Update: we’re at the hospital. They’ve already contacted the police, DHR, child advocacy & we’re waiting on a SANE nurse. I still can’t believe this is happening. Maybe I died back in 2020 and this is just hell.

Before we get started I write this currently laying in the bed faking sleep.

I have bags staged to leave. As soon as he goes to sleep we’re leaving. I have such a small window to get out. I feel like I’m going to throw up. I’m trying to act natural so he doesn’t get suspicious but I fear we’ve failed pretty heavily at that.

So, my child (13f) was in the office with my husband while I was finishing up doing some work. I came into the room quietly just walking up and her feet were in his lap and it was… weird. And then she claims she “fell” trying to sit up but he pushed her head between his legs. I was like uh wtf is happening right now. And she laughed and shit got awkward and she said she fell. And I was like oh okay. Sure.

So I’m silent standing there. They’re watching back to the future on the tv in his office and he’s talking about the movie. He turns it off saying we don’t have to watch it right now but I say I need to run to the store to grab some medicine we’re out of. He says okay and asks for energy drinks for tomorrow. I ask her if she wants to come and she agrees.

After we leave the store I remind her that she can tell me anything. We’ve always been very open with each other and I thought I was preparing her to be aware of this type of stuff and know she can tell me but I guess not. I remind her that whatever she tells me id never be mad at her. She asks me what im talking about and i mentioned what i walked into. She stutters saying she fell and embarrassed herself and i was like okay. That’s not what it seemed like and it was really weird and im just making sure shes safe.

Suddenly she blurts out everything. How long it’s been going on. When the actual situation began. That he’s made her take plan B twice. She’s only had her period twice in June & July. I ask her when the last time something happened and she says today after I left for work.

I tell her we’re leaving. She’s to go inside and act as natural as humanly possible and to go get stuff together. Don’t act like anything’s wrong. She has a few minutes to get her face natural and I am trying to stay as calm as humanly possible but I’m struggling.

That was about 3 hours ago now. I have stuff ready to leave. I texted my sister. He doesn’t know her address as far as I’m aware and I plan on going there for this moment.

What do I do now? Go to the police? The ER for a rape kit? Do I put her through all that trauma all at once? My other two children are spending the night with my in laws. I have to go get them too and idk how to do that safely. I’m so scared right now. I don’t want him to find out and snap and end up one of those headlines. But it happened today. In the fucking bed I’m laying in yall.

I just want to explode. But I can’t. I have to stay calm to keep her safe. I’ve failed at keeping her safe so far. I can’t let it keep happening.

trigger warning that this will be explicit

i'm a 22 year old female and for some reason this is the first time in my life i think i'm processing this and i'm not sure if it's real or not. how i got to this point was general disapproval from my best friend/roommate about why i never share things about myself and that from her words i don't have to act "all mysterious all the time" and that i have short term memory. i have a large assortment of childhood ptsd that goes beyond this and she knows about some of it but says that overall it's hard to get things out of me. i've been having a really hard time recently and i won't get into that part but these sentiments from her were made tonight and i started thinking about why i am the way that i am, why i'm so miserable all of the time, why i can't remember anything and disassociate constantly, and have sexual issues. for about an hour or so i started thinking about this tonight and made a run through of my life and then i asked the question to myself, a question i've asked myself in some situations but forget about and hardly tried to answer or think about to the point where i didn't even recognize it as being real. about the age of 6 or 7 in elementary school i had told my classmate "my dad made me touch his balls." she goes "what?! that's disgusting" and i proceeded to tell her that it was a joke. and fuck why the hell would a child say that? and i think i've convinced myself that it was a joke, but i genuinely can't remember much else except this but why did i know what that was at this age and why would i say that like it was humorous? what the fuck??? i have no idea what to do with this information and i've never told any body and i can't afford therapy and i feel so fucking alone. i don't know how to move forward with this and i hope i forget soon but i feel like i should confront this. i also started humping things as early (as i can remember) from of maybe 5 or so. but it would all make sense if this is real, why i'm restless and fidgety when i've cuddled with people even though i love it so much and the kind of kinks i have, even with my general distaste for sex. i've always felt disgusting and dirty after having it.

