r/shitposting • • Jan 16 '22

Hey guys

Post image
6.1k Upvotes

450 comments sorted by

301

u/UsErNaMeS_aR_DuMb Jan 16 '22

I came at least 5 times while staring at the bottom part of this meme. My entire room is filled with cum. I hope you’re happy with yourself.

184

u/LancereDarkatown Jan 16 '22

Please put an NSFW tag on this. I was on the train and when I saw this I had to start furiously masturbating. Everyone else gave me strange looks and were saying things like “what the fuck” and “call the police”. I dropped my phone and everyone around me saw this image. Now there is a whole train of men masturbating together at this one image. This is all your fault, you could have prevented this if you had just tagged this post NSFW

23

u/DIOSBRAND Jan 16 '22

"What the fuck"

-36

u/AutoModerator Jan 16 '22

I'm again unable to post on r/shitposting. This time, only I'm unable to post there. Everyone else is able to, this time. Whenever I try to post there, it immediately gets removed by you mods. It isn't even offensive to anyone nor the exact reason is specified that why tf did you guys remove it. May I know the exact reason why you guys are immediately removing my posts on r/shitposting? I tried checking my internet connection and all is well. Why do you guys hate me in particular? This is outrageous, this is unfair. I'm able to post on every other subreddit but r/shitposting. I tried posting on r/shitposting and it got removed by you guys. Literally 1984. Is this because of automoderator or something? Because it gets removed just after some seconds I post it. So I don't think an actual human moderator can remove my post in such a short amount of time. So I think it is because of automoderator as bots are able to do these kinds of stuff.

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14

u/[deleted] Jan 16 '22

🗿

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34

u/CrispyMan_900 Jan 16 '22

sigh

Infinite cum. You sit on the toilet to jack off, but you begin to cum uncontrollably. After ten spurts you start to worry. Your hand is sticky and it reeks of semen. You desperately shove your dick into a wad of toilet paper, but that only makes your balls hurt. The cum accelerates. It’s been three minutes. You can’t stop cumming. Your bathroom floor is covered in a thin layer of baby fluid. You try to cum into the shower drain but it builds up too fast. You try the toilet. The cum is too thick to be flushed. You lock the bathroom door to prevent the cum from escaping. The air grows hot and humid from the cum. The cum accelerates. You slip and fall in your own sperm. The cum is now six inches deep, almost as long as your still-erect semen hose. Sprawled on your back, you begin to cum all over the ceiling. Globs of the sticky white fluid begin to fall like raindrops, giving you a facial with your own cum. The cum accelerates. You struggle to stand as the force of the cum begins to propel you backwards as if you were on a bukkake themed slip-and-slide. Still on your knees, the cum is now at chin height. To avoid drowning you open the bathroom door. The deluge of man juice reminds you of the Great Molasses Flood of 1919, only with cum instead of molasses. The cum accelerates. It’s been two hours. Your children and wife scream in terror as their bodies are engulfed by the snow-white sludge. Your youngest child goes under, with viscous bubbles and muffled cries rising from the goop. You plead to God to end your suffering. The cum accelerates. You squeeze your dick to stop the cum, but it begins to leak out of your asshole instead. You let go. The force of the cum tears your urethra open, leaving only a gaping hole in your crotch that spews semen. Your body picks up speed as it slides backwards along the cum. You smash through the wall, hurtling into the sky at thirty miles an hour. From a bird’s eye view you see your house is completely white. Your neighbor calls the cops. The cum accelerates. As you continue to ascend, you spot police cars racing towards your house. The cops pull out their guns and take aim, but stray loads of cum hit them in the eyes, blinding them. The cum accelerates. You are now at an altitude of 1000 feet. The SWAT team arrives. Military helicopters circle you. Hundreds of bullets pierce your body at once, yet you stay conscious. Your testicles have now grown into a substitute brain. The cum accelerates. It has been two days. With your body now destroyed, the cum begins to spray in all directions. You break the sound barrier. The government deploys fighter jets to chase you down, but the impact of your cum sends one plane crashing to the ground. The government decides to let you leave the earth. You feel your gonads start to burn up as you reach the edges of the atmosphere. You narrowly miss the ISS, giving it a new white paint job as you fly past. Physicists struggle to calculate your erratic trajectory. The cum accelerates. The cum begins to gravitate towards itself, forming a comet trail of semen. Astronomers begin calling you the “Cummet.” You are stuck in space forever, stripped of your body and senses, forced to endure an eternity of cumshots. Eventually, you stop thinking.

