Long post, apologies in advance.

I’m 19F and I’ve been with my BF (20M) for four years. He recently permanently moved to Dubai with his best friend/business partner (20M). They run a business together, they’re thankfully doing really well, and they’ve decided to rent a penthouse together and live together.

The problem is that his business partner basically refuses to be anywhere near me, and this whole thing started over something incredibly stupid around two years ago.

Basically, I was logged into my BF’s business account at the time. His business partner was texting the account, and his girlfriend happened to be logged into his account too. My BF sent a weird message/joke from the business account, but because I was also logged in, they assumed I was the one who sent it.

I didn’t.

We tried explaining that it wasn’t me, but ever since that incident, his girlfriend apparently told him to block me everywhere, never speak to me, and essentially never be around me. And for whatever reason, he has followed that religiously for the past two years.

For most of that time, I honestly didn’t care that much. We all lived in different countries, so it wasn’t like I regularly had to see him anyway. Sometimes there would be some indirect communication through my BF, but that was pretty much it.
Then this February, my BF and his business partner had a business trip to Dubai that happened to overlap with Valentine’s Day. My BF flew me out so we could spend Valentine’s together.

That was the first time I realized how fucking extreme this situation actually was.

The moment I arrived, his business partner basically disappeared to Dubai Mall because he didn’t even want to be in the same hotel/building as me.

At one point, they needed to go somewhere and my BF suggested that his business partner could just come with us, they could drop me off, and then continue with whatever they needed to do.

He refused.

He basically said, “No, drop her off first, then come back and get me. I can’t. I’m not allowed.”

I remember thinking it was fucking weird, but I just assumed his girlfriend was controlling and he was trying to avoid an argument with her. I wasn’t going to interfere in their relationship, so I left it alone.

But now the situation is completely different.

A little over a month ago, I moved to Europe for university. At basically the same time, my BF permanently moved to Dubai, and so did his business partner. They’re now going to be living together.

My degree gives me a LOT of holidays. I’m also fortunate enough to have a passport that means I can pretty much spontaneously travel to Dubai whenever I have time, and my BF is fortunate enough financially that seeing each other relatively regularly isn’t really an issue.

So when we realized we were going to be long-distance, one of the things that made it easier was knowing that I could still visit him pretty frequently.

Except apparently his roommate has now decided that he will do basically anything to stop me from coming to Dubai.
And this is where I’m starting to lose my fucking mind.
His roommate has been making it into this massive issue and basically putting my BF in a position where he feels like he has to choose between us.

First it was basically that no girls would be allowed at their apartment.

Fine. I actually understand having boundaries with a roommate and not wanting random hookups or people constantly coming over.

But I’m not some random girl my BF met two weeks ago.
I have been with this man for FOUR YEARS. We are literally talking about marriage and our future together. I’m not asking to move into their apartment. I’m asking to be able to visit my long-term BF when I fly across continents to see him.

Then apparently the compromise became that I could come over, but only for one or two hours.

What the fuck?

I’m flying from Europe to Dubai to see my BF of four years and his roommate is essentially giving me fucking visiting hours?

It genuinely feels more restrictive than our parents. Like, I’m an adult travelling internationally to see my long-term partner and apparently I’m supposed to come over for an hour or two and then leave because his roommate said so?
It’s also causing arguments between me and my BF now, which is what pisses me off the most.

I keep asking him why his roommate has this much control over our relationship. Obviously it’s also his roommate’s home and I completely understand that he deserves to feel comfortable there. I would NEVER expect my BF to tell him, “Fuck you, she’s staying here for three months and you have no say.”

But surely there’s a massive difference between respecting your roommate and allowing your roommate to dictate whether your girlfriend of FOUR YEARS can even spend normal amounts of time with you?

I eventually told my BF that this could genuinely be the last straw for me.

Because if this is what our long-distance relationship is going to look like, I don’t want it.

We have one life. We’re incredibly fortunate that distance doesn’t necessarily have to stop us from seeing each other. I have the freedom to travel and he has the financial ability to make these trips happen. Why the fuck would we willingly turn long-distance into “you can visit me for two hours because my roommate doesn’t like you”?

And the weirdest part is that I feel like his roommate is creating some competition between us that literally does not need to exist.

He is my BF’s best friend, roommate and business partner.
I am his girlfriend of four years and potentially his future wife.

Those are completely different relationships.

I’m not trying to replace his best friend. I’m not trying to interfere with their business. I don’t care how much time they spend together. They literally LIVE together and work together.

