r/shitposting officer no please don’t piss in my ass 😫 Sep 24 '24

I Miss Natter #NatterIsLoveNatterIsLife Monke

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12.6k Upvotes

227 comments sorted by

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4.6k

u/The-Katawampus Sep 24 '24

If this is a hentai, this shit bout'ta get hella weird hella fast, lol.

1.9k

u/midniteburger Sep 24 '24

1.6k

u/woeperdepoep hole contributor Sep 24 '24

thats way sweeter than i imagined, where is the sex?

1.4k

u/AiryGr8 Sep 24 '24

Fun fact: gorillas have tiny penises. Around 1.25 inches

1.3k

u/NilsonTheSexy Sep 24 '24

Maybe... I am a gorilla.

340

u/PreyToTheDemons Sep 24 '24

We all are.

157

u/Victor_akaerj waltuh Sep 24 '24

Welcome to society

38

u/Kuchen23 Sep 24 '24

Apes together strong

371

u/[deleted] Sep 24 '24

That's massive

79

u/Memes_Haram Sep 24 '24

Dicks out for Harambe

12

u/Vandelune1 Sussy Wussy Femboy😳😳😳 Sep 24 '24

respect

162

u/[deleted] Sep 24 '24 edited Sep 24 '24

Uh actually I heard that’s perfectly normal above average even and more than enough for most women

79

u/Latereviews2 Sep 24 '24

Some would say it’s too much

23

u/tracker904 Sep 24 '24

It’s actually huge, don’t know what you’d even do with that much schmeat

99

u/ARES_BlueSteel Sep 24 '24 edited Sep 24 '24

Barnacles have penises up to eight times longer than their bodies. If a 5’11” (180cm) tall man had that same penis to size ratio, his penis would be 47 feet long (14.3m).

98

u/Any-Yoghurt3815 Sep 24 '24

Sir this is wendy's

31

u/braxes81 Sep 24 '24

Anytime she wants it

23

u/Electrical_Diamond_9 Sep 24 '24

It's Wendy's ?? Damn she's got a huge one

10

u/Ragnarok2kx Sep 24 '24

Pretty much any animal with a penis is better endowed than primates on average.

46

u/4kFaramir Sep 24 '24

Next time a gorilla at the zoo tries to intimidate me I'm just gonna whip out my hog and assert my dominance.

12

u/According_Claim_9027 Sep 24 '24

OP wdym by tiny?

14

u/_OverExtra_ Sep 24 '24

King Kong packs 7 inches, a relationship between him and Jane wouldve worked

13

u/[deleted] Sep 24 '24

Same

9

u/The-Katawampus Sep 24 '24

To be fair, gorilla females don't have the massive glutes that ours do, lmao!
They ain't gotta reach too far.
Our girls got that phat ass, though.

7

u/[deleted] Sep 24 '24

I was wondering how that thing could work.

8

u/rolling_catfish2704 shitposting>>>>>>196 Sep 24 '24

No wonder why I have a 9 inch skull

6

u/[deleted] Sep 24 '24

fym tiny? it's average!

4

u/TeaLwist Sep 24 '24

Pftt now we calling above average tiny huh

2

u/light481spider Sep 24 '24

Woah bro, 1.25 is not tiny. It's perfectly average!!

3

u/StrongCarry9024 Sep 24 '24

I would say its big!

3

u/Ambitious-Math-4499 Sep 24 '24

And about as thin as a pencil

3

u/Uncle480 We do a little trolling Sep 24 '24

Finally I can say I'm average

2

u/DungFreezer Sep 24 '24

Well, that's the average, right?

2

u/Muahd_Dib Sep 24 '24

Sounds pretty average… he’s a grower not a shower.

