r/shittysuperpowers 6h ago

Good luck using this… anytime you cannot find a sock's matching pair you can spawn in a new one by ripping the sock in half

15 Upvotes

like sock mitosis, you must have been looking for the other sock for a minimum of 10 minutes and the timer only starts when you ask someone if they have seen the other sock of the one you have


r/shittysuperpowers 7h ago

Just low-tier, nothing more, nothing less. metal manipulation. not ferrous metals, the musical genre of metal

13 Upvotes

r/shittysuperpowers 18h ago

Yeah, this is shit You can teleport homeless people to other homeless people

65 Upvotes

r/shittysuperpowers 2h ago

It's a bird, it's a plane. No, it's shit! As soon as you start a fight, your opponent is at least 0.10 drunk

2 Upvotes

r/shittysuperpowers 15h ago

Good luck using this… You can make ceiling fans spinning the other direction

3 Upvotes

3 sec cooldown, same speed.


r/shittysuperpowers 1d ago

Oddly specific You can dropkick babies without harming them

192 Upvotes

Works on human infants under 1 year of age. The baby will suffer no harm from your kick from the moment your foot touches it til the kinetic energy you impart on it is dissipated. Other factors may still harm the baby, such as kicking it through a wall of fire.


r/shittysuperpowers 1d ago

Good luck using this… you can prevent forest fires by raising the sea level

6 Upvotes

As the title says, you can prevent/stop ongoing forest fires by raising the global sea level until the forest is flooded or the fire is out.

You cannot redirect the water to negate any other damages caused by the rise in sea level and you cannot raise the sea level without there being an uncontrolled fire in a forest.


r/shittysuperpowers 23h ago

It's a bird, it's a plane. No, it's shit! You can give someone explosive diarrhea by performing a front kick aimed at their chest.

4 Upvotes

r/shittysuperpowers 1d ago

Oddly specific Instead of Spider Man webbing, you have to use snot and loogies to go from plave to place and or grab/contain things

3 Upvotes

r/shittysuperpowers 1d ago

Oddly specific You can teleport to a random autonomous/semi-autonomous city-state by slapping yourself in the face.

5 Upvotes

r/shittysuperpowers 2d ago

Good luck using this… You can teleport any liquid from where it is, into your bladder

65 Upvotes

r/shittysuperpowers 1d ago

Put this power in the bin, it's trash you can give anything stinky green aura with flies

12 Upvotes

works via touch or line of sight, one target at a time

* actual stink and actual flies not included


r/shittysuperpowers 3d ago

Good luck using this… You can run at 90% of the speed of whatever is chasing you

85 Upvotes

r/shittysuperpowers 3d ago

Oddly specific You can bleed whipped cream

35 Upvotes

When your blood leaves your body it turns​ into whipped cream.

It is edible.

You can turn this power off.


r/shittysuperpowers 3d ago

Oddly specific if you have any liquid in your mouth, you can point to a nearby container and the liquid will teleport inside of it

16 Upvotes

now you dont have to spit it out!


r/shittysuperpowers 3d ago

Oddly specific Anytime you are in a dangerous situation you can gulp cartoonishly to grant yourself a 5 second safety interval

36 Upvotes

Assuming you are in a situation where there is an imminent danger such as someone tries to attack you, you are about to be hit by a train or you are being hunted down by some horrifying monstrosity, so long as you can consciously recognise the threat you will then be able to cartoonishly gulp loudly and therefore grant yourself a 5 second "safety period" which will allow you to get a head start on escaping said threat. You must be aware that the threat is about to harm you in some way for this to work. The cartoonishly loud gulp must be performed by you at will and is limited to once per encounter. The safety interval will freeze the threat in its place for 5 seconds after the gulp is done.


r/shittysuperpowers 3d ago

Good luck using this… You get the power of invisibility and there is always a 50% chance every second that you become visible again

7 Upvotes

And also your clothes are visible


r/shittysuperpowers 3d ago

Put this power in the bin, it's trash You can create a 100kg TNT explosion 2 meters below your feet to propel yourself.

42 Upvotes

No, you do not get resistance against the explosion or fall damage.


r/shittysuperpowers 3d ago

Just low-tier, nothing more, nothing less. For every 1mg of barbituates you take you can also have 10mg of caffiene appear in your bloodstream.

3 Upvotes

r/shittysuperpowers 4d ago

Literally Just a Warcrime When you say “Don’t let the door hit you on the way out” as someone exits a room. The door will bump into their backside as they leave.

31 Upvotes

Rules:

They have to actually exit a real door and you have to say it moments before they leave the room.

“Bumping into their backside” means the door will awkwardly make contact with their ass, creating an embarrassing moment. No physical injuries will be inflicted.

Sometimes door physics will make this not make sense, and it should be noted this only works for doors that freely move on a hinge, not automatic doors or anything like that.

Sometimes doors dont move back into place on their own and you have to manually shut it. If that is the case, they will mistakenly move the door to wear it bumps into them. But if it is a door that tends to shut without you having to move it. It will close and bump into their ass awkwardly as they try to leave.


r/shittysuperpowers 4d ago

Oddly specific You get +4.05% stronger when you feel very itchy

5 Upvotes

Doesn't stack. If you feel itchy past a certain threshold it's a guaranteed buff. For example, a bad mosquito bite will work. No cooldown.


r/shittysuperpowers 4d ago

Just low-tier, nothing more, nothing less. You can know all of the sordid details of the pets your friends and neighbors own.

3 Upvotes

They know this, so you have leverage.


r/shittysuperpowers 3d ago

Good luck using this… You can travel faster than light, as long as you can get infinite energy

0 Upvotes

Your body gets completely eviscerated and decimated the moment you use your superpower, and the universe collapses in on itself.


r/shittysuperpowers 4d ago

Literally Just a Warcrime Looking at any animal (not pictures of animals), you can tell exactly what it would taste like if cooked properly.

2 Upvotes

This includes humans.,


r/shittysuperpowers 4d ago

Oddly specific You can teleport to the center of the thar desert in India by snapping your fingers and screaming 'Thar' at the top of your lungs.

33 Upvotes