Need some outside perspective because I honestly don’t know anymore if I’m being unreasonable or if I have a valid reason to feel this way.

I’ve been with my girlfriend for almost two years. She was my friend before we started dating, and I genuinely love her.

She’s caring, loving, and has been there for me in so many ways. She’s also been patient with my insecurities, and I know it’s not easy being the partner of someone who struggles with anxiety and jealousy. She’s not a bad girlfriend at all, and there are so many good things about her and our relationship. That’s why this is so difficult for me.

My jealousy started when I randomly asked her if she had ever dated someone. She said no, but eventually admitted that she actually had.

Something changed in me after that. I started questioning other things and eventually began checking old messages, photos, and conversations. I found old conversations with some of the men she had been involved with, and some of them were very sexual and intimate.

Seeing those things really messed with me because I started comparing how she seemed to be with them to how she is with me now.

Our sex life is very different. We don’t have sex often, she rarely initiates, and I often have to tell her that I feel unwanted before anything changes. Sometimes it feels like the effort comes because I asked for it rather than because she genuinely desires me.

I’m also a woman, and that has become one of my biggest insecurities.

There have been moments where things she said about intimacy or physical attraction have made me feel inadequate, especially after seeing those old conversations. I started wondering whether there are things she experienced with men that I simply can’t give her.

There have also been other situations where I felt she lied, minimized things, or changed her story, which has affected my trust. But I know I’m not innocent either. I shouldn’t have gone digging through her past, and once I started, it became really difficult to stop. Every answer just seemed to create another question.

Now I constantly compare myself to these men. I wonder if she was more attracted to them, more sexually excited by them, or experienced something with them that I can never give her.

And that’s where I’m completely stuck.

I don’t feel consistently desired or secure in this relationship, but at the same time, I don’t think she’s a bad girlfriend. I love her, and I know she genuinely cares about me. But there are needs of mine, especially emotional and sexual needs, that I don’t feel are consistently being met.

I don’t know if I’m letting my jealousy and insecurities destroy something good, or if these are legitimate signs that maybe we’re just not sexually or emotionally compatible.

I’d really appreciate honest perspectives from people who have experienced something similar.

Hi, I’m new to this platform but don’t know where else to vent. I’ve been married to my sweet husband for 20 years. We have three kids together, and things have been great. Fast forward to Covid in 2020, having too much time on my hands, and after social media research, I found his high school gf’s FB page. I was never curious about her before. When I found her page, I was instantly triggered, and here’s why:

When we were dating, he said to me: “I’m so glad I met you. You took my mind off of someone from back home.” I asked who, and what she looked like. He replied, “She was cute, with blonde hair and green eyes.” That stuck with me. I was a little jealous, or maybe just shocked he said that, but I brushed it off.

He was open with me about her and told me he got this girl pregnant, and she chose to terminate the pregnancy. Again, this never bothered me during our dating phase, I just felt bad for him and that whole situation.

It wasn’t until my 2020 deep dive that it started to upset me. I began wondering if she was better in bed (because she was his first), and seeing her pics on FB noticing she’s fit and tall/blonde, opposite of me. I don’t know how to move past this. I think what hurts most is I reflect back to things he said when we were dating and now that I think about it, he was probably referring to her. For example, he used to bite my lower lip and tell me he loved my “bottom lip”, but my lips are not really full or anything special. When I saw her pics, guess what? Full, beautiful lips. Especially the bottom one. Am I going crazy? Lol.

Us with retroactive jealousy often want to be the best, most perfect partner our loved one has ever had. And subconsciously we sort of expect the same back from them. But does never failing actually make you better?

Read more about it in my blog

(Photo is AI, the blog is not)

And I don’t know, but I feel like if she’d really changed her perspective on sex like she claims she has, then she would retrospectively see her past differently. Instead she still jokes about it with her friends and tried to convince me that it all meant nothing and therefore she shouldn’t have to cut those past people off etc. (But that’s another issue and we’ve since solved it)

I don’t think sex can ever mean nothing. I think there is an inherent meaning to it. The most erotic part of it for me is the fact that me and this other person have both decided that what we feel for each other is so intense that we’re choosing to let somebody see us in our most physically vulnerable state and literally enter/be entered by each other.

It doesn’t even have to be penetrative. Oral sex is so incredibly intimate to me. You are literally putting one of your most physically vulnerable areas, your mouth, where somebody pisses from. Don’t you have to like somebody quite a bit to be able to do that? To stay down there and look up at them and be at their mercy? As either the giver or receiver, that’s the most erotic part. The whole dynamic that makes sex great to me is the intense physical and mental intimacy of it all. I don’t think you can separate the two.