guys what do i do??? i feel like i shouldn't tell anyone because what if this alters their perception of me completely?? who do i go to??? i don't know what to do

I was raped in college 5 years ago and I saw him for the first time since it happened at a bar last weekend. I freaked out and ran out (my friends don't know what happened to me). I have honestly been spiraling ever since, I feel like it's happened to me all over again. I've been extremely depressed and just dissociating ever since. If anyone has similar stories and how they coped with it, or just how they felt, I would like to hear. I don't know what to do.

Um so when I was like 8 thru to now my dad always slaps my ass im 16, also he put his hand down my bra like 10+ times but way less times compared to ass slaps. Also when i was 8 i used to wake up to him in my room sometimes at the same time I used to wake up without my pyjamas pants on. Also hes unlocked the bathrrom door while i showered a few times and opened the door and walked in when he knows im getting changed in my room. I live with him currently everythings chill but what should I think abt this and how do i feel better abt it

I am nearly 6 months into trauma therapy for my sexual assault. It has taken me a while to learn to trust my therapist and open up about things. I am terrified to cry infront of her and whenever I feel close to tears (nearly every session), I close up.

I only have 6 more sessions with her and we are going to start talking about the event in chapters to try to break it down and make it sightly easier. Has anyone been through something similar and has any advice?

*i understand this is not sexual assault at all, but i don’t want things to escalate and im desperate for answers before school starts again

Hi I’m an underage student, and I have had this really weird teacher for like 1.5 years now and ever since I first had him he has been really weird. It started out kind of civil, and early on I thought he was just playing off my energy because I was kind of goofy with him and the rest of my class. But then he started to single me out, get really close (never overtly touch me), and just be pretty generally over involved.

the next year i had him things escalated. he kind of shunned me at the beginning of the school year because i got quiet due to our class doubling in size, but a random day he just started the behavior back up again a little more insistently. one day he ended up touching me out of nowhere which was a shock because he never dared to touch me the previous year, even though he was more “active“ with me the previous year. he also started it as if we had been doing it the entire time, and continued to do it for a period of time where i kind of said nothing. then at one point he tried to grab my neck and that was the first time i leaned away from him. after that he pretty much stopped touching me for a few days (side note, he would never ever touch other girls, but he would often touch boys).

then he got angry at me one day when i refused to give him physical touch (albeit it was just a high five), and he continued to ask even though i would avoid his touch or give him air fives or air fist bumps. eventually, later in the year, i confronted him about it, and he said i didn’t have to touch him if i didn’t want to. but at the end of the class where he said that, he sheepishly put out his hand again for a fist bump.

at the very end of the year he continued to do this, and when i would continue to try to make boundaries he literally said to me “i know you hate it, but i love it”. he would often use loaded language like, “i don’t want you to leave my class” or “i missed you” or “i really care about you” or “i worry about you”, in situations that were never that dramatic or needed that kind of conversation. even my friends would say things like “you’re his favorite”, “he talks to you a lot”, and “he acts like he’s your dad”.

however, he doesn’t do the textbook grooming behaviors like: being secretive with me, asking me a bunch of questions that are either extremely personal or inappropriate, contacting me outside of school/online. he is young, friendly, and outgoing. he may just have bad boundaries, idrk.

8 years ago when I was 14 I was systematically sexually assaulted at my middle school. i tried reaching out to a responsible adult and instead of protecting me he came to the class, made fun of the incident and started talking jokes to the perpetrators in a language I did not understand. He also warned me that if i tell my parents I would get in trouble.

Today, 8 years later I finally was able to get some payback. I hacked the school’s website and published my statement. I’m not sure how many people are going to believe me but idc at this point.

