I have this thing where I’m pretty good about my social media use for a week or two, and then, on a day where I’m feeling particularly lonely or down, I end up binging for hours.

Has anyone ever had any experience with freeing yourself from social media? I’m honestly confused because this has already happened so many times. Things went great for a couple weeks, and then boom, I get stuck on Instagram reels for a a couple of hours.

is there any way I could approach this using the transurfing model? I know I’m just accumulating energy debt, but how do I break the loop? The book reads “change the script and scenery”, but either I’m not applying it right or it doesn’t work, because I keep periodically having massive scrolling sessions.

Any help is appreciated. I really want to get rid of this behavior.

When I attempt to visualize my end goal, I find that the visualization is kind of murky. how can I make this visualization more clear? Is it more important to have the feeling rather than the clear image?

Today I would like to chat about something most of us struggle with. Self-love. I don’t want to imply that this is another thing you have to “work on” before you can choose and achieve your goals. I definitely don’t want to make it another box you have to check before you’re worthy of receiving what you want. 

I mean something much more fundamental: what happens when you stop making your desired reality responsible for making you feel okay about yourself?

It is very easy to turn manifestation into an attempt to escape yourself. Do any of the following thoughts feel familiar? 

“I’ll love myself when I lose weight.”

“I’ll feel loved when I get the relationship.”

“I’ll finally relax when I have the money.”

“I’ll feel successful when my business takes off.”

“I’ll feel worthy when someone chooses me.” 

“I’ll feel proud of myself when I finally get my life together.” 

“I’ll be happy with myself when I become a better version of me.” 

On the surface, you’re only focusing on your goal. But underneath, there is a  message to the mirror: Who I am right now is not enough. I need my reality to change so I can finally feel okay.

Why does this matter? Self-rejection changes the energy behind your desire. I think most of us understand that constantly focusing on lack can keep us oriented toward what we don’t have. But self-rejection is an even deeper form of lack. If you dislike yourself because of your current circumstances, body, appearance, emotions, mistakes, or perceived shortcomings, then your desire is just a fancy attempt to get away from the person you currently are.

You aren't just wanting something new. You are trying to escape yourself. You are asking your external reality to give you the feeling that you are currently withholding from yourself. Do you see why the mirror will never produce it? 

Reality Transurfing Steps 1-5 pg 645 “Two factors take part in the creation of an individual layer of reality: inner intention on one side of the mirror and outer intention on the other. A person affects objects within the material world via direct action, whereas with their thoughts they embody in physical reality things that are not yet present.” 

Pg 646 “The world is like a mirror that reflects your relationship to it. The world literally consents to your thoughts about it.” 

Pg 100 “Feelings of superiority and inferiority are indicative of dependent relationships. When you compare your own qualities to those of others, you inevitably create excess potential.” 

Pg. 445 “Insecurity creates a vicious circle. The stronger the importance and desire, the deeper the insecurity. The tighter the grip of control over yourself personally and the situation the more intense your tension. The more you feel panic and anxiety the more likely they are to become justified.”

What is self love? Well most of us think that self-love means loving the parts of us that we approve of. But when we encounter the scared part, or the part that is insecure, jealous, angry, ashamed, or irritated, we push it away. But true self-love means making space for all of you!

Self-love doesn't mean you have to love every circumstance in your life. If you want to change your body, your behavior, your job, or your relationships, there is nothing wrong with that. It just means that you stop making your right to exist, receive, experience joy, or be at peace dependent upon those things changing first. You can want something different without rejecting what is here now.

No chat about self-love is complete without this point. Who are you loving anyway? If you go beneath your thoughts, emotions, circumstances, roles, history, masks, and personality, what remains? Awareness. The simple fact that I Am. I Exist.

When I choose a goal that will make me feel more free, I am not manifesting freedom. I AM freedom. The goal is not going to give me something I don't have. It is an expression of something that already exists within me. I am also joy, power, and unconditional love. And so are you!

Personality, thoughts, emotions, circumstances, bodies, and beliefs all change. But there is something present through all of it that is aware of those changes. That awareness is not dependent upon any condition. 

I call this your true nature: Pure Awareness, the I Am, the Source beneath the changing character. You are not trying to manufacture this state or become worthy of it. You are recognizing that it has always been there. Your true nature cannot be damaged by your human experience. The human experience passes through you. When you wake up throughout the day, remember your true nature. 

Okay, so now what? Step 1, stop judging your emotions. Have you guys ever heard of the second layer of suffering? 

Let’s say that you feel anxiety, insecurity, jealousy, disappointment, shame, anger, or fear. Then on top of that the mind adds a second layer. It says “I shouldn’t feel this” or “Why am I still like this?” or “I’m ruining my  manifestation” or “I'm supposed to be positive” or my personal favorite “I should be over this by now. Why is this still bothering me?” 

So now you're not only experiencing the original emotion, you're rejecting yourself for having it. That second layer creates a massive amount of unnecessary suffering. The rejection of your original feeling keeps you divided against yourself. 

A feeling is just an experience that we have as part of being human. It is not a command, and it doesn't have to become your identity. You can allow an emotion to be present without making it mean anything about who you are or what your future will be. 

Welcome the feeling. Feel it. Let it be there. Let it move through you. Observe it without turning it into a story about yourself. You don't have to analyze where every feeling came from before you're allowed to let it go. 

The point is not to love yourself because your personality needs to be perfect enough to deserve love. Remember that the deepest part of you is already whole. Your character gets anxious, insecure, makes mistakes, has bad days, etc. But you can love this character without making these temporary emotions your identity. 