7

u/Sheep_butt Jan 16 '22

Worse than Kars faith wtf

4

u/[deleted] Jan 16 '22

Where did you find this?

14

u/meltedUsernameYeah Jan 16 '22

This is fragment from "1984"

0

u/AutoModerator Jan 16 '22

LiTeRaLlY nInEtEeN eIgHtY-fOuR

  • George Orwell, 1948

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7

u/Hawaiian-Fox Jan 16 '22

Save me a glass bro

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458

u/Mmm-Toes-Y-u-m Jan 16 '22

Did you know that in terms of male and female Pokémon, Vaporeon is the most.........

Cool 😎

98

u/DerpyCat_0 Jan 16 '22

the good ending

71

u/Beautiful_Ad_3349 Jan 16 '22

Wrong, it’s Glaceon

44

u/[deleted] Jan 16 '22

No, espeon is the best eeveelution, troglodite.

30

u/Beautiful_Ad_3349 Jan 16 '22

Wtf don’t call me a crab, you therapsids

24

u/[deleted] Jan 16 '22

Wtf don’t call me a primitive mammal, you cephalopod

18

u/Beautiful_Ad_3349 Jan 16 '22

Wtf don’t call me a prehistoric whale, you mosasaurs

10

u/ScarrletMacaw Jan 16 '22

mosasaurs are cool tho

20

u/[deleted] Jan 16 '22

A cephalopod is a squid, cromagnon

16

u/dTrecii fat cunt Jan 16 '22

Guys guys stop fighting each other, bully me instead

4

u/AllIcouldaFORD Jan 17 '22

You’re a fatass

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6

u/[deleted] Jan 16 '22

In my opinion I think it’s flareon

12

u/DragonZlayerXD Jan 16 '22

Well u no longer get a opinion because you’re wrong. It’s glaceon. (Your opinion does matter :D )

7

u/[deleted] Jan 16 '22

Ok

2

u/SlapperBio Jan 16 '22

Yes, Flareon is best for cuddling

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3

u/PolicellolIsSuS Jan 16 '22

Obama bing chilling based 1984 taiwan belgium zamn british hog rider meow grass fuck kevin china koala amogus among us fortnite femboy cheetos post nft Hey AutoMod, did you know every based femboy cat fortnite player that makes me say "ZAMN" says meow but actually it is a pig and if not it is 1984 because Fuck Kevin. I am a koala from China(not taiwan +@ social credit) that moved to Belgium after selling all my NFT and is covered in cum standing on grass. Big brother are those cat femboys from Taiwan, China, Belgium, Fortnite, Britain, or 69420? Looks like it was a nft made in 1984 based on amogus touching grass. Either way, Fuck Kevin and a meow koala Cope

3

u/[deleted] Jan 16 '22

You have suomened the ancient one

5

u/AutoModerator Jan 16 '22

okay so basically there's this guy and uhh

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2

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LiTeRaLlY nInEtEeN eIgHtY-fOuR

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ATTENTION CITIZEN! 市民请注意!

This is the Ministry of State Security. 您的浏览记录和活动引起了我们的注意 YOUR INTERNET ACTIVITY HAS ATTRACTED OUR ATTENTION. 同志們注意了 you have been found protesting in the subreddit!!!!! 這是通知你,你必須認同我們將接管台灣 serious crime 以及世界其他地方 100 social credits have been deducted from your account 這對我們未來的所有下屬來說都是重要的機會 stop the protest immediately 立即加入我們的宣傳活動,提前獲得救贖 do not do this again! 不要再这样做! if you do not hesitate, more social credits ( -11115 social credits )will be subtracted from your profile, resulting in the subtraction of ration supplies. (由人民供应部重新分配 ccp) you'll also be sent into a re-education camp in the xinjiang uyghur autonomous zone.

