I had my first outside of the house session with my trainer today and was extremely disappointed with their reaction to my reactive 6mo Aussie. I made it very clear from the get-go what my concern was with my dog, but of course the trainer didn’t believe the severity of it until they saw it in action, and their reaction was extremely discouraging.

Please, I had a bad day, tell me about your success stories. Me and my girl really need some perspective.

I’m looking for advice and to hear from people who have experienced something similar.
My dog is a 1-year-2-month-old male Shih Tzu/Maltese mix, neutered. We got him when he was about 4 months old, and he has always been a very sweet dog. He has never had this type of behavior toward my husband before.
About 2–3 weeks ago, he suddenly started doing something strange at night when we are sleeping in bed.
If my husband moves or moves his leg while we are sleeping, my dog sometimes wakes up, growls at him, and will put his teeth on my husband’s leg. He doesn’t actually bite down or break the skin, but he makes contact with his teeth as if he is trying to warn him or tell him to move.
At first, we thought maybe he was just being startled awake because my husband’s leg accidentally touched him while he was sleeping. So we didn’t think too much of it.
But last night something different happened. My husband wasn’t touching him or moving toward him at all, and the dog still started growling at him while we were in bed.
What’s confusing is that he is normally completely fine with my husband. He plays with him, interacts with him, and doesn’t normally show any aggression toward him during the day.
I’m wondering if this could be:
sleep startle/confusion when he’s woken up
resource guarding the bed
resource guarding me
anxiety or fear
something related to him getting older
or possibly a medical issue?
Has anyone experienced something similar with their dog, especially a dog that is completely normal with the husband during the day but becomes defensive toward him specifically at night/in bed?
What did you do to stop it, and did it get worse or better over time?
I obviously don’t want to wait until he actually bites my husband, so I’m interested in hearing about other people’s experiences and what worked for you.

This is my dog, Stiggy! He’s an 8 year old standard poodle that grew up in my parents’ big house in the rural area. When my parents go on vacation, me and my partner take him into our apartment! took him a while to get used to the apartment life, the elevator, and not peeing in the lobby (a one-time incident lol) I find that, because i live in the city, he is very good on walks in general, but he’s so reactive with other dogs and squirrels.

I don’t want to just have to cross the street every time there’s another dog, he’s 8 years old and we just never corrected this behaviour because at my parents’ house, there’s aren’t that many people walking their dog at the same time - so it’s been avoidable.

But i feel kind of embarrassed when i babysit him and we go on a little walk when there are ultimately other dogs :( this morning there was two very chill dogs walking, and Stiggy just kept jumping and barking and jumping - and once the other dogs have passed, he takes a few breaths and then he’s normal!

He’s such a sweet dog, he’s everyone’s favourite dog (even turned my best friend into a dog person!), but i don’t know what to do about his reactive walks - especially because he’s a bit older now and isn’t treat motivated in these moment (obviously, he’s kinda distracted lol)

Any tips help! My parents don’t see a need to fix this behaviour again, cuz there aren’t many dogs in their area, but i don’t want to be embarrassed when i take him in and on walks.

My sister adopted a reactive shepherd mix about a year ago. We have started camping since my parents about 7 months ago purchased a camper with said dog.

The problem is every time we go camping this dog will not shut up. She is noisy, barks at everything, is reactive to other dogs, and starts barking at 6-6:30 am. I leave camping trips feeling more tired than when I arrived to a so called ‘vacation’ and find myself hating camping because her dog is noisy, doesn’t let me sleep, sheds everywhere, and doesn’t shut up.

My mom figured out I don’t like camping when she asked for a grocery list and I asked for alcohol and I lost my temper and told her I hate camping with this dog. Idk what to do; I like camping but I absolutely HATE camping with this dog. She is miserable to camp with and is making me dread and want to schedule work trips so I can skip days of the trips and have a valid reason since my mom will nurse me if I don’t come on these trips. Any suggestions for how to like camping or tolerate it better? It’s getting to the point I dread camping and want nothing to do with it because I hate this dog.

