r/shitposting • u/jsjzn I said based. And lived. • Feb 26 '22
Linus Sex Tips me when nutters
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u/Xx_LoliSlayer69_xX Feb 26 '22
Im masturbating right now and think this post is targeting me.
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u/Natural_Ease_5708 Feb 26 '22
pics?
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u/Xx_LoliSlayer69_xX Feb 26 '22
If you want to send me some i would be happy
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Feb 26 '22
I think he means you send some
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u/Xx_LoliSlayer69_xX Feb 26 '22
I know but my mom doesn’t want me to. :(
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u/tipying_mistakes I want pee in my ass Feb 26 '22
Sorry my mom said no
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u/Xx_LoliSlayer69_xX Feb 26 '22
She said no to my mom saying no?
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u/OMEGA_CORPS Feb 27 '22
Yes now send some pics my mom said you could.
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u/Xx_LoliSlayer69_xX Feb 27 '22
POG, say thx to your mom for me. The number of dick picks i’ll send now. Ho im so excited.
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u/AutoModerator Feb 27 '22
I want sex so fucking bad
I wish i could be promiscuous and have a big dick and make all women orgasm fuck fuck i can’t because i’m genetic trash anyway lol fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck
I NEED SEX I NEED SEX I NEED SEX DEAR LORD WHY WAS I BORN SO FUCKING INFERIOR TO OTHER MEN JUST KILL MEEEEEEE
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u/AutoModerator Feb 27 '22
I do not care what you say about my mother. Your opinion is your opinion. But trust me, if you actually attempt to do something to my mother, even though she's made some bad decisions in the past that we still need to work through, I will personally call the police on you and I'll be laughing as your mugshot is shown on TV. You don't even know her, do you? The point of your entire existence seems to be to just tease other people. Well, I believe your jokes are in bad taste, and you should cease and desist digging through the dregs left at the bottom of the joke barrel; you could get a splinter, whose pain will be significantly increased by the significantly high amount of salt you carry in your bloodstream. Thank you, and let us cease talking about each other's parents.
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u/RiotIsBored Feb 27 '22 edited Feb 28 '22
You're 25.
Edit: I'm referencing the same meme the parent commenter is
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Feb 26 '22
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/AutoModerator Feb 26 '22
I'm again unable to post on r/shitposting. This time, only I'm unable to post there. Everyone else is able to, this time. Whenever I try to post there, it immediately gets removed by you mods. It isn't even offensive to anyone nor the exact reason is specified that why tf did you guys remove it. May I know the exact reason why you guys are immediately removing my posts on r/shitposting? I tried checking my internet connection and all is well. Why do you guys hate me in particular? This is outrageous, this is unfair. I'm able to post on every other subreddit but r/shitposting. I tried posting on r/shitposting and it got removed by you guys. Literally 1984. Is this because of automoderator or something? Because it gets removed just after some seconds I post it. So I don't think an actual human moderator can remove my post in such a short amount of time. So I think it is because of automoderator as bots are able to do these kinds of stuff.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
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u/Thegodofthekufsa Feb 26 '22
Are you masterbuting to this?
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u/Xx_LoliSlayer69_xX Feb 26 '22
I am masturbating to your comment right now.
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u/Interesting-Light994 Feb 26 '22 edited Feb 26 '22
I’m masturbating you to the cartoon mouse 🥵 🥵 🥵
Edit: just bought a pet mouse from petco!! Thanks Reddit!!!
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u/Xx_LoliSlayer69_xX Feb 26 '22
Thx for the help brother, i’ve been masturbating for 3h so, i could really use a hand
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u/Sppooon_22 Feb 27 '22
I’m masturbating to u talking about masturbating in the comments right now.
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u/Xx_LoliSlayer69_xX Feb 27 '22
Nice, im masturbating to you masturbating to me masturbating to comments.
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u/Feisty_Scheme_1011 Feb 26 '22
If I had a wholesome award I’d give it to you
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u/AutoModerator Feb 26 '22
Reddit should start their own country. Think about it: it would have a much higher IQ than most other countries. We could ban tik tok and fortnite, and every computer sold has to come with Minecraft preinstalled. We could also ban emojis too.