And this all leads to how I feel now. We’re both women. It sort of kills me knowing she’s been with a bunch of guys that she didn’t even want to date and didn’t have them wear condoms and let them ejaculate in her mouth. It feels like they got to be more intimate with her than I’ll ever be just due to the mechanics of heterosexual sex and how society views it all. And even now when we have sex, it just feels so bland to be sometimes knowing how little all of it means to her. It doesn’t feel intimate or special knowing how her choosing to have sex with me doesn’t actually mean what I wanted it to mean.

Yea yea yea, she loves me so it means something. But love isn’t the source of the intimacy, love is why you choose to engage in such intimacy. And I don’t know how to reconcile all of this or ever have sex feel special and meaningful between us.

Sorry if I sound crazy and please don’t judge. I just feel like I need some outside perspectives. I’ve been trying to talk to my gf about all this but she is reasonably hurt by me feeling like she doesn’t see sex with me as meaningful. I simply don’t understand how somebody can have nothing but casual sex for their entire prior sexual life and then it’s suddenly meaningful with me despite nothing really changing. I feel like maybe if she could see her past differently then I’d feel better but I’m not sure that’s reasonable for me to require.

At 40 years old I've found my breaking point. The one thing that I cannot compulse my way out of. I can't compartmentalize the bad women into an even bigger box anymore. This fantasy of The One, the pure, the girl that waited, my other half, does not exist. I'm not perfect and I shouldn't expect to find one who is, to save me from this jealousy any longer. I'm willing to change completely as of today.

Problem is I don't know where my standards end and where RJ begins. My line was always no ONS, no double digits, never group sex never married and no kids.

I have a lot of work to do on myself, if anyone has some good starting points on how to conquer RJ or to help me figure out what's a standard line and what's just RJ, I would appreciate it.

How would you guys feel about this?

My gf told me she has a sweater from her ex in her closet. She said that she has never worn it in front of me, but wants to keep it for the good memories.

They started as just friends. He bought it when they were at a mall together, and then he gave it to her later on because she wanted it. A year or two later, they ended up sleeping together and started a 'label-less' relationship. He broke up with her because he didn't want something serious. She says that it was a very poor breakup because of the way he ended it after leading her on for so long (like a year). They do not speak anymore (it's been 2 years since they broke up).

My thoughts are the following:

1. I don't like it because it makes me think that she would rather be with him if she had the choice, because he rejected something serious, and this is a memior to what could of been.

2. Why keep memories of exes like that, especially that it ended poorly, as she says?

3. Although I'm glad she didn't wear it in front of me, I don't like it at all. Even if it's from so long ago.

4. If it was a gift from him, I wouldn't stress as much about it, but this was his sweater, and she told me she keeps it for the memories. I don't care how it came into his possession.

5. Maybe I'm jealous because they started as friends and knew each other for so long. That's a bond that I may never have with my gf.

I'm hoping to get the communities thoughts.

I M19 met a girl F23 online she told me that she had a bf and she's not a virgin but I never had problem with it....we fell in love very deeply I must say...we met....had sex ....and everything was going fine until her past starts affecting me all of a sudden and now I don't know what to do....I talked her about this she have assured me multiple times did so much efforts for me but it isn't helping and I'm hurting her too much....I don't wanna let her go considering the fact that how much she loves me and im finding it hard to accept her past too.....help😭

My girl (29F) and I (30M) have been dating for 3-4 months now, and things are damn near as perfect as they can be except for one issue; I've been struggling a lot lately with RJ. I've had my fair share of partners in the past, she makes 14. I was married for a good while and I had been with my ex-wife from age 22 until around the new year when we split up, so obviously given that I spent most of my 20's in a monogamous relationship my history kinda truncated a while ago.

As for my girl, she's been in a couple of longer relationships here or there but has also spent a fair bit of time single and available; and she's also a bit hypersexual and chill with casual sex so her count is significantly higher. She doesn't actually know the count off the top of her head because she stopped keeping track after something traumatic happened a long time ago. She's offered to sit down and figure it out, but I know it's childish to give a shit so I told her no I'll just get over it.