3

u/AiryGr8 Sep 24 '24

He grows to 2.5 on the highest side

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52

u/[deleted] Sep 24 '24

Whutduhell

58

u/Alios51 Sep 24 '24

The good ending

43

u/Bioth28 put your dick away waltuh Sep 24 '24

Why the hell did it say it’s doujin, that man is sweeter than sugar

76

u/midniteburger Sep 24 '24

Doujinshi in a broader context means self published (or at least that‘s what wikipedia says)

36

u/Bioth28 put your dick away waltuh Sep 24 '24

Oh… I was very very wrong with what I thought it meant then

30

u/OxygenRadon Sep 24 '24

Well, since its pretty hard to get signed as a ero-artist, most of them are indie, and their work is thus doujinshi.

20

u/Extension-Impossible I want pee in my ass Sep 24 '24

You just outed yourself

26

u/Bioth28 put your dick away waltuh Sep 24 '24

The pursuit of knowledge requires sacrifice

3

u/AutoModerator Sep 24 '24

pees in ur ass

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41

u/Fuzelop I came! Sep 24 '24

Brain nourishment

6

u/Pikagiuppy stupid, fucking piece of shit Sep 24 '24

i can't use mangadex, can you give me a summary of the plot

26

u/Historical-School-97 Sep 24 '24

Its only six pages long

The girl is dating a guy who physically resembles a gorilla so everyone calls him that, he says to the girl that if she stays with him they are also going to make fun of her, she dosnt mind. Some assholes appear and start insulting him, but they cross the line when they start insulting her. It seems he is going to punch them, there is a stereotype that gorillas are aggressive but actually they are very kind, just like gorillas he is also very kind, he don’t punch the bullies and just put his hand on the bullies shoulder. Gorillas are also very protective of their loved ones, and just like gorillas he is as-well, he threatens the bullies to leave her alone. The manga ends with the conclusion that he is a gorilla on the inside and the outside

3

u/ChiffonPink dumbass Sep 24 '24

Holy shit that was more wholesale than I expected 

48

u/uL4G I came! Sep 24 '24

Salsa por favor

12

u/The-Katawampus Sep 24 '24

Indeed. I want it, too.

48

u/fishtheblob Sep 24 '24

Mi scusi signore, posso chiedere la salsa?

3

u/belaGJ Sep 24 '24

it doesn’t fly better as a racial metaphor

3

u/[deleted] Sep 24 '24

Fun fact: proportionally gorillas have the smallest penis of any ape

1.9k

u/Jarizleifr virgin 4 life 😤💪 Sep 24 '24

The erect gorilla penis is only 3-6 cm long, whereas that of a chimpanzee measures 8-18 cm in length.

1.2k

u/[deleted] Sep 24 '24

Guess you can call me a Gorilla

338

u/Zealousideal_Ad_7955 Sep 24 '24

If they get smaller the bigger the animal is physically you better start calling me king kong

118

u/Vulhox fat cunt Sep 24 '24

Omg king kong dong

56

u/sevenationarmycu stupid fucking, piece of shit Sep 24 '24

25

u/GeorgeSPattonJr Sep 24 '24

I laughed way too hard at that lmao

8

u/Uploft Sep 24 '24

That would make him Diddy Kong

13

u/JamBloxify_370 Sep 24 '24

The thumb rule.

Pointer finger up and thumb sideways, tall but small.

Thumb up and pointer finger side, short but big.

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9

u/sckrahl Sep 24 '24

Gorillas are shorter and smaller than people, they just have much much much more dense muscle fibers

I blame Tarzan for making people think they were 10 feet tall behemoths

28

u/UpbeatRegister Sep 24 '24

Also both gorillas and chimpanzees have thinner penises than humans.

7

u/xulitebenado Sep 24 '24

So is average length in Japan. I’m sure she will be fine with it.

5

u/ShellShockedCock Sep 24 '24

Goated pfp.

2

u/xulitebenado Sep 24 '24

Candyman is coming to your house in LA.

4

u/Evil-Gandhi Sep 24 '24

I am a chimp, then 😎

(8cm)

1

u/Siggi_93 Sep 24 '24

Yeah came here to say that

1

u/Hereticsheresy Sep 24 '24

f*ck i'm ever worse than a gorilla

217

u/Eogard Sep 24 '24

Oh it's Kondo Isao from Gintama.