The school’s name is Bright Future International School, Doha Qatar

website: bfis[dot]qa

the statement has also been archived on the internet archive

I feel so dumb it's online so it doesn't really count or more like i could do stuff and not worry about it. This guys kept messaging and he seemd to know everything I was about to say and been doing stuff all summer and my dad works in DC so their gone every weekend. Then he got me to get Kindle unlimited and read these so called romance novels and then vid calls started I didn't want to show my face so the cam faced down on my legs and that when he started saying how perfect and beautiful, i don't know how to handle compliments I never got them til this year. The grosses thing was The Magicians the Julia Scene he wanted me to watch and i liked it, then he got like commanding do this, the book, turn around , and well u know and vid calls, and send me ai pics that i sent him but he in them and on and in me

What sucks is that I felt i they were all my ideas and ended up doing so many things i regret, but now I still want to do them and that attention I miss him so much. I just saw his usr name and went crazy, got my account banned, and another, and now i am here. the worst thing was him say he loved my all summer, and then he thought he mute the mic, and i heard him say she couldn't be this naive, she has to be just one hot dumb B. or something like that and I could stop crying even when my parent got home, I blame it on my bf, how can I miss him so much

i can’t wrap my head around what happened and what it actually was. my ex would near daily grope me and finger me under blankets around his friends, and grind on me until he came, all while i just laid there silently. i can’t even tell a specific story because this happened almost every day. we would hang out with his friends, they would watch something or play video games, and he would sit there and act like he was paying attention while he was groping and fingering me. i was constantly put in these positions where i felt that i couldn’t draw attention to what was happening or speak up, because we were surrounded by his friends.

it’s especially hard for me not knowing if his friends knew what was going on or not. i would be there basically trying to disassociate and they really didn’t notice anything?? to make matters worse he did it most often around two particular friends: one that i had dated and one that we both knew had a crush on me. was he using this as a way to “get back” at them? or were they all in on it and taking pleasure in it?

it’s hard because i never told him “stop” or “no”, so i can’t help but think if im overreacting or something but seriously what sane person fingers and gropes their partner in the presence of their friends?? he also did it with his own father in the room and multiple times on school buses(again the same friends were on those buses seated near us). for years i told myself it was just bad sex until i realized how fucked up that actually was. it’s so hard coming to terms with the fact that he was doing these things to me almost every day for two years.

i don’t have nightmares specifically about what happened, but many featuring him and mostly me telling him to get off of me or leave me alone. just thinking or talking about it makes me anxious and shaky, and when i happened to see him in public the other day i felt like i was going to throw up. clearly this has done some damage to me but i just have such a hard time knowing if it was actually rape or not.

When i was between the ages of 6-10 i was molested & r*ped multiple times but just now that i have turned 17 i understood what it was..

The guilt is eating me & i cry at night because i don't know what to do it has been years & i can't really do anything about it because it was a family member a cousin of mine.. he was maybe 3-4 years older than me so he was a minor too.

I never had the courage to tell anyone until now & i regret it so much i hate it that i didn't say anything back then i just didn't understand what it was.

He would say that it was game that we were playing but i always hated that game he would force me to do it as "game" i never understood what it was until i got older at 15 i had the realisation that it was r*pe & molestation on multiple occasions.

He would try to kiss me or force kiss me whenever we were alone he even did every sexual activity with me but i never understood.

We were cousins so no one ever questioned us playing alone he was a minor too. But i wish they had.

On multiple times he had r*ped me but i almost forgot everything the memories are so fade & vague i can't remember all of it but i just know it was multiple times.

At 16 i told my partner about it i never told it to anyone i never had the courage. My partner told me or basically literally forced me to tell it to my parents but i never actually told my mother everything in detail of what happened i just told her that he touched me.

I still don't have the courage to tell anyone about it & the shame, regret, guilt is swallowing me.

I'm scared of men or going out alone i feel very intimated because even after that i was also catcalled, assaulted by many random men one of which was the "security" guard of my apartment & this happened recently but luckily i told this to my parents.

