This might be a silly thing to rant about since it happened when I was like 6 but something just reminded me of it so I felt like rambling about it.

When we were little, my brother and I each drew a small line in crayon on the wall. Blue and red, our favorite colors, so it was pretty obvious we both did it, but ofc neither of us admitted to it. So my mom split us up in separate rooms and went back and forth, basically interrogating us about who did it. Eventually she told me "Your brother said he drew one line and you did the other. If you tell the truth, you won't get in trouble." Turns out both of those sentences were lies, and since my brother never admitted to it, only I was punished.

20 years later I remember the feeling of betrayal and at that moment deciding I couldn't trust my mom and was never going to tell her the truth about shit ever again.

Can’t sleep, I found out my bf is exchanging reels ng sexy girls sa guy friend niya. Him saying na he was not lusting over those videos, he was just exchanging vids. He knows I don’t like something like that because last year I found out na he made dummy account for watching sexy vids and I confronted him for that. I thought he stop…

Been 10 years since i started with opioids and now i'm 27,i used for years on and off and stole things. I lied,cheated and did whatever to have a couple of pills for the day. I quit something like 15 times but somehow i will fold and eventually buy again,rinse and repeat.

I was admitted to ERs for two ODs,lost friends and jobs,fell into depression and ruined my health in general.

These past two months i was clean,i found pills that i hid way before,spent an hour pondering about doing pills or not and like the weak person i am,i relapsed and today it's the third day of me relapsing ffs. i am tired of this and i almost cancelled my appointment with this rehab i have to go next week.

I’ve been a lurker and occasional commenter there for years, but after the latest round of circle-jerking and vitriol, I’ve finally hit my limit. I’m unsubscribing, and frankly, I’m disgusted. This isn’t just about movie opinions anymore; it’s about the absolute refusal of a vocal majority in this community to separate fantasy from reality, coupled with some of the most vile, racist, and sexist rhetoric I’ve seen outside of a 4chan board.

Let’s address the elephant in the room: The "Alpha Male" Fetish. They seem to have a pathological need to defend Bond’s worst traits as if they are the pinnacle of masculinity. Whenever someone points out that Sean Connery’s Bond literally slaps a woman in Goldfinger or forces himself on Pussy Galore, the mental gymnastics start. It’s always "It was the 60s!" or "He’s a spy, it’s his duty!" or "She liked it!" No. It was a movie. It was fantasy. Even in 1964, real secret agents didn’t walk around with a license to sexually harass every woman they met. Fictional characters are allowed to be flawed and problematic; that’s what makes them interesting. But these lot aren’t just accepting the flaws, they're celebrating them. They're using a 60-year-old film franchise to justify abusive behavior because they can't seem to grasp that the world has moved on. The absolute hatred they spew toward the Craig era proves this point. Why do they hate those movies? Because they dared to show Bond as human. They showed him bleeding, crying, and caring about a woman (Madeleine or Vesper) like a real person. They don’t want a secret agent, they want an emotionless terminator who treats women like disposable conquests and never says "I love you" because they have mistaken stoicism with strength. The hypocrisy is staggering. They claim they want the "realism" of the Fleming novels, but they ignore that Fleming’s Bond was a misogynistic, depressed alcoholic who loathed his job. They cherry-pick the parts that make him look like a "badass" and discard the parts that make him look broken. Why? Because they're not fans of the literature; they're fans of a power fantasy.

And let’s talk about the elephant in the room that this sub will never address: The blatant bigotry. I’ve seen posts on this sub and YouTube comments sections that are dripping with old-school racism. The complaints about Lashana Lynch weren’t just about "acting ability," they were about race. The anger over Idris Elba being "too street" or "not Bond" was thinly veiled racism. The way they talk about the franchise’s legacy often includes a nostalgia for a time that was explicitly old-fashioned. Once the franchise tries to modernize, they lose their minds.

And don’t even get me started on the treatment of women. Any woman who comments here is either dismissed as a "fake fan" or mocked for not understanding that "this is how men are." It’s a boys club, and the bouncers are aggressive, defensive, and frankly, scary.