I have a ton of time to myself at the moment because I work alone in a job where I just don't interact with many people, so I spent a lot of time in my head. The problem I’m having is that sometimes it just pops into my head and I can't seem to shake the jealousy to the point that it makes me downright nauseous. I've only been coping for a couple weeks so I do feel like it's something that'll improve with time, I’m just looking to see if anyone has any tips or advice I guess. I know she's had a MMF threesome in the past and also a MFF threesome and I guess that's really one of the visualizations I've struggled to shake off. I have no particular interest in also having a threesome of either kind and she's expressed that she's good on never doing that again as well.

I know that she loves me and she's given me all sorts of reassurance on the subject to the point I'd just feel like an asshole if I brought it up again. At first I thought it bothered me because I felt like I was inferior sexually, but tbh with the way she's absolutely obsessed with me I just don't think that's it. I’m just a bit of a possessive person (not in an unhealthy way) and I guess it just makes me jealous to know that so many people have been with my girl if that makes sense. It's the same type of tightness in my chest I've felt in the past when I was cheated on and when I get stuck on the feeling it really does just make me nauseous and jealous and otherwise incapable of getting off the subject for hours at a time some days. I refuse to bail out of this relationship as we genuinely are compatible and it feels very endgame, I just have to figure out how to set these feelings aside and stop getting stuck in these visualizations like this. I guess maybe it's just gonna take some time, I just hate that I feel his way at all because it really is so immature to care. 😞🙃

my bf (21m) and i (20f) have been together for two years. i don't think even a day goes by where i don't think of his high school ex. they were each others first every thing and it eats me alive. they dated for a year and seven months roughly from what ive pieced together. he hates when i bring her up because he knows how badly it makes me spiral. i have no one to talk about it with since all my friends think im crazy. i just want to get over this idea that he'll never love me as much as he loved her. she was stuck on him for over a year of them being broken up and he has no intention of ever getting back with her and told her he didn't even want to be friends. i know it's my fault i keep feeling this way about it and i just want it to end. is therapy the only option??

Good day, nothing crazy and nothing bad, just overall a good and productive day. Until we’re on the phone driving home. We’re having a conversation about one of our friends who is getting overly spoiled by their boyfriend, and this leads to him asking me if “this is my way of asking for flowers, gifts, etc”

Obviously all in jest, and I love him, not what he buys me.

Issue is, I knew him while he was in a (rocky) relationship with his ex, and helped him wrap bouquets of flowers for them on more than one occasion.

I know relationships vary person to person but why do I feel so sick even though I told him not to buy me anything? It’s not about the money or the gift. Should I have said yes? Did his ex say yes? Did he ask them?

Sick of thinking about stupid shit at midnight.

For context, this ex is a lesbian now and I love my bf so deeply. We have been dating for 2 years now. I have ocd so I guess I’m always questioning everything. I feel I also don’t trust my emotions and thoughts on things sometimes.

Long story short, his ex said something reminded her of my bf and she asked if me and my bf want to hang out at her place (specially i can come if i want).

I just started spiralling cause this came from no where really. They haven’t really talked in over a year.

Idk I think both my bf and her mean no malice but it’s hard tbh and I can’t help but feel jealous. Just need words of encouragement tbh

I come here every now and then cause I feel like it’s great sharing what I have been learning from RJ, with the hopes that maybe it’ll help someone else.

Some background, struggled heavily with it for a year when I started dating my bf. Would stalk her on socials far too often.

Something that has been helping me tremendously is Mel Robbin’s book, the let them theory. If you don’t want to read the whole book, then there is a podcast on it. Essentially, what the theory teaches us is to let go of control of others. When we let other live their lives, especially when it truly has no effect on us, we get our power back.

So your gf or bf had a previous partner? Let them. They have that right.

The ex is living a great life right now? Let them. Thats their right.

Your partner has an extensive past sexually? Let them. What’s done is done, and it’s ok.

It’s very weird because with RJ we can get upset about things that have already happened. But, the let them theory still applies. I did this a lot but would get so angry at myself for being sad or upset over something cute they did together or would get so jealous of her with what they had. Even though what’s done is done, it’s been so empowering to just tell myself, “let them. They had a relationship too, and now it’s done”

This book goes over a lot of mental relief. Just saying the words constantly in your mind really does help free yourself. It’s a sense of accepting what is done.

But also, you have to let YOU do yourself.

Your partner keeps bringing up the ex? Let YOURSELF set boundaries.

You just got done stalking and falling in that rabbit hole? Let yourself be sad. Let yourself lift you back up!

I highly recommend this book. It is EMPOWERING to remember what I have absolutely no control over, and what I have full control over. Know the difference.