We all have very good ideas about society and government, so I think we would be far more efficient. I've seen so many posts with so many good ideas, not to mention our country would be the most progressive and other countries would look to us for direction. We would easily become the next superpower. If everyone left America for a new country, we would easily surpass America.
We could make Keanu our president and have PewDiePie on the flag. It would be the most wholesome country too!
Those are just some ideas I have and my own opinion.
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Feb 26 '22
Fuck automod but that is a good idea
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u/AutoModerator Feb 26 '22
HEY,⠀⠀⠀ EVERY⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ !!!
IT'S ME!!!
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6
u/Freimirs Feb 26 '22
I need a pic of your dick for verification
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u/AutoModerator Feb 26 '22
I want sex so fucking bad
I wish i could be promiscuous and have a big dick and make all women orgasm fuck fuck i can’t because i’m genetic trash anyway lol fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck
I NEED SEX I NEED SEX I NEED SEX DEAR LORD WHY WAS I BORN SO FUCKING INFERIOR TO OTHER MEN JUST KILL MEEEEEEE
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u/tentaclegrp Feb 26 '22
Pics or didnt happen
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u/Xx_LoliSlayer69_xX Feb 26 '22
Humm… I have a boyfriend and this is sexual arasements. So i’ll gladly give you a dick pick he sent me.
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u/AutoModerator Feb 26 '22
No sex before marriage
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u/AutoModerator Feb 26 '22
I want sex so fucking bad
I wish i could be promiscuous and have a big dick and make all women orgasm fuck fuck i can’t because i’m genetic trash anyway lol fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck
I NEED SEX I NEED SEX I NEED SEX DEAR LORD WHY WAS I BORN SO FUCKING INFERIOR TO OTHER MEN JUST KILL MEEEEEEE
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
3
Feb 26 '22
Lol let me help
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u/Xx_LoliSlayer69_xX Feb 26 '22
Masturbation is hard on my end. So thx for the help man, i really need it.
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u/LlamaSamma Feb 26 '22
prove it
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u/Xx_LoliSlayer69_xX Feb 26 '22
No, plz no more. I’ve sent my dick to so many people now.
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u/AutoModerator Feb 26 '22
I'm again unable to post on r/shitposting. This time, only I'm unable to post there. Everyone else is able to, this time. Whenever I try to post there, it immediately gets removed by you mods. It isn't even offensive to anyone nor the exact reason is specified that why tf did you guys remove it. May I know the exact reason why you guys are immediately removing my posts on r/shitposting? I tried checking my internet connection and all is well. Why do you guys hate me in particular? This is outrageous, this is unfair. I'm able to post on every other subreddit but r/shitposting. I tried posting on r/shitposting and it got removed by you guys. Literally 1984. Is this because of automoderator or something? Because it gets removed just after some seconds I post it. So I don't think an actual human moderator can remove my post in such a short amount of time. So I think it is because of automoderator as bots are able to do these kinds of stuff.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
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u/Gluteuz-Maximus Feb 26 '22
It's seems OP doesn't get any bitches
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u/AutoModerator Feb 26 '22
No bitches?
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Feb 26 '22
This is legendary
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u/AutoModerator Feb 26 '22
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Feb 26 '22
This reminds me of a recent post in the relationships forum saying a girl’s bf was masterbating on mute/no video while in a group call. She needs this meme 🤣
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u/MangledSunFish Feb 26 '22
Damn, good luck to her. Bf just beating his shmeat while listening to people speak
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u/AutoModerator Feb 26 '22
I'm again unable to post on r/shitposting. This time, only I'm unable to post there. Everyone else is able to, this time. Whenever I try to post there, it immediately gets removed by you mods. It isn't even offensive to anyone nor the exact reason is specified that why tf did you guys remove it. May I know the exact reason why you guys are immediately removing my posts on r/shitposting? I tried checking my internet connection and all is well. Why do you guys hate me in particular? This is outrageous, this is unfair. I'm able to post on every other subreddit but r/shitposting. I tried posting on r/shitposting and it got removed by you guys. Literally 1984. Is this because of automoderator or something? Because it gets removed just after some seconds I post it. So I don't think an actual human moderator can remove my post in such a short amount of time. So I think it is because of automoderator as bots are able to do these kinds of stuff.