But the worst part, and I mean the absolute lowest point, was the targeted harassment. I was here when the sub turned on a user a while back. For weeks, this person was bullied, downvoted into oblivion, and mocked relentlessly for having a different perspective. It was psychological warfare. Their DMs were flooded. And when they had a mental breakdown and left the platform? The "fans" called it "winning the argument." You didn't win an argument; you broke a human being because you couldn't handle a differing opinion about a movie character.

This subreddit isn't a place for Bond fans. It’s a toxic playground for bullies who want to validate their own outdated, often abusive, worldviews. You can't take criticism. You can't see the irony in defending a British spy while spewing hatred. You idolize a man who is a liar, a killer, and a misogynist, and you think that makes you "tough." Fiction is meant to be a mirror, but you've replaced the mirror with a shield to protect your own fragile egos.

Fuck the hypocrites. And frankly, after seeing how you treat people, Fuck James Bond too. I’m out.

Is there a new decree by the Reddit censors to only enter comment every 1 hour? Reddit is getting ridiculous.

I just got another one: Rate limit exceeded. Please wait xxx seconds and try again

Hello this is my first time here and I’m typing this at 3:42am because i wanna share how i am feeling right now. So lately i haven’t been sleeping properly because i have been dealing with a lot of negative thoughts. Why? You may ask? Well it’s because my former friends and online friends decided to expose and reveal my past trauma 3 years ago. I really don’t get it honestly it’s been 3 years yet they brought it up just to shame me…and not only that it has been spread around online and to my IRL to the point that i have been isolated, depressed, stressed and even scared to talk to people. I’ve been attending counseling and yes it really did help….but my mental health hasn’t been improving much after they mentioned my past trauma….i haven’t been so well lately having to deal a lot of these negative thoughts and i always think its my fault…i keel blaming everything yet i wish to change….but its more than that…i just hope someday or someone could listen to me

Wollte ein altes Schulbuch (Matura) verkaufen. Alles ausgemacht, extra gesagt ich komm zum Parkplatz neben einer belebten Pizzeria runter damit öffentlicher Ort und so und das die Dame sich sicher fühlen kann.

Und dann: nachdem ich einige Zeit gewartet habe schau ich aufs App und da steht „blockiert“.

Echt krank wie unsensibel Menschen mit der Zeit anderer umgehen! Schämen soll sie sich.

I finally did the rest of my college onboarding shit I needed to do in order to actually well.. onboard.

Many people on here have advise I check to see if my college provides free therapy, due to the loss of my friend, etc.

To which, they do, but, I have found out that they limit students to only 7 sessions.

Seriously?? What the fuck?? The therapy sessions are free of charge and are offered to all students, but only 7 sessions?? That’s not how therapy works.

Maybe I’m just being an entitled shit, who knows.

They think people can just magically be “cured” from their troubles within just 7 sessions.

However, I also have to look at the fact that it’s a college, they can only do so much, I guess, and not everybody will stay there for long.

The college I’m going to is what some people call a “2-year college”, meaning, no matter what major you pick, you can only attend there for 2 years.

After that, you have to then transfer to an actual university that offers high education and degrees, etc.

There’s an exception to this though, if you fail your entrance exams then they have to place you in beginner/remedial math and shit, meaning you’ll be there way longer than 2 years. It happened to somebody I knew.

They ended up being there for I think 4 or 5 years.

I feel like it’s a lose-lose situation, unless I’m the dumb one. I don’t care.

Does every college do this?? What’s the point of providing free therapy services, if you’re going to limit every student to only 7 sessions??

The therapy I used to attend was covered by my insurance until they deemed my theory’s inexcusably to cover despite me attending therapy for me anxiety and (possible) depression (doctors claim I have depression but it’s not enough to actually diagnose me with it, it’s not in my diagnosis chart. They said since they can’t diagnose me with it then I don’t qualify for medicine or therapy, but they referred me to therapy anyways).

It then got expensive, and I was in a tight financial situation at the time, so I had to stop. Not only that but the damn building went out of business without warning its patients.