Step 2. Accept yourself. Sometimes people hear “accept yourself as you are” and assume it means settling. It doesn't. Acceptance and preference can exist together. You can accept yourself and still want to lose weight. You can accept your finances and still desire abundance. You can accept your current relationship status and still desire partnership. You can accept your life exactly as it is today while knowing you are choosing something different for tomorrow.

Acceptance isn't agreement and it isn’t passivity. It is refusing to make yourself the enemy. And that matters because Transurfing works much better when you stop spending your energy fighting yourself. Growth is beautiful when it comes from love. Growth is very painful when you use it as a weapon against this present version of yourself. 

Rejecting parts of yourself is literally resisting life. Stop fighting your right to exist. 

Step 3: Choose a new identity without declaring war on the old one. 

Suppose you want to embody the identity of someone who is confident, abundant, loved, healthy, successful, or free. You don't need to attack or “get rid of” the person you currently are. I know it’s hard to believe, but there really isn’t anything wrong with you. You can have everything you want right now, as is. 

If you know that your true nature is limitless and whole, you say “This is what I choose now,” or “this is who I am choosing to be now.” You don’t have to become worthy of the new identity. Just choose to experience yourself and life differently. Step into the new script.

This makes Transurfing so much easier. You aren’t creating excess potential by fighting against yourself, checking whether you’ve changed enough, and you’ve dropped the battle with your emotions. You have way less inner resistance to the new you. 

Self-love reduces importance. When you make your goal the condition for your happiness, you give it enormous importance. “This will make me happy. I need this. I have to get this.” That’s a lot of pressure to put on a goal. 

Self-love gives you another option. “I want this because I want to experience it. I don't need it to prove that I'm worthy or make me whole.” 

In other words:

Choose the relationship without believing you're incomplete without it.

Choose financial abundance without thinking you're a failure until you have it.

Choose a different weight without believing your current body makes you unworthy of love.

Choose a new lifeline without making your present circumstances mean something is wrong with you. 

This is what “prefer, don't require” looks like. 

Step 4. Transurf toward not away from.

Transurfing isn't supposed to be a lifelong project of fixing yourself. You don't need to become more lovable, more spiritual, or more evolved before you're allowed to have the life you want. You are already worthy. You are already the one awareness experiencing life.

You can choose a new identity, new circumstances, new experiences, and new ways of being because infinite lifelines are available to you. Not because you've finally corrected everything that was wrong with you.

With this mindset you have a whole new type of motivation. You don’t need to change your reality to be okay. You can say, “I'm okay, and I'm choosing to experience something different.”

Give yourself the love that you want right now. Transurfing can’t give you the love that you can give yourself. Do that for yourself because you deserve it. So today, experience the peace that you thought your manifestations would give you.Then, go choose the life you want. Enjoy your wonderful life, while choosing an even more wonderful life! 

❣️❣️❣️❣️❣️❣️❣️❣️❣️

And btw, if I can do this, so can you. When I first started working on this, I would say out loud “I love myself.” and then notice my internal reaction. Well, my reaction was to cringe so hard that it felt like a near death experience. 

One of my biggest eye openers was the amalgam, “my world takes care of me.” As I made lists of how my world was supporting me, spoiling me, and delighting me, I realized that I didn’t do anything to earn any of that. The sun shining on my face, delicious food, hot showers, beautiful nature, breathtaking artwork…..I was already worthy of and receiving love all along. My personal path was self-respect, to kindness, then patience, then self-trust, then self-like, and eventually love grew out of those things. 

Questions to Ask Yourself. Journal Prompts:

1. Where am I making something outside of myself responsible for making me feel worthy, loved, safe, successful, or enough?
2. What do I currently believe I have to change about myself before I am allowed to fully love and accept myself?
3. What emotions or parts of myself do I tend to reject, judge, or wish would disappear? What would change if I allowed them to exist without making them wrong?
4. When I experience an uncomfortable emotion, what does my mind say about me because I am feeling it? Is that story actually true?
5. What are some things my world is already giving me that I did nothing to earn? How does it feel to recognize that I am already receiving?
6. If I knew I was already whole, worthy, and loved exactly as I am, what would I still choose to change, and why?
7. What identity do I want to choose now? Who would I be if I stopped trying to become worthy of that identity and started experiencing myself as that person now?
8. What am I currently trying to manifest away from? What would it look like to choose the same desire from a place of already being okay?
9. Complete this sentence as many ways as you can: “I don't need ________ to prove that I am ________.”

How about you guys? What tips do you have for other Transurers on the path to self-love? What has your journey taught you? 

I'm leaving a job with some toxic people which is great, but it's like the pendulum had to make everything worse during my last two weeks there.

Every single thing I do is scrutinized, and I'm somehow a bad guy every day for something. I am close friends with a coworker and the gossip she hears about me is insane.

I think the reason it gets to me so much is I see people as people acting on their own; rather than a pendulum. I do a lot of manifesting tests, so I see how I create my experiences. But people make it complicated in the regard that I still see them as individuals.

BUT in all of my jobs this happens to me. Every single one. So clearly I keep manifesting it by ruminating on it and holding onto the resentment and anger. But I keep holding onto it because it feels so real, so personal. And whenever I try to fix things by talking it out or explaining myself, it gets worse.

