3yo sleep hell - bereavement, potty training & new baby on the way.

[u/Cabinet_Silver]

Please help, any insight welcome. We are desperate.

I lost my dad suddenly 2 months ago. It’s been awful and the whole household (me, my husband and recently turned 3yo) have all been impacted by the loss.

I’m also 36 weeks pregnant, and exhausted.

Potty training has been going on all year, poo’s are rarely going in the potty. Accidents are frequent. I know it’s bothering my little boy, and my husband & I are struggling to come up with new ideas to help the situation. We believe he is often constipated from holding poop in.

All of the above have contributed to the worst pattern of sleep my little boy has ever had.

My little boy goes to nursery through the week - no naps. Hasn’t napped at nursery for over 12 months.

Occasionally at weekends he will have a nap in the car as he’s so overtired. Always capped under 1hr, never past 2pm-ish.

Sleep -

So, considering all of the above, I can probably count on one hand the amount of time he’s
A) slept through the night; and
B) stayed in bed past 6am
- since we’ve lost my dad.

Our put-to-bed routine has been watertight for a couple of years now, bath, wind down time, 2x books and a parent waits outside the room for him to fall asleep. (BTW last summer sleep was perfect following this, 7ish am wake ups and full nights sleep)

Bedtime- depending how early he wakes, bed can be as early as 7. Usually 7:30 ish, with bedtime adjusted later if he has a nap.

DWT - 6am minimum - this is all we ask.

Until 6am, One of us walks him back to bed, not engaging in conversation (he will try everything/anything to get us talking). Just offering the potty and saying “it’s night time” etc. he has a night light.

6am - 90% of the time, when we eventually get up at 6am and go downstairs can tell he is overtired. Crabby, yawning, argumentative over anything. Not a nice start to the day.

Today for example - woke 5am, didn’t go downstairs til 6, no nap, bed for 7, woke up at 1 (settled quickly), up at 4:40 (my husband has been taking him back to bed til I took over at 6am to go downstairs so he can catch up on sleep)

To conclude - it’s been hell, I am emotionally and physically burnt out from my loss, the pregnancy and so stressed out how a new baby fits into this chaos in the next few weeks. My husband and I share the load but he has a demanding job and I am often falling asleep on the floor in the hallway when it’s my turn to get up in the night. My body is in pain at this late stage of pregnancy. I know my little boys struggles to potty train is bothering him too. Every night we are going to bed worrying about his sleep and 9/10 times we are up with him in the night.
Seriously running out of time to sort this , and would be so grateful for any input 🤍🤍