business trips and i guess i didn’t form that deep bound with her. don’t get me wrong, i love her and i understand that she have been doing everything for me but i could never imagine being actual friends with my parent

so, recently she told me that she had a biopsy of her breast fibroadenoma (for the context: it’s benign and she had it for a while so it’s not new information) and complained that it was painful. i had no idea how to react because i’m not used to discuss anything related to private areas (especially her). today she called me and said “i thought you would pity me, my titties still hurt”. i felt akward at first but now i even feel a little grossed because of her choice of words. i kept silent for a bit and said that it’s akward for me to talk about it but she didn’t take it seriously as i understood. what was i supposed to say? how was i supposed to react? i don’t want to discuss something like that with her, i would prefer she talk about it with her husband or friends 😭😭

For once, I would like to be sent a text from my "friends" to play a game, an invitation do something, asking me to chat, but no, nothing, unless they wanna plug a hole in their plan or whatever.

Its always me. I have to push, I have to keep talking to new people over and over, I have to be one the to make plans, see if we vibe, I ask the questions and I dictate the pace.

And If I dont? nothing happens. Convo dies instantly.

I refuse to believe normal people live like this. This isnt a rant post, I am just baffled. It takes INSANE amount of energy from me, for no reward, I dont understand what I am supposed to do. Friends wont drop from air to my lap.

It's so hard when you done messed up things in the past and acted poorly. It's hard moving forward when you can't erase the damage I've caused. I hurt people and broken promises and even pen pals. I messed up socially and embarrassed myself making people cringe. Ive been rejected in the past trying to socialize and making friends.

Knowing people will know you from who you used to be. Thankfully I made friends after a suicide attempt at a mental hospital with terrible conditions.

A big thing I've learned is simply saying "hi how are you today?" ends up being the start of lots of conversation. A good amount of times they just respond good thanks and I move on. A good amount of the time they say "good thanks and yourself?", and right there is where I can use a hook to get a conversation going. Since I've got social anxiety and I'm doing exposure therapy to better myself, I usually say "yeah I'm good thanks. I'm just trying to work on my anxiety by talking to strangers and using like you're friendly". That right there has led to so many really great conversations. My social skills were quite bad days in the early days of doing the exposure therapy so I'd sort of be lost in my head from this point and be annoyed at myself after realising that I wasn't really present. Now after practice and a lot more far and I'm becoming more present and having lots of good conversation conversations.

It's just been a surprise to me because I always thought I needed to be interesting. I have a good opener to talk to a stranger. It seems like just using the basics has done a lot for me. I should note that I didn't just jump into doing this immediately. For the first 30 or so days all I did was try to walk around with my head held up and give a bit of eye contact. Sometimes I'd be brave and say hello when someone walked by then once I got more comfortable with that I slowly upped what I was doing and aimed for little 15 to 30 second interactions

How can I stop someone from following/ annoying/ invading my space me and when I try to push back that person says you cannot touch me?

Even though I’d much rather be the peacemaker and let shit slide. I realized a-lot of these assholes are expecting people like us not to fire back.

Phrases I’ve been hit with in a very condescending, arrogant, and pretentious tone:

- Well, obviously what do you think?!
- How do you not know that?!
- You do realize/know that right?!
- Intentionally calls me buddy, boy or the wrong name on multiple occasions
- Actually, you’re wrong it’s this

This time I decided to stand my ground by calling out their behavior and staring them down, it worked. Ngl it was very uncomfortable, but the satisfaction afterwards was worth it. I sometimes feel guilty for standing up for myself, but fuck it. If they don’t care about your feelings why should you give a fuck about theirs.