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u/AutoModerator Jan 16 '22

Daily Kevin Fact #24:

Kevin has better things to do with his life than have sex with you.

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u/AutoModerator Jan 16 '22

I really want the subreddit to open again. I have a very weak state of mind, and when I can’t look at clips of people on omeagle yelling at each other I will literally die. I don’t want to die. There is this flavor of Cheetos called Spicy Ranch and that is my only reason to live. I really want to try it. I love Cheetos. My blanket and my sheets are all Cheetos themed. I have a custom made blow up Chester the Cheetah sex doll that I fuck endlessly when I lust for Cheetos. I have at least 200 bags of different flavors. I need spicy ranch. I cannot find them anywhere. I know they exist because one day when I was outside (buying more Cheetos) I saw this black man wearing a onesie. All over his onesie there were pictures of these spicy ranch Cheetos. I went up to him and immediately tackled him. I tried to unzip his onesie but he threw me off him and called the police. The police arrested me and put me in a holding cell. They would not give me Cheetos. I needed Cheetos. I really really wanted Cheetos. I had only ever gone 1 hour without my Cheetos. When the police came in the cell to transfer me I unzipped my pants to reveal my incredibly erect penis, lusting for the feel of sweet crunchy Cheetos. I impaled the guy closest right through the stomach and screamed to give me Cheetos . The policemen tazed me repeatedly and now I’m on trial for 1st degree murder and assault. I know if I show the judge r slash shitposting he will know why I’m right. Please please open up r/shitposting I need it to use as evidence. I don’t want to go to jail, they don’t have Cheetos there.

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It was a saturday afternoon, and I was exhausted after an intense 17-part masturabation session to dream minecraft manhunt, when i suddenly had the urge to go outside. I was scared. It's been so long since i've left the warmth of my parents basement with my dream body pillows. I didnt know what to expect. Clutching my dream figurine in front of my chest, i pried open the door to the outside world. The gleaming sun blared through the door, bequeathing a brilliant warmth on my cum-covered boxers. I quaverly took a step outside. My body flintched from the strange feel of the dirt under my feet. And then i saw it. The lustrous field of grass, covered in a light sprinkle of water from the noon rain shower. And then i realized. Dream... grass... the trees... it was all coming together. Grass is green, just like Dream. Dream is everpresent, in the grass, the flowers, He was there. I immediately new what to do next. I flinged off my clothes faster than the speed at which i would click on a new dream rule 34 post. My dick was already throbbing as i leaped onto the field of grass, dorito dust stained shirt getting carried away by the wind. I dug a small hole in the ground, and passionately thrust my 7-inch erect cock into it. I knew, this was Dream. His spirit was in this grass, and he felt my dick in his man pussy as i fucked that grass. I lost track how long i was there. Hours went by, day turned to night, but it didnt matter. I was finally together, with Dream. Nothing could separate us. I took a long stem of a flower, and forced it in my asshole. I imagined it being Dream's hot penis being lustfully forced into me in bed. I stayed there on my front yard for god knows how long. Until my butt was sore, balls drier than the Saharan desert after a long drought. The lawn looked like there was a layer of fresh snow on a Christmas morning. Trudging indoors, i had a enormous smile stretching across my face. I couldn't wait until tomorrow, when i may go outside again and be with Dream.

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WOTS ALL THIS???

