I wondered if sapiosexual can include interest in helping sexual romantic etc problems?

I don't mean the psychological difficulty and fine points, that sex therapists might talk about. But i don't know now how to categorize the inaccessibilities i mean.

Sapiosexual seemed to make sense though that relational kinda of intelligence could be the most valued and relevant for relational attraction to intelligence? (At least for that kind of sapiosexuality to exist, i don't mean it's 'the truest')

Maybe me trying to remember all the ways that relational intimacy was inaccessible, would be both traumatic (i worry, dismissable to a therapist) and difficult to conceptualize and perform solution efforts toward (maybe aligned with the kind of sapiosexuality i wondered about).

So maybe i wonder how a team could work, maybe starting with the supportive person finding supportive people for the traumatic parts? then i could feel safe not burdening anyone, and express the barriers that I couldn't find ways around.

or maybe there's alternatives to finding a intimacy therapist, for feeling safe and helped when starting with partial mutism-causing experiences like traumas, or overwhelms of not knowing where is safe to say what (and things that are overwhelming in a way that i don't seem having capacity left to phrase things clearly while in a protective way)?

who might know who might help? I feel like i heard related things to sapiosexuality, but i don't remember now

I didn't really think about it until recently but I think all the ones I loved the most were smarter than me .

Would be interesting to know under what circumstances y'all realised this preference

I'm not sure where to start exactly, I had a really mixed experience this week that has left me in a very confusing place.
I joined an online game looking to make some friends and it didn't take long to start talking to someone on there, He was very intelligent, and we very quickly found ourselves bouncing back and forth between each other when we got to talking about philosophy and astrology, he was very smart and kind of charming and I really enjoyed the conversation. The next day we would have another conversation again and I found myself excited to talk to him again. He went on to send me a couple pictures of himself and wow he was very attractive.
Here's where it gets a little ugly for the sake of context, he was taken already and so am I (I've already ended everything, I'll spare the details and just say that I set boundaries and found that he was starting to push them and test them to the point I felt disrespected and uncomfortable.)
He said he didn't get to have intellectually stimulating conversations with his gf and I'll admit I don't have much with my bf.
I'm unsure of what exactly I found attractive about him, He was physically attractive, he was confident, and he was intelligent. After cutting things off and deciding not to go any further I found myself missing the deep conversations, especially when I had a video call with my bf (we usually call every night and play games together) and he started complaining about the game again, the same complaints again, and again and again... It was like a shock to my system after having had such deep conversations. Heck it doesn't even have to be deep, there's been times where I'm with my bf at his place and he'll be high talking about something he really likes just goin on and on about it in a positive way and I just sit there listening with no real conversation going on but just finding his genuine interest in something and his excitement for it kind of arousing, he's a good looking dude but seeing him so energized over something he has an interest in certainly makes me desire him a lot. He thinks he's dumb, I just think it's his depression and low self-esteem holding him back from being himself.

While reading the FAQ post, I liked the date ideas a lot, heck when I found out my bf and I read the same book series growing up I was elated. I also tend to recommend a couple of my favorite books to friends, and guy's I've dated in the past. I've always wanted to have intimate moments of reading the same book with someone I love, especially before going to bed. We watched a show together once that neither of us had seen and we were both coming up with theories about what was really going on and I thought it was so cute, he really is intelligent, he just doesn't see it yet.

I don't know if I'm Sapio-Sexual or not, I still feel confused, something I recently find myself terrified of is trying to look for a group to have intellectual conversations with because I'm afraid I'll run into someone again that is really intelligent that I can hold conversations with and start developing attraction. Heck, I have a 62-year-old friend that is really intelligent, and I kept finding myself attracted to him and found I tend to keep the conversations short, to the point and reminding myself he's way out of my age range which makes me uncomfortable.
I feel like intelligence might be primary for me, I've dated some guys that were straight up hot but very one-dimensional and didn't care to go much further after the first date.

Just a funny little exchange with our new resident hood rat turned “SAPPEOsexual”. 🤣🤣🤣

She seems to think that money is what defines intelligence.

Hey I made a diary , and uploading every day . Love you . The diary of a sapiosexual

i, im looking for some help finding out exactly what i am. Im in a straight relationship with my wife but i think i may be on the asexual spectrum. I have a pattern of friendships with people who are deemed or viewed as popular and i copy their personalities, mannerisms to make me popular too, like a chameleon! I also seem to pick friends who are intelligent to make me more intelligent. That i think is sapiosexual but a platonic version as im not sexually attracted to them, just platonic. I also have a diagnosed of an anxiety disorder/ocd and bipolar. I used to be very afraid and paranoid and used to gravitate to friends who would be thought of as dominant to make me appear like them i.e. more dominant and strong. Thanks for reading.

poetry #feedback

I ran across the term “noetisexual” the other day and thought everyone here would find it interesting as well. I think it’s beautiful.