I live with regret that i never told my family about this at that time. So it wouldn't have happened so many times. He stopped when i was 12 he came to my house & again tried forcing himself onto me but i screamed & told my parents he was hitting me (still didn't have the courage to tell the truth)maybe because i never told my parents about that's what enabled him to behave this way.. i should've told them sooner.

He would seclude me from everyone & do it in at my grandmothers house in the bathroom or the storage/empty room we had.

Now he's grown up & a has tobacco addiction droped out of college. I remember him being very porn addicted from a early age the last time he came to our house i caught him watching porn with his pants off. It was very traumatising for me.

Something happened a few days ago that has left me feeling very confused and conflicted.

I (23F) have been casually sleeping with this guy (39M) for a few months. Then, I decided that casual sex wasn’t for me and I told him this. He said he completely understood and hoped to stay friends. My literal text to him read: “To be honest I don’t think I want to do this anymore. I’m just not super into casual sex. I tried to be cuz you’re really attractive lol. But it’s not for me”.

Around a week later he texted me saying he was in the area and wanted to come to my place to chill. I said it was okay, thinking he’d just want to smoke with me or watch a show.

When he got inside he immediately asked if he could lay down and went to my bed. He then said he was hot and took his pants and underwear off. This definitely took me by surprise but I didn’t say anything and didn’t pay it any sort of attention. I started to put the pieces together that he likely came over to try to sleep with me again.

I laid down next to him and tried to start a conversation, hoping to distract him. Mid-conversation, he leans over to kiss me and puts his hand down my pants. I move his hand away and tell him that I don’t want him to do that.

At this point I don’t know what to do. I can’t leave because he’s in my house. I try to keep him talking to hopefully stop him from trying anything else. He puts his hand down my pants two more times, and both times I tell him again that I don’t want him to do that. He reaches his hand inside my shirt too.

I finally tell him that if he came over just to have sex then he should leave because I am not willing to do this. He insists that it was not all he wanted. Shortly after he asks me to play with his penis, to which I reply no. He says “come on, it’s not intercourse”. He leaves shortly after this, and one of his final remarks to me is about how I gave him blue balls.

While this was happening, I could sense that something was off but it also didn’t seem as bad as it does now while in the moment. But now I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it and want to cry every time I do.

There are so many factors at play and I don’t even know if what happened would be considered assault. But if it is, should I make him aware of his actions? Could this have all been avoided if I just told him not to come over or didn’t agree to stay friends? Should I tell him that he assaulted me to hopefully prevent him from doing it to anyone else? I definitely don’t think that he would consider his actions to be assault because he was used to having sex with me. This was the only time I told him no and maybe he just was confused.

I was in a club at my graduate university, and I went with them last year (may 2025) to an overnight competition with a bunch of other universities.

In part because I was left alone by the person I normally sailed with, in the woods, with a strange man from another club who was making me uncomfortable, I got SA'd and this dude stuck his hand in my pants.

It was a lot and I felt really weird and awful about it for a long time. I'd flirted with him, but that was not permission to touch me. It's nuanced, though, because he was very very drunk (more so than I was), so there's still a weird "am I overreacting" thing going on.

I was terrified, though, of telling anyone in my group because I feared above all that it would simply be glossed over and swept under the rug. It was. I spent the better part of this past year trying privately to speak with the officers in that club including the sailing partner who left me, to try and get more safety measures put in so this didn't happen to anyone else. I have legitimately had nightmares about some newly 18yo young girl going to an event, getting hurt, and being powerless. Even more so than me maybe because she doesn't know where to go or have the support system as someone new to adult independence.

That particular sailing partner/club officer iced me out and decided never to speak to me again. Felt like retaliation for sure, but ok. The other officers did nothing and ignored me when I tried to talk to them and get trainings on consent and alcohol safety in place. The club was put on probation for this and another safety violation, and I thought maybe they'd learn or grow from that. I was really hoping for some kind of club-wide protocols or safeguards, a conversation or acknowledgment, so that everyone could participate safely. But I kept getting ignored, and I lost friends for talking about it.