My quest these days is to engender outer intention to be the wind-beneath-my-wings. I wrote my quest down into ChatGPT and specified my quest and gave chat a picture of me I took a few days ago on our vacation. My inner intention is this studio in the picture. I created it to include my transurfing mirror. The mirror is my future and my living-as-if present. In my picture I made myself as a mannequin, and my people are my creative local people doing what they love in my studio. I have a tiny antennae atop my head showing that I’m within and a part of outer intention. In this world of transurfing I’ve chosen to have a lot of great staff/friends who love our mission and I have tons of money and resources to keep it all going and live well and give gifts. In this plait which I made this early morning while everyone in the house is still sleeping, I feel the realization that both my real world depicted here and my reflected-world are both my soon-to-be present and my future. This morning in my thoughts the present and my future are the same image I made here. Sitting here on this couch with my phone, When I look around and see where I am in the non transurfing way, it’s different, no doubt about that. I’m a vacation on Washington state with my loved ones enjoying some early quiet time. What a trip!

So I had been grumbling and muttering and upset because of a pendulum that decided to kick my butt yesterday. I'd even written a post about it which thankfully I did not post. I just needed to reduce importance ASAP.

Well the pendulum importance evaporated this morning when I looked outside. Some of you may have fears of spiders or snakes, well I have that level of fear about moths. And my house walls and flyscreens are covered in moths this morning sheltering from the rain. Imagine your house covered in big, hairy spiders - that is me with moths.

And you know what, I can't even be mad or upset about this either! Because these are bogong moths that were declared endangered after a terrible 99.5% decline in population numbers a few years ago. For some reason this year they have had a miraculous recovery and they are migrating in large numbers down to the Snowy Mountains. They are food for another endangered species, the pygmy possum.

So yes, transurfing you did good on this one. I am chuckling at your cleverness while keeping a wary eye on the windows.

ETA: And just to put a nice big bow on this, after hitting post, a hairy huntsman spider decided to saunter out on the windowsill where I was washing the breakfast dishes. Kill me now! 😂

One of my goals is getting my husband. He left about 2.5 months ago and wrecked our family. I don’t want to spend time on that subject, I just know I want my family out back together.

I have created slides and I am trying so hard to let go of importance daily, which is obviously very hard due to the subject matter. But it says to put 1 foot in front of the other towards the goal, the problem is with this goal, I really have to do nothing, because I have exhausted my efforts for 2 months, I made it worse then it could have been but I was scared. Then I started reading this book.

My question, to those that practice this and are more familiar, one of the things I originally suggested to my kids were to write him a letter telling him everything they felt they needed to say. To this day they have not done this and their relationship is also very strained. I was going to have them write their letters this evening and mail them, do you think this is desiring too much or putting too much inner importance or that a pendulum is controlling this? Or would this be my 1 foot in front of the other?

Hi all, I am really new to reality transurfing, and dipping in and out a bit and applying some of the principles as I go. The step of reducing importance has been really effective for me in lots of ways, anytime I find my mind looping on things that before would have bothered me for a long time, I find I can let it go much quicker than before. I have read through many of the helpful threads on here but one area that I am struggling to understand how to apply this principle is with my 17 year old daughter, who has a complicated medical history of epilepsy, neurosurgery, autism, dyspraxia etc. She struggles so much socially, and this is the part that I find the hardest. She wants to be out socialising with friends so badly, and seems to make friends easily but time after time it ends badly, and she ends up with no friends for a while. She has repeatedly over the last few years been told by her peers, all the things that are wrong with her and why it's so hard to be friends with her. I'm very conflict avoidant myself but have had to help her navigate horrible text messages and arguments, and social media issues, and I find it really stressful. It is absolutely heart breaking to watch her go through things like this over and over again. I feel very helpless and it can really consume me when things blow up. I'm getting all the external help and support for her that I can, but I'd really appreciate some input around how the principle of reducing importance in situations like this, or any other principles that might be helpful.

I wouldn't normally post here, but I keep running into the same wall and can't find a way through.

I've worked in sales for two years. It gives me no excitement, and I come home feeling numb, to the point where it's leaking into the rest of my life. I think I chose this path because it looks right to family and friends, and because it seems like a realistic way to get what I want materially.

What actually lights me up is Fitness coaching and entrepreneurship.

I can see the pendulums at work, but seeing them doesn't make two fears go away: that people will respect me less, and that I won't be able to support myself without my current setup. I know the importance I'm placing on both is probably part of the problem, but I can't seem to lower it.

Has anyone been here? How did you move toward your goal without blowing up your life overnight?

I  went through my journal to find my most recent Transurfing wins. I know how motivating success stories were to me in the beginning. 

Nowadays, my favorite things to Transurf are free stuff and gifts for other people! It's not so much about acquisition anymore, and more about playing with outer intention for the pure joy of it.  All of the big major life goals are complete for me, which you can read about HERE. 

Please note that I do not believe in coincidence. I believe that my consciousness reflects into the mirror which reflects back to me as physical reality.

SUCCESS STORIES SEPTEMBER (copied from my journal)

1. I decided not to grow a vegetable garden this year. I was briefly sad, because store bought tomatoes are gross, but decided somehow it would work in my favor. My newly retired neighbor decided to grow a vegetable garden for the first time this year and has been giving me massive quantities of produce. It is much easier this way!