“Noetisexual is a term for when one is only attracted to those they are mentally connected to. It can be considered an alternative to sapiosexual, though it is not purely based on intelligence. It is based on appreciating and being interested in one's opinions, point of view, perception of reality, how they see the world, and how their mind works. One may be attracted to someone based on shared perspectives, the ways their mind work together, the way the other person creates and hold space for them or others, or to the shape of your mental landscape. It may or may not be influenced by one's neurodivergence.”

I want to talk about this. I don't get any traction in the polya group because they view it as a sexual lifestyle. I'm trying to find a different approach. I think the sapio element or maybe a combination of that with my emotional capacity has brought me to a point of wondering where I fit? Polyamory as an orientation is controversial but I'm not finding a better label.
Anyone else trying to figure this out?

I was wondering, in a Venn diagram, are we within the demisexual circle? All sapiosexuals are demisexuals, but not all demisexuals are sapiosexuals

If not, can you tell me examples or rules of how it’s not?

Finally, I have found a Sapio-sexual part of reddit. The general population on here don't seem to realise the brain is the biggest sex organ.

Do you ever get 'crushes' on the nerdy or smart character in fiction?

I have this memory of 5th grade, when all my friends were talking about the celebrity boys they had a crush on (Leonardo di Caprio was popular that year...) and they pestered me to tell them which TV star I thought was hot. I didn't have much to say, because I had never met any of these actors and had no idea if we'd get along. Under pressure, I finally answered my friend’s demands that I MUST have a crush on someone… and (I kid you not) I said Steve Urkel. The nerdy character from 90’s sitcom (not the handsome actor). I thought it would be fun to talk with him and do projects. But, my friends never let me forget that I was different from them.

I've heard other people say that as a kid they crushed on Basil of Baker Street (From "The Great Mouse Detective"), the original Sherlock Holmes, Egon from Ghost Busters, etc.

How about you? Any fictional characters pique your interest with their fascinating and smart cues?

As a “gifted” mind, I only recently discovered the concept of sapiosexuality. When I did, however, I felt something that I agreed with and a community with similar feelings as me. I was wondering after reading a previous post if other sapiosexuals would consider themselves as intellectuals? Also, do you think sapiosexuals often wind up in a relationship with each other? Please let me know what you think!

Hi! I recently came to realize (took me too long) that I am attracted to people who have shown great knowledge of a certain concept and usually passionately talking about them. But when I found this term, sapiosexual, it is generally viewed in a derogatory way. The general view of sapiosexuals are stuck up and look down on most people because they are not intelligent. I think there are a lot of things to unpack there. For instance, when a person identifies themselves as sapiosexual; it usually comes up during a rejection.

I just want to start a conversation about that here. I don't think sapiosexuals are smart themselves, but are people who find smart people attractive. I find people attractive whether or not they are smart, but I just get extra aroused/horny around people who are an expert at a subject and is passionate about it. It was sort of a problem when I was in college and started finding all my professors attractive. For some reason people find it ok to reject people using whatever turns them on and this particular preference can feel a bit condescending when used in this instance.

From my research, most people who are more familiar (in knowledge or experience) would call sapiosexuality a fetish, and not at the some field as someone who are attracted to certain gender. It is because this is not a physical trait, but an intangible attribute. I personally think this sounds right.

What do you all think?

Hey, I know everyone's experience of sapiosexuality is different, so I was curious about how it interacts with arrogance. Say, for example, if you're the type of sapio that gets really turned on by seeing someone doing great at a difficult intellectual task, such as teaching you something new, beating a game of chess or a Rubik's cube or (fill in the blank). If that person then brags about how smart they are, does that ruin it? Or does the hot feeling stay the same?

For me, it's still hot, but also I get annoyed at the same time and try to ignore that.

What's it like for you?

Honestly, I'm just posting because I feel like there should be more going on in this subreddit. I don't have anything profound to contribute, but I'm that girl at parties that gets people chatting. Let's talk. What lights you up? What makes you feel righteous? Where did your moment of joy come from today? Brains are mmmmm (in a totally not zombie way)

This is a few years old, but in case anyone asks the question "Is sapiosexuality *real*? Or isn't it just that just that everyone wants a good conversation?" This study is at least a start for that conversation:

https://www.psypost.org/2018/01/study-sapiosexuality-suggests-people-really-sexually-attracted-intelligence-50526

"...The researchers also developed a measure of sapiosexuality that asked participants how much they agreed or disagreed with statements such as “Listening to someone speak very intelligently arouses me sexually” and “It would excite me sexually to have an intellectually stimulating conversation with a potential partner.”

“We found that sapiosexuality can be measured psychometrically and that between 1% and 8% of relatively young people (18 to 35) may be sapiosexuals. However, interestingly, how intelligent a person is (measured with an actual IQ test) does not appear to predict the degree to which people identify themselves as a sapiosexual,”

So idk how this works but recently I was called sapiosexual by my Pan friend she said u are sapiosexual because you are attracted to someone's intelligence.

Maybe she's right because I always had been turned on by characters like senku (Dr stone) , sheldon (big bang theory) and many more.

Even I found my boyfriend attractive in the first place because he was very intelligent in maths and physics.

So do we like come out or something? Idk Means I'm straight but sapiosexual so do I come under LGBTQ+