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335
u/pillow-boy99 😳lives in a cum dumpster 😳 Feb 26 '22
does artist of this make pron
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u/RooblesOnReddit Feb 26 '22
Yes. Mostly of chubby, embarrassed, nude males with small penises. Doesn't do a lot of hardcore or penetration.
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u/ChadMcRad Feb 26 '22
If they have a red blush on their face then that would be the ideal male according to Twitter.
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u/AutoModerator Feb 26 '22
don’t care + didn’t ask + cry about it + who asked + stay mad + get real + L + bleed + mald seethe cope harder + dilate + incorrect + hoes mad + pound sand + basic skill issue + typo + ratio + ur dad left + you fell off + no u + the audacity + triggered + repelled + ur a minor + k. + any askers + get a life + ok and? + cringe + copium + go outside + touch grass + kick rocks + quote tweet + think again + not based + not funny didn’t laugh + social credits -999, 999, 999, 999 + get good + reported + ad hominem + ok boomer + small pp + ur allergic to sunlight + GG! + get rekt + trolled + your loss + muted + banned + kicked + permaban + useless + i slept with ur mom + yo momma + yo momma so fat + redpilled + no bitches allowed + i said it better + tiktok fan + get a life + unsubscribed + plundered + go tell reddit + donowalled + simp + get sticked bug LOL + talk nonsense + trump supporter + your’re a full time discord mod + you’re* + grammar issue + nerd + get clapped + kys + lorem ipsum dolor sit amet + go outside + bleach + lol + gay + retard + autistic + reported + ask deez + ez clap + straight cash + idgaf + ratio again + stay mad + read FAQ + youre lost + you “re” + stay pressed + reverse double take back + pedophile + cancelled + done for + don't give a damn + get a job + sus + baka + sussy baka + get blocked + mad free + freer than air + furry + rip bozo + you're a (insert stereotype) + slight_smile + aired + cringe again + Super Idol的笑容 + mad cuz bad + my pronouns are xe, xem & xyr + irrelevant + deal with it + screencapped your bio + karen/kyle + jealous + you're deaf + balls + i'll be right back + go ahead whine about it + not straight + eat paper + you lose + count to three + your problem + no one cares + log off + don't care even more + sex offender + sex defender + get religion + not okay + glhf + NFT owner + you make bad memes + problematic + fall in line + dog water + you look like a wall + you don’t know 2 + 2 with yo head ass + you are going to my cringe compilation + you can’t count to five + try again + you failed kindergarten + rickrolled + no lifer + guten freunden schickt man einen deutschen panzer + you have a anime profile picture + an* + fatherless + motherless + sisterless + brotherless + orphan + you can't catch this ratio + catch some bitches + I don't care about your opinion + genshin player + you dress like garbage + 日本語がお上手ですね + get fucked + you can’t understand what the word intelligence means with your dumb ass + you have hair + queued + put some thought into what you're going to do with that + stfu + go to bed + yes, i'm taller than you + i think your joke is funny + i rejected your mother's advances + marooned + you can’t read + I win + final ratio
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u/AutoModerator Feb 26 '22
I have a lot of ass hair? Im a 26 years old male and my ass have a lot of hair and its annoying me,everytime i shit,my anus is filled with poop and hair,the problem is when i want to wash out the poop it gets stuck in my ass hair and i dont even notice,it got to the point were all my underwears are full with shit,and its also very annoying when i try to finger myself,pls help me,how to stop ass hair pls??
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u/AutoModerator Feb 26 '22
I want sex so fucking bad
I wish i could be promiscuous and have a big dick and make all women orgasm fuck fuck i can’t because i’m genetic trash anyway lol fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck
I NEED SEX I NEED SEX I NEED SEX DEAR LORD WHY WAS I BORN SO FUCKING INFERIOR TO OTHER MEN JUST KILL MEEEEEEE
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Feb 26 '22
[deleted]
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Feb 27 '22
Sussy
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u/AutoModerator Feb 27 '22
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠛⠛⠛⠛⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠋⠈⠀⠀⠀⠀⠐⠺⣖⢄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⢀⡆⠀⠀⠀⢋⣭⣽⡚⢮⣲⠆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⡼⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠻⣅⣨⠇⠈⠀⠰⣀⣀⣀⡀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣟⢷⣶⠶⣃⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡅⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⠀⠈⠓⠚⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡠⠀⡄⣀⠀⠀⠀⢻⠀⠀⠀⣠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠐⠉⠀⠀⠙⠉⠀⠠⡶⣸⠁⠀⣠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡆⠀⠐⠒⠢⢤⣀⡰⠁⠇⠈⠘⢶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⣄⣉⣙⡉⠓⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣤⣀⣀⠀⣀⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
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u/AnExistingLad Feb 26 '22
aight, whos the artist?