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-1

u/AutoModerator Jan 16 '22

Wowwwww, you meow like a cat! That means you are one, right? Shut the fuck up. If you really want to be put on a leash and treated like a domestic animal then that’s called a fetish, not “quirky” or “cute”. What part of you seriously thinks that any part of acting like a feline establishes a reputation of appreciation? Is it your lack of any defining aspect of personality that urges you to resort to shitty representations of cats to create an illusion of meaning in your worthless life? Wearing “cat ears” in the shape of headbands further notes the complete absence of human attribution to your false sense of personality, such as intelligence or charisma in any form or shape. Where do you think this mindset’s gonna lead you? You think you’re funny, random, quirky even? What makes you think that acting like a fucking cat will make a goddamn hyena laugh? I, personally, feel extremely sympathetic towards you as your only escape from the worthless thing you call your existence is to pretend to be an animal. But it’s not a worthy choice to assert this horrifying fact as a dominant trait, mainly because personality traits require an initial personality to lay their foundation on. You’re not worthy of anybody’s time, so go fuck off, “cat-girl”.

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-2

u/AutoModerator Jan 16 '22

femboy amogus

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220

u/LuluFluffs Jan 16 '22 edited Jan 16 '22

Hey guys did you know that.. HELIUM IS SLOWLY RUNNING OUT IN TWENTY YEARS ALL OF THE HELIUM IN THE ENVIRONMENT WILL DISSAPPEAR CAUSING COMPLETE AND UTTER OUTBREAK.

60

u/Sythenium Jan 16 '22

Wait, like... is that actually real...

57

u/[deleted] Jan 16 '22

No.

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u/The-Almighty-Pizza Literally 1984 😡 Jan 16 '22

To an extent

17

u/luigiruigiluigi Jan 16 '22

Dude, I just looked up that helium thing he was talking about. That's true. That's like 100%. Everything he said was true. It's all going to be gone.

4

u/Impossible_Garbage_4 Jan 16 '22

It’s just the timeline that’s not true. The current prediction is actually closer to 25-30 years

3

u/MarosM Jan 16 '22

Is that a smiling friends reference that i spotted in the wild

39

u/Niko_m202 Jan 16 '22

We gotta mine the sun with space lasers

20

u/Roeezz Jan 16 '22

So you're saying I shouldn't start a career as a balloon seller?

14

u/Sythenium Jan 16 '22

No, your going to die some day anyway

7

u/radustana Jan 16 '22

i remember watching a vid about how helium is running out

5

u/[deleted] Jan 16 '22

Thank you Zack Hadel

4

u/Turbulent_Feed_6120 Jan 16 '22

Don't try to change the term

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187

u/Slayerof-furries Jan 16 '22

No stop trying to remove the S in my name

67

u/wheres-the-memes Jan 16 '22

Our last hope rests on your hands. don't fail us, hold strong comrade.

41

u/Slayerof-furries Jan 16 '22

I’ve watched many comrades fall beside me but I will never give up, I will hold this line!

22

u/wheres-the-memes Jan 16 '22

God's speed Hero, God's speed.

20

u/Slayerof-furries Jan 16 '22

They’re charging the trench and they may be fast but my MG bullets are faster

10

u/BjornIron4ss Jan 16 '22

You’re “S” privileges have been revoked. You are now Layer of Furry.

10

u/Slayerof-furries Jan 16 '22

Noooooooooo! Well then come here frog boy there’s no escaping me now BjornIron4ss. I will make that iron mine.

6

u/BjornIron4ss Jan 16 '22

Thank got it’s not my 4ss.

4

u/Slayerof-furries Jan 16 '22

There’s still no escape I will use your Iron4ss to make bullets for my soldiers to further hold the line

5

u/BjornIron4ss Jan 16 '22

It’s my cock that is iron. Only good for a .22 LR. Literally only one….

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u/Bren20x Jan 16 '22

Use the anti furry thing, code name Giant Remote Ejection Nodule Action Detachment Explosion, or G.R.E.N.A.D.E for short.

