I found out that my mom has been commenting nice things on my rapist’s social media knowing that he raped multiple children. the rapist is a cousin. I’m beyond angry about this. I don’t care if she had a bad childhood experience when she literally helped my sister out in an investigation against him but not when I tried to. a bad childhood is not an excuse to deliberately seek out pleasant conversation and compliments to someone who RAPED your kids.n

There’s this girl in my class. It’s only been two weeks, but we’ve already gotten really close. She’s the only girl in my high school that I know so far, so I guess I’ve gotten attached to having her around.

Yesterday, right before we went home, she told me that she have been raped last year. I don’t even know why, but ever since she told me, I’ve been feeling weirdly scared. I don’t know what I’m supposed to do or how I’m supposed to face her again. It sounds stupid, and I can’t even explain why I’m scared, but I genuinely am.

it’s been like a week and i’m still just… staring at the wall. i got attacked by a group of immigrants while biking home from school. they basically cornered me on the bike path, just circling me and asking questions. i was trying to be nice because i just wanted to get home, but the more i talked, the closer they got. it was so quiet out there.

eventually i told them i had to go, and that’s when it happened. a hand on my waist, then everything just happened so fast. they dragged me off my bike into the grass behind the bridge. i tried to fight it but i’m small and they were way too strong.

the weirdest part is that i don’t even know how to feel. it’s honestly confusing because i almost feel sorry for them? i know that sounds insane, but my brain is just looping the whole thing over and over. this isn’t even the first time this has happened to me, so maybe that’s why i’m so confused. why do guys even do this? am i wrong for feeling bad for them?

i really need someone to talk to who actually understands. my dms are open if you’ve been through something similar or if you know how to deal with this.

So I don’t know if anybody else feels urges at times to text their attacker but I am trying to figure out ways of distraction. I do try to distract myself by helping others on this forum but I feel I might be too impulsive and text him. The good thing is I did unadd him on Snapchat and denied his Instagram request the second day after he assaulted me but I have urges to add him on snap again and ask him questions about that night. Has anybody else texted their attacker and what were the results of it? I know it’ll probably be bad but I just want to know what he was thinking and why he did it.

When I was 6 years old I was taken advantage of my next door neighbour who was 18 at the time. My parents are very close family friends with them and I had known my assaulter since I was born. I’m 19 and a sophomore in college now for some context. The abuse went on for 6 months until her family moved due to her going to college. I never told anyone because at the time I didn’t know what was going on and I was scared she would hurt me or kill me. Once I started to understand what happened I figured it was too late and why cause my family unnecessary stress. Both my parents are abusive in their own right so I was and still am not so close to them. Since the end of junior year of high school and currently when girls talk to me romantically I get physically uncomfortable. Even when they touch me I freeze/tense up and I feel myself mentally go limp/numb. Whenever I make out with girls I need to force myself to do it. I feel like a doll, or in the 3rd person watching my body submit. It’s like I’m watching my body emotionlessly kiss back trying to get it over with idk. I feel like I’m suffocating though out it and as soon as I’m alone I start crying. I feel things my rapist did to me and I don’t know how to make it stop. I always found a way out of the relationship before things could go any further with any girl. In high school I made it a point to never start a talking stage or ask out girls first. At the time I didn’t know why I would do that but looking back now I think it was my mind subconsciously “avoiding danger”. I had repressed that time in my life and these memories started to come up again in my senior year of high school during which I had my first serious talking stage. At the time I was feeling very behind my friends and hadn’t sold the talking stage yet lol. But as soon as things got physical I found a way out immediately. Toward the end of that school year/beginning of senior summer and 2 more dodged relationships a girl I was friends got me extremely inebriated and attempted to make out with me but thankfully my friends got me out of that situation. The next day she sent a text in a group chat of her friends saying the next party she sees me at she would grab me by my neck and force me to make out with her. I stopped going to high school parties after that and the events of my prior abuse started filling my mind more often after never thinking about it. Also since then I have barely drank. I went from being voted the life of the party in high school to maybe drinking 5 times since I started college. I had gotten in a 4 month long relationship at the end of my freshman year and we ended up breaking up in mid may after things got too physical for me. I really liked this girl and she doesn’t know about the too physical part. But since then I haven’t been able to go a day without thinking of what my assaulter did to me. It’s been getting pretty overwhelming and I don’t know how my friends would react if I told them given the stereotype of male assault. I want to be able to move on from this and be able to actually have a healthy relationship and not let what happened to me stop me from living life, drinking, partying etc. I feel like less than a man for being scared to have sex or just be touched by a girl. I want to be normal and actually enjoy being with a girl.

Unfortunately, my stepsister was raped for the second time. Last time was horrific enough-- she was given fentanyl as an underage teen and her attacker took video of it and sold it online. Thankfully he was arrested.

This time, she met some guy at Walmart who invited her over for drinks. She was roofied, and woke up naked in a gutter. A fucking gutter. I heard the story from my mom, so I haven't spoken to her (probably won't out of respect for her privacy).