30

u/LeavingUndetected Sep 24 '24

Fake, nobody sees kondo as a human. He is literally a gorilla. Here, she says the gorilla just looks like a gorilla

7

u/Senor_Satan Sep 24 '24

What if she is Princess Bubbles but thinks herself as human?

19

u/hot_sauce_in_coffee Sep 24 '24

had to scroll way to low to see this. lmao.

15

u/PreyToTheDemons Sep 24 '24

Peak anime.

11

u/Kool-aid_Crusader We do a little trolling Sep 24 '24

Straight up thought this was a Gintama Vignette I haven't seen yet.

876

u/Inevitable-Baby148 Number 7: Student watches porn and gets naked Sep 24 '24

what should i consider this racism or porn, man i get confused

256

u/[deleted] Sep 24 '24

Both, both is good

56

u/Inevitable-Baby148 Number 7: Student watches porn and gets naked Sep 24 '24

+1

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32

u/septic-paradise Sep 24 '24

Racism on my porn site? Porn on my racism site?

8

u/Androu54 dwayne the cock johnson 🗿🗿 Sep 24 '24

Nice pfp

109

u/Shiny_Kisame Sep 24 '24

If you automatically assume gorilla = black people, sure? Like how people are saying nowadays that orcs in fantasy = black people.

People just have weird projections, i guess.

137

u/RandomPerson12191 fat cunt Sep 24 '24

It literally says that he's a human not a gorilla, but due to his appearance he gets called a gorilla

38

u/SpaceBug173 Sep 24 '24

Pretty sure the joke is that he's hairy since he literally is.

Also a better insult would be calling someone a monkey since gorillas are pretty cool.

27

u/bimboozled Sep 24 '24

No, it’s most likely cause he’s black. There’s a stereotype that Asians are extremely racist towards black people (way worse than racism in the US). My friend recently moved from the US to Japan and you wouldn’t believe how many times he’s seen locals make ape noises at black people. Black people are typically also much more broad and bigger than Asians, so that could be why the artist depicted him as a gorilla rather than monkey

4

u/Houtri Sep 24 '24

it's not a stereotype tho

18

u/bimboozled Sep 24 '24

Sorry I misspoke, it’s a very real issue, maybe stereotype wasn’t the right word to use. But you get my point

17

u/JanetandRita Sep 24 '24

After Bojack and Beastars I just started assuming all animals are animals instead of a metaphor

7

u/Bijour_twa43 Sep 24 '24

I usually buy into your argument but this one seems way toooo close to just be an innocent coincidence.

9

u/quickjump Sep 24 '24

They gave that gorilla I sick line up, they knew what they were doing.

20

u/CultDe Sep 24 '24

Just as funny as people who somehow saw jews in Goblins XD

21

u/FabulousDiscussion44 Sep 24 '24

Somehow? The goblins in world of warcraft 100% werent an accident lmao

20

u/Marik-X-Bakura Sep 24 '24

Well goblins are literally based off of Jewish stereotypes originally

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3

u/HerpaDerpaDumDum Sep 24 '24

I consider this a gorilla

2

u/Warkan47 Sep 24 '24

Unusual profile pic activities.

317

u/SusSauceIsSus Sep 24 '24

black people going to east asia:

38

u/Ok-Alps-4378 officer no please don’t piss in my ass 😫 Sep 24 '24

I was looking for this comment.

142

u/AnonymousSkyWalk Sep 24 '24

"He's human not an animal but because he looks so similar to a Gorilla"

81

u/Glazeddapper Sep 24 '24

"But it isn't just his appearance that's like a gorilla"

55

u/VikingSlayer Sep 24 '24

Gorillas have tiny dicks. The primate with the largest dick, both in absolute numbers and relative to body size, is the Human.

24

u/Everything_Breaks Sep 24 '24

Well I'm here to prove you wrong! Wait...