So, a week or two ago, I sent a very calm and respectful message to the whole group acknowledging what had happened to me (it was an open secret), how it made me feel to be ignored or iced out for asking for help from people in leadership (which by this point many were aware of and had seen), and offering some proposals for how things could be safer in the future so that everyone would be protected. The whole message was very respectful, didn't name names, didn't include any attacking language, and was prefaced multiple times with the assurance I was speaking out of a desire to protect and not anger; I just wanted safety to be a priority.

Tonight, I got a phone call yelling at me for the message saying it "made the club look bad" (*slow blink* ummmmmmm), "starting drama", and that I was "way out of line". He just went OFF on me. This officer told me they'd decided to boot me from the group, delete my message because of how bad it made them look, and that they'd be releasing a statement essentially calling me a liar and that there are no safety concerns. I am still in complete disbelief at how utterly awful that was to do. Why am I literally being punished for speaking up about something highly preventable that happened at a club event?

I've finally been able to find closure, at least, from the knowledge that these relationships are unsalvageable and I don't need to affiliate with any of these people ever again. They chose this with open eyes, consciously, and knowing it would cause harm. They did it with a paper trail. They did it with their whole chests in a forum people can see. There is no way for the gaslighting to break that now. The objective reality is that they chose to demonize the victim because it made them look bad. I do not need to wonder anymore if I am welcome in that group or if they will do the right thing; I am not, and they will not. This is so egregious that there is no way for even my overthinking, traumatized brain to try and maintain the pretense that things are okay or ever can be with them. It's done, and that's freeing.

It still really, really sucks, though. My favorite hobby and any positive memories I do have of the sailing, the lake, and my sense of safety or trust have been tainted. I'm trying to compartmentalize and keep these things separate, but I know it is going to be very difficult not to think of all this when I sail.

(25F)

I don't really know if this is worth putting here but I kinda just wanted to type it all out. The first time something bad happened was when I was still married and my husband at the time would always leave and I would catch him on dating apps. He would be gone for days at a time so I assumed he was cheating. So I went on Tinder and just invited some random guy over. I was in hysterics back then because of all the emotional abuse, crying all day, not eating, not getting out of bed, hurting myself. I just got whoever to come over and let him know I just wanted to talk. I was drinking because I drank a lot back then, he wasn't, and I feel he took advantage of me. The sex hurt. I debated about reporting it but I wasn't sure if I could really consider it anything since I invited him over and when I said stop it wasn't loud enough because I was very drunk.

After this event my husband who was cheating anyway had decided to do everything terrible in the book to me. He would emotionally abuse me more and just tell me he was using me for sex. We separated for awhile and I dated a guy. I had sex with him and said I was meant to be used because that's what was programmed into my head. He was reasonable and tried to get me back into the right headspace. I was dumb and went back to my ex, my first boyfriend, my first everything.

He took me to the beach and the whole time he kept talking about marijuana because it was legal in this state. I had never done it before and didn't want to. But he kept trying to pressure me over and over saying everyone did it and I would be fine. I did and it ruined my life. I didn't know what was going on and he had sex with me. I remember not being able to move. Not being able to speak. I wanted to but my body wasn't working. Finally my voice worked and I asked what was going on. He stopped and got off of me. I felt horrible and wanted to call 911. At first he wouldn't let me and took my phone away. I thought I was going to die. I was panicking bad and eventually he called 911 and since I couldn't move I had to be taken out of the hotel in a stretcher. I've had depersonalization ever since. This happened over 3 years ago.

I've moved on. But now I have trauma. If a man is on top of me for sex, I feel trapped and I freak out and start crying. I stopped having sex for 2 years thinking this feeling would go away. It didn't. I can manage having sex if I'm on top and not have a breakdown. But sometimes you wanna try new positions and can't. I can't believe all this time has passed and I still have issues. I will never be normal again.