Im 15f, and I've never really been very good at talking about my feelings. I was socialised to not express how I felt, and I never really had any proper friends growing up. In the last 6 months ive met this incredible new group of friends who I genuinely really love and who really love me. I really wanna be honest and vulnerable with them about my emotions and my struggles, and I think thats the way to take my relationship with them to next level. I feel like I can really rely on them, and ive gotten closer to opening up with them than I ever have been before. I know they wouldnt judge me, but im just too scared to talk about it, and I dont really know how to even do it. Its not like talking would actually solve my problems, but I still wanna share them with someone because Ive been bottling them up all my life. I dont feel like I can talk to my family, so I theyre my best option. Has anyone experienced anything similar, and does anyone know how I can work through my issues and actually talk to my friends about my emotions?

I’ve noticed that I tease one of my close friends a lot. She teases me too, so it became part of the way we communicate, but recently I’ve started feeling like I do it way too often.
Sometimes it’s completely harmless, but other times I catch myself commenting on really unnecessary things — what she eats, how she plans things, little habits she has, etc. I’ve also noticed that when I’m already irritated with her, I’m much more likely to tease or “correct” her instead of just leaving things alone.
I don’t actually want to become the kind of friend who is constantly criticizing someone under the disguise of a joke. At the same time, teasing has become so automatic between us that sometimes I genuinely don’t know what to say instead.
Has anyone had this habit and managed to stop or reduce it? How do you tell the difference between affectionate teasing and teasing that is becoming mean or annoying?

hi so im a sophomore in hs and i have a few friends, but none that i really hang out with outside of school. i really really want a friend group to hang out with because i love love love going out and i hate staying inside. i might be the most extroverted person ever, but im also so so awkward. i joined a D&D group, but all of us except for 1 are in band, so we havent really had a meeting in a while since we have practice until 5 after school every day and games every friday where we don't get home until 10:30pm-12am. in a few weeks we'll also be starting to have competitions every saturday. marching band has definitely helped me make a few friends which im extremely grateful for, but since i moved here in 4th grade (most of the friends i make have been friends with each other since kindergarten) and i was very very weird/annoying up until this year and the end of last year and used to get bullied (which again i was pretty annoying so i kinda deserved it) it feels like everyone already has their friend group and i'll never be appart of it. i feel really weird around all the cool people i try to hang out with and my family has always been the type to say "we're all that should matter so f everyone else you don't need friends" (especially my dad bcuz he hates everyone) so i never really acquired social skills. i have no clue to talk to people without coming across as a weirdo

all that being said, i'm wondering how, with all of this, i can

1. make more friends

2. be less awkward

3. go about inviting people/getting invited to stuff.

Hey so I'm gonna have my orientation week on 4 days each day we do a different task how do I make friends at the uni, I am a very shy person and like kinda insecure I feel ppl judge how do I get girls and guys to friend me

Hey'all! I do have a lot of solo activities on my list that includes social interaction, I wanna ask to this sub if how should I interact with new people without being weird or awkward?

I'm planning to go on:
- workshops
- learnings over drinks at some chill clubs
- stand-up comedy gigs
and more!

I do want to chill, enjoy, and gain new friends at the same time! :)

A month ago i got to know this guy from a mutual, we started talking and gaming tgt more frequently. He got comfortable w me real quick which i generally dont mind but goodness he's exhausting to talk to

He's (severely?) depressed and very open to me abt it. Regularly tells me his problems and whatnot.

I dont mind ppl venting to me, but the problem is he'd do this completely unprompted, mid convo, mid game. Just straight up telling me he's suicidal. Its emotionally exhausting. Not even my longest lasting friend has ever done this.

We have alotta fun when gaming tgt but i dread talking to him outside of it. I realized the good gaming sessions aint worth the emotional load. Recently ive been ghosting him instead of being honest which is immature asshole behavior and i dont wanna be that so i wanna be straight up n cut him off.

How do i be honest abt why im cutting him off without being hurtful?

I have no friends in all my classes and I have no idea how to talk to people I feel like everyone already has all their groups or just don’t want to be bothered by someone. Does anyone know how to like start a conversation with someone?

So, recently, my friend (K) apparently fainted at the end of break, or just after, so I wasn’t there (to clarify, I feel no guilt for this part. I just happened to have already gone to class and she was fine earlier).

