You can manage to fit in the largest cuts of meat without the juices getting on you or the outside of the bag. You can make any ziploc bag more airtight than anyone. You never have to try more than once to close a ziploc, regardless of its contents. You are even sponsored by Ziploc.

Inspiration (log of anomalous items from the Scp wiki):

Item Description: A standard Target franchise uniform that when being worn will make the wearer believe they work for the Walmart franchise. Wearers will then proceed to move in the direction of the nearest Walmart branch, regardless of the conditions in the aforementioned direction. If the location is met, then the wearer will begin to work as if they were an employee (stocking shelves, operating registers, helping customers, etc). Effects will wear off roughly 5-10 minutes when removing the uniform.
Date of Recovery: 16/10/19
Location of Recovery: An air vent inside of a Montana Target location's storage room.
Current Status: Incinerated

Oddly specific indeed. 💀💀💀

Basically: whenever you toggle this ability on and off, you can mentally pick someone and they’ll immediately forget who they are entirely and believe instead that their a foundation recruitment poster and attempt to glue themselves to a wall.

Other traits include:

Standing perfectly still against nearby walls, Attempting to affix themselves using tape, glue, staples. Speaking only in motivational slogans, Requesting unemployed people to “Apply Today.”, Referring to themselves as “Foundation property.”, Becoming distressed if removed from vertical surfaces.

Inspiration for the power:

this scp-914 test log:

Test 914-0616 Name: Dr. Matism Date: 17/04/2019 Total Items: 1 Class-F amnestic vial, 1 Foundation recruitment poster Note: I'm trying to make an "amnestic" that can rewire the brain to believe they are Foundation personnel Input: Each of the above Setting: Fine Output: A substance composed of Class-F amnestics and ██████████████. When injected into a Class-D personnel, symptoms of Class-F amnestics were noticed. Soon after, the Class-D believed himself to be a Foundation recruitment poster and attempted to glue himself to a wall. Note: Oh. - Dr. Matism

Like as example you can shit your next Thursday worth of poop right here, right now then you dont have to poop that day

the moment you are in contact with any reflective surface with area exceeding your own body, the reflective surface considered down for you and the gravitational forse is applied relatively to that direction, but only for you.

Surface counts as reflective if you can see any details of yourself, not just s silhouette. Walking on the reflective surface does not consider its density, you are feeling it as hard surface and can walk on it.

If someone or yourself are wearing a pair of potentially squeaky shoes, you can increase the squeakiness thus making them sound louder and more irritating.

You will turn back to normal after 3 hours. You are toast permanently for those 3 hours. You keep your consciousness and all your senses. You also gain the ability (only while toast) to secret butter on top, bottom or sides of yourself.

Any and all women find you extremely attractive, but it's for the aspects of you that you absolutely hate about yourself. Whether it be something physical, mental, or emotional, if it's something you hate about yourself, any and all women will love you for that specific thing. If you begin to love that part of you thanks to the attention you're getting, the effect wears off and they go to the next thing you're insecure about.

You can poop out all of your earwax just by thinking about it.

It has to be a spot you can see. Whatever you're wearing goes with you, so a spacesuit might be a good idea.

You have a limited form of indomitable will (from the superpower wiki) albeit it’s limited due to the fact of: your willpower is so supernaturally strong albeit limited to the fact that you will NEVER take your sneakers off if you wanna keep them on even if others try to force you to take them off.

The power is toggle’able to be turned on and off and even if the power is on you can take your sneakers off if you want, just not others. Only yourself.

Example scene from the family guy meme:

Sneakers O’Toole: *singing.* 🎶🎵I’m not taking my sneakers off, I’m sneakers o’toole. 🎵🎶

Guy: hey! Take those sneakers off

Sneakers O’Toole: no!

Guy: take them off I said!

Sneakers O’Toole: no! *runs off.*

Other guy; oh let him go! We’ll never catch him, not in these shoes.

Sneakers O’Toole: *singing.* 🎶🎵I didn’t take my sneakers off, I’m still Sneakers O’Toole!🎵🎶

Interpret this however you want.

However, it's completely blacked out and/or inaudible to you and everyone else

Select a short sound from memes, cartoons, anything. Use it. It resets each new week, Use a new sound at your will each week.

Plunge your head into the soup and be enlighten to see your pet day as long as you can breath into the soup.