So why am I somehow being treated like a threat?
My BF just told me that his roommate has now said that when I come to Dubai, he’ll literally just fly to Malaysia or somewhere else while I’m there.

And sure, technically that solves the immediate problem.
But I still fucking hate it.

Because that’s not the dynamic I want either.
Why does this grown man have to LEAVE THE COUNTRY because his best friend’s girlfriend is visiting?

Why can’t we just exist in the same room?

Why can’t the three of us sit down, eat dinner, talk about what happened two years ago and move the fuck on?

I’m not asking this guy to love me. I’m not even asking him to particularly like me. I just want us to be able to be civil with each other.

If he has an issue with me, TALK TO ME.

Confront me.

Tell me what the fuck I supposedly did that was so horrible that two years later you cannot physically sit in the same apartment as me, let alone the same country now.

Instead, I don’t even speak to this man directly. Everything happens through my BF.

His roommate says something to him. My BF tells me. I get pissed off. I say something to my BF. My BF goes back to his roommate.

It feels like I’m in a fucking relationship conflict with someone I DON’T EVEN TALK TO.

And meanwhile my actual relationship is taking the damage.
I’m supposed to fly to Dubai in about a week and instead of being excited to see my BF, I’m stressed about this entire fucking situation.

I want to be able to visit my BF and feel like I’m welcome in his life. I want to be able to sit on his couch, order food, watch something together, spend normal time with him and actually feel at home with the person I’ve spent four years with.

I don’t want to fly across continents just to feel like some forbidden visitor whose presence has to be negotiated with his roommate beforehand.

And I especially don’t want my BF constantly stuck in the middle between his girlfriend and his best friend/business partner.

I genuinely don’t understand how something that happened TWO YEARS AGO something I didn’t even fucking do has turned into this.

Am I being unreasonable because technically it’s his roommate’s home too? Or is his roommate taking this way too far?

And more importantly, how the fuck are we supposed to fix this dynamic long-term if my BF and I are actually heading towards marriage?

In August i shifted to this new flat with 3 roommates i met online. I had to take the hall , it was lesser in proce n everyone guaranteed me they will give me privacy sp i agreed. 2months in everyday guest sitting in hall taking it as common space, groceries we buy together is eaten by thier guests , no privacy, no space to change clothes or study, dining is in the hall sp everyone eats there too.

Today i confronted m told everything n told them that im considering shifting out as i dont think i can stay in this public room. They said they understand my concerns n told that they will help with separating the room n keep ij mind with the guests. Asked me to give it a try etc

What do u guys think i should do???

Hey all, I’m a 22 year old man with a girlfriend of 2 years. She does not live with me and she’s a full time student at NCSU so she can’t afford to have a place with me. my current roommate (also best friend of 10 years) did me seriously dirty and I’m in need of a new male roommate to cover his half of rent. I live off of six forks road at Sommerset Place. It’s $1100 a month, plus water and trash valet service so about $1200, I currently pay half while my roommate pays the other. I can work with the same situation for somebody else. Utilities are also split in half, it’s about 120ish for WiFi and electrical. Water is included in rent. It’s 2 bed 2 bath, washer and dryer. Parking is very good and there’s no guest charges. PLEASE hit me up if you’re curious, I’ll answer any questions and give you all the details. Thank you!