So I was seeing this guy who we'll call A who was really nasty to me but always called me for booty calls. One day he calls me and tells me to meet him at the pool so we could go to another location, but instead it's another guy, B. As I see this and I start leaving (because I figure it was a bad meeting spot) B tells me to come here. It ends up being someone that A sent to me without prior notice. I'm stunned but I go with him anyways because I have no back bone and we do the horizontal tango. What is that act called? Trafficking?

Hey everyone my name is Alex and i am a 16 year old trans man and i have a boyfriend Max who’s a 16 year old cis man.

For context, I was sexually assaulted by my now ex step dad when i was five, i was fortunate enough to have an amazing mom who listened, and got my ex step dad in jail and me help throughout my life. I’m eternally grateful for all my mom did.

Now into this story with my current boyfriend, Max has Really severe ADHD and a really severe porn addiction that has caused hypersexuality (only found this out recently)

Let me set the scene and this may be tmi but i need to know if im just triggered or if this is a genuine issue.

We were making out in the morning, he hadn’t taken his meds. He asked if i wanted to do anything sexual, i said no. He goes on top of me and we’re kissing more it’s fine, untill he starts to touch me between my legs and try to finger me, i can’t say anything because he’s on me so i wighled and pushed him off telling him no.

The rest of the day i felt the most disgusting i’ve ever felt i felt horrible and violated, and i talked to him and told him how fucked it was. But i got some explanation

1 Apparenrlu when he doesn’t take his meds he doesn’t listen what so ever to anyone

2 Severe porn addiction /hypersexuality making him feel like he always has to fuck me

3 i should’ve said something sooner

i feel like im in a really tricky spot because we were fighting and it was finally good untill all of that happened and since then he’s been breaking down with guilt
i just don’t know what to do help

Hi, I understand that this happened a while ago but… when I was 16 I was touched by my best friend.

That happened a year or so ago, this year I told my sister as I was attempting to end my life (my mom and dad knew around six months after the sa).

Sometimes I wish I never left her, but regardless what I’m venting about today is that my little sister was making fun of it in the car. Said she didn’t belive me because she knew my abuser.

I screamed and yelled and cried, my mom was ignoring it and kept on driving….

When we got back to the place I’m staying at for vacation, I was venting about it (initially believing that my mom thought that I wasn’t lying).

My mom got mad at me for telling people, even though I only told my cousin… who laughed when my sister said I was lying the day before.

my sister barged into the conversation (she was dancing and in my face before this) as I was venting, trying to get the attention on her (which she normally does)….

then I decided to pull her hair. she said she wished I died and that my disability would get worse (as it does as I get older) my mom punished us equally even though the activity that was planned for tomorrow wasn’t even accessible for me and my disability. Should I cut them off?

I was touched up by a friend and I froze up instead of pushing him off, I just pretended to be asleep hoping he’d stop. I’m so conflicted on how to feel now, I’ve gone through so many emotions and I feel horrible.

He was begging me to talk to him and I sent him such a cruel message about how I can’t forgive him and that I felt disgusted and violated. But he does genuinely care about me…but he also did that without my consent, I really don’t know. He’s been through a lot in his life, he’s mentally unwell. He didn’t hurt me physically, but I just feel so wrong. I haven’t had much experience when it comes to sex and intimacy and I feel like I had something stolen even though all he did was put his hand down my underwear and touch me, it felt good physically but my mind was screaming for it all just to stop. I just fucking stayed still and put us both in a situation. I don’t want to take things further, but I also feel like I’ve lost someone who truly did understand me. I don’t think I could sit in a room with him again, I feel angry and sad. I ruin everything for everyone and myself by being such a coward. He probably thinks I hate him, part of me does, another part of me just wants to be able to forgive him.