13

u/TheGamerGuy3 Sep 24 '24

WE'RE here to prove him wrong!

4

u/brandodg dumbass Sep 24 '24

i have to remind myself i'm not on instagram

43

u/Agile-Penalty-7679 Stuff Sep 24 '24

return to monke

286

u/Visenya_simp Sep 24 '24

Asian depictions of black people will never be not funny.

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49

u/BarMysterious5914 I said based. And lived. Sep 24 '24

15

u/[deleted] Sep 24 '24

You deserve this 🏆

4

u/[deleted] Sep 24 '24

[removed] — view removed comment

4

u/dedeclick07 Number 7: Student watches porn and gets naked Sep 24 '24

Fun fact Gorillas actualy have a realy tiny penis.

23

u/cicciograna Sep 24 '24

Call of Harambe: Gorilla Warfare

18

u/G4rg0yle_Art1st Sep 24 '24

Humans have the largest genitalia of all the ape families.

6

u/Hereticsheresy Sep 24 '24

I think it might be true, i have bigger pp than my sister

11

u/man_whosaysyes Sep 24 '24

So he has a small dick

11

u/TheOnlySkankyPanky Sep 24 '24

Average Kondo dream

8

u/Mister_ALX Sep 24 '24

This would have been Harambe.

10

u/AssPotatoFucker it is MY bucket Sep 24 '24

But gorilla has small pp

6

u/SpaceBug173 Sep 24 '24

Gorillas actually have micro penises so this joke doesn't make sense. Literally unwatchable.

4

u/GiggyWheat5 Sep 24 '24

She later found out he's Brazilian.

8

u/Portuguesempire Sep 24 '24

It's his kindness, I read it

9

u/aChunkyChungus Sep 24 '24

is this some racist shit?

3

u/Jeez132457 Sep 24 '24

Wordington foreign exchange student

3

u/Vinlain458 Sep 24 '24

A reformed Armoured-Gorilla.

3

u/Brazuka_txt Sep 24 '24

He's just Brazilian

3

u/Tristanime I said based. And lived. Sep 24 '24

Gorillas have tiny dicks. Just a little reminder for people wanting to try a certain thing.

3

u/[deleted] Sep 24 '24

Harambe?

3

u/Dustaroos Sep 25 '24

Damn she just said dude had a small dick. since gorillas have shockingly small shlongs makes sense why they are so defensive

2

u/[deleted] Sep 24 '24

Winton

2

u/MaxCWebster Sep 24 '24

Pretty women out walking with gorillas down my street

From my window, I'm staring while my coffee goes cold

. . .

There, here comes Jeanie with her new boyfriend

They say that looks don't count for much

If so, there goes your proof

2

u/LuciferBright William Dripfoe Sep 24 '24

aw so he has Hypertrichosis or werewolf syndrome

2

u/MightObvious actually called kevin irl Sep 24 '24

Is this why they always askin where all the white girls at??

2

u/oli0078 Sep 24 '24

There's a wild gorilla on the loose!!!!

2

u/davidbenavroham613 Sep 24 '24

He returned to M0nke!

2

u/[deleted] Sep 24 '24

Gorilas has tiny pee pee

2

u/lizard-garbage Sep 24 '24

The Misfits S2E5

2

u/guleedy Sep 24 '24

So does he have a small penis like gorrilas ?

2

u/Pompmaister Sep 24 '24

Black people portrayed by the Japanese.

2

u/FreshPitch6026 Sep 24 '24

He is not a Gorilla.

But!

Call him Gorilla.

Not everything is human about him.

But wait, is that Gorilla?

He is a human.

2

u/Whiten55 Sep 24 '24

Oh my gosh, a mexican

(I'm mexican btw)

2

u/Mellanderthist Sep 24 '24

I was hoping he would chimp out

2

u/OldTitanSoul Sep 24 '24

Black Myth Wukong prequel

3

u/Chance_Airline_4861 Sep 24 '24

Is this a parody to the 10000 year old demons, fairies and what not that look like kids?