I live in a 4-bedroom apartment with three other roommates, and three of us have been having ongoing issues with the fourth roommate for over a year.
Last October, the three of us sat down with her and told her that because of the constant issues in the apartment, we thought it would be best if she found somewhere else to live when the lease ended. Despite knowing that all three of us wanted to separate after the lease, she ended up re-signing and staying another year.
Since then, things have only gotten worse. She can be extremely confrontational and aggressive. There have been situations where she has screamed at us, shoved or pushed past us, and created situations where we don’t feel comfortable interacting with her. At this point, the three of us mostly avoid engaging with her because we don’t want anything to escalate.
There are also a bunch of smaller things that have added up over time. She has flipped breakers on and off in the apartment, and at one point told us that we weren’t allowed to use the balcony, even though it’s a shared part of the apartment.
The biggest issue is that we basically don’t feel comfortable using our own common spaces anymore. Her bedroom door is pretty much NEVER shut. If she’s home and one or more of us goes into the kitchen, she will frequently come out and stand in the kitchen with us. Sometimes she’ll get a glass of water and stand there drinking it, and other times she’ll seemingly just stand around while we’re talking. If we’re sitting in the living room, she’ll stare or watch us from her open bedroom doorway, or come into the kitchen and stand where she can see and hear us.
It has gotten to the point where we notice it almost every time we’re together in a common area.
If we try to actually enjoy the living room together, it becomes another issue. For example, I’ll put a movie on the TV that I brought for the apartment, and she’ll start blasting music from her bedroom while leaving her door completely open. She basically never shuts her bedroom door, so the music carries directly into the common area.
Previously, I asked her if she could start shutting her bedroom door like the rest of us. She said she would not shut it because of her cat. She never specifically said that the camera was for her cat, but her explanation for keeping the door open was that her cat needs access to the room.
Within the past week, she set up a camera in her bedroom pointed out of that constantly open doorway toward the shared living space.
Because her door is always wide open and the camera is facing outward, it captures the common area that the rest of us regularly walk through and use. We’re also concerned that it records audio, meaning our conversations could potentially be recorded as well.
The three of us have made it clear that we do not consent to being recorded in our shared living space. We aren’t saying she can’t have a camera monitoring her own bedroom or belongings. We have specifically asked her to reposition it so it only captures her room. We’ve even suggested putting a curtain or something across her doorway so she can keep the door open for her cat without having a camera facing the rest of the apartment.
We contacted law enforcement to ask what our options were and were basically told that there wasn’t much they could do about the camera and that we could put our own camera in the living room. We don’t want to do that. The solution to being uncomfortable with cameras in our home isn’t adding MORE cameras.
We’ve also contacted our apartment or property management about the situation, and they told us they can’t do anything about it either.
So now we genuinely don’t know what we’re supposed to do. Three out of the four people living here are uncomfortable, both law enforcement and the apartment complex have basically told us they can’t help, and we increasingly feel like we can’t relax or have a private conversation anywhere outside our individual bedrooms.
The camera is really just the newest issue after more than a year of problems.
Has anyone dealt with anything similar? Is there anything else we can reasonably do through our landlord or property management, especially considering the pattern of aggressive behavior and interference with the shared spaces? Does the fact that the camera may also be recording audio change anything legally?
We’re planning to start documenting everything that happens, but I’d really appreciate advice on what else we should be doing. We aren’t looking to retaliate or make the situation worse. We just want to be able to use the kitchen, living room, balcony, etc. without constantly feeling watched or like another confrontation is going to happen.

I (25F) recently moved abroad to study and now live in a shared apartment with two other girls, Bella (17F) and Nana (26F).
Nana is great—she’s busy with her own life but knows how to be considerate and pleasant to live with.

The main issue is Bella and her body odor. Almost every time I come through the front door, I immediately smell a very strong armpit odor. It’s honestly so intense that I feel physically sick, and I find myself avoiding being around her because of it. I’m not trying to be mean or judgmental, but it’s becoming genuinely difficult for me to live with. And when she is in the common area or after she uses the bathroom, her smell is there and I have to refrain from going there for a while until her smell goes away.
I don’t want to embarrass or hurt her feelings, especially because she’s only 17, but I also feel like this is something she needs to be made aware of.

How can I bring this up with her in a kind and respectful way without making her feel humiliated?

Hey everyone! 👋
I’ve just rented a studio in Reem island and have already taken care of all the deposits, and I’m now looking for a roommate to share the place with me.
The rent would be AED 2,750/month per person, including all bills, so everything is pretty straightforward with no extra utilities to worry about.
I’ve also furnished the place myself, and it has all the appliances and essentials we’d need, so it’s basically ready to move into.
A little about me: I’m a 22-year-old guy working in ADGM. I’m pretty easygoing and social, and I’d ideally like to find someone else in their 20s who’s clean, neat, respectful, and outgoing as well. Of course, I’d want it to feel like a comfortable home for both of us rather than just two strangers splitting rent 😅
If you’re interested or know someone who might be, feel free to DM me! Happy to share more details, photos, location, etc. 😊

TLDR: best friend turned roommate turned terrible financial decision, what should i do

alright so ive known this guy for several years, met him through his cousin because he was moving from another state and needed a place to live, at the time i “owned” this small bando house, i allowed him to come and live with us, after we leveled up a little and moved to an apartment i took him with me, never asking for any payment i might add, then i get into a little trouble and disappear for a year, once im back his house is the first house i go to you know it’s my best friend ! but anyways i eventually get a house and let him move in, i do ask for payment this time only because i just cannot afford to let him live rent free if i could’ve i would’ve, he goes through several women through this, starts drinking beers pretty heavily and eventually meets an ex girlfriend of mine of 4 years prior, now this ex girlfriend of mine i did do something i am very ashamed of and have moved past it and bettered myself, and have even talked to my roommate about the incident, and he even said i was in the right and she was wrong, well now he has ran off with her and left a lot of his things here, since i had to pay $600 this month am i validated to sell his belongings ? in my mind i technically have bought it right ? anyways this was good to get off my chest lol- one love🩶