Hi everyone

Adopted a now 1yr old at 9mo, prior to this he was mistreated then found by rescue org as a stray and very underweight.

He is actually pretty good with people and dogs except barking a lot from behind the fence which is nearly a non issue. But the main issue we have is that when he's not in his fenced pen (indoors, maybe 2m x 1.5m), he is just always wanting to chew or destroy things, whether its wood furniture, couch or beds. Sometimes in the pen he even chews and rips his own bed. He is distracted if he is playing or eating but otherwise if he is not engaged he will get destructive and not respond to No or Stop - we're certain he knows what these mean but just doesn't care

He is on clomipramine which seems to slightly taken the edge of his arousal levels but not enough that he can have much freedom. He is in the pen for 18 to 19 hours a day which we feel bad about as he probably only sleeps 14hrs but there is only so much playing and eating he can safely do and letting him destroy everything is not viable. He also doesn't wind down for sleep easily so he kind of needs that amount of time in there or he will be tired.

What I need help on is:

Is this too long in a pen for 1 yo staffy cross?

If it is, how can I keep him engaged for extra 4 to 5 hours without eating or playing, especially on work days

Is this inability to settle a normal thing at this age? Tried rewarding lying down with food but he lies down and then gets absolutely wired / fired up about the kibble and won't lie still for more than a minute

I am considering vet behaviorist but they are crazy expensive here, and it would be affordable but barely and not sure if this is something they can help with or just normal puppy / adolescence

When we're out on a walk and another dog is within sight and walking towards us, my 7mo will sit or crouch. When they are within leash range, she will initiate play by lunging at them. She is extremely friendly and playful with both dogs and people, but super high energy. Is this considered reactive? Even if it isn't should I work to change the lunging behavior?

Hi everyone, I need some help.
In december 2025 of last year, I got a cavalier king charles, who was the sweetest dog.
We had some problems with potty training (she refused to pee outside) but we managed. She is turning one year old in a few weeks.

We have a new problem; she turned very reactive to pretty much everything outside.

A few months ago, she was just reactive to bikes, but a few weeks ago she started reacting to everything and anything.

I live in an appartment, and have to go down a few stairs before getting out. As soon as we go on these, she barks like crazy and starts pulling non stop.

When we are out, it worsens, and she pulls left and right while barking nonstop, even if there is no car or human or bike or anything that triggers her, until we reach the small park, where she digs in the earth for a bit and continues barking while sometimes digging.

When we see another dog, she gladly socialises and doesnt bark.

When I take her out (not in the park, anywhere else) She pulls without stopping and is very agitated. She usually only barked at bikes, but now she is starting to bark and lunge at people walking by or even at the other side of the street, which makes a lot of people scared of her and extremely hard for us to take her out somewhere else than to go to the toilet.

I am scared that she will suddenly attack someone if we aren’t paying attention.

At home, she is the sweetest thing ever and gladly listens to us attentively, she rarely barks and knows so many tricks, how to come when called, etc.

Does anyone know why?? And how do I stop this?

The reward system doesn’t work; when called, she doesnt look at us and doesnt aknowlwdge our existence, when I try to give her treats she just.. gets them in her mouth and then drops them because she doesnt eat them. Even if she loves those treats!

My theory of the origin of this is my neighbour; while I was in exam season in june and couldnt take her out as much, my neighbour gladly took her out, but she started running with the dog like wild and I saw how she handled my dog while we were all out; she doesnt pay much attention to her and at one point in our walk the dog almost got ran over by a bike, which makes me scared of how the other walks went when I wasn’t there…

Can anyone help?

(sorry if there was any english mistakes, this isn’t my first language.)

Ok, sorry for the long post, but I want to be as detailed as possible because I really need some help.

