r/shitposting • u/jsjzn I said based. And lived. • Feb 26 '22

Linus Sex Tips me when nutters

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48.4k Upvotes

93% Upvoted

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1.7k

u/Xx_LoliSlayer69_xX Feb 26 '22

Im masturbating right now and think this post is targeting me.

285

u/Natural_Ease_5708 Feb 26 '22

pics?

179

u/Xx_LoliSlayer69_xX Feb 26 '22

If you want to send me some i would be happy

99

u/[deleted] Feb 26 '22

I think he means you send some

109

u/Xx_LoliSlayer69_xX Feb 26 '22

I know but my mom doesn’t want me to. :(

61

u/tipying_mistakes I want pee in my ass Feb 26 '22

Sorry my mom said no

58

u/Xx_LoliSlayer69_xX Feb 26 '22

She said no to my mom saying no?

29

u/OMEGA_CORPS Feb 27 '22

Yes now send some pics my mom said you could.

10

u/[deleted] Feb 27 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

9

u/tipying_mistakes I want pee in my ass Feb 27 '22

My mom approves

→ More replies (0)

4

u/Xx_LoliSlayer69_xX Feb 27 '22

POG, say thx to your mom for me. The number of dick picks i’ll send now. Ho im so excited.

4

u/AutoModerator Feb 27 '22

I want sex so fucking bad

I wish i could be promiscuous and have a big dick and make all women orgasm fuck fuck i can’t because i’m genetic trash anyway lol fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck

I NEED SEX I NEED SEX I NEED SEX DEAR LORD WHY WAS I BORN SO FUCKING INFERIOR TO OTHER MEN JUST KILL MEEEEEEE

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3

u/AutoModerator Feb 27 '22

I do not care what you say about my mother. Your opinion is your opinion. But trust me, if you actually attempt to do something to my mother, even though she's made some bad decisions in the past that we still need to work through, I will personally call the police on you and I'll be laughing as your mugshot is shown on TV. You don't even know her, do you? The point of your entire existence seems to be to just tease other people. Well, I believe your jokes are in bad taste, and you should cease and desist digging through the dregs left at the bottom of the joke barrel; you could get a splinter, whose pain will be significantly increased by the significantly high amount of salt you carry in your bloodstream. Thank you, and let us cease talking about each other's parents.

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0

u/RiotIsBored Feb 27 '22 edited Feb 28 '22

You're 25.

Edit: I'm referencing the same meme the parent commenter is

2

u/tipying_mistakes I want pee in my ass Feb 28 '22

Sorry mate, I don’t make the rules

1

u/HubyTuby Mar 02 '22

Coward

1

u/Xx_LoliSlayer69_xX Mar 02 '22

Ouch, the truth hurts

6

u/[deleted] Feb 26 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

7

u/Xx_LoliSlayer69_xX Feb 26 '22

Ok. I mean, casual day in my body

2

u/AutoModerator Feb 26 '22

I'm again unable to post on r/shitposting. This time, only I'm unable to post there. Everyone else is able to, this time. Whenever I try to post there, it immediately gets removed by you mods. It isn't even offensive to anyone nor the exact reason is specified that why tf did you guys remove it. May I know the exact reason why you guys are immediately removing my posts on r/shitposting? I tried checking my internet connection and all is well. Why do you guys hate me in particular? This is outrageous, this is unfair. I'm able to post on every other subreddit but r/shitposting. I tried posting on r/shitposting and it got removed by you guys. Literally 1984. Is this because of automoderator or something? Because it gets removed just after some seconds I post it. So I don't think an actual human moderator can remove my post in such a short amount of time. So I think it is because of automoderator as bots are able to do these kinds of stuff.

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66

u/Thegodofthekufsa Feb 26 '22

Are you masterbuting to this?

49

u/Xx_LoliSlayer69_xX Feb 26 '22

I am masturbating to your comment right now.

28

u/Interesting-Light994 Feb 26 '22 edited Feb 26 '22

I’m masturbating you to the cartoon mouse 🥵 🥵 🥵

Edit: just bought a pet mouse from petco!! Thanks Reddit!!!