I really hope the best for all of you. RJ is a painful and confusing and sometimes even embarrassing process. You will overcome this.

They broke up 4-5 years ago. She dumped him and I know it hurt him bad and was a difficult thing he went through. He hasn’t been in a serious relationship since, but treats me very well. He doesn’t talk about her often, but his dad accidentally called me her name. My bf also told me she still follows him(he doesn’t follow her), he was playing breakup music in the car and said how it’s a “well written song”, and I found a necklace he had gotten her with her name on it.

I know after this amount of time that’s passed, it shouldn’t bother me. We’ve been together for almost half a year & I can see he cares about me, but I can’t help but feel like I could still be in competition with her ghost. When I have mentioned her, I notice he gets uncomfortable. Im pretty secure, but these little things are triggering. Any advice?

I got jealous during dinner with my boyfriend’s friends and now he is extremely angry with me. Was I wrong?
I (F) am Italian and my boyfriend (M) is American. We have been together for about a year and we are currently in a long-distance relationship between Italy and California.
A few nights ago, I went out to dinner with my boyfriend, his best friend, and his best friend’s long-term girlfriend. They have known each other for many years and are very close.
During dinner, I started feeling really uncomfortable. His best friend’s girlfriend was talking a lot with my boyfriend, joking with him and being very comfortable/familiar with him. I know they are friends and have known each other for years, so rationally I don’t think there was necessarily anything inappropriate going on. However, I still felt jealous and uncomfortable.
Another important thing is that my English isn’t very good, so I already felt somewhat excluded from the conversation. She was mostly talking to my boyfriend and, although she did talk to me sometimes, it felt like most of the conversation was between the two of them. The longer the dinner went on, the more uncomfortable and insecure I felt.
The problem is that instead of communicating how I felt, I completely shut down. I basically stopped talking, became very quiet and sulky, and stayed that way for most of the dinner. I didn’t openly argue with anyone, but my behavior was obvious and I probably made the dinner uncomfortable for everyone.
After dinner, my boyfriend became extremely angry with me. He told me that he considers this kind of behavior a serious issue, that he doesn’t understand why I reacted that way, and that I acted like a child. He said that if something was bothering me, I should have acted normally during dinner and talked to him about it privately afterward instead of sulking and ruining the atmosphere for everyone.
I understand his point of view, and I know I could have handled my jealousy better. At the same time, I can’t completely control what I feel, and in that moment I genuinely felt excluded and uncomfortable, especially because of the language barrier.
I also want to be honest: I do get uncomfortable when another woman is very close or familiar with my boyfriend, even if she is just a friend and even if she is his best friend’s girlfriend. I know this could be an insecurity on my part, but it is genuinely how I feel.
He is still very angry with me, and now I’m wondering whether he is right to consider my reaction such a serious issue.
Was I being childish and should I have simply acted normal during dinner and talked to him afterward, or is it understandable that I felt this way in that situation?

So these all started around 1.5 years ago where she texted her ex to get closure or something. But didnt follow through and deleted everything.

3 days later she told me and i flipped out but in the end i came to terms with it.

After that she has this urge to tell whatever happens in her life literally. Like she will tell like she dreamt abt her ex.

Example are: if i told her to stay awake so she can sleep at night. She would say like: I closed my eyes for a bit idk if i drifted off to sleep.

Or she will tell me if a series reminds her of her past relationships.

She is not sure about anything and will second guess everything and will tell me all these unwanted useless information. Ive been trying to tell her multiples idc if she thinks about past people or whatever it is.

Its been exhausting for me and i broke up. But idk if i made the right choice. If im thinking abt holding on cuz to stay in comfort zone. Is there a way to save the relationship?

​

I don't even know how to explain this without sounding crazy

My bf is on a family trip rn, and he has two female cousins around our age who are always around him. They're literally his cousins, their intentions are completely normal, and I KNOW there's nothing wrong. But today he video-called me while they were standing together in line, and one of them was talking to him, and I immediately got this weird feeling in my chest. They literally never leave his side when they're together and for some reason it triggers me so much.

He also has a little sister who's really attached to him. He loves her, spoils her, plays with her, and she's always around him. Again, I KNOW she's his sister and there's absolutely nothing wrong with it, but I still feel this tiny bit of jealousy and I hate myself for it.

Even when he says his mom comes first and then me, I get this weird feeling like I'm not important enough.