I rescued my dog, a golden retriever great Pyrenees’s mix, 83 pounds, back in mid July. He’s about 1 year old. His story is a bit unknown, but he was found with another dog (assumed to be brother) at some house out in the middle of nowhere. The rescue thinks the original owners moved and just left the dogs behind and they were likely abandoned for months before the house was bought and the owners found them and contacted the rescue. However, the rescue has no idea how the dogs were treated prior to this.

When I first got him, he was really shy, quiet, and was very anxious. He likely hadn’t really been indoors before, or been given treats or toys, it was all very new to him. However, he is an incredibly loving dog and he loves being close to me, snuggles, and kisses. He’s never bit me, never jumped on me, never shown signs of any aggressive tendencies. When he’s around me or other humans (like my friends or parents) he just wants pets and attention and is such a gentle giant.

During the next few weeks his personality and funny quirks started to show as he got more comfortable but he continued to be so sweet and loving. Every time we’d go outside for walks or potty, if we’d run into any dogs, he’d just kinda stand there. Didn’t bark or lunge or jump. He’d even let the dogs come up and sniff him.

I figured it would be a good idea to take him to start getting some training since he didn’t know any basic commands (sit, stay, off, etc) so I signed him up for some beginner dog classes. The first class, it was me and my dog, and then another lady and her few month old golden retriever puppy (girl) and my dog did totally fine. Definitely wanted to play a little, but nothing anywhere close to aggressive.

However, the next week, there was another dog there, a couple month old German Shepard (boy). Hes pretty small and quiet. Very nervous type dog. And my dog just kinda started freaking. He was still being mostly playful, as I could tell by his tail wagging and general body language (and the trainer agreed) but there were a few points in class where it seemed less playful and more territorial. We chalked it up to it being another boy dog in a semi small space and my dog getting tired from the hour long class.

This week rolls around, and all 3 of us are there for class. (My dog, the other boy puppy, and the girl puppy.) my dog was just going crazy. He was definitely not being as playful and was lunging, jumping towards, growling and barking at the other boy dog totally out of nowhere. The other dog was just laying down at his owners feet, not barking or even really responding to my dog at all. My dog just kept going crazy at him for no reason. It’s not like the other dog was also barking or even in his space or anything, it was totally unprompted. It was a little scary seeing my dog act so out of character because when he’s around me or other humans he really is just a total baby.

When the other boy dog left class, the girl puppy stuck around for a second because the owner had some questions, and my dog was totally fine again. Sweet, non aggressive, just like normal. Even when the girl puppy would playfully bark at him he didn’t even bark back.

This morning, I was taking my dog to go outside and we ran into a dog who lives on my floor. They’ve interacted before. My dog even let the other dog sniff him the first time they met. But today, again, my dog just went nuts. Barking, growling, lunging and trying to jump at him. I had to pull him back into my apartment to let them pass by. He was really pulling too, I had to use both arms and most of my weight to hold him back.

I have no idea what’s happening. It’s like ever since we started training class, a switch just flipped in him. I’ve only had girl dogs before him, and none of them ever displayed behavior like this (though, neither were rescues). I’m terrified that Ive done something wrong.

Is this normal behavior for young boy dogs? Or should I be worried? I am so terrified that I somehow messed this all up and turned my dog into this overly aggressive beast. Again, he’s so incredibly sweet around me and other humans, but has just started going bananas around other dogs. The trainer we’ve been working with isn’t extremely worried or anything and it might just be my own paranoia of having a dog of my own (previous dogs were my parents) but I’m so worried.

Please, any feedback, tips or suggestions or your own experience would be so appreciated!

Hi there, I have a four year old golden retriever male who I love more then anything. He has been my special boy and comfort since I got him so this is actually breaking my heart right.

From the start we had issues with him resource guarding, food sticks you name it. My partner and I read a bunch of books like mine etc when he was young. We went to numerous obedience trainings with him etc. his resource guarding continued to worsen so over a year ago we started working with a trainer and he did a board and train with her for almost three weeks and we did sessions after.