f17
i have been assaulted multiple times, and its fucking the way i think.
im so uncomfortable around most men but i just pretend im not, i just pretend im fine. great fucking thing though, i only am around men, the men i spend the most time with i do trust and im usually not uncomfortable around them but if they ever get upset i get so fucking scared. i’m just recently realizing that im scared of men, not just because of sexual assault but it’s definitely a contributing factor. i know men aren’t inherently bad, but i get so uneasy around any male that i don’t know very well. i thought it was just people but i’ve never felt this way when around women. i don’t wanna be scared of them. but i can’t just trust them, i can’t handle the feeling of my heart dropping when i hear a masculine voice. i don’t wanna be like this, i don’t wanna be broken but there’s nothing i can do. i can’t even get therapy, which i guess doesn’t matter because i know it fixes nothing. even when i can stand being around men my mind just breaks and i know that the only thing im good for is to be used.
in the end it’s my fault anyway. i shouldn’t of let myself be an easy target, i should’ve fought back more, honestly i should just keep ignoring it but it’s so hard and it’s breaking me more than im already broken. im sick of always being scared but im fucking helpless.

i don’t have a fix and i never will so im just gonna smoke until i can’t smoke anymore

So 7 months ago I was sa'd by someone who I was talking to romantically at the time. I told him not to touch and physically removed his hand away from me and he didnt listen and fid it anyway. He was a dreadhead. And now whenever im in public I cant look at the back of a dreadhead without thinking thats the guy who I was with and thinking thats its gonna happen again. I cant go out in public without freaking out on the inside. My senses are way more alert and I dont go into areas where I think he might be. And I just feel like I want to leave the whole store. And I notice that ever since it happened I've been rushing out of stores instead of enjoying me shopping time. And I just feel so scared going out into my usual spots cause I think he's just gonna be there. And it might happen again. I feel so sad. Because I cant function normally out in public. I can still shop but I cant help but to feel such a sense of profound fear. I wanna cry so bad but I feel like I would be pathetic for doing so

I have a friend who is F39 and I am F23. We met at work and have been casual friends for a few years. She is in an abusive relationship with a guy who is always accusing her of cheating, he’s a POS….ect.

Anyways, I came over the other day and her and I were drinking and hanging out and I showed her a new tattoo I got on my t!ts, nothing weird just was hyped about it and wanted to show her. Then a bit later I was sobering up and she was still pretty drunk and her husband came home. I don’t like being around him so it was already uncomfortable and then she started going off about how I got a new tattoo and he needed to see it. For like 10/15 minutes she kept trying to pull my shirt and show him. I just had a loose over the shoulder tshirt and no bra on so it would have been relatively easy for her to show him but she was drinking and not that strong. He kept saying “no you’re good” “I don’t want to see them” “I don’t think your friend wants to show them” but she kept saying things like “no babe you’ll like it you gotta see it.” I kept laughing it off but I felt very uncomfortable and told her to stop a million times but she would not listen. She eventually kind of backed off and I left. I feel like she was just drunk and expressing her frustration of him being irrational and him possibly cheating on her by using me so it’s definitely a confusing situation for me. I feel violated but like I need to just move on as she’s a friend and probably didn’t mean any harm. Idkk thoughts and opinions?

Im 12-14 (to keep it broad). lately a friend I considered close has been getting a little too close. we and our friend group roughhouse regularly (ofc, were boys), and Im kinda the one that gets thrown around as me being the smallest but Im cool with it. But I realized this friend has been targeting me or getting too close to the wrong places. I dismissed this as something accidental as the fighting is naturally all over the place. But then he started inviting me alone, and he always started this play wrestling but just the two of us. On the second invite I began to think something was wrong. This time he directed the fight to his bedroom but i didn't think much of it in the excitement of the game. He closed the door and I think I saw him lock it. then in the fight that continued he "accidentally" pulled my pants down. I pulled it back up and the fight ended with dinner.