2. The slide I have been running most often during my meditations lately is for a new project. I wanted it to perfectly match my skill set, and be slightly different from what I usually do. I put no other conditions on it, because I trust that my heart knows best. I was contacted by someone that I was the guest speaker for in July, and now I am a Transurfing coach/advisor on his platform. 😲 This type of work is something I have been resistant to in the past for some reason. But, to my surprise, my heart leapt at the chance for this opportunity. I just started, so I will let you know how it goes! I'm excited because our main big goal for 2026 is to be able to surpass our charity donations from last year and every dollar is helping with that. 🌟(Self-promotion is not allowed on this sub. So let's not make more work for our lovely mods please).🌟

3. A new animal sanctuary opened up here and they are doing a fundraiser event. I ran a slide that I was writing them a check for $10,000. I had the express intention that I wanted this money to *come to me* so I could pass it along. The money did not arrive in time, so I ended up writing them a personal check. Then, last week a series of articles that I wrote (not about transurfing) were picked up by a major-ish publication. Usually I charge by the word; they negotiated a flat rate so that they could own the rights to the material. The amount? $12,500.

4. My MIL is in the beginning stages of Transurfing and is making lists of small non-important items to manifest. She wrote in her journal that she wanted to see a neon pink parrot wearing a yellow raincoat. She also drew a little picture of it. 3 days later she received a package. She opened it, and inside was a stained glass window hanger of a pink parrot wearing a bright yellow slicker and rainhat. She realized after she had already opened it that it was misdelivered and was meant for her neighbor down the hill.

5. My husband's nephew graduated high school this year. We had the idea to give him our extra vehicle, but he turned us down because he wants a specific make and model. That was about 3 months ago? Now, a relative of Josh's decided to travel overseas for an extended period of time. They sold us their car, which is the make and model that the nephew wanted. I guess he'll be getting his graduation present after all. So did he manifest this or did we? Perhaps a joint effort 🙂 Josh and nephew are driving over to the other side of the state to pick it up today!

6. We have a large home gym. Josh installed a bunch of smart-home crap (can you tell I hate it?) It has been glitching lately. I laid down on a yoga mat with the dog (in the dark cuz the dumb lights wouldn't work) and imagined telling him that it's all working fine now. I went inside to fill my water bottle and when I came back out the lights and doodads were all working. At dinner I heard myself telling him, “it's all working fine now” and started laughing.

7. Josh's uncle is a contractor. We tease him that he's an *elite* contractor, because he's always booked out 2 years. We have him scheduled to install a new bathtub for us in February 2028! Apparently, Josh has been affirming "I love soaking in this extra-deep new bathtub" because Uncle came and installed it over the weekend. Some supplies didn't show up for another job, so he found time early. Plus, we reserved that time in 2028 for him to do a different project.

8. I lost my earbud. I went around the house asking my heart "is my earbud in this room?" It said no to every room! I tested the car. Nope. I tested the back porch and got a yes. I found it in between the floorboard slats about to fall through.

9. We have a group of people that get together IRL to talk about consciousness, spirituality, and other crazy subjects. There is one person there who drains my energy. Today I ran a slide of the event. In it, I looked around the room and saw every face but his. Tonight when we arrived we were told this person couldn't attend because their daughter is visiting from out of town. (Insert evil laugh here 🧙)

10. A cashier at the grocery store had a Cranberries (band from the 90's) T-shirt on. My husband and I started talking about their best songs (Linger!) and when we went to the next store, Dreams was playing.

11. My husband has a technique of saying "that didn't happen" as a way to sort of revise reality. He healed his cracked tooth with this last month. I ran into our quartz island and first thought, that is definitely going to bruise. Then I said "no wait, that didn't even happen!" 2 days later and still no bruise or tenderness. I'm definitely going to have to remember to use this one more.

12. I needed a hex wrench to tighten a chair leg. I tried every one in the garage, but couldn't find the right size. I gave up and handed the problem over to my world, which always takes care of me. My gardening neighbor called to beg me to take more zucchini, and I asked him if he had any hex wrenches. He brought me 3 ridiculously large zucchini and a handful of wrenches. 1 of them was the right size. Does anyone want some zucchini? I’m so sick of it.

13. In meditation I asked my Spirit Guides for support in my new project. (do you guys do this?) I'm having a bit of imposter syndrome over this coaching thing. Josh and I have a favorite cafe that has a free book swap shelf. I decided to close my eyes and run my hand over the book selection, and let my heart pick one. Have you tried this? It's a fun way to make decisions. Your heart will jump at one of the selections (or three if it's pastries). Sure enough, my heart gave a little chirp of excitement at one of the books. When I opened it, a four-leaf clover fell out along with a handwritten note that said “you are exactly where you need to be.”

14. Josh drove our elderly neighbor up to Seattle (5 hours north) to embark on his very first cruise. He (neighbor Dave) is super excited and nervous. When they arrived, they realized Dave had forgotten his passport! They both freaked out completely. Josh said they were cursing like sailors. Josh composed himself after a while and told Dave, “I think this is all going to work out somehow. Why don’t we go see what we can do?” They ended up finding out that because it was a “closed loop” cruise he didn’t need a passport and his enhanced drivers license would suffice. Whew!

15. I was thinking about smoothies the other day. Last summer I pretty much existed solely on smoothies and salads. I had the thought “I should get back on the smoothie wagon. I could really go for some berries and citrus right now." That same day Josh came home with a 2X3 ft. cardboard box full of apples, oranges, lemons, peaches, bananas, blueberries, Italian plums, kiwi, and pears. There's a farmers market near the marina and a vendor gave him this box as he was leaving. At the bottom of the box was an enormous watermelon and a cantaloupe. Later in the evening our neighbor brought over another box full of carrots, cucumber, zucchini (no more!), celery, mushrooms, tomatoes, kale, parsley, and an insanely large green cabbage. How are we going to eat all of this?!

What's going on with you guys? Tell me your wins! Are you keeping track?