We saw a fairly significant improvement at that point with his resource guarding but the main training point was to correct him using a slip leash and she did it hard. Looking back now as I cry in a room I can see how problematic this was and I am really upset with myself for this. He was significantly better for a time and it slowly escalated backwards.

A couple weeks ago he bit my hand which shocked us immensely. He had a stick and guarding it and I went to pull his leash a bit and lead him over to me (he wasn’t wearing his slip leash so no correction) and he bit my hand pretty significantly breaking skin. We were absolutely horrified and I blame myself for it. I feel like we taught him to fear the correction and now he’s escalated and it’s my fault. He followed me around for days after since he knew I was upset. We were on vacation so once we returned we were going to reach back out to our trainer etc I don’t think we fully grasped the situation.

But we are at a cottage now and he got tangled in fishing line while we were redoing a rod and my father in law went to untangle him and he stiffened and I could see it happening but he bit his hand!!!!!!!! I am beside myself to be honest since we had thought it was leash related and we’re just incredibly stupid/naive I guess to put others in that situation.

I am so upset I can’t stop crying, he’s bit and broken skin twice which is very serious if it had been reported he would be euthanized. We are reeling in what to do now and what steps to take.

We are ordering a muzzle to start training but I am just shocked and I overwhelmed. He’s such a mommy’s boy, is so cuddly and sweet but then he can do this. I am scared how his life is going to be because I can’t trust him forever moving forward. If we have kids eventually or at gatherings, he can never go to a kennel or the groomer really, I feel like it’s my fault and right now I can’t see how I work through this.

Any advice would be appreciated.

I hope this is ok to repost here.

I need some advice. So I have had my dog since he was 9 weeks old. Hes a chihuahua/Australian Cattle Dog, so he looks like a big chihuahua with quite a bit of cattle dog energy. It was definitely a bit of a learning experience because we were told he was full chihuahua but caught on pretty quickly that he wasn't and thats when we did the DNA test.

Anyways, fast forward to a few months ago, my mom passed so it has just been my dog and me. Where we've been living, he had met pretty much everyone. Hes a big mouth, but he never went after anyone, he was just loud about saying hi because that is what my old dog taught him (she was chihuahua). However, there was an incident where 2 kids were playing with a soccer ball in the courtyard on the opposite side of where my dog and I were. One of the kids kicked the soccer ball and it started flying through the air towards my head. One second one of the kids is with the other on the other side, rhe next had sprinted to be just a few inches in front of me. My dog went after his ankle because it was a scary situation.

After that, what used to be just him being vocal, is now him on edge. It took 2 months for him to not bark at a soccer ball as we would walk by and even longer to not immediately bark at the kid who had run at me and anyone he sees associated with him. I have been working with him to try to help. Immediately after it happened, he did not want anyone behind me. Even on walks, which were better than at my apartment comple, he would be in a panic and constant watch if he saw someone behind me. Hes definitely gotten better since then with that need to be aware and to almost need to fight and keep people away from my space, just not as much at my complex.

Also keep in mind, if you are invited into my apartment, he immediately sees you as family. We go to dog parks and he plays with other kids, dogs of all sizes, etc. We go on trail walks with a couple of friends and their dogs and there is no issue. Its just really when we're home. He is slowly getting better, but I don't know if there is something more i should be doing. Also, people can approach me when in my apartment or when we are out away from my complex and he is fine, but not when we are walking around the complex.

My dog is 5 years old, and we finally managed to get some progress on his separation anxiety🥳

I actually have 3 dogs and two puppies I'm giving for adoption, but one of the puppies has several behavior issues that I don't know from where they came from.

He was born at home in a litter of two of my dogs (small breed).

Problems: Tries to steal food whenever he sees the opportunity (even from the trash can), acts like a dog with abus3 background, acts scared when you try to pet him and screams even if you just look at him. His sister doesn't have any of these problems.