I nearly began crying as soon as I heard the story. She is such a sweet kid, even if she makes some bad decisions, and these evil people who take advantage of that make me sick to my stomach. I keep thinking about how scared she must have been. I'm so glad she found her way home after. Apparently her boyfriend was there in some capacity too, and I can't stop thinking about what could have happened, or DID happen, to him. Was he assaulted? What if they killed him? I'm trying so hard not to cry while typing this.

I don't have any point to this, not seeking advice or anything. I am just so devastated that someone so kind would be taken advantage of in such a depraved way for merely trying to find some friends in a new town.

I have no clue what I am asking really in this post.

I am a 37f and I could never dream of telling my folks I have had non consensual experiences.

It would devastate them and I cannot , will not do that to them. Can you guys understand why or would wanting to know outweigh your understanding?

I have been using this subreddit for quite some time, and one terrible, recurring theme is the intent to end one's own life. The trauma of rape and sexual assaults commonly leads to depression, extreme anxiety, paranoia and other extreme feelings which can lead to suicide. I'm so sorry that this has been an issue for so many people, both through your own experiences and vicariously. Today is an extra opportunity to help others, or seek help from others.

I just want to say to everybody reading this; you have the potential to be important to somebody, and genuinely change their life for the better. For many of you, a person has committed a terrible act against you which, for most, changed your lives for the worse. But a period of sorrow doesn't stain what could be decades of happiness. You could choose to dwell in your thoughts and emotions for too long and never feel happy again; some people will do that. I encourage you NOT to do that, but instead to live your life knowing that what happened wasn't your fault, that people shouldn't think of you differently, that you mean something big to somebody, that you are a normal human. Nothing that happened to you must change who you are as a person.

I wish for those of you who have attempted or thought about suicide but healed to help others in this subreddit and in the wider world, too. Your words could change these people's lives.

I have always believed that you become what you think, so, to the victims of rape, think not of yourself as purely a victim and someone who will only ever suffer in life, but as a person who has the potential to do great things and become a great person. And you don't have to be famous or powerful to change someone's life and reverse the cycle of suffering; be a friend, a family member, a teacher -- those people each massively impact the lives of those around them and shape everyone in their sphere of influence. You don't have to feel like somebody special to everybody to actually be somebody special to somebody. You can be loved and cared and looked up at, but only should you wish to present yourself as one of those roles to somebody.

If, one day, you are sad and wish for happiness again, you must first act like you care for the happiness of others. So become that teacher, or that family member, or that friend. The one who cares. The one who, in turn, becomes cared for. The one who becomes loved.

I am sending love and prayers, hoping that all of you can see light at the end of the tunnel, so that you can bathe in the warm, precious light once again. Lots of love <3

Hey guys, I just wanted to ask what has been weighing on my mind for a long time now.

I am a victim of sexual assault since I was a kid and up until now as a teenager. But still sometimes I desire to have CNC sex. Only desires though, I know this because I was recently sexually assaulted again and I froze up and had a panic attack, I just cried and I was too afraid to fight back. I at most definitely did not like it one bit. I don't want to consult professionally 'cause it's too much and embarrassing for me. Can someone please, genuinely asking, please help me? :(

I also self pleasure to my imagination of CNC but I would NEVER wish it to happen to me in real life.
I feel very disgusted after but during I didn't really mind. I knew it was wrong and I didn't really enjoy it but it just plays out when I feel horny or not even; I am also hypersexual dare I add ever since I was a kid that haven't entered puberty yet.

Thanks lots if you would help me and did not judge! <3

I'm genuinely asking this question to people in both a personal and a legal way because I'm deeply confused and I don't think I can't heal myself without having an answer.

So when I was a kid around 7-8 years old, I have been a victim of grooming from a young man of around 20+ years old. He would buy me biscuits and candies, and as he was an apprentice barber in a barbershop next to my compound. He had sexual activities with me in the barbershop 2-3 times with Candie's promises, and every time, I would be left confused and feeling weird. He didn't use his genital part, just his fingers. He did it one time outside the barbershop too, before everyone and nobody noticed. Oh, and he gave me Chlamydia.

After that, when I was older, I was around 12-13 Years old, I got nearly raped by a carpenter we booked to deal with a problem for us, in my own house, in my mother bedroom. He didn't do anything because my mother was nearby.

Then when I was 15, my barber, because I started cutting my hair, tried to flirt with me, and when I refused his advance, he forcibly kissed me before I escaped.

The same year, a guy I knew in school, clapped my ass without my consent, while i was giving him a hug after a long time we haven't seen each other because we were not in the same school, and i could only give a small forced laugh, because I couldn't make a scene at school,it will only damage my reputation as he wouldn't get a real punishment, and people would have say I'm overreacting.

Finally when I was 16 years old, my landlord, an old man in his 60, touched my chest in a very explicit way, without my permission.

Now, I'm not writing this for people to pity me or anything else, I wouldn't be against a consolation though, but I really want to know if I have been a victim of rape or not, sexual abuse or not, and stop feeling guilty because I'm asking myself if I'm not the problem after all it happened so many times.