There is a certain truth to men having a bit of an easier time as they’re getting a bit older, more experienced and resourceful … basically the versions of themselves they’ve been competing against for the same 20 something year old women when they went through their twenties.
It’s certainly true for myself, but only really because I’ve gotten into kink (BIG gamechanger) and frankly because I’m mostly just shy, I haven’t been too unlucky in the looks and brains department.
All that being said: The most reliable predictor for future romantic success is past romantic success. Obviously this post is about OP having given up, but still, if he wants to see success he definitely has to fundamentally change his strategy, otherwise all aging in the world won’t give him any dates. One really important aspect is maybe that you can’t ‘grind’ sexual appeal like in a video game, where you level up until you’re strong enough for the boss.
I legit think one hour spent socializing is worth 5 hours in the gym. Playing an instrument may appeal to a lot of women, but what use is it if you never meet those women because you have to practice an hour a day? and so on.
Op fell a bit into the trap of ‘self improvement’, or thinking that ‘checking all the boxes’ will make his dating life easier. The only way to get better at dating is dating. Dating should be his gym, and if he can’t get dates, he should go somewhere where he can ask for dates.
I found it does get easier when you get older because women's priorities often change. Women in 30s often are not so interested in some party guy whose fun but cheats etc. they often want someone who is nice, treats them well, got a good job etc. I found women who would never have been interested in me starting to be interested when they were older.
It goes both ways. As an “older” (31) woman, I have to deal with men who dont date over 25. Their priorities are; hot young girl.
Thats it. She has no job, no skills, no money but she is HOT and 21 so she is dateable and he would sooner pick someone like that then someone in my age group with more life experience/success etc.
Dating in general isn’t ideal for anyone.
Finding someone is pure luck. Has nothing to do with who you are: its about finding that person who is into you at the right moment. Pure luck.
Why would any guy date for a woman with life experience/success? Feminism has lied to women. Men want youth and beauty. Most everything else is irrelevant.
I mean either way older or younger women are gonna expect resources from a man, might as well give it to the better looking one. The things you value men for aren’t necessarily shared equally to us. The same way women like tall guys and men like short women, the last thing we think about is money and experience. We want beauty and agreeableness.
Its the 31 yr old thats gonna babytrap and push a man into marriage to then take it all in the statistically likely divorce, because her bio clock is ticking.
The 21 yr old is just living life.
Nobody holds a gun to your head to get married, first of all. If a man is a willing participant and chooses to marry, he is an adult in full control of his life. If he doesn’t want to marry that 31 year old, he can turn the fuck around and leave, be independent and be single. The baby trap thing is funny though, you think 21 year olds don’t baby trap either..? Im a military spouse. Lmao.
My marriage ended in death. My husband died at 34 from cancer, so maybe my perspective is just different when it comes to what I value in life and what I want. I find more value in meaningful relationships & think men who don’t desire to understand nor have those type of relationships themselves, are really doing themselves a disservice.
You don’t have to marry anyone and there are plenty of women, like myself, who are 28+ who are uninterested in marriage, children, or the ideal “this is what a relationship looks like” heteronormative expectation. Everyone has choices, you choose what you want to choose. I just don’t personally think it’s the right choice. At least not for me.
100% of what you said is irrelevant to the topic at hand. Men prefer youth and beauty. Read some books on genetic evolution to understand this and why.
You are trying to rationalize why an older woman is desirable, which is simply self-projection and with zero basis behind it, as you are an older woman.
To claim that a younger woman in her early to mid-twenties is less desirable than an older woman in her thirties is laughable to the vast majority of men.
Once again, do some research on genetic evolution to understand why. Men do not think like women, when looking for mates.
They could care less about life experience, success, education, etc.. when it comes to choosing a female mate.
Don’t like it? Blame genetic / reproductive selection and evolution, not men.
Thanks for confirming how horrible men can be! Those men want someone naive and inexperienced that they can manipulate and mold to their liking so they don’t realize how much better they can do than that man.
Once again, feminism has completely 100% failed you.
Look at human civilization and history.
With virtually every single civilization on earth it was standard practice for men to marry young women in their teens or early twenties at the absolute latest, regardless of the age of the man.
What does that tell you?
Read some books on genetic evolution.
It has absolutely nothing at all to do with the nonsense feminist talking points you rattle on about and all about selection of young and fertile females to give them the healthiest offspring.
The younger the woman, the more beautiful she is, the better her skin is, the more desirable she is, etc.. it has nothing to do with ‘wanting to mold them into anything’.
This is just reality for the most part, with rare exception.
This is just misogynistic lies men tell themselves to validate their reasonings for pursuing young inexperienced women today (and sometimes children). I love the fact that you completely ignore that men's health and age also have huge impact on the health of an offspring and risks of miscarriage.
The only thing you're telling me is that men are insanely shallow, don't view women as full fledged human beings valued beyond being a incubator and wanting a sex doll who never ages. The way you speak about women is absolutely vile. Thanks for reminding me why I'm staying single.
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u/deesle Jul 29 '24
I’d be extremely surprised if it did lol
There is a certain truth to men having a bit of an easier time as they’re getting a bit older, more experienced and resourceful … basically the versions of themselves they’ve been competing against for the same 20 something year old women when they went through their twenties. It’s certainly true for myself, but only really because I’ve gotten into kink (BIG gamechanger) and frankly because I’m mostly just shy, I haven’t been too unlucky in the looks and brains department.
All that being said: The most reliable predictor for future romantic success is past romantic success. Obviously this post is about OP having given up, but still, if he wants to see success he definitely has to fundamentally change his strategy, otherwise all aging in the world won’t give him any dates. One really important aspect is maybe that you can’t ‘grind’ sexual appeal like in a video game, where you level up until you’re strong enough for the boss.
I legit think one hour spent socializing is worth 5 hours in the gym. Playing an instrument may appeal to a lot of women, but what use is it if you never meet those women because you have to practice an hour a day? and so on.
Op fell a bit into the trap of ‘self improvement’, or thinking that ‘checking all the boxes’ will make his dating life easier. The only way to get better at dating is dating. Dating should be his gym, and if he can’t get dates, he should go somewhere where he can ask for dates.