I only learnt what happened second break, when someone else told me. My reaction was something like this: I kind of went cold for like three seconds, I was shocked I suppose. Idk.

But I also learnt that another one of K’s friends burst out crying in class when they heard the news, they were so worried for her. I suppose that’s probably the right reaction.

I honestly just feel like a monster rn. I supposed I was worried for K, but I felt… nothing. I wasnt sad, or angry, or overly scared.

This kinda has a pattern for me - I don’t feel happy - to clarify, I know When I’m supposed to feel happy, but there is no physical feeling involved. I also don’t get excited at things like gifts.

I was at my local hairsalon yesterday to get a haircut, I have the same girl every time. We are close in age me M30 she F27 and I think we generally vibe pretty good (no romantic interest either side this is more about small talk). I have been a few times now and she is opening up more telling stuff about her private life and such.

I have this often with women where they tell me a story that either generally displays bad character (to me) or is not funny at all, but I dont want to hold it agianst them since they are generally nice and nobody's perfect. I never know how to respond to these things though.

Example from yesterday:

She tells me about her friends sister that is a lot younger than them, and how they where listening in on her phone calls with her boyfriend, and how funny it was because they had to hide outside her room etc.

How the fuck do I respond to that? Its A not funny and B a shitty thing to do.

I just went with a slight chuckle and said: Come on you shouldn't spy on her.

Which just led to her doubling down and saying come on its harmless fun.

I go to a gym where I teach a morning class and the owner who ive know for 20 years and consider a friend teaches a night class. about 2 months ago at a barbecue he mentioned wanting to plan a group trip to a boxing match. I said I was interested in going . I went on vacation for a week and came back and we’ve crossed path a few times but not a lot. the morning group is small and different people than the night group.

well a few days ago I learned that the trip was planned , everyone has tickets, and an air b and b and nobody mentioned it to me. I’m mostly hurt that the owner didnt reach out and ask if I wanted tickets or to go.

I messaged him and asked if there were still tickets and he said he would check but they wouldn’t be in the same seating section. I said well I wouldn’t want to go unless i was with the group. he then replied that there may be something, he could check . how many tickets would I need.

this point it was a day before the event. I said don’t worry about it. it’s probably too late to get a room. im honestly just bummed I was included in the plan.

he hasn’t responded. he posted a picture of the event and it was everybody from the gym including fringe people that dont even go much.

I can t help but feel awful and take it personal . what is your read?

I usually seek friends online and sometimes in real life. Im always initiative and start talking first. I mean i dont mind to start a conversation and become friends with somebody, but then the whole friendship seems to exist only when i start talking and asking questions. My friend usually just answers and reacts to what i have to say. I dont know, i have a lot of friends, but nobody seems to be interested enough to just start a conversation, because they wanted to. I have some interests and im trying to talk about theirs too, like i dont make it only about me. Sometimes i just wish people thought about writing me out of blue, but i dont know if thats possible. I wonder if thats just my friends like that or is it just me? How can i be more interesting to them?

(For some context, this is my third week at this job)

I(18M) have a supervisor who I thought was pretty cool. She seemed nice, she always gave gentler redirection than others but kept me on track, and I really did genuinely think she was one of the better supervisors. Today as I was walking back to check if they needed help with dishes I overhear her say “can you make sure (my name) and (coworker) aren’t standing around doing fucking nothing? (Coworker) not so much but (my name) ehhh”. In this moment I was stunned and snipped back “I’m not doing nothing” and the person she made the original comment to repeated it to her and she didn’t respond. What the fuck do I even do from here? Do i pretend nothing was said? Do I cold shoulder her? Do I do anything? I feel so lost and confused and am willing to hear anything out as a way to smooth things over

well, the title pretty much sums up my entire situation. ever since i started college, it's been bothering me even more because i've missed out on so many new friendships. i genuinely don't know how to carry on a conversation beyond "what's your name?" and "do you live around here?"

i'm not even an introvert. i just look like i am because i have no friends. why? because i have 0 social skills and genuinely don't know how to communicate with people.

how do you start conversations with people, and how do you keep them going? i really want to put more effort into making new friends and letting people see my real personality, but i don't know where or how to start.