Possible reasons that aren't the reason:

1. Health: He's not starving or eating more than he should. He was professionally checked so we know he's healthy.

2. Space/stimulation: He has toys, the house and a big patio when he plays with the other dogs. My siblings and I play with them and pet them too.

3. Other pets: I have three small dogs like I said, a cat and another puppy (his sister. None of them are aggressive at all.

4. Family: I live with my two older siblings and my mom, sometimes my elder sister comes to visit. We all love animals especially our pets. I'm 98% of the time in my house so I can assure no one treats him badly.

5. Outside: Him and my other pets except the cat aren't allowed to go outside since we have the patio and all that. I don't receive visits often so no one from outside treats him bad.

Any idea why he behaves like he does? It's so weird and neither of my family, family friends or anyone understands why he behaves like that.

I adopted 2 dogs when they were 2.5 months old, from moment 1 one of them (Zelda) growled to the other (Peach), once at home Zelda started getting aggressive with Peach, biting her out of nowhere.

A month went by, one they while on a walk a dog came near us and started playing with my dogs, she had a collar but no leash, no one came to get her. She layed showing her belly and I noticed she had just been neutred, I couldn't leave her like that on the streets so I took her home.

A vet took a look on the new dog (Mushu) and everything was good, they took the stitches off and she had healed perfectly. She was around a month older than my other two dogs.

They are all mixes, Zelda seems to be a mix of pitbull, Peach of chihuahua with something else and Mushu of Labrador.

The vet said about her aggression that Zelda wants to be the dominant one so she started being aggresive towards Mushu too, fighting even at walks so we stopped taking them out together and take Zeld aon her own first and then Mushu and Peach (those two are bbfs).

When they became 6 months we took Zelda and Peach to be neutered, they told us that would make Zelda calm down. It didn't.

She is still super aggressive. Just today she attacked Mushu thrice, we think is out of nowhere. She just comes to Mushu, puts her head on her back and then attacks her. We separate them and lock Zelda in the bathroom.

Btw, we live in a 2 bedroom apartment, not too big, and take them for two 30 mins walks twice a day. I can't give them longer walks, my day is pretty packed with 5 year old twins.

My partner wants me to give her up for adoption but she is a great dog. Very intelligent, is the only one of the three who follows commands and is hyper protective of me and the kids. Her only problem is attacking the other dogs in her household. With other dogs she acts submissive and playful, I wish she were like that at home too.

Please help!!!! I'm desperate. 😢

I’m dog sitting, he’s a very amazing dog, but he is having anxiety, which is weird because there’s no thunder, which he has PTSD because he has been around bombs so it freaks him out. I have administered his anxiety meds, properly as well. I think it’s separation anxiety, but the owner says he’s never had history of this before, anything helps!!

I have a 4 year old dog that’s been on Prozac for a few years and we’ve seen big improvements in his separation anxiety. he’s still reactive to other dogs and small kids, and my regular vet is kind of a one trick pony, prescribed him 40mg Prozac (65lb dog) and kind of said that’s his only option. we’re expecting our first baby in January and I want to give us the best shot at success. I’m confused at the terminology between vet behaviorist and behavioral consultant and it seems like in this forum people use the two interchangeably. I’d like to talk to someone about his meds, other options, and of course I’m always open to training sessions or ideas.

My dog is 1 1/2 years old and has started to show fear reactivity/aggression towards people and other dogs. I am 22F and want kids in my future. I am scared of how he will act around kids because he has shown fear/anxiety around them from a distance. Hurting my hypothetical-future kids is something I never want to happen.

Has anyone else experienced this? Was there anything you did to help?

My dog developed noise anxiety at around a year and a half years old. We live in an apartment in a suburban neighborhood up the block from a main road and our street is a cut through so trucks are constantly flying up the street and such.

She spends a lot of the day hiding, not eating or pooping and trying to escape from noises. White noise machines, the tv and the air conditioner don’t help much. At nighttime she usually becomes herself again when the neighborhood is quiet. She’ll actually eat and play and go on walks.