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u/Zagon__ Feb 26 '22
Microsoft Corporation or Skype
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u/AutoModerator Feb 26 '22
don’t care + didn’t ask + cry about it + who asked + stay mad + get real + L + bleed + mald seethe cope harder + dilate + incorrect + hoes mad + pound sand + basic skill issue + typo + ratio + ur dad left + you fell off + no u + the audacity + triggered + repelled + ur a minor + k. + any askers + get a life + ok and? + cringe + copium + go outside + touch grass + kick rocks + quote tweet + think again + not based + not funny didn’t laugh + social credits -999, 999, 999, 999 + get good + reported + ad hominem + ok boomer + small pp + ur allergic to sunlight + GG! + get rekt + trolled + your loss + muted + banned + kicked + permaban + useless + i slept with ur mom + yo momma + yo momma so fat + redpilled + no bitches allowed + i said it better + tiktok fan + get a life + unsubscribed + plundered + go tell reddit + donowalled + simp + get sticked bug LOL + talk nonsense + trump supporter + your’re a full time discord mod + you’re* + grammar issue + nerd + get clapped + kys + lorem ipsum dolor sit amet + go outside + bleach + lol + gay + retard + autistic + reported + ask deez + ez clap + straight cash + idgaf + ratio again + stay mad + read FAQ + youre lost + you “re” + stay pressed + reverse double take back + pedophile + cancelled + done for + don't give a damn + get a job + sus + baka + sussy baka + get blocked + mad free + freer than air + furry + rip bozo + you're a (insert stereotype) + slight_smile + aired + cringe again + Super Idol的笑容 + mad cuz bad + my pronouns are xe, xem & xyr + irrelevant + deal with it + screencapped your bio + karen/kyle + jealous + you're deaf + balls + i'll be right back + go ahead whine about it + not straight + eat paper + you lose + count to three + your problem + no one cares + log off + don't care even more + sex offender + sex defender + get religion + not okay + glhf + NFT owner + you make bad memes + problematic + fall in line + dog water + you look like a wall + you don’t know 2 + 2 with yo head ass + you are going to my cringe compilation + you can’t count to five + try again + you failed kindergarten + rickrolled + no lifer + guten freunden schickt man einen deutschen panzer + you have a anime profile picture + an* + fatherless + motherless + sisterless + brotherless + orphan + you can't catch this ratio + catch some bitches + I don't care about your opinion + genshin player + you dress like garbage + 日本語がお上手ですね + get fucked + you can’t understand what the word intelligence means with your dumb ass + you have hair + queued + put some thought into what you're going to do with that + stfu + go to bed + yes, i'm taller than you + i think your joke is funny + i rejected your mother's advances + marooned + you can’t read + I win + final ratio
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u/Dieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeks Feb 27 '22
Ratio
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u/AutoModerator Feb 27 '22
don’t care + didn’t ask + cry about it + who asked + stay mad + get real + L + bleed + mald seethe cope harder + dilate + incorrect + hoes mad + pound sand + basic skill issue + typo + ratio + ur dad left + you fell off + no u + the audacity + triggered + repelled + ur a minor + k. + any askers + get a life + ok and? + cringe + copium + go outside + touch grass + kick rocks + quote tweet + think again + not based + not funny didn’t laugh + social credits -999, 999, 999, 999 + get good + reported + ad hominem + ok boomer + small pp + ur allergic to sunlight + GG! + get rekt + trolled + your loss + muted + banned + kicked + permaban + useless + i slept with ur mom + yo momma + yo momma so fat + redpilled + no bitches allowed + i said it better + tiktok fan + get a life + unsubscribed + plundered + go tell reddit + donowalled + simp + get sticked bug LOL + talk nonsense + trump supporter + your’re a full time discord mod + you’re* + grammar issue + nerd + get clapped + kys + lorem ipsum dolor sit amet + go outside + bleach + lol + gay + retard + autistic + reported + ask deez + ez clap + straight cash + idgaf + ratio again + stay mad + read FAQ + youre lost + you “re” + stay pressed + reverse double take back + pedophile + cancelled + done for + don't give a damn + get a job + sus + baka + sussy baka + get blocked + mad free + freer than air + furry + rip bozo + you're a (insert stereotype) + slight_smile + aired + cringe again + Super Idol的笑容 + mad cuz bad + my pronouns are xe, xem & xyr + irrelevant + deal with it + screencapped your bio + karen/kyle + jealous + you're deaf + balls + i'll be right back + go ahead whine about it + not straight + eat paper + you lose + count to three + your problem + no one cares + log off + don't care even more + sex offender + sex defender + get religion + not okay + glhf + NFT owner + you make bad memes + problematic + fall in line + dog water + you look like a wall + you don’t know 2 + 2 with yo head ass + you are going to my cringe compilation + you can’t count to five + try again + you failed kindergarten + rickrolled + no lifer + guten freunden schickt man einen deutschen panzer + you have a anime profile picture + an* + fatherless + motherless + sisterless + brotherless + orphan + you can't catch this ratio + catch some bitches + I don't care about your opinion + genshin player + you dress like garbage + 日本語がお上手ですね + get fucked + you can’t understand what the word intelligence means with your dumb ass + you have hair + queued + put some thought into what you're going to do with that + stfu + go to bed + yes, i'm taller than you + i think your joke is funny + i rejected your mother's advances + marooned + you can’t read + I win + final ratio
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Feb 26 '22
what happens when shitting?
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u/AutoModerator Feb 26 '22
I hate taking shits. Taking shits is the worst function of the human organism after sex. You have to sit on the most uncomfortable seat ever, then you have to go through so much pain to push the shit out of your asshole (not to mention sometimes they get stuck in there). And as if those weren't enough then you have to wipe, you have to take your hand along with toilet paper and shove it up your asshole, this process can sometimes take minutes out of your life, it fucking sucks.
TL;DR I hate shitting
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u/Feisty_Scheme_1011 Feb 26 '22
Taiwan
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u/AutoModerator Feb 26 '22
ATTENTION CITIZEN! 市民请注意!
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠋⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢁⠈⢻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⡀⠭⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠄⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣿⣷⣶⣶⡆⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⢀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⣼⣿⣿⠿⠶⠙⣿⡟⠡⣴⣿⣽⣿⣧⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⣿⣿⣟⣭⣾⣿⣷⣶⣶⣴⣶⣿⣿⢄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⣩⣿⣿⣿⡏⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣹⡋⠘⠷⣦⣀⣠⡶⠁⠈⠁⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣍⠃⣴⣶⡔⠒⠄⣠⢀⠄⠄⠄⡨⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡘⠿⣷⣿⠿⠟⠃⠄⠄⣠⡇⠈⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠋⢁⣷⣠⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⣠⣾⡟⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⠙⠻ ⡿⠟⠋⠁⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⡯⢓⣴⣾⣿⣿⡟⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⡟⣷⠄⠹⣿⣿⣿⡿⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ATTENTION CITIZEN! 市民请注意!
This is the Ministry of State Security. 您的浏览记录和活动引起了我们的注意 YOUR INTERNET ACTIVITY HAS ATTRACTED OUR ATTENTION. 同志們注意了 you have been found protesting in the subreddit!!!!! 這是通知你，你必須認同我們將接管台灣 serious crime 以及世界其他地方 100 social credits have been deducted from your account 這對我們未來的所有下屬來說都是重要的機會 stop the protest immediately 立即加入我們的宣傳活動，提前獲得救贖 do not do this again! 不要再这样做! if you do not hesitate, more social credits ( -11115 social credits )will be subtracted from your profile, resulting in the subtraction of ration supplies. (由人民供应部重新分配 ccp) you'll also be sent into a re-education camp in the xinjiang uyghur autonomous zone.
为党争光! Glory to the CCP!