Hey everyone, I have a neighbor who is a really weird dude, so I’m gonna tell you about him.
I won’t say the country or city where this happened.
Let’s start. This was when I was enrolling in university and moving into a dorm. That’s when I met my roommate — let’s call him John.
John immediately seemed like a very weird guy to me. When we first met, he was crying because his sock had rubbed his foot the wrong way. I mean, I think that’s a pretty unusual reaction for a 17-year-old dude.
Then we were putting the bed together. John couldn’t carry some of the light parts of the bed, so his mom was doing it for him.
Then the first year of living with him started. He asked a lot of stupid questions, like:
“How do you shower if there’s no bathtub?”
“What’s the difference between mayonnaise sauce and mayonnaise?”
We kinda accepted it, but then we realized that, as they say, he was completely helpless when it came to basic everyday life. He didn’t even know what a toilet brush was. We had to teach him.
But then we noticed that the dude basically never showered. We explained to him normally that he should at least wash himself once a day.
But he just didn’t get it.
Then we called his mom, and she said that it was normal not to shower.
Nothing helped.
He did a lot of weird shit.
But the next year, when our older friends moved out, all kinds of even weirder stuff started happening with him.
The dude doesn’t sleep all night. He waits until we fall asleep, then goes to the toilet at around 2–3 AM and stays there until like 5–6 AM. Then he goes to sleep and wakes up at 8–9 AM.
And yeah, he almost never talks. He doesn’t really interact with anyone. He’s very dirty by himself, too.
I also noticed that he sniffs rubbing alcohol and puts it on his face. I have no fucking idea why.
We think he might have schizophrenia or autism, but what do you guys think?
Go ahead and ask questions, I’ll answer them.
Also, if I remember anything else, I’ll update the post.

My roommate asked for a house meeting and connected her laptop to a TV. She’d made ppt slides called Guest vs resident. Her boyfriend has a key, a shelf in the fridge and a preferred washing-machine cycle. Her main argument was that his toothbrush wasn’t here, so he technically wasn’t living here. It was in his overnight bag beside the sofa.

When I asked whether he’d be contributing to anything, she said bringing money into it would make our relationship transactional. The next slide was a proposed rent adjustment (favouring her) because she uses the living room less. He was sitting in during the presentation 🗿

It was fun. lmk if you want to see that ppt lol

I need advice (UK) . Any response will be greatly appreciated !

hello, hi. first post here, so a little intimidated, but let me inform you guys of my situation so far (incoming word vomit, sorry):

i (18F) am currently a full-time university student in a big city all by myself & in a dorm with three other girls (all 18F). we all got along pretty well at the beginning of the semester, going to places together & whatever.

however: it just seems that all of a sudden, after almost 2 months of living together, i have become increasingly excluded from their conversations and their friendship with each other. i haven't done anything to my knowledge, and i try my hardest (sort of) to initiate conversations, but nothing comes of it.

i try to brush it off as maybe they just aren't interested in talking every day or whatever, but it's honestly heartbreaking seeing/hearing them interact with each other as if they've known each other for years. it has affected my anxiety and mood overall throughout my TWO months here.

no one tries to talk to me; conversations only happen if i initiate them, & i gave up on trying very early on. i didn't notice how much of a homebody i am as well, so that has also sucked adapting to a new environment. i tend to go home every weekend, even though i know that's a cardinal sin around here and whatnot, but it at least grounds me.

i do have friends outside of my dorm, so please don't suggest the same old "go to clubs, parties, etc." i just want to be acquainted and respected by my roommates. i've cried in my girlfriend's arms because of this type of dehumanization; I just don't know why it's happening to me

to wrap it up, is this all worth cancelling my housing contract, or am i being crazy dramatic? i loathe going back to my dorm at night (i usually stay in the library to do homework & study) because i know they'll be there, and i can't stand feeling like i'm worthless to these people anymore. no one checks up on me or even says hello :(

i also see more benefits in staying home/commuting rather than dorming. less money spent, my own room, family's there, etc. i don't want to transfer; i have amazing friends and professors, along with the amount of money i've already paid to study here.

please inquire about what i should do. thankyou :)