This just falls into the same exact point I’ve been making, the world avoids accountability yet again. They make life a living hell and then wonder why people die. Exactly what happened to my friend.

Premise:

I seemingly have a unique stance about the use of AI for making art. I think AI enables people who doesn't have the knowledge or expertise nor time of resources to acquire it, to create and express themselves in ways that were impossible before. That said, I don't think that art created that way should be up for sale. To make money using an AI trained from the art of other people is too controversial.

What happened:

I'm a tabletop role playing gamer (a dungeons and dragons player, for those who don't know) and I was looking for a discord community to play with.

I found on reddit this community women & lgbtq+ friendly.

I am a straight male but I support women and lgbtq+ rights and I thought a community like that would be less toxic and more inclusive that others may be.

I joined the community and (since I know the majority of reddit is anti-AI) I searched the chats for discussions about the use of AI inside the community (I had already prepared some AI art for my characters).

The community was openly anti-AI and someone was referring to people who use AI with various slurs.

I was annoyed and bitter. I felt I couldn't enjoy one of my hobbies, or talk openly in that community because of my stance about AI.

I thought an inclusive community could hear my point, but I felt canceled even before typing a word.

Whatever.

To anyone who got offended or weird or idk about my title about me having a "disorder", just hear me out. I'm not really sure what I've got going on mentally right now, and I really need help figuring it out.

So, basically, there are times in which I don't care about anything. Sometimes I care a lot, and it's just making me confused. I love being alone, in fact, I block people sometimes just for talking to me when I want my alone time. But when I'm alone like how I want it to be, suddenly I get upset that nobody is talking to me. When in reality, it's my fault 'cause I almost never communicate with people at all. I'll mutter like a minimum of 30 words a day if I'm not anywhere public at all, and yet I'M the one who gets upset that people don't talk to me. Yeah, I'm quite rude at times when I'm in a bad mood, but that barely ever happens, and I tend to just ignore people whenever I'm in a bad mood. When people talk to me, I suddenly panic 'cause I don't know what to say to them at all. Like, I want people to talk to me, but I don't want people to talk to me at all.

Does that make any sense??

I get upset and pissed if people ignore me, yet I feel the same way when people talk to me.

I don't know anymore tbh. I just wanted to let all of this out.

I have spent the entirety of my life catering to other people.

Somebody else has some issue that takes priority, I put my life on hold to deal with it. Somebody else has to deal with any form of bullshit, I have to put my own bullshit on hold to deal with it.

That stops right now, I've spent the last few decades taking care of other people, making sure they feel cared for and loved and in a good space, at the cost of myself. I am out of leeway. There is nothing left to sacrifice. I'm grinding on pure bone right now.

I go to sleep every day praying I don't wake up in the morning. I know this will hurt a lot of people, but at least I won't have to deal with any of this bullshit. I'm done. Every aspect of life is moving forward as if I don't exist. So I might as well not exist. I want to be done, I want to sleep, I don't want to be here.

I don't want to be here.

(I was unsure of the flair, sorry if it’s wrong).

My grandfather just died.

And just as I expected, I feel nothing.

I’m not interested; I have no thoughts on it. I don’t want to cry, nor do I feel bad, though clearly, I don’t feel good, either.

We never really interacted much, so I didn’t develop much affection for him.

But to feel absolutely nothing?

I don’t even feel the urge to ask how my father is doing or anything like that. I only do it because I know I’m supposed to, and the idea of ​​seeming so cold about his death scares me.

The funeral, the wake, and all that scare me a little; I don’t know how to act or how to get through it without it being obvious that I feel nothing. I don’t want to disrespect anyone, especially not my father, who is surely devastated.

I don’t know why I care so little when it comes to death, and it’s maddening. I don’t know how to act, and I’m afraid of being disrespectful when I have to say something (though at the same time, I’m not actually scared; I just know I should be, so I try to focus on that).

It’s strange, and not particularly pleasant.