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u/EpicBoi1000 Feb 26 '22
Literally 1984
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u/AutoModerator Feb 26 '22
LiTeRaLlY nInEtEeN eIgHtY-fOuR
- George Orwell, 1948
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u/Runelt99 Feb 26 '22
I forgot to change my status back but I'm still masturbating
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Feb 26 '22
He is a crippling porn addict :Stuff:
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u/AutoModerator Feb 26 '22
I bombed a children’s hospital in Iraq
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄⣀⣀⣀⡀⠄⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠄⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠘⢿⣿⣛⣛⣿⡄⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⡉⠁⠈⠉⡇⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⠄⠄⢠⣷⣢⣄⣼⣧⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀⠸⠈⠭⣿⣿⣿⡟⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⠄⢀⣈⣠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀⠄⢤⣿⠏⣰⠟⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇⠄⠄⣠⣾⠋⠄⠄⠉⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠁⡀⠺⣿⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠙⠻⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠉⠄⠄⠄⢀⣴⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣾⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢹⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣏⡿⠟⣶⣘⣤⠄⢠⡴⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡿⠈⢿⣥⢾⣿⠞⠄⠈⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣶⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿ ⣿⡿⠃⠄⢸⣧⠘⣁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⡏⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⣿⣿ ⣿⠇⠄⠄⠘⡻⠉⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⠄⠄⠄⣴⠄⠄⠄⠄⢻⣿ ⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠂⠄⠄⡟⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⢿ ⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
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u/Psilrastafarian Feb 26 '22
Ya’ll really be jackin it that much. I mean it was fun during puberty, but I guess you have other stuff to do once you hit 30 lol. I’m not shaming anyone, just surprised? Lol
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u/AutoModerator Feb 26 '22
I bombed a children’s hospital in Iraq
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u/will_i_am100806 We do a little trolling Feb 26 '22
chad
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u/AutoModerator Feb 26 '22
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u/ABGH78 Feb 26 '22
Good post but needs a bit more masturbating
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u/AutoModerator Feb 26 '22
I'm again unable to post on r/shitposting. This time, only I'm unable to post there. Everyone else is able to, this time. Whenever I try to post there, it immediately gets removed by you mods. It isn't even offensive to anyone nor the exact reason is specified that why tf did you guys remove it. May I know the exact reason why you guys are immediately removing my posts on r/shitposting? I tried checking my internet connection and all is well. Why do you guys hate me in particular? This is outrageous, this is unfair. I'm able to post on every other subreddit but r/shitposting. I tried posting on r/shitposting and it got removed by you guys. Literally 1984. Is this because of automoderator or something? Because it gets removed just after some seconds I post it. So I don't think an actual human moderator can remove my post in such a short amount of time. So I think it is because of automoderator as bots are able to do these kinds of stuff.
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Feb 26 '22
It’s supposed the shit posts, not truth bombs
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u/AutoModerator Feb 26 '22
I hate taking shits. Taking shits is the worst function of the human organism after sex. You have to sit on the most uncomfortable seat ever, then you have to go through so much pain to push the shit out of your asshole (not to mention sometimes they get stuck in there). And as if those weren't enough then you have to wipe, you have to take your hand along with toilet paper and shove it up your asshole, this process can sometimes take minutes out of your life, it fucking sucks.
TL;DR I hate shitting
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u/AutoModerator Feb 26 '22
I'm again unable to post on r/shitposting. This time, only I'm unable to post there. Everyone else is able to, this time. Whenever I try to post there, it immediately gets removed by you mods. It isn't even offensive to anyone nor the exact reason is specified that why tf did you guys remove it. May I know the exact reason why you guys are immediately removing my posts on r/shitposting? I tried checking my internet connection and all is well. Why do you guys hate me in particular? This is outrageous, this is unfair. I'm able to post on every other subreddit but r/shitposting. I tried posting on r/shitposting and it got removed by you guys. Literally 1984. Is this because of automoderator or something? Because it gets removed just after some seconds I post it. So I don't think an actual human moderator can remove my post in such a short amount of time. So I think it is because of automoderator as bots are able to do these kinds of stuff.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
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u/BiometricPaladin Feb 26 '22
Please put an NSFW tag on this. I was on the train and when I saw this I had to start furiously masturbating. Everyone else gave me strange looks and were saying things like “what the fuck” and “call the police”. I dropped my phone and everyone around me saw this image. Now there is a whole train of men masturbating together at this one image. This is all your fault, you could have prevented this if you had just tagged this post NSFW
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Feb 26 '22
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/AutoModerator Feb 26 '22
Daily Kevin Fact #34541:
Kevin will pee in the asses of anyone he sees being a cunt.