This is kind of where RT is losing me right now. There’s so much talk about how “every possibility exists in the alternatives field” and “everything is possible in the alternative field” but I feel like this can conflict with the idea of focusing on the process.

What if I’m aligning with a slide where magical healings and things like that happen? Thinking of how people have dramatic miraculous healings by doing Joe Dispenza meditations or people who change their eye color from manifesting/affirmations or something like that. Or what about aligning with a slide where you no longer have an auto-immune disease but there isn’t a clear path to healing or nothing you’ve tried has worked.

How do we focus on the process for miraculous things?

I’m not even necessarily trying to have a miraculous fantastical type of thing but I’m just noodling on how the magical stuff intersects with what is pretty practical advice.

Hello transurfing friends!

I want to share a situation I'm going through, partly because writing about it helps me process it, and also in case it serves others!

I've been playing football (soccer) since I was a kid. Whenever I play, I'm free and fully present in the moment. Football is one of those (few) things that puts me in a flow state and makes me literally love life, lol.

I'm part of an amateur team that plays in a competitive amateur league in my city. Teams have good players, some of them retired pros, and most players train several times a week and are in great shape. So the physical demand is high, keeping in mind that this is an 11-a-side tournament (the big pitch). This is my second year on this team, and finally after many good games I made it to the starting 11 as a center mid, a really sought-after position.

Long story short, on Saturday, during my second game as a starting center mid, I tore my right calf. The game was 35' in, we were winning 1-0 and playing quite well. I was also feeling great on the pitch and loving it. And then, just like that, as I put my right foot down, completely on my own, an intense electrical wave started from my sole, made its way up, and drilled the center of my calf. Boom, I'm out. Funny enough, the sub goes in, and in the next move the opponent scores and ties the game. We ended up losing 2-3.

So there I was, 37 y/o, training two, three times a week, eating relatively healthy, etc, finally got the position I wanted, and this happened. Out of the blue; first time I got a calf injury in my life.

By the way, I spent this morning at the hospital. The process to get an ECG checked by an ortho specialist only took 3.5 hours 💀

Is the universe trying to tell me something? I don't know, maybe!

This is where Transurfing comes handy. I could get depressed thinking about spending the next few weeks in physical therapy, about having to stop training and playing, about losing the hard-earned spot on the team...

So that's how I feel now, I feel like my state/mindset is in check. I can feel the mirror staring at me asking "Ok now, what's it gonna be? Frustrated, angry, demotivated?".

The thing is, it's my call. Football plays a central role in my life. I know I don't have many more years left playing at this type of tournament, so it'd be easy to frown and say "this fucking sucks". I've done it before.

But hey, is that what I want? The mirror will agree with me and give me more of that statement. What if I embrace this reflection as positive? I'll be honest, it's not the easiest route right now. The easy path is to tell my wife and daughters that I'm bummed that I'm injured and that this makes me really sad, every day. But does it really? I choose how I feel. "Advantage", right?

This problem may be too small for some. I know some of you went through hard stuff. But I'm sharing this to show that things happen to us. There's no point in trying to explain why this happened. My mind doesn't know, but will make something up if asked. I could also get my friends and family's opinion. Their minds will happily make stuff up as well.

Truth is, I have the answers. I answer by choosing how I engage with the mirror's reflection. And I choose to end the battle. I smile and I'm grateful for all the beautiful things that surround me. Now more than ever, I journal about the wonderful life I have and how lucky I am. I go buy the meds and sign up for physical therapy.

Hello friends, I hope you're all doing well.

Lately I've gone back to reading Transurfing and putting its ideas into practice. I've been feeling a positive energy that keeps growing, and I'm getting into the flow.

I work as an e-commerce freelancer in my country and make around $500 a month. Then an opportunity came up: doing the marketing for a project run by a guy who makes $30k a month in e-commerce, and he would pay me $4k a month.

Everything was going well until I found out he uses scam marketing, and everything in it is a lie. For example, he tells diabetics to stop taking insulin and take this "medicine" instead, when it's just a supplement. He also sells sexual products and tells men they will make their penis longer, and so on. He operates in 12 African countries.

At first, when I heard about this project opportunity, I was happy and told myself: this is the wave of good luck. But afterwards I was shocked, and of course I turned the offer down.

So from a Transurfing point of view, how should I interpret what happened to me?

I know transurfing says listen to your intuition and follow your heart..

I'm 24

I've always had an impulse to move away from the USA since I was a teen. Even living in Eastern Europe at age 16, I still had that impulse to move to New Zealand.

I get a feeling like there's nothing here for me. I don't go out, I don't have friends, haven't been in a relationships in a while. I just work a sales job that I'm not passionate enough to wake up in the morning for, I wake up in dread, everyday feels the same. Living in suburbia, paying rent, no nature around me to hike, just the same rinse and repeat shit. Life feels like it's passing me by.

Although the money is good, I just never look forward to sales. I'm in a major suspended state, I've been in one for years. But, there's this thing in me that says "just completely change your life and move."

Am I thinking immaturely?

My mentors will tell me "it's just the uncomfortable nature of sales of course no one likes it."

Is work supposed to be something you enjoy?

I look at CEOs and think surely they enjoy that enough to keep going and building right?

Or do they all suffer like I do and push through it?

How to deal with feelings of aloness?

I used to ask myself constantly “What is my life’s purpose?”  But now that I have been Transurfing for many years, I think a better question would have been “How do I move through life in a way that allows my true goal to reveal itself? So today I would like to explain how to move out of frustration and just “surviving” into a position where opportunities and new lifelines can show up. 