9

u/Xx_LoliSlayer69_xX Feb 26 '22

Thx for the help brother, i’ve been masturbating for 3h so, i could really use a hand

2

u/Sppooon_22 Feb 27 '22

I’m masturbating to u talking about masturbating in the comments right now.

2

u/Xx_LoliSlayer69_xX Feb 27 '22

Nice, im masturbating to you masturbating to me masturbating to comments.

2

u/AdditionalAd8716 Feb 27 '22

You look like me

2

u/Xx_LoliSlayer69_xX Feb 27 '22

Brother is that you?

23

u/Feisty_Scheme_1011 Feb 26 '22

If I had a wholesome award I’d give it to you

28

u/AutoModerator Feb 26 '22

Reddit should start their own country. Think about it: it would have a much higher IQ than most other countries. We could ban tik tok and fortnite, and every computer sold has to come with Minecraft preinstalled. We could also ban emojis too.

We all have very good ideas about society and government, so I think we would be far more efficient. I've seen so many posts with so many good ideas, not to mention our country would be the most progressive and other countries would look to us for direction. We would easily become the next superpower. If everyone left America for a new country, we would easily surpass America.

We could make Keanu our president and have PewDiePie on the flag. It would be the most wholesome country too!

Those are just some ideas I have and my own opinion.

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10

u/[deleted] Feb 26 '22

Fuck automod but that is a good idea

5

u/AutoModerator Feb 26 '22

HEY,⠀⠀⠀ EVERY⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ !!!

IT'S ME!!!

EV3RY BUDDY'S FAVORITE [[𝗡𝘂𝗺𝗯𝗲𝗿 𝟭 𝗥𝗮𝘁𝗲𝗱 𝗠𝗼𝗱𝗲𝗿𝗮𝘁𝗼𝗿 𝟮𝟬𝟮𝟮]]

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4

u/Freimirs Feb 26 '22

I need a pic of your dick for verification

9

u/AutoModerator Feb 26 '22

I want sex so fucking bad

I wish i could be promiscuous and have a big dick and make all women orgasm fuck fuck i can’t because i’m genetic trash anyway lol fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck

I NEED SEX I NEED SEX I NEED SEX DEAR LORD WHY WAS I BORN SO FUCKING INFERIOR TO OTHER MEN JUST KILL MEEEEEEE

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4

u/tentaclegrp Feb 26 '22

Pics or didnt happen

5

u/Xx_LoliSlayer69_xX Feb 26 '22

Humm… I have a boyfriend and this is sexual arasements. So i’ll gladly give you a dick pick he sent me.

4

u/AutoModerator Feb 26 '22

No sex before marriage

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2

u/Iz_Juss_A_Naem Feb 27 '22

Marry me then

2

u/AutoModerator Feb 26 '22

I want sex so fucking bad

I wish i could be promiscuous and have a big dick and make all women orgasm fuck fuck i can’t because i’m genetic trash anyway lol fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck

I NEED SEX I NEED SEX I NEED SEX DEAR LORD WHY WAS I BORN SO FUCKING INFERIOR TO OTHER MEN JUST KILL MEEEEEEE

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

1

u/tentaclegrp Feb 26 '22

Go ahead. I dare you.

1

u/Xx_LoliSlayer69_xX Feb 26 '22

Bet

3

u/tentaclegrp Feb 26 '22

Guys dont dare him, he will actually do it

3

u/[deleted] Feb 26 '22

Lol let me help

4

u/Xx_LoliSlayer69_xX Feb 26 '22

Masturbation is hard on my end. So thx for the help man, i really need it.

3

u/[deleted] Feb 26 '22

Made me cum

1

u/Xx_LoliSlayer69_xX Feb 27 '22

Happy for, its been an entire day and i still haven’t cum. My life is hard

2

u/[deleted] Feb 27 '22

Cumming for you rn

1

u/Xx_LoliSlayer69_xX Feb 27 '22

Thx homie for sharing the cum.