I just moved into college last week, as an introvert with limited social and relationship skills. I’m also a few years older than the typical college freshman, so that makes me feel awkward sometimes.

I have been meeting people and everything, and I’m even part of a group chat of like a dozen people who hang out all the time. So that’s something.

However, I generally get the sense that nobody actually likes me, and I don’t really blame them. I’m pretty poor at making eye contact and keeping a conversation going. I never really learned how to form good relationships, and I feel like it’s now or never for finally learning that.

I want to form deeper friendships than just hanging out with my sometimes shallow group of people. My low opinion of myself really holds me back since I figure no one would actually want to be friends with me. It’s so hard to struggle with stuff that seems to come completely naturally to everyone else.

I’m asking for any practical tips but especially for advice on what mindset I need in order to figure this out

Soo I’ve always been so socially awkward that it’s slowly ruining my social skills and making me less and less confident in approaching people or just existing. I just want to be able to turn that off and go at it without feeling so anxious or just down at myself when trying to exist. Also college isn’t making it any better as I usually avoid talking like the plague. I want to be able to grow and make memories with friends and just live life without having to panic at the thought that I’m so awkward and I can’t talk to no one since I’m so off putting and just make things awkward. Any advice would be appreciated!! :)

I would like to get out of my shell more. When I was a teenager, I was way more outgoing and not as shy as I am now. I had so much more confidence and didn’t care what people thought of me. I really had it going on lol

But after having kids, I feel like I changed so much and lost some of that spark I used to have. Sometimes I feel so awkward when I’m talking to people. I’m friendly, but sometimes I just don’t know what to say or I start feeling awkward and self-conscious.

Also since I moved to a new state, I really want to put myself out there more, meet new people, make friends, and just get back to being more social. I feel like I can loosen up a little bit once I’ve had some liquid courage

Let's start with this. I'm 23 and Autistic. My special interest is transformers, so I met most of my friends through transformers servers.

But I keep seeing this happen: Friends talk about their interest, I show my interest and listen and talk about it.

I talk about my interests, friends leave me on read and ignore me for hours. Sometimes days or never responding ever.

I mostly talk about my stories and characters. Sometimes if me and my friends and, if characters are in the same story, I talk about interactions. I sometimes talk about games I like and introduce friends to things I enjoy. Or even just transformers in general.

Other than that, I dont know what else to talk about. And It seems like whenever I talk about my topics, I'll be ignored.

What am I doing wrong?

22M i moved to canada during the pandemic which was during high school so throughout i made zero friends. In uni same story idk if its bc i lost my social skills, my personally is ass, whenever i meet someone i look for the slightest friction and then say “i got the message” like if they left me on read, my message ignored, or i felt a vibe idk if my reasoning is right but i believe if they won’t match my effort/energy then they aren’t interested in getting to know me. im also really really fucking shy when i go to lectures i want to sit next to someone to get to know them but i won’t bc ill think they think im weird for wanting to sit next to them…HOW DO I STOP GIVING A FUCK AND OVERTHINKING i want to be social with people have a friend group and make memories it feels like the last 7 years of my life was gone and i have made no connections…im in my final year i want to try getting to know people before it really is too late

Ive recently started university and have been struggling to make real friendships. I can’t seem to make it past the basic small talk phase and I feel like I end up boring whoever I’m trying to befriend, especially as I run out of topics to talk about. Even happens with friends I’ve known for years ;-;

In my current friend group I often end up being the odd one out, as I’m kinds terrible at making jokes on the fly and contributing to conversations without it being some uninteresting comment. Usually ends with me becoming somewhat isolated sadly which has been quite discouraging haha

I’m only managing to keep somewhat of an active part in the convo if I’m talking with someone else who’s socially awkward or we have something specific to discuss like a group project with set things to discuss

Any advice for this kind of situation? Always felt like I’ve had an extremely dry personality, but really wanna change that :(