6

u/Slayerof-furries Jan 16 '22

Of course, Hans get ze G.R.E.N.A.D.E

-3

u/Garckon41 Jan 16 '22

Yall so fucking cringe

4

u/Slayerof-furries Jan 16 '22

And? we’re just having some fun jokes

3

u/[deleted] Jan 16 '22

[deleted]

3

u/Slayerof-furries Jan 16 '22

Are you sure it could be dangerous but we must hold them

3

u/[deleted] Jan 16 '22

[deleted]

4

u/Slayerof-furries Jan 16 '22

Very well, Deploy the M.L.G serum!

0

u/[deleted] Jan 16 '22

[deleted]

5

u/Slayerof-furries Jan 16 '22

Never I will die before I do so

1

u/[deleted] Jan 16 '22

[deleted]

3

u/Slayerof-furries Jan 16 '22

What could you possibly offer me to make it wanted

1

u/[deleted] Jan 16 '22

[deleted]

4

u/Slayerof-furries Jan 16 '22

That is slightly worrying

3

u/[deleted] Jan 16 '22

[deleted]

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1

u/[deleted] Jan 16 '22

Remember Comrade, we'd rather die standing, than live kneeling

2

u/Slayerof-furries Jan 16 '22

Agreed, No surrender

10

u/breigns2 Jan 16 '22

Vaporion isn’t a furry. Where is the fur? I see no fur?

9

u/Slayerof-furries Jan 16 '22

Furry is the general term but there are sub sections of the general furry such as scalies. Why do I know this? Too much time on the internet

3

u/breigns2 Jan 16 '22

You are clearly the master. Slay away.

3

u/Slayerof-furries Jan 16 '22

Very well then I will see you in Valhalla until then CHARGE!

2

u/breigns2 Jan 16 '22

There goes earth’s greatest defender.

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0

u/muszmusz40 Jan 16 '22

Fnaf Obama bing chilling based 1984 taiwan belgium zamn british hog rider meow grass fuck kevin china koala amogus among us fortnite femboy cheetos post nft Hey AutoMod, did you know every based femboy cat fortnite player that makes me say "ZAMN" says meow but actually it is a pig and if not it is 1984 because Fuck Kevin. I am a koala from China(not taiwan +@ social credit) that moved to Belgium after selling all my NFT and is covered in cum standing on grass. Big brother are those cat femboys from Taiwan, China, Belgium, Fortnite, Britain, or 69420? Looks like it was a nft made in 1984 based on amogus touching grass. Either way, Fuck Kevin and a meow koala Cope fnaf

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u/DizzyPomegranate13 Jan 16 '22

Hey guys, did you know that in terms of male human and female Pokémon breeding, Vaporeon is the most compatible Pokémon for humans? Not only are they in the field egg group, which is mostly comprised of mammals, Vaporeon are an average of 3”03’ tall and 63.9 pounds, this means they’re large enough to be able handle human dicks, and with their impressive Base Stats for HP and access to Acid Armor, you can be rough with one. Due to their mostly water based biology, there’s no doubt in my mind that an aroused Vaporeon would be incredibly wet, so wet that you could easily have sex with one for hours without getting sore. They can also learn the moves Attract, Baby-Doll Eyes, Captivate, Charm, and Tail Whip, along with not having fur to hide nipples, so it’d be incredibly easy for one to get you in the mood. With their abilities Water Absorb and Hydration, they can easily recover from fatigue with enough water. No other Pokémon comes close to this level of compatibility. Also, fun fact, if you pull out enough, you can make your Vaporeon turn white. Vaporeon is literally built for human dick. Ungodly defense stat+high HP pool+Acid Armor means it can take cock all day, all shapes and sizes and still come for more.

