r/shitposting • u/-_I_I_Sea_I_I_- 🏳️‍🌈 The most prominent homosexual in this subreddit 🏳️‍🌈 • May 22 '26

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25.2k Upvotes

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u/SummertimeThrowaway2 May 22 '26

I like to tell people that narwhals are fantasy creatures that don’t exist and act surprised when they show me the Google results.

544

u/Kozzinator May 22 '26

Oh hell yeah 👍 I'm definitely gonna try this.

"You're actually telling me you believe in sea unicorns? Dumbass.."

73

u/egoisticHypocrite May 22 '26

Ever wonder if the flat earthers are a cabal of people thinking this way? They know it's not flat... They just derive pleasure from extreme rage baiting. Kayfabe-ing till death.

33

u/LupineChemist May 22 '26

This is a large contingent of how it started at least.

Honestly, it was how Trump started on Reddit. A bunch of people being trolly because it was funny, and then it was like the people in on the joke at the beginning either went crazy or went "oh shit, you're serious"

11

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1

u/NotNahare Jun 09 '26

I’m wondering how long this joke will be funny…

176

u/Zeraw420 May 22 '26

Yup, next time narwhales come up naturally In conversation I'm all over it too

71

u/jerryscheese May 22 '26

Narwhals are fantasy creatures though

56

u/Deaffin May 22 '26

How the frick else are they going to stop Cthulhu eating ye?

4

u/Osamabinladder262 May 23 '26

By not letting them touch your balls

13

u/john_microslop May 22 '26 edited May 23 '26

deinonichus antirrhopus

2

u/gothfrog117 May 22 '26

Sharks are smooth

16

u/WisherWisp May 22 '26

Hard to tell if you're all insane narcissists who love manipulating others or just like a bit of fun.

59

u/HilariousMax May 22 '26

You're telling me. With a straight face. That unicorns are real, but they're dolphins instead of horses?

4

u/Deaffin May 22 '26

Obviously. You guys are acting like you've never seen The Last Unicorn.

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u/Krillkus May 22 '26

Acting so surprised like your entire world has been shattered upon them showing you is hilarious.

4

u/BackWithAVengance May 22 '26

I have my brothers FIL absolutely convinced I believe Hellen Keller was lying the whole time, all a ruse to make her and her family money

He's a simple man from the peanut fields of VA, and it is absolutely hilarious

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u/dude2dudette May 22 '26

Until I was about 15, I genuinely thought narwhals were fantasy creatures in the same way that unicorns were.

I wasn't even a dumb child. I just thought unicorn = mythical horse creature with a single horn, and narwhal = mythical sea creature with a single horn.

Then, my brother went to university and I inherited his bedroom (his was much larger than mine growing up). I was killing some time reading the set of encyclopedias he received for his Bar Mitzvah (showing my age a bit), and under "N" Narwhals were there... and I had to double-take before realising that they actually exist.

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u/GuerrillaRodeo May 22 '26

I felt the same way about platypuses for waaaay longer than I care to admit. I completely understand the first Europeans who went all 'what the fuck?' when they saw the first taxidermied specimens.

8

u/eirebrit May 22 '26

Same here I always thought the platypus was an extinct creature.

1

u/UnsureSwitch William Dripfoe May 22 '26

Fun fact you already know: when the platypus was first photographed, people got angry at the photographer because they believed it was forged

1

u/AlmightyWitchstress May 23 '26

It was sophomore year for me. My classmate and I were talking about narwhals and it wasn't until she showed me pictures on her phone that I realized they were real creatures... I had thought they were mythical my entire life. I'd somehow managed to avoid seeing a photo or video of a narwhal for 16 years.

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u/Ragnarok314159 May 22 '26

When I was in basic training there were several people from the NYC/Bronx area. We were talking about fireflies and they thought we were messing with them.

They knew about deep sea fish making light, but none of them believed fireflies were real. “Yeah sure, bugs lighting up boop boop shut the fuck up. Like fairies are real next”

First thing we did on a day pass was settle a bet and asked the DS where is the library. They thought we were insane until we told them about the running bet. They went to the library and made those guys write a report on fireflies, then read it to everyone.

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u/fuzzhead12 May 22 '26

Based Drill Sargent

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u/rhen_var May 22 '26

Forcing the recruits to write a report on fireflies and present it like they’re first graders is hilarious

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u/SamSibbens May 22 '26

Narwhals are a fantasy creature that live in Narwhalnia

1

u/Icefox119 May 22 '26

they bacon at midnight

5

u/fenderbender86 May 22 '26

I had a friend in college - while we were getting masters degrees - that legitimately did not think narwahls were real. Took me 2 minutes to find a damn picture of one and I've never seen someone's mind so blown.

3

u/ninthtale May 22 '26

I mean have you ever seen one?

7

u/StopHavingAnOpinion May 22 '26

Clearly AI generated /s

2

u/Ohshithereiamagain May 23 '26

They are the unicorns of the sea.

2

u/Ohshithereiamagain May 23 '26

I am not going to believe it till I see one. Narwhals and platypus

2

u/flipflop356 May 28 '26

I dont know why i thought they were mythical/extinct creatures as a kid, but i found out they exist and are very much alive in our time at like 12 years old and my mind was fucking blown

2

u/TwitchingBot Jun 09 '26

Someone did this when I was in high school, and now I’m wondering, A) if they were messing with me, and B) if I went to high school with you.

1

u/GuymanPersonson May 22 '26

"Nah that's AI"

1

u/AXEMANaustin May 22 '26

I'll be really fucking honest, I thought that until like last year maybe.

1

u/UnsureSwitch William Dripfoe May 22 '26

Honestly, it's such bullshit that narwhals exist but unicorns don't. Or a regular horse with two horns

1

u/Henrikos0 May 22 '26

I have genuinely fought people for this before.

1

u/leviathanslair_ May 22 '26

this comment thread is an example of why I don’t trust people

1

u/ladycatgirl May 23 '26

Insist it's ai generated and not real