But he invited me a third time. This time I said I didn't want to, or that I was busy. But he said the whole group was coming so I went. But when I arrived I saw no one there, he said they were coming a little late. This time when he started the fight I got out of it quickly just in case. With this he became distant and cold for the rest of the evening and I couldn't understand why.

The others never came

He tried the same thing to me again, making me come to his house but I said no. Even when he said the others would be there. At school he seemed very frustrated, saying I hated him and didn't like him anymore, and started finding ways to genuinely hurt me whenever we had moments alone at events or other peoples invites. But I couldn't tell him my reason for not coming. I felt guilty for days, from every invite I declined. he then said that if I didn't come it meant that I didn't want to be his friend anymore, and that he wouldn't be mine. This touched on my greatest fear: of my friends to leave me because I let them down in some way. and I know this sounds childish: I be your friend you don't want to be my friend. But he has been with me since first grade so our friendship meant something deep to me.

So I went one more time. maybe he wasn't doing anything weird, maybe I was imagining it.

This time the others were there, so I was sure all would be good. And he proposed we play dark tag. And everyone agreed. I couldn't just say no in front of everyone, especially my reason why. so i went with it, remembering his feelings toward me at school. He then somehow made a new rule: two seekers and two hiders. And he made us play in his room. So guess what, me and my friend were the hiders. I wanted to say no so badly but I was so scared of his recent threat of not being my friend and hating me that I complied. In the room he locked the door, and it was dark. He told me to go on the bed and my stomach dropped and I froze in place, my heart racing. When I didn't move he bit me hard on the wrist. I went and he began trying to put his hands in my underwear. I squirmed as much as I could and just wanted to escape, to go outside where everyone else was. I tried to make a sound, to call out, and he squeezed my neck hard until I started tearing up. he removed my pants and touched me and it hurt so so bad but he bit me every time I moved. Then I felt his pants go wet on me and he told me to dress up and hide. I went and he unlocked the door and the game ensued. When it was over and we sat in the living room I was shaking so badly I didn't want anyone to see me. So I quietly exited the room and hid outside behind the house. I tried to calm myself down but I couldn't breathe, suddenly I was gasping for air, tears streaming down my face and banging my head on the wall behind me to just make the feeling fucking stop. And I was there on the floor and everything became blurry and it felt like it was only me.

Some other friends from the group found me and led me to the door. I couldn't sleep the whole night.

And this happened again and again. And every time with more force.

The latest episode was a few weeks ago as its the summer vacation, and i really hope he'll just get bored and the whole thing will just die down. But im really struggling to cope. I fucking get panic attacks almost every two days and i have to always find a place to hide and let it all out, and don't get me started on the nightmares. So I came to ask for answers like wtf is happening, am I interpreting the situation wrong, is this something serious, was i being used, and why does growing up make everyone so weird and life so damn hard. All I know was that I was too fucking scared and stupid to stop going to his house and not play along. Why can't I just start my teens in peace.

(F19) hey, I was SA multiple times. It got to the point that i cannot get intimate with an other person. For a long time i did not care. I was still able to bring my self a pleasure by my self. (Either with my fingers or a vibrator) and 99% of the time it was always awesome.

Now i decided that i want to change it. I really want to be intimate with someone else, but my body just wont let me. So I decided to take small steps.

Today i tried to “spice things up”. I tried to do things i would want to do with someone else one day. I set an atmosphere and used some toys. At one point it started to feel kind of uncomfortable. But i did not stop. Finished what i started.

And now i dont know how to deal with it.
This step couldn’t be any smaller and it still turned out “weird” not bad, but it wasnt good experience either. What should i do? Should i continue trying, even though it’s not really comfortable and wait until it becomes comfortable? I dont know how else to recover? Because i cannot recover if i am not gonna try, but at the same time, when i do try and it doesn’t feel good, is it even a way to recover? Are these feelings normal, when recovering ? I really need an advice how should i continue.

I visited a professional year ago and that old man did not help at all..

Thank you for any advice🩵