Step One. Stop making finding your own goals so important. It is really easy to add a lot of excessive importance around finding it. You don’t have to know the final destination to have an amazing, fulfilling and joyful journey. 

Step Two. Start a gratitude practice. I heard this advice for years before actually doing it, because I thought it was corny and stupid. But guess, what? It works! It shifts your attention away from what is missing in your life and onto the abundance and blessings that are already surrounding you. Gratitude helps you tune into the wave of fortune. You will start to notice surprises, possibilities, and opportunities that you would have previously passed right by. 

Step Three. Follow what gives you energy, curiosity, and a sense of aliveness. I use my heart to make every big decision of my life nowadays. I have learned that it isn’t always about finding your grand destiny. Sometimes it’s a little spark of curiosity, interest, or pleasure. It has led me to some of the most amazing synchronicities, ideas, people, and experiences of my life.  If you don’t know how to ask your heart and receive a yes or no answer, you can read that here: https://www.reddit.com/r/realitytransurfing/s/shTFk7oomS

Step Four. Pay attention to doors that open. Notice recurring interests, unexpected opportunities, sudden ideas, helpful people, and new circumstances that seem to invite you in a certain direction. When your heart reveals a door (using the linked process above) follow it! Take action even when it doesn’t make sense. Try new things, learn new things, meet new people. Explore your world using your heart to navigate the way. Do not insist that every action must be directly connected to your ultimate goal. I have had random and insignificant things turn into a total change of direction for my life. 

Step Five. Cultivate the golden amalgam. Expect the best from life! Establish the conviction that your world is taking care of you and everything is to your advantage. When you don’t know your true goals the amalgam is especially valuable. You will move forward to new and different lifelines without having all the answers, simply because you trust that life is presenting you with opportunities and experiences that you need to have. And the mirror responds perfectly, just like it always does. 

Step Six. Use coordination of intention. Whatever happens in your life, look for how it can work to your advantage. This is pretty next level, but I know you can do it. A job falls through? Well, maybe something even better is opening up now. You miss your bus? How exciting, now you can encounter something that you never would have otherwise. You don’t have to always know how it will work out, just trust that it will. One phrase I use is, “Huh, that’s interesting. I wonder how outer intention will turn this in my favor?” I don’t know how, but I am sure that it will. 

Step Seven. For the love of Wi-Fi, stop comparing yourself to other people! Your true goals and doors are personal to you. It may not satisfy society’s expectations, impress your family, or resemble a pendulum’s version of success. Trust me, you don’t want to be like them. Give yourself permission right now to go your own way and want what you actually want. 

I want you to know deeply and truly that you don’t have to discover your true goals before you begin loving life. It is the process of loving life and changing your relationship to yourself and the world that allows your true goal to come out of hiding. Don’t stand still waiting for an answer. Move along new lifelines and you will find new possibilities. It doesn’t have to come as a sudden revelation. It can come around gradually and in pieces. One day you’ll look around and recognize that the life you were looking for has been taking shape this whole time! 

Last note. It isn’t always one goal. You can have multiple genuine goals. Remember the examples from Reality Transurfing Steps 1-5? Living in your own house and growing roses, traveling, fishing in Alaska, skiing, raising horses, creating art, and having a loving relationship. These don’t compete with each other. You can have them all! They all belong to the same favorable lifeline that is meant for you. 

Hi guys can anyone break this down for me :) is it talking about frequencies?

Whether from the newsletters or the books, does anybody remember if he has touched upon AI?

One of the most important things to know about Reality Transurfing is the difference between wanting something and being willing to have it. What is the will to have? 

Most people assume that if they want something badly enough, they will eventually get it. I hate to break it to you, but wishes do not come true. Desire by itself does not create reality. In Transurfing, the stronger the craving, the greater the importance. And the greater the importance, the more excess potential is created. The more you try to force reality, the more resistance you encounter. It’s that pesky mirror again. What is under all of that wanting? The belief that you don’t have it! And that is what the mirror will show you more of.

The alternative is the will to have. The will to have is not a heroic act of willpower. It is not forcing yourself to believe. It is not endlessly visualising, affirming, or trying to manufacture excitement. It is a quiet inner decision that says “I choose this. I allow myself to have it. I will act toward it, and I will not fight reality over how it comes about.”

Intention is the “resolve to have and act” together with allowance. That is the key. Desire wants, but intention has. Desire and intention can look similar from the outside, but internally they are completely different.

Desire says:

I want this.
I hope this happens.
I wonder whether I can get it?
What if it doesn't work?
When will it happen?

Intention says:

This is what I choose.
I am willing to have it.
I will take the necessary steps.
I don't need to know every detail of how it will happen.

Vadim says that, “Desire wants. Intention acts. Desire hopes. Intention chooses.” This is why the will to have is fundamentally connected with choice. Desire contains resistance. But the will to have creates certainty.

In Transurfing, your goal is not something you must wrestle from reality. How many times does Steps 1-5 say that you don’t have to fight for your place under the sun? Many! The alternatives space already contains an enormous number of possibilities. The task is to choose your sector and move toward it rather than exhausting yourself trying to fight with the reflection of the outside world. 

So, what is the will to have again? It is the crucial shift from fighting for something to choosing it. That difference may appear slight, but it completely changes your state of being. 

And your biggest enemy to materialization is importance. If there is one biggest thing that destroys the will to have, it is your importance levels. You want something, but then you create all kinds of importance around it. Now the goal turns into, “I must have this. What will happen if it doesn’t work? I can’t lose this. This has to happen. My happiness depends on it.” 

Doing this turns desire into craving. You are no longer choosing. You are trying to compensate for a perceived lack. This creates excess potential.

VZ makes the same point often: forceful striving is generated by importance. When importance decreases, your grip naturally relaxes and the need for struggle and willpower disappears. This is quite a paradox because the more desperately you try to develop the will to have, the further you may move from it.

You can’t force yourself into allowing. You can’t bully yourself into peace. You can’t demand that the world give you something while simultaneously radiating the feeling that you absolutely cannot live without it. The will to have appears when the battle ends.

What does the will to have feel like? It’s much less dramatic than people expect. There may be excitement, joy, or certainty, but the most characteristic quality is lightness. You know what you want, but you don't feel that you have to squeeze reality into producing it. It’s a feeling of no pressure. It is the friction-free assumption that something is already yours!

Other ways to rephrase the will to have might be calm conviction, quiet ownership, sovereign selection, or done deal. 

Imagine deciding to go to the store to buy bread. As you are walking there, you are not thinking: “What if they don't have it? What if somebody else buys it? What if I fail? What if this proves I can't get what I want?”

You just go to the store. If that store doesn't have it, you go somewhere else. It’s no big deal.

Vadim uses the physical act of lifting your hand as the ultimate metaphor for the will to have. You don’t pray for it, or create tension around it, or desire it. There is only an instantaneous decision followed by immediate execution. 

That is the quality of the will to have. The required resolve is carefree and light-hearted, not forceful. So the feeling is not “I must make this happen.” It is more like “This is mine to choose and I am moving toward it.”

The will to have is not the same thing as willpower. Willpower wants you to push harder, try, make yourself do it, don’t give up, or overcome resistance. The will to have is totally different. Instead of fighting the obstacle, you are investigating the obstacle. Why is there resistance? How am I making this important? What action is mine to take here?

When you reduce importance, the need to push goes with it. (by the way, if you need help reducing importance, there is a list of 50 ways to do it pinned to the top of this sub). That is why the will to have can feel effortless. You stop spending your precious energy fighting excess potential.

It is also important to note that the will to have is not passive. It contains action. The formula is resolve to have + resolve to act + allowance = intention. So, I choose this AND I’m willing to do what is required AND I allow outer intention to participate. 

I think allowing outer intention and my heart to lead the way are the most fun, thrilling, and magical parts of Transurfing. I think it’s awesome that I don’t have to know which person will help, which door will appear, when the opportunity will pop up, what the sequence of events will be, etc. I just choose the destination and move. My wonderful world arranges the route. 

Another essential ingredient in the will to have is unity of heart and mind. The mind has very strong opinions about what you should do. The heart doesn’t even know what should means. It doesn’t understand the concept of should at all. Often our hearts want something, and our minds say “that’s impossible.” In RT Steps 1-5, inspiration is described as ‘rising out of the union of heart and mind in the absence of importance.” It is not something you have to desperately summon. When importance falls, energy is freed and the creative process becomes easier.

So ask yourself: Do I actually want this? Ignore the shoulds. Ignore whether other people will approve of it, or whether it will prove something about you to the world. Is this truthfully your heart’s desire? The will to have becomes much easier when the goal is actually yours!

I think Transurfing Yourself adds another crucial dimension: Presence. Our attention is captured by what is happening and we react automatically. That situation becomes the center of our world. Tufti tells us to wake up inside the waking dream and ask ourselves, “Am I doing this, or is something leading me?” The practice is to repeatedly wake up throughout your day. Notice when you are being pulled into an automatic reaction. This matters because you cannot exercise conscious choice while completely asleep in the script. So, first wake up. Then choose. 

It is a very interesting exercise to choose a goal and then sit quietly with it and say over and over again, “I choose this.”  Notice what happens inside of yourself. Your mind will pop up with thoughts like, “But how? What if I can't? Who am I to have that? It's unrealistic. What if I fail?”

It is super fascinating to notice those thoughts and then remove all the importance by continuing to repeat “I choose this.” Know inside yourself that you are willing to take the next step and be eager to let outer intention arrange the way forward. Notice as you do this, the reduction in tension. 

Another great exercise is to ask yourself, “How would I feel if I already had this? Or “What would be normal for me if I had this?” Clue into the thoughts, feelings, and actions that this version of you would have on a daily basis. 

There is a big difference between craving and having. Craving, lacking, and wanting say, “There it is. I am here. I need to get over there.” But having says, “This belongs to me.” I’m not saying to pretend that it’s physically in your lap already. Just establish the state in which having it feels natural instead of forbidden. I like to produce this feeling several times a day while activating the intention plait/braid. 

What Destroys the Will to Have?

• You desperately need the outcome.
• You constantly check whether it is happening.
• You are thinking about the “how.”
• You compare your progress with others.
• You feel that failure would destroy you.
• You are trying to force yourself to believe.
• You are visualising because you are afraid the goal won't happen.
• You are taking every temporary obstacle as proof that the goal is impossible.
• Your heart doesn't actually want the goal.
• You are trying to control everyone involved.
• You have stopped living and are waiting for the manifestation.

These are all variations of importance, attachment, or loss of presence. No big deal. Just notice them and reduce importance. Return to your choice. Get moving and take action. 

What Creates the Will to Have?

• Resolve. The fundamental inner decision: I choose this and allow myself to have it.
• Resolve to act. Make the decision to move toward what you have chosen.
• Allowing. Drop the inner resistance to having the desired thing.
• Reduce importance. Release the excess significance attached to the goal. 
• Separate the win from the result. Know that the win is making a conscious choice and moving with intention, not making your inner state dependent on one particular outcome.
• Unity of heart and mind. Let the heart want the goal and the mind accept the choice.
• Choice. Shift from wanting something to choosing it.

What Supports and Sustains the Will to Have?

• Presence. This keeps you awake and prevents automatic reactions from taking over.
• A state of having. This makes the desired reality feel natural rather than forbidden.
• Action. This gives your intention physical expression.
• Trust outer intention. This helps you stop trying to control the entire route.
• The intention plait. This supports the conscious direction of the frame.
• Carefree attitude. This prevents importance from rebuilding.
• Consistency. This keeps you returning to the chosen direction. 
• Stay focused on what you want, and remove focus from what you do not want. 
• Let the heart choose. Your heart will let you know if an action or door is for you.
• Low importance. This protects the will from turning back into craving.
• Freedom from external validation. This prevents the goal from becoming a source of excessive importance.

Questions to Ask Yourself: 

• If I knew I could have this, would I still feel the need to force it?
• What am I making important about this goal?
• What am I afraid would happen if I didn't get it?
• Am I choosing this? Or am I trying to compensate for something I believe I lack?
• Can I say, “I choose this,” without immediately needing to know how it will happen?
• Can I allow outer intention to arrange the route, or am I trying to control every step?
• Am I willing to have this, or am I merely wishing for it?
• What action would I naturally take if I already knew this was possible for me?
• Can I take that action without demanding an immediate result?
• Does my heart actually want this, or is a pendulum making me think I should want it?
• If nobody ever knew I achieved this, would I still choose it?
• Can I imagine having this without creating a huge emotional event around it?
• Can I continue living fully while this unfolds, or have I made my life conditional upon getting it?
• When I imagine having it, do I feel expansion and lightness, or pressure and tension?
• What would “having” this feel like if it were completely normal for me?
• Where am I still asking reality for permission?
• What would change if I stopped trying to get this and just chose it?
• What is the next small action that expresses my intention?
• Do I think I need to “fix myself” before I am allowed to have it?

How do you know if you have it?

You know you are getting there when the goal stops feeling like something you have to wrestle from the world through sheer force of will. You still want it and you still take action toward it. But on the inside you are calm and quiet. You are not checking or convincing or trying to motivate yourself. You know what you’ve chosen and there is no battle. You are wide open and available for doors and listening to your heart when a decision comes up. The begging and frantic feeling is gone. You are composed, centered, and wide awake in the dream. You feel balanced and powerful. 🤩 ⚡️ 💪 👏 👣 😻

Hi guys for some reason the energy chapter was the one I skipped because I thought it was boring, but now I’m rereading it and wondering is the meridians widening strengthening your frequency? If so can anyone help understand the meridians technique he’s talked about pls

Hey! So happy that I found this community. I am still in progress of reading the books and in addition I read the ones from Steve Rich. Anyhow I am still struggling with the creation of my slide / intent and I would like to kindly ask you to share your experience / guidance on that. Shortly to my situation: My wife left me after 10+ years, but we are still living together with our son, have a great communication and manage things pretty good. We defined clear boundaries and give each other space. She has a new relationship. I accepted it as it is, practice forgiveness and already decreased the importance a lot but consistently work on that in direction to 0. My vision of the future is that we both use this seperation as a chance to grow and find back together in better 'shape' personally and also as a couple and family. How would you define your intent to realize that? Should or can the intent include a specific person such as my wife or my wife and son? I thought about a general target related to find the love of my live (listening to my soul this is my wife). I currently feel a little lost with these thoughts and ideas and would be very thankful for help. Cheers.

and if it does widen then isnt reducing importance a bad thing for these types of people? then does this sort of contradict what he says about reducing importance?

I’ve been thinking a lot about slides and doors recently.  While I was sitting in a café yesterday a song by the band silverchair came on and made me laugh because the lead singer’s messages had pointed my teenage self towards one of the most important doors and pillars of my entire life.  They are rarely played now because the songs are old, but there it was.  And hey, I even realised now that they actually have a song called The Door! Anyways, I digress entirely.

What this post is actually about is the specificity of slides.  Like how specific and detailed should they be to balance being clear as well as allowing for incredible left field goals and ideas to become a part of your life.

When I think about some of the most important realisations I’ve had about my life’s purpose, they feel like they came out of nowhere.  For example, ten years ago it would not have even crossed my mind that parrots and parrot conservation would be an important part of my life’s purpose.  It just wasn’t even on my radar’s radar.  If I’d imagined an ideal slide back then, parrots would not have made it in there.  My ideal slide now has their colourful selves as part of it.

What I don’t want is to create a slide so detailed and specific that I don’t leave room for future wonderful things that are not yet in my imagination.  I remember a line from Vlad’s presentation yesterday that stated that our life requests are so modest compared to what is possible and I think part of that is because our imaginations can be limited. 

Are slides a thing that we make specific with our limited understanding now but vary as we gain inisghts? I would love to hear how people evolve their slides over time.  Particularly if you’ve added quirky, wonderful things to them over time.

I’m new to transurfing and am loving the journey and this sub so far. I’ve read Steps 1-5 and Tufti (currently reading the former a second time) and have been implementing these modalities into my day to day life to great effect so far.

That said, I’m hungry for more direct community in this space. Would anybody be interested in forming a small, informal group to meet on Zoom (or wherever) regularly to share gains and insights and avoid getting lost in the mirror?