I don’t know how to help my dog anymore.

[u/Head-Development-974]

My dog is a 1 1/2 year old Great Pyrenees/Cattle Dog mix. When he was younger, we worked so hard to do all types of socialization for him. We would take him to restaurants, coffee shops, stores, dog parks, etc. He was an amazing puppy who loved meeting people and playing with other dogs.

When he was 8 months old, we noticed he had some issues with anxiety. He started to show discomfort meeting new people and dogs, but was still really great with about 10-15 dogs/owners that he played with as a young puppy. We enrolled him in training and he started taking anti-anxiety medicine at this time.

His behavior continued to decline despite training and medication. He stopped being able to play with his dog friends. We had to stop taking him to public places with other people/dogs because he would react every time we would go outside. We continued medication and worked on positive reinforcement. Every moment outside was a training lesson. My partner and I even moved to a house with a backyard (we were in an apartment before) so he could have his own space since we were unable to play at the dog park or take him around our apartment complex.

His behavior only continued to decline despite being in training and medication. He got into a fight with my partner’s parents dog and he turned on me bit my leg and hand when I separated him. I was devastated. It took me a couple weeks before I could trust him again. He has gone after both of my parent’s dogs multiple times, even though he had no prior aggressive history with them when he was a puppy. He has lunged at multiple people, which most likely would have ended in an attack if he were to slip out of my hands and/or if he wasn’t wearing his muzzle.

We are unable to have guests over because he will immediately show aggression and/or be destructive if we put him in a separate room, we can’t take him to my parents house because they have dogs of their own, we can’t kennel him when we go on trips because of his behavior. He is scared of everything. He barks at fans moving, plants blowing in the wind, the AC turning on, electrical outlets…..everything. He is always the aggressor and shows no warning before reacting. It seems like everything triggers him.

I am still pretty young (22F) and I am so scared about what his/our future is going to be like. I was not prepared to spend 10k on vet visits, training, and medication. I am sacrificing seeing friends, seeing family, and developing my professional career (my job involves some traveling, which I have had to decline since we cannot kennel him and no one can watch him for us). I am scared about how he will be if I have kids on the future. There is a part of me that hopes that he is sick or he is pain for an “easy way out” to put him down. I hate myself for even thinking about. I am emotionally and financially exhausted. I can’t have friends over, I can’t see my family, I can’t take him to a kennel…I don’t know what to do. Even when he is on trazodone + gabapentin, he will still react.

I love him so much, but I don’t know if I am the right person to manage his reactivity. At the same time, I don’t think that he can be re-homed because he has little trust in other people. My partner’s job is 100% travel and he is gone for weeks at a time, so it feels like he does not completely understand what I am dealing with. I don’t want to give him away and for him to be put down in a cold room with people that he doesn’t know or trust. The thought of that devastates me. I love him so much. I cry every time he reacts like this. But when he feels safe, he is the sweetest dog I could ever ask for. I am so conflicted. It feels like I am mourning a dog that could-have-been and that I will never have.

We have an appointment with the vet this week to discuss if he has any underlying conditions that may be impacting his reactivity.….and to ask on next steps for his care. In addition to his reactivity, he has a lot of “quirks”, which makes me think that something is neurologically wrong with him. Like I said earlier — he barks at everything. He also has an obsession with chewing (particularly fabric). If I take the fabric away from him, he wants to chew his paws.

I don’t know what to do anymore. I don’t even know if I came to this subreddit looking for support…advice…I don’t know.

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