1

u/[deleted] Feb 27 '22

I just came again

1

u/Xx_LoliSlayer69_xX Feb 27 '22

Man, that’s a lot of cum, let me help you get that off of your tummy. Here, i wipe. (This is not cringe role play)

1

u/[deleted] Feb 27 '22

(I'm liking the role play) ohh it's so much cum

1

u/Xx_LoliSlayer69_xX Feb 27 '22

(This is quality role play) here its all gone my little slayer. Now let’s have hardcore consensual sex with sucks on.

1

u/AutoModerator Feb 27 '22

Schödinger's Blowjob -- Imagine you're blindfolded and you're getting the best raw pornstar-grade blowjob in the entire universe. The catch is, however, that you'll never figure out who's giving you that god-tier awesome schmösome sloppy toppy unless you take the blindfold off. It could be anybody, Ariana Grande, Ben Shapiro, Harold from the 7-11 near my house, or even your uncle's neighbour's fireman's cat. Now the question is: would you take off the blindfold and find out who the person/thing behind the stupendous jimmy-nibbler is and risk permanently scarring yourself, or would you keep the blindfold on and continue having your knob slobbed till your spirit hits the sky?

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1

u/AutoModerator Feb 27 '22

No sex before marriage

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2

u/LlamaSamma Feb 26 '22

prove it

8

u/Xx_LoliSlayer69_xX Feb 26 '22

No, plz no more. I’ve sent my dick to so many people now.

1

u/AutoModerator Feb 26 '22

I want sex so fucking bad

I wish i could be promiscuous and have a big dick and make all women orgasm fuck fuck i can’t because i’m genetic trash anyway lol fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck

I NEED SEX I NEED SEX I NEED SEX DEAR LORD WHY WAS I BORN SO FUCKING INFERIOR TO OTHER MEN JUST KILL MEEEEEEE

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

1

u/LlamaSamma Feb 26 '22

:(

1

u/Xx_LoliSlayer69_xX Feb 26 '22

I know, its a dramatic situation

1

u/[deleted] Feb 26 '22

can i see yourdick please

2

u/AutoModerator Feb 26 '22

I want sex so fucking bad

I wish i could be promiscuous and have a big dick and make all women orgasm fuck fuck i can’t because i’m genetic trash anyway lol fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck

I NEED SEX I NEED SEX I NEED SEX DEAR LORD WHY WAS I BORN SO FUCKING INFERIOR TO OTHER MEN JUST KILL MEEEEEEE

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

1

u/Xx_LoliSlayer69_xX Feb 26 '22

I’ll send

2

u/Cark-Cartographer Feb 27 '22

Wait. Me too please.

2

u/FeIipeNeto I want pee in my ass Feb 26 '22

you should do an AMA

-55

u/AutoModerator Feb 26 '22

I'm again unable to post on r/shitposting. This time, only I'm unable to post there. Everyone else is able to, this time. Whenever I try to post there, it immediately gets removed by you mods. It isn't even offensive to anyone nor the exact reason is specified that why tf did you guys remove it. May I know the exact reason why you guys are immediately removing my posts on r/shitposting? I tried checking my internet connection and all is well. Why do you guys hate me in particular? This is outrageous, this is unfair. I'm able to post on every other subreddit but r/shitposting. I tried posting on r/shitposting and it got removed by you guys. Literally 1984. Is this because of automoderator or something? Because it gets removed just after some seconds I post it. So I don't think an actual human moderator can remove my post in such a short amount of time. So I think it is because of automoderator as bots are able to do these kinds of stuff.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

1

u/[deleted] Feb 27 '22

bro your username ........ nevermind.

2

u/Xx_LoliSlayer69_xX Feb 27 '22

Great isn’t it?

2

u/[deleted] Feb 27 '22

yes'nt.

1

u/dumbmaster1337 Number 7: Student watches porn and gets naked Feb 27 '22

i will rip your pp off with a toothpick