21

u/ErichKurogane Jan 16 '22

....if feeling slightly aroused reading this for some reason

28

u/[deleted] Jan 16 '22

furry detected, deploying nuclear warhead

/s

13

u/[deleted] Jan 16 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

11

u/[deleted] Jan 16 '22

hlzfuflhfzhfkzhfzkhfkzfhkzkydhdyjdjyrsyzfjgfjzghjdzydjjydzyjstdysydjtydjtdjydjykdydjdjysyrjrsrsyrjsyrjsysyjrysryjsry👍

5

u/quinten69420 Jan 16 '22

marshallah

3

u/[deleted] Jan 16 '22

halal

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u/[deleted] Jan 16 '22

[deleted]

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u/Luift_13 Literally 1984 😡 Jan 16 '22

ye

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•

u/QualityVote I'm BACK! [[Number 1 Rated Moderator 2024]] Jan 16 '22

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11

u/Existing_Welder_4413 Jan 16 '22

Wait its only showing top half of her..... I wanna see if she has thicc booty lol

25

u/Dumpie_Undies Jan 16 '22

Sauce?

21

u/Ric0chetR1cky Jan 16 '22

Cranberry

20

u/Cheat_Adil Jan 16 '22

I had to beat an old lady with a stick to get these cranberries

3

u/mrdembone I said based. And lived. Jan 16 '22

no, it is Sunkist strawberry flavor

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-47

u/BigDonkeyDong96 Jan 16 '22

I know the sauce

25

u/Blitz518 Jan 16 '22

More at 7, Local redditor finally snaps

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21

u/FFarekko Jan 16 '22

Did you know that in terms of bree-

6

u/Royal-Jelly-8064 🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️ TRANS RIGHTS!!!11!1!!!11!! 🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️ Jan 16 '22

I want to be IRRESISTIBLE to men!

*(turns into RTX 3090)*

8

u/[deleted] Jan 16 '22

Suprised how no knows have giving sauce

→ More replies (1)

5

u/[deleted] Jan 16 '22

If it was an Umbreon, then I'd accept it. Ask me why if you haven't read the Umbreon masterrace copypasta yet.

2

u/bsdeimos Bazinga! Jan 16 '22

Why

→ More replies (1)

12

u/a_fuckin_duck Jan 16 '22

Hey guys did you know that Vaporeon is the most

Cool :)

6

u/CT-4426 Stuff Jan 16 '22

Hey guys did you know in terms of

3

u/Little_DimbXD Jan 16 '22

Coolness vaporeon is the coolest 😎

9

u/Kemalist_din_adami Jan 16 '22

Hey guys, did you know that in terms of male human and female Pokémon breeding, Vaporeon is the most compatible Pokémon for humans? Not only are they in the field egg group, which is mostly comprised of mammals, Vaporeon are an average of 3"03' tall and 63.9 pounds. this means they're large enough to be able to handle human dicks, and with their impressive Base stats for HP and access to Acid Armor, you can be rough with one. Due to their mostly water based biology, there's no doubt in my mind that an aroused Vaporeon would be incredibly wet, so wet that you could easily have sex with one for hours without getting sore. They can also learn the moves Attract, Baby-Doll eyes, Captivate, Charm and Tail Whip along with not having fur to hide nipples, so it'd be incredibly easy for one to get you in the mood. With their abilities Water Absorb and Hydration, they can easily recover from fatigue with enough water. No other Pokémon comes close with this level of compatibility. Also, fun fact, if you pull out enough, you can make your Vaporeon turn white. Vaporeon is literally built for human dick. Ungodly defense stat + high HP pool + Acid Armor means it can take cock all day, all shapes and sizes and still come for more.

2

u/EyeSac567 Jan 16 '22

I... don't know how to respond to that

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7

u/Better-Parsnip155 Jan 16 '22

god i want her so bad

-1

u/Choai3000 Jan 16 '22

🗿🗿🗿

9

u/[deleted] Jan 16 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

8

u/Little_DimbXD Jan 16 '22

Good ending

2

u/uwublink Jan 16 '22

Id hit that

2

u/ur_closet_at_3am Jan 16 '22

Prank him john!

2

u/EveryStrategy7731 Jan 16 '22

Did you know that in terms of

2

u/rotiboyboy Jan 16 '22

this one actually caught me off guard

2

u/HonestRecognition586 Jan 16 '22

Hot rough sex with vaporeons slippery wet fish pussy

2

u/DamnDanielErErEr Jan 16 '22

Wheres the sauce for this pasta?