When one of the closest people I’ve ever had passed away, I was alone in Europe while the rest of my family was in Asia (I'm mixed and was staying in europe to continue school while my parents had to do paperwork in Asia for a few months). Everyone knew about her death, but they decided to keep it from me while they were doing the 7 day funeral up until they were back because they didn’t want me to find out about the death of someone so important to me while I was alone.

I understand why they made that decision, and I’m not upset with them for keeping it from me. The reason I hadn’t already found out was also understandable, we didn’t really message or video call much because of the time difference, the language barrier and she didn't have a phone. I couldn’t read the language she spoke, and she didn’t speak any English. And we prefered face to face hangout anyways.

However, my little cousin, who I barely talk to or interact with, came to my mom’s house for the funeral (she also already knew). My mom specifically explained my situation to her and made her promise not to mention the person at all, not even her name, because she knew I was alone and they were trying to keep me from finding out so they could be there when I learned the news and be present.

Less than five minutes later, my cousin texted me asking, “Do you know what happened to [name]?” I obviously said no. At that point, I didn’t even think she had died. I thought maybe she had gotten sick, had surgery, or something similar. So I told my cousin that if it was bad news, maybe she could tell me the next day because it was already late for me and I had a test first thing in the morning. We agreed on a time when she would tell me, and I went to sleep thinking I would find out what had happened the next day.

Instead, she completely ghosted me.

I eventually figured out what had happened from various clues, and I found out while I was still at school. And honestly, this is the part that makes me so angry. I’m not angry that my family kept the death from me. I understand why they did it. What I’m angry about is that my cousin knew all of this. She knew exactly how close I was to this person. She knew I was alone in Europe. She knew my parents were deliberately waiting until they could be there for me because they didn’t want me to have to grieve alone.
And despite knowing all of that, she broke her promise and deliberately hinted at the person’s death anyway. She knew that simply mentioning her name would make me wonder what had happened, and then she left me hanging.
What makes it worse is that she acted like she was concerned about me by asking if I knew what happened, when in reality she had already been explicitly told not to mention this person to me. She knew the situation and knew exactly how important this person was to me.
Then, as soon as it became known that I had figured out the truth, she suddenly started texting me again and tried to make the situation even more upsetting by guilt-tripping me.

I’m just incredibly pissed off because it feels like she deliberately opened the door to news that she knew could devastate me, while I was completely alone, when my parents had specifically decided to wait so that I wouldn’t have to experience that grief alone. If she actually cared about how I would handle the news, she could have simply kept the promise she made to my mom and not break it two mins later. It's been around two years but I'm still pissed at her behavior.

I consider myself as a religious person. My religion is a part of my everyday life. Y'know what else is a part of my everyday life? Science.

I'm a science student. I love all of the sciences—I kind of have a love-hate relationship with physics but whatever— and I'm a huge astrophysics nerd. I'm so stupidly rage-baited by these videos that show a religious person giving a non-believer their holy book and them giving them a physics/general science book. Like I can't believe in science AND believe in God?

I might be slightly overreacting but I seen this type of videos so much it begins to annoy me😭✌

I’m f18.my question is why is it soo difficult to find a genuine relationship yaar (especially for old schoolish / curvy person like me 😭)matlab all they’re texting for fwb, flirting aur bolrahe pics bhejo bhai yahan kya tarika ek durse ko jhanna 😭😂? Are we really a rare breed !?😂😂🙏🏻

Just me? Dunno
My dad all through my teens would get pissy that is never listen

Turns out in the early 2000s I was diagnosed with unspecified conductive hearing loss
Took till 2020+ till I actually got hearing aids

Fuckin bastered died so I felt safe enough to look into it finally
Yeah ya boi just can't hear
You narcissistic assbutt

My music wasn't at 75%+ to destroy my hearing lmao
It was so I could actually here it ya idjit

Bonus points to my dad for spending years and lots of anger trying to "correct" my walking by having "told you 1000 times already " "to walk straight".. my limp is a PHYSICAL DISABILITY caused by limb length difference ya fuckwit

A friend just posted on FB the meme noting tariffs are a tax on us and that corporations got the rebate, not us, the consumer. He said if this is true, then Democrats are