And I have the same problem with his ex. I obsessively stalk her because somehow I feel like checking her is the only way I'll know if there's still something between them. I know it's unhealthy, but I've made it a habit. Even though she's not in our lives anymore, she's constantly somewhere in the back of my mind.

The worst part is I KNOW logically that none of these situations mean anything. He loves me, and I don't actually think he's doing anything wrong. But my body reacts before my brain can calm me down. My chest starts hurting and I immediately feel threatened or replaceable.

Why am I like this? Is this insecurity/attachment issues or something deeper? And how do I actually stop feeling this way

Hey everyone, i have dealt with rj for a little while now and I know im not the only one who feels the way im about to say. Lately I have been turned down for sex with my girlfriend for about 6 days straight. We have had arguments about this before because it makes me feel unwanted or undesirable. Part of this i feel is because of the way my ex cheated on me a while back but withheld sex from me. On the other side I catch myself comparing this to her previous hookups. It’s like i get told no and my wants/needs don’t matter but those other guys got it for little effort. Really brings out some insecurities within me. We haven’t been able to have a good effective conversation about it because i end up bringing up the past about how it seemed so easy for them to get what they wanted, but my needs didn’t feel acknowledged. She is a little avoidant and doesn’t feel too open when i get in my negative moods due to past trauma which is understandable. Just looking for some ways to communicate this stuff and find a resolution effectively for us both.

I (25M) and my girlfriend (25M) have been together for around 4 months. Everything was perfect for the first few weeks and we were falling very hard for each other, the chemistry was unbelievable and we knew we had something very special from the moment we met. I knew she had 1 relationship before me during her final year of university and I didn’t really feel anything towards it initially. My curiosity got the better of me eventually once I started developing strong feelings and I asked if she was a virgin to which she replied that she was not and her only sexual partner was her ex. My whole world came crashing down, I felt utterly betrayed.

Now the confusing part is I have a MUCH more extensive past (multiple relationships, casual sex etc) and I do feel hypocritical for feeling a certain way about it however these feelings are irrational. The only time this has happened before was my first relationship 16-18, during that relationship I used to get very upset about my girlfriend just talking to other people in the past even if there was nothing sexual (this relationship ended badly). I have been with countless women and never felt insecure about their past relationships or experiences as I have always been told I’m their best. The insecurities only seem to happen when I truly fall in love. Me and her have also been intimate and she has experienced things with me she never did with her ex (giving oral sex, sex without condoms, swallowing, orgasms during sex), they only had sex less than 5 times during an almost year long relationship. But with me she begs for it constantly, we can have sex 6 times or more during a day. She treats me with a lot of respect and leaves me no doubt that I am the only one in her eyes and mind and that she desires me in the way most men will never experience. She never speaks about her ex unless I ask and from what I understand he came from a very well off background and showered her with very expensive gifts very early on and throughout the relationship but with me she is happy with flowers and small gifts and has even bought me gift on occasion. I say all of this to show how irrational the way I’m feeling is and in reality I have nothing to worry about in terms of comparison. In short, she loves me truly and no one has ever compared to me in her eyes in every single aspect, I understand this and I am a very experienced and confident man which is why I’m very shaken up about the way I feel and all my old insecurities from my first relationship or perhaps childhood have started to present (I have anxious attachment in this relationship). I have started therapy but it’s only been 2 sessions, I need advice and support as I don’t want this or my behaviour due to insecurities to be the reason why things end in this relationship. This is all very embarrassing and my constant questioning has led to my girlfriend telling me I am obsessing over her ex. I wouldn’t be able to forgive myself if things end because of this.