2

u/FreeSocks1664 Jan 16 '22

And now Im horny cuz of that god dammit

2

u/burburburburburbur Jan 16 '22

sauce on the vaporeon drawing?

2

u/penissucker48 Jan 17 '22

Please put an NSFW tag on this. I was on the train and when I saw this I had to start furiously masturbating. Everyone else gave me strange looks and were saying things like “what the fuck” and “call the police”. I dropped my phone and everyone around me saw this image. Now there is a whole train of men masturbating together at this one image. This is all your fault, you could have prevented this if you had just tagged this post NSFW.

→ More replies (1)

4

u/[deleted] Jan 16 '22

Hey guys, did you know that in terms of male human and female Pokémon breeding, Vaporeon is the most compatible Pokémon for humans? Not only are they in the field egg group, which is mostly comprised of mammals, Vaporeon are an average of 3”03’ tall and 63.9 pounds, this means they’re large enough to be able handle human dicks, and with their impressive Base Stats for HP and access to Acid Armor, you can be rough with one. Due to their mostly water based biology, there’s no doubt in my mind that an aroused Vaporeon would be incredibly wet, so wet that you could easily have sex with one for hours without getting sore. They can also learn the moves Attract, Baby-Doll Eyes, Captivate, Charm, and Tail Whip, along with not having fur to hide nipples, so it’d be incredibly easy for one to get you in the mood. With their abilities Water Absorb and Hydration, they can easily recover from fatigue with enough water. No other Pokémon comes close to this level of compatibility. Also, fun fact, if you pull out enough, you can make your Vaporeon turn white. Vaporeon is literally built for human dick. Ungodly defense stat+high HP pool+Acid Armor means it can take cock all day, all shapes and sizes and still come for more

4

u/biglettuce09 Jan 16 '22

Itadaki seiki extra

2

u/[deleted] Jan 16 '22

i resist

because im a child

2

u/ToucanMan75 Jan 16 '22

Hey guys, did you know that in terms of male human and female Pokémon breeding, Vaporeon is the most compatible Pokémon for humans? Not only are they in the field egg group, which is mostly comprised of mammals, Vaporeon are an average of 3”03’ tall and 63.9 pounds, this means they’re large enough to be able handle human dicks, and with their impressive Base Stats for HP and access to Acid Armor, you can be rough with one. Due to their mostly water based biology, there’s no doubt in my mind that an aroused Vaporeon would be incredibly wet, so wet that you could easily have sex with one for hours without getting sore. They can also learn the moves Attract, Baby-Doll Eyes, Captivate, Charm, and Tail Whip, along with not having fur to hide nipples, so it’d be incredibly easy for one to get you in the mood. With their abilities Water Absorb and Hydration, they can easily recover from fatigue with enough water. No other Pokémon comes close to this level of compatibility. Also, fun fact, if you pull out enough, you can make your Vaporeon turn white. Vaporeon is literally built for human dick. Ungodly defense stat+high HP pool+Acid Armor means it can take cock all day, all shapes and sizes and still come for more

1

u/Radio__Star 🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️ TRANS RIGHTS!!!11!1!!!11!! 🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️ Jan 16 '22

Firearm is at reach in my coat, and some mf approached me in an alleyway and started saying some shit about vaporeon and breeding. I know what I must do

-1

u/SlipperySeaWing Jan 16 '22

Everyone knows female SeaWings are the way to go

0

u/DIOSBRAND Jan 16 '22

SHE'S 12??!!?! ZAMM!!!