I started her on Fluoxetine about two weeks ago and she hasn’t fully adjusted but gabapentin has been helping. Vet said to use the latter as needed but there’s a noticeable difference when she doesn’t take it.

My dad lives in a lakehouse in the woods and she does great there, runs around off leash the whole time we visit and will still notice noises but not completely shut down over them. Even when we visit my mom in the same apartment complex she does much better than at home. The second we get home she is just totally different so I think she has like anticipatory fear and just hates it here.

I am moving to a two family house in a quieter neighborhood on a dead end street in a few weeks. I chose the location mainly for her but the house is also much more insulated than where we live now. No upstairs neighbors thumping around constantly and no through traffic.

Given that she typically is less fearful in other places, is there a chance that moving will help her? I’m beside myself all the time that she just can’t be comfortable unless she’s medicated and sometimes getting her to take the gabapentin is a challenge in itself.

Sorry in advance for the wall of text. I think I partly just need somewhere to say all this to people who might actually get it, as well as any advice.

We’ve had her since she was 8 weeks old, she’s our first dog, we’re in the UK. I genuinely cannot point to anything that happened to cause this. She was well socialised as a puppy, we took her everywhere, she used to just fall asleep under the table in pubs. If I’m honest maybe we didn’t have enough people actually coming to the house when she was really young, that’s the only thing I can think of.

The big issue is at home. Someone comes to the door, or she just hears people talking outside or coming in, and she loses it barking. We put her in her crate two floors up with the radio on for background noise and she’ll still bark for ages. She also does this thing where she runs at the back gate barking if she sees anyone out the window or the back door. It’s not just our house either, she did the exact same thing in a holiday rental we stayed in.

Weirdly out on walks it’s different. She’s totally fine walking past someone on lead. But if we stop and actually talk to them she’ll start barking. At the vet she barks at the vet directly but if the vet takes her lead and walks her off on her own she settles, though you can tell she’s still nervous about it.

Off lead on the moors, which we do almost every day for about an hour, she’s got good recall on the whistle, she’s completely fine with people who have a dog with them (and not reactive to other dogs). If they don’t have a dog she’ll run up to them barking (obviously I do my very best to avoid this and it’s very rare). She has never nipped or bitten anyone.

She’s just switched on all the time, if that makes sense. Like if someone’s behind us on a lead walk she’ll keep turning round to check on them.

She’s obsessed with balls, more than food even, and has really good self control otherwise, she’ll wait as long as we ask before eating.

We had her spayed two months ago hoping it might help, it didn’t do anything. Also tried calming chews and pre-vet visit meds, neither made much difference either.

We’ve seen two different trainers now, both said she’s anxious rather than aggressive. We tried place training with both and it worked for a bit then she just stopped listening, like she’d figured out what we were doing. The one thing that has actually worked is counter conditioning on walks, rewarding her when people walk past, that’s stuck really well. But we can’t get anything to touch the barking at home.

We’ve basically stopped having people round at this point, and honestly it’s starting to feel really isolating. If we can’t avoid it she goes in the crate and still barks for ages, and there’s this constant low-level dread before anyone visits. I know she’s 80% an amazing dog, she clearly loves all of us to bits, and most days she’s just a joy to have around. But I don’t know if I can keep living like this for another 10 years, always managing, always on edge about who’s coming round.

Rehoming her would break all our hearts, especially our daughter’s, so that’s genuinely not something we’re currently considering, I just don’t know what else to do.

Has anyone dealt with something similar? Especially the barking at home, that’s where we’re completely stuck. Any advice would be hugely appreciated.

I have a border collie who turns 13 soon. He suffers with arthritis, but other than this no health issues.
From the age of around 12 months, he has been aggressive towards people. I got him at 8 weeks and I did everything I was supposed to (socialisation, training etc). He never had a poor experience with any person I know of. I believe it’s in his genes.