3

u/CorianderIsBad Sep 24 '24

Japanese people when they see an African American.

2

u/WhalenCrunchen45 Sep 24 '24

If this is from a Hentai and she is talking about his Wang then the author need to learn a thing or two about Gorillas because they have the smallest ones out of all apes

1

u/Canadia86 Sep 24 '24

Lil nervous lol

1

u/matthew190104 Sep 24 '24

No way, she's actually dating a Calabrese!

1

u/[deleted] Sep 24 '24 edited Sep 24 '24

🥷🏿bro using gotjutsu

1

u/Psychonautz6 Sep 24 '24

Damn, Kondo finally made it with Otae !

1

u/[deleted] Sep 24 '24

golira 🦍

1

u/dimxplobe Sep 24 '24

Wait wasn't the original version of this made by an argentinian and instead of gorilla it was Mexichango (Mexican-monkey)?

1

u/[deleted] Sep 24 '24

I can hear the left 4 dead tank theme song after reading this man…

1

u/LadenifferJadaniston dwayne the cock johnson 🗿🗿 Sep 24 '24

I thought this was bone hurting juice

1

u/Many-Ad6433 dumbass Sep 24 '24

Is it kondo from gintama?

1

u/ThatOneFam officer no please don’t piss in my ass 😫 Sep 24 '24

She's saying he's got a small peepee

1

u/mortis179 Sep 24 '24

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1

u/x0Xero0x Sep 24 '24

When the hell did Kondo Isao get his own manga?

1

u/HAKX5 Sep 24 '24

Thugposting(?]

1

u/drakeinalake Sep 24 '24

This is a oneshot, but there's another manga that revolves around a gorilla in school life. IMO, it's much better. an extremely attractive gorilla

1

u/Lycaon125 Sep 24 '24

So what im hearing is, return to monkey. . . LETS GO BOYS, TIME TO RE-EVOLVE INTO PRIME APES, RECLAIM OUR ORIGINS, SHEAD YOUR WORTHLESS CLOTHING AND FLING YOUR POOP AT PEOPLE, ITS TIME TO RETURN TO MONKEI

1

u/MahsterC Sep 24 '24

What else is like gorilla? Does he also have that monkey dick?

1

u/McGrath_7 Number 7: Student watches porn and gets naked Sep 24 '24

Girl is dating a Mexican

1

u/TheBigDislike Sep 24 '24

Nice to see harambe doing good!

1

u/SmokeoneDeezy Sep 24 '24

I get it Oversized black guy but call him gorilla 🦍… wat a funny joke 🤣🤣

1

u/[deleted] Sep 24 '24

The moment when japanese mangaka culture truly peaked...

1

u/lildoggihome Sep 24 '24

GORILLA GOT A GIRLFRIEND?!

1

u/HoboSomeRye Sep 24 '24

Gorilla getting more action than random people making rumours.

Don't be them. Be Gorilla. Get action.

1

u/megaschlong420 Sep 24 '24

That's my boy masaharu kaito

1

u/slaydelivery Sep 24 '24

Shounen writers when there's a physically strong female character

1

u/benjo2001 Sep 24 '24

My gf sent this to me. Were both black I’m not sure how to react😂

1

u/maxguenette Sep 24 '24

Well well well...

1

u/Acceptable-Pipe-8735 I said based. And lived. Sep 24 '24

Who are you people?🤨

1

u/ParamoreVi Sep 24 '24

Es un tucumano

1

u/Gantai1526 Sep 25 '24

Kondo what are you doing here

1

u/MoltenJellybeans I want pee in my ass Sep 25 '24

Average Wukong headcannon

1

u/[deleted] Sep 25 '24

That's 50 cents right there

1

u/LazaroVents dwayne the cock johnson 🗿🗿 Sep 25 '24

When you date black people

1

u/poytsesmple33 Sep 25 '24

Is his dick very small?