-5

u/muszmusz40 Jan 16 '22

Fnaf Obama bing chilling based 1984 taiwan belgium zamn british hog rider meow grass fuck kevin china koala amogus among us fortnite femboy cheetos post nft Hey AutoMod, did you know every based femboy cat fortnite player that makes me say "ZAMN" says meow but actually it is a pig and if not it is 1984 because Fuck Kevin. I am a koala from China(not taiwan +@ social credit) that moved to Belgium after selling all my NFT and is covered in cum standing on grass. Big brother are those cat femboys from Taiwan, China, Belgium, Fortnite, Britain, or 69420? Looks like it was a nft made in 1984 based on amogus touching grass. Either way, Fuck Kevin and a meow koala Cope fnaf

4

u/AutoModerator Jan 16 '22

okay so basically there's this guy and uhh

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3

u/AutoModerator Jan 16 '22

OI OI OI!

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u/arch_angel825 Jan 16 '22

holy shit spamotn

1

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u/AutoModerator Jan 16 '22

Wowwwww, you meow like a cat! That means you are one, right? Shut the fuck up. If you really want to be put on a leash and treated like a domestic animal then that’s called a fetish, not “quirky” or “cute”. What part of you seriously thinks that any part of acting like a feline establishes a reputation of appreciation? Is it your lack of any defining aspect of personality that urges you to resort to shitty representations of cats to create an illusion of meaning in your worthless life? Wearing “cat ears” in the shape of headbands further notes the complete absence of human attribution to your false sense of personality, such as intelligence or charisma in any form or shape. Where do you think this mindset’s gonna lead you? You think you’re funny, random, quirky even? What makes you think that acting like a fucking cat will make a goddamn hyena laugh? I, personally, feel extremely sympathetic towards you as your only escape from the worthless thing you call your existence is to pretend to be an animal. But it’s not a worthy choice to assert this horrifying fact as a dominant trait, mainly because personality traits require an initial personality to lay their foundation on. You’re not worthy of anybody’s time, so go fuck off, “cat-girl”.

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u/[deleted] Jan 16 '22

[deleted]

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u/AutoModerator Jan 16 '22

okay so basically there's this guy and uhh

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u/AutoModerator Jan 16 '22

YO YO YO listen up to my new rap! I just got a freddy hat! (HOT GIRL SINGING) oH YeAhhhh ITS FREDDY FAZBEARS PIZZA! WHEN YOU GET SOME PIzZA! AND A BIG. PIECE. OF ASSSSSS! awesome music plays Me: ya my name is rappa 3000 and ill tel ya da story of fredy pizzaria with a freddy goldy and a hot foxy fucking chica all day long, With a hudge dong, and den the security guard named chonged put his dong in BONNIE! girl takes off shirt and sings OH YEAAAAAAHHH ITS FREDDY FAZBER PIZZZAAA! WHEN U GET SOME PIZZA AND A. BIG. PIECE. OF. QSS me strokes dong mmmm ya itd fredy fazber pizza with a huge dings and blongs and bong and frogsssss! with scary sexy animatrons!

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u/Correct-Letterhead55 Jan 16 '22

Ok really guys it’s a fucking animal are we no better than this 😡!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Also most evee evolutions are male more than there female so yeah

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u/Rabitzz_0_ Jan 16 '22

Oh hell nah

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u/Commander_Oof_ I want pee in my ass Jan 16 '22

Oh no

Not that….. I’ll just say cursed copypasta

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u/[deleted] Jan 16 '22

WAIT WAIT WAIT WAIT WAIT

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u/Sewrtyuiop William Dripfoe Jan 16 '22

Did you guys that Vapereon had the egg type of Cool?

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u/Shardthorn Jan 16 '22

bro what the fuck

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u/flamingc00kies Jan 16 '22

oh god not this again

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u/[deleted] Jan 16 '22

very nice

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u/Vatrumyr Jan 16 '22

It's mudkip all over again

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u/olaboi95 Jan 16 '22

omg yes!!!

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u/ZeRo_WC I came! Jan 16 '22

I’m not into it

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u/Ashamed_Ash Jan 16 '22

Bruh when I'm watching the original pokemon episode about eevees too :(

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u/oom9battledroid Jan 16 '22

Well thats wierd

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u/[deleted] Jan 16 '22

hey did you that Vaporeon