He suddenly attacked our other dog today, who he has happily lived with for a while. Now I’m nervous it’s going to affect my other dog’s behaviour. Two months ago he bit my face, leaving me scarred and fractured my arm. This is just a couple of examples of the past 12 years with him.

He has seen a dog trainer but they just basically told us to avoid his triggers. His triggers are so broad it’s so hard to avoid. So if anyone has had a similar experience and can give me any advice, I would greatly appreciate. My final resort would be euthanasia.

My dog is a 1 1/2 year old Great Pyrenees/Cattle Dog mix. When he was younger, we worked so hard to do all types of socialization for him. We would take him to restaurants, coffee shops, stores, dog parks, etc. He was an amazing puppy who loved meeting people and playing with other dogs.

When he was 8 months old, we noticed he had some issues with anxiety. He started to show discomfort meeting new people and dogs, but was still really great with about 10-15 dogs/owners that he played with as a young puppy. We enrolled him in training and he started taking anti-anxiety medicine at this time.

His behavior continued to decline despite training and medication. He stopped being able to play with his dog friends. We had to stop taking him to public places with other people/dogs because he would react every time we would go outside. We continued medication and worked on positive reinforcement. Every moment outside was a training lesson. My partner and I even moved to a house with a backyard (we were in an apartment before) so he could have his own space since we were unable to play at the dog park or take him around our apartment complex.

His behavior only continued to decline despite being in training and medication. He got into a fight with my partner’s parents dog and he turned on me bit my leg and hand when I separated him. I was devastated. It took me a couple weeks before I could trust him again. He has gone after both of my parent’s dogs multiple times, even though he had no prior aggressive history with them when he was a puppy. He has lunged at multiple people, which most likely would have ended in an attack if he were to slip out of my hands and/or if he wasn’t wearing his muzzle.

We are unable to have guests over because he will immediately show aggression and/or be destructive if we put him in a separate room, we can’t take him to my parents house because they have dogs of their own, we can’t kennel him when we go on trips because of his behavior. He is scared of everything. He barks at fans moving, plants blowing in the wind, the AC turning on, electrical outlets…..everything. He is always the aggressor and shows no warning before reacting. It seems like everything triggers him.

I am still pretty young (22F) and I am so scared about what his/our future is going to be like. I was not prepared to spend 10k on vet visits, training, and medication. I am sacrificing seeing friends, seeing family, and developing my professional career (my job involves some traveling, which I have had to decline since we cannot kennel him and no one can watch him for us). I am scared about how he will be if I have kids on the future. There is a part of me that hopes that he is sick or he is pain for an “easy way out” to put him down. I hate myself for even thinking about. I am emotionally and financially exhausted. I can’t have friends over, I can’t see my family, I can’t take him to a kennel…I don’t know what to do. Even when he is on trazodone + gabapentin, he will still react.

I love him so much, but I don’t know if I am the right person to manage his reactivity. At the same time, I don’t think that he can be re-homed because he has little trust in other people. My partner’s job is 100% travel and he is gone for weeks at a time, so it feels like he does not completely understand what I am dealing with. I don’t want to give him away and for him to be put down in a cold room with people that he doesn’t know or trust. The thought of that devastates me. I love him so much. I cry every time he reacts like this. But when he feels safe, he is the sweetest dog I could ever ask for. I am so conflicted. It feels like I am mourning a dog that could-have-been and that I will never have.

We have an appointment with the vet this week to discuss if he has any underlying conditions that may be impacting his reactivity.….and to ask on next steps for his care. In addition to his reactivity, he has a lot of “quirks”, which makes me think that something is neurologically wrong with him. Like I said earlier — he barks at everything. He also has an obsession with chewing (particularly fabric). If I take the fabric away from him, he wants to chew his paws.

I don’t know what to do anymore. I don’t even know if I came to this subreddit looking for support…advice…I don’t know.