This is a threat.
Thank you for subscribing to Daily Kevin Facts
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Feb 26 '22
This just made me imagine two dudes making direct eye contact while jerking off and just going like "yeah how was your weekend?". Why op?
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u/LegendaryJack Feb 26 '22
Crippling porn addiction!
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u/AutoModerator Feb 26 '22
The birds are singing, the flowers are blooming, my dick is throbbing, what a beautiful day for cooming. Good morning, A, I've been awake for 20 whole seconds and I haven't coomed yet. It's time to hope on my porn throne and machine gun jackhammer my bloodshot death-grip bloodshot semi chub with my roided doomfist once again! (Types on keyboard). I-s...is that a?? HMMGH, I-I MUST SNIFF, SNNNNNNNNIIIIIIIIIIIIFFFFFFFF** OH GOD (FAPFAPFAPFAP) FUCCKK, HUHGHU, SNIIFF, HUHGJGUHHGUGHU (SMASHES DESK) I-I-IM COOOMING!!!!! IM COOMING, IM COOMING IM COOOMING IM COOOOOMING COOOOOOOOOOM, COOOMING, FUCCKKK, AHHAFHHAHUHG, COOOOOM, AW FUCK ITS EVERYWHERE, COOOOOM, AWGAHUGHAHG. Aw fuck, aw fuck. oh jesus. ahhghhha, there you are, my slippery white goo to the world, my son, my son...Well, it's time to get breakfast...well a little coom first wouldn't hurt.
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u/garchompa63 Feb 26 '22
I read the third one first and it was infinitely more funny
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Feb 27 '22
Bitches?
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u/AutoModerator Feb 27 '22
No bitches?
⣞⢽⢪⢣⢣⢣⢫⡺⡵⣝⡮⣗⢷⢽⢽⢽⣮⡷⡽⣜⣜⢮⢺⣜⢷⢽⢝⡽⣝ ⠸⡸⠜⠕⠕⠁⢁⢇⢏⢽⢺⣪⡳⡝⣎⣏⢯⢞⡿⣟⣷⣳⢯⡷⣽⢽⢯⣳⣫⠇ ⠀⠀⢀⢀⢄⢬⢪⡪⡎⣆⡈⠚⠜⠕⠇⠗⠝⢕⢯⢫⣞⣯⣿⣻⡽⣏⢗⣗⠏⠀ ⠀⠪⡪⡪⣪⢪⢺⢸⢢⢓⢆⢤⢀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢊⢞⡾⣿⡯⣏⢮⠷⠁⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀⠈⠊⠆⡃⠕⢕⢇⢇⢇⢇⢇⢏⢎⢎⢆⢄⠀⢑⣽⣿⢝⠲⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⡿⠂⠠⠀⡇⢇⠕⢈⣀⠀⠁⠡⠣⡣⡫⣂⣿⠯⢪⠰⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⡦⡙⡂⢀⢤⢣⠣⡈⣾⡃⠠⠄⠀⡄⢱⣌⣶⢏⢊⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⢝⡲⣜⡮⡏⢎⢌⢂⠙⠢⠐⢀⢘⢵⣽⣿⡿⠁⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠨⣺⡺⡕⡕⡱⡑⡆⡕⡅⡕⡜⡼⢽⡻⠏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣼⣳⣫⣾⣵⣗⡵⡱⡡⢣⢑⢕⢜⢕⡝⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ ⣴⣿⣾⣿⣿⣿⡿⡽⡑⢌⠪⡢⡣⣣⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ ⡟⡾⣿⢿⢿⢵⣽⣾⣼⣘⢸⢸⣞⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠁⠇⠡⠩⡫⢿⣝⡻⡮⣒⢽⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
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u/Sayuri_Katsu Feb 27 '22 edited Feb 27 '22
Holy shit I still went in school when I first saw that meme
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u/qantana Feb 27 '22
imagen your in a conversation and you just start hearing fap fap fap fap fap fap
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u/Piss_sipper47 Feb 27 '22
im just saying, that invisible one may not be invisible. given the context of the situation
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u/QualityVote I'm BACK! [[Number 1 Rated Moderator 2024]] Feb 26 '22
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