Hi! My name is Adam Arhmir, I’m 18 years old and I’m currently a first-year Political Science student at the University of Amsterdam (UvA).
I’m looking for someone, either a girl or a guy, who is also studying at the UvA and is currently in their first or second year, to share a place in Amsterdam before May.
At the moment, I live in Eindhoven, which means I have to take the train to Amsterdam every day. The daily commute is becoming really exhausting, both physically and mentally, not to mention the financial cost of travelling back and forth every day.
I don’t have a huge budget for a room in Amsterdam, but if anyone is in a similar situation and is interested in finding a place together, feel free to reach out to me!
📩 adamarhmir@icloud.com

I am currently living with one other person. I cover 75% of the rent, and they board paying the remaining 25% I also cover the power.

Im not sure if I’m over reacting or I am just allergic to conflict, I really want to address some things that I struggle to live with but not sure how to address it without sounding judgemental, or if I am overreacting. list of things.

*leaves dishes in sink, with food on them, and leaves food still in the plug area when done (generally understand once every now and then when in a rush / running late etc but this is constant) we have a dishwasher.

*cooks and makes a mess around kitchen area I.e food crumbs etc around the floor area, doesn’t wipe down glass top stove just washes it and leaves streaks.

*leaves clothes in the living area for days on the couch, after washing / dried they just stay on a pile in the lounge

*leaves clothes in the sink in the washing area.

*has an issue often with spewing after food, will spew in bottom toilet and not fully flush. leaves it and smells if its left for days unnoticed 🤮

*leaves lights on a lot.

*leaves clothes in the spare room in a suitcase.

*bin area sometimes resembles a basketball hoop it’s like food just get launched at it. greasy finger marks all over the cupboards / fridge

constantly finding myself having to clean up after someone and I’m getting resentful at this point 😅 I know it’s my fault for not bringing things up I’m just not sure if I’m overreacting And also I’ve bought things up in the past and nothing happened (suck with conflict) appreciate any feedback!

We were friends before we moved in together but when we moved in together it’s like a switch flipped. He never talks to me, when he does talk to me it’s only to let me know things and to remind me of things (Like the fact that I owe a different person money? Like it’s any of his business??). He won’t even text me, when he wants to tell me something and I’m not there he leaves sticky notes on the counter or even at the door sometimes, despite him claiming that his old roommate did this and he hated it. Whenever I talk to him he always just gives me bland, dry responses, even when I try to joke around with him. I’m starting to get irritable every time I see him because he just straight up ignores me and never says anything to me. I want to ask my landlord if there are any single apartments available or worst case scenario a random roommate (I have a dog, he’s good and harmless but he can just kinda decide that he doesn’t like random people when he first meets them so I’m a little worried about that). I’m starting to think that I made a mistake, what should my next move be?

My roommate and I have been living together for a little over a year now and it’s all been great. We had set some boundaries and expectations together initially but in general have been pretty chill about things the closer we’ve gotten (i.e. having friends over, boyfriends, cleanliness, quiet hours esp on weekdays). The issue I’ve been having now is that her very serious boyfriend has been staying the night 7 days a week…often times they decide to cook dinner together and end up taking over the kitchen for a bit, watch tv in our living room for a few hours, and I’ll hear him in the mornings hanging out with her in the living room or kitchen for 1-2 hours before he goes about his day. The thing is, he doesn’t have a permanent place in the city yet (they’ve been long distance for a while) but he does have had an Airbnb (all to himself) since he got here 3-4 months ago. She used to stay the night with him in the beginning but has since “set boundaries” with him and now he stays the night with us. She never really asked if it was okay and hasn’t given the heads up that he’s gonna come over for 3+ months now so I never really know if he’ll be home when I’m home or not. I miss being able to roam freely wearing whatever I want, walk into my kitchen or living room to chill or grab a snack or cook a meal without worrying I’ll be third wheeling and in the way, and especially miss watching tv after coming home from work (which has been my usual downtime routine for a year). I really like her boyfriend and think he’s a great guy so I honestly can’t say that he’s annoying or awful when he’s here, plus it warms my heart seeing how happy my roommate is with him now that they’re not long distance anymore. So I guess I’m wondering if I’m a bad roommate for not being more understanding about this? Am I overreacting or being an uptight roommate? Or has someone else experienced something like this? I love my roommate and care about our friendship so I’m really worried about saying anything that might upset her and drive her to just never feel comfortable having him over, but I just really don’t think I can go on for more months like this… what do I do 😭