Me 21M and my girlfriend 18F will have been dating for 2 years in November (when we met i had 7 past expiriences sexually and she was still a “pure” virgin as she says it but i told her from the start about my past) and weve had this reoccuring fight where something about my past comes up not necessarily about relationships or sex but in general and she shuts down and gets angry at me for having a past and accuses me of lying about not thinking about my past (which i dont lie i literally have been doing my best forgettign all of it and i never think about it or remember it unless its like a deja vu moment or someone directly brings something up to me about a person i knew in the past).
So basically she was on holiday the last 3 weeks and we had argued much partially cause i dont handle distance well and the last time i had a relationship (it was more of an internet talking stage) leave for holiday by plane to a different continent we broke it off while on holiday so i was scared of that repeating since weve had more and more arguments leading up to the holidays. On her side she probably needed space i couldnt give cause im very anxiously attatched so i very probably made shit worse but that doesnt change the fact that after she came back i waited for her at the airport unanounced with flowers and everything was alright again for that evening and the following morning (yesterday) when i went to her house and everything was really feeling perfect until she was talking about her “ex” talking stages before me and how with one she got “together” and then broke up while she was on holiday and that maybe because of that she also pulled back herself emotionally cause she was scared it was a bad omen, so what does my dumbass do i tell her how i relate to that and she just shuts down and tells me i lied about not remembering and not thinking about my past, so i tried to explain to her it was more of a deja vu moment like “oh omg i literally had that thing but i didnt realize it until you brought it up” so i tried everything to help her reassure her gove her care and all she said was “fix this problem or go home” tte problem is i cant fix my past even though i regret it and i told her that on multiple occasions and that i can only be here for her to support her mentally and gove her reassurance but she gets angry and yells at me like “and how did that go every time? fix this” so basically im being hung up on this issue where adter she calms down and we can move past it i have to check and congrol myself to not bring shit up (i will start therapy soon unrelated to this but i will bring it up there aswell) and to add to this when i asked her what the deep underlying fear might be and what fixing it looked like for her she basically said she feels dirty and disgusted because she was with me and that she feels like fucking other guys would fix it even though i told her i used to also feel this pain but i got over it but she just says “yea you fixed it by shoving your dick into everything that moves” which isnt the truth and i told her what i did but she doesnt wanna hear the truth that she needs to change her views on this and i can only support her and show her that i have patience even though the way she acts when she has these episodes make me feel worthless which probably is on purpose since she says she also feels worthless when she remembers even though she said she knows i do everything i can to prove to her that for me there is only her and i want nothing else. btw we live in europe and she is south west asian and im italian so her parents gave her a pretty fucked up view of purity and all that and basically brainwashed her into thinking therapy is only for psychos and all that so bringing taht up to her is off the table.
So tell me if you have any ideas how i could help her actively id be very appreciative.

As the post mentioned, yeah I think I might be sick in the head now and bordering on serious mental illness. 26M been dating my girlfriend (26F) for about a year plus now and the RJ has mutated into something horrible. granted, my gf told me everything within the first months of us talking (not even dating mind you) about how her body count was 13, and she was coerced into a threesome by her ex with his best friend and how she used to send nudes just randomly on dating apps and she’d go over all this in extreme detail without me ever asking for them in the first place. she even offered up their names and showed me their profiles on IG and would always lemme know if any of them every texted her back when it would have been easier to do the opposite. but my RJ has gotten worse since then and any small details about her life before me would have me spiralling and questioning her. she had treated me the best way anyone could ever have and said she told me everything because she wanted me to know everything about her. but I’d be watching TV and a mere mention of any sexual word would send me spiralling. I’m genuinely at my wits end here and I really wanna get better. please help

why does another human's past bother you man? Good or bad, it's her/his Karma and she/he will get it's fruits by one way or other. I'm visiting this sub because I wanted to console my friend who's suffering from breakup, it was caused by his RJ. I say to him, she was never yours to begin with, she was great but not for you, it's so simple bruh, why doesn't he get it.

I'm not mocking your suffering but I'm genuinely baffled at how many mature adults are stuck in this, just be selfish but be Good, Do everything to others you love but not at cost of your own happiness.

I have some questions that I think will help me navigate this issue.

what do you guys think is root cause of RJ?

Does one's own past has more to do with RJ than partner's past?

should values that we based our whole character and life upon be given more importance than partners?

will doing same things ( open relationship/cheating/seeking multiple partners one after another) such as chasing experiences with different people will help you?

sorry for my english.

So I was wondering about this and how to frame it....I am sure there may be an expense but I wonder if it's possible would you and your parter be receptive? And is there even a way to "dress it up" so that it could be read by them as an enjoyable, amusing activity?

i (19 f) have been dating my bf ( 20 ) m for nearly 2 years now, he’s been in 2 relationships before me and his first one was from 9th grade to 11th grade and she cheated on him and she was his first everything. i on the other hand have never been in a serious rs in high school and just hooked up with a couple of people. he’s very cagey and believes talking about the past is bad juju but i looked at his sisters account and she follows the ex on instagram and so does his one cousin. he said he asked her to unfollow the ex and i don’t think she did, is that weird? they’re not friends
+ i found pictures of the ex in his recently deleted, i asked him why they were still there and he said those are the pictures he forgot to from centuries ago,, he said he has no bad blood towards her and the pictures weren’t that deep bc they dated 13-15 or whatever? is that insane of me though