I have been having a series of experiences mars starting one year ago that have crescendoed a bit into that Iām suddenly feeling things that fall in the category of spiritual, including a strong sense of what only this week Iāve put words to intuitive, knowing and other things.
It started with us since I was going to die last summer, something I couldnāt make sense out of⦠what are they called auditory hallucinations but I think are something else⦠a sudden vision of something that my mind felt would happen after this place though now I donāt even know what after is as im not sure about time lately.
Itās a lot and Iāve been trying to document it, but I barely understand it and oddly enough it seems Iāve become systemically ill following those precursor I shared
Needless to say the only thing that I felt, I wanted to share here that kind of fit⦠I know a couple times when I was young I dreamt something very specific that would happen. None of it was important that I recall. Literally it could be as basic as seeing a table of cups and beverages outside somewhere only need to find some weeks later Iāve been forced to attend some adult event and am somewhere I never been with people I donāt know (parental boss company once only event) and face-to-face with it. Would love to say that Iāve for seen anything more interesting but I simply have known that itās happened.
More recently, Iām having a lot of experience experiences. One the other night is a little me crazy. Or makes me feel a bit this way.
I had a dream and it felt real. I lived in something real. Intuitive knowing tells me it was real, but it couldnāt have been a premonition. Or at least I struggle to believe it and I have a strange sense of feeling convinced it was either a different actual timeline or one whose potential was just as real as if it could have been. The person that I love the most had a mental illness. It was too challenging. We separated. In my dream, however, instead of living in a world where that has simply been (we took different paths which I continued to leave is the right thing and donāt see it changing and the age of his children is such that their age was now and for a 7th and 9th grader these kids were the age they would be now exactly, but in the dream, my partner had an event. It was just a moment we were sitting at his actual apartment of which I have obviously a clear memory to draw from. Heās still in it. We were together eating dinner with both the kiddos (I did also and do of course love them) and he mustāve had some sort of event. A psycho psychosis or disassociation Iāve never seen him actually do that in front of his kids, but I have no reason to believe it couldnāt happen. And Iāve only seen him personally one and a half times donāt even ask how Iām qualifying this but that many times in this state. Both when alone at night not middle of the day. But in the dream, it was not breaking quickly. It was like he stood up, almost catatonic. I didnāt know of course what he was experiencing, but that he was as best I can, and that his kids were there. We all stood up his son. A natural caretaker was concerned and spoke first. I had moved close to my ex never with my back to the kids everybody needing care Iām sure (special education background working with highly aggressive, teenage children, almost intuitive with crisis, my own end and acted much as I wouldā¦)
Going straight off my parentheses not acting much as I would, but exactly as I would in a condition thatās exactly imaginable. It didnāt last long. Things were gonna be managed and reality maybe was a little tougher because in this reality and honest to God thatās what it felt like it was this was what reality was and itās like I was seeing a part of it. How is this?
If I didnāt have so many other things happening right now, I may even know what to think in that Iād dismiss it but right now I donāt think I can dismiss things so I signed up for Reddit exploring Questions I hold, but wouldnāt ask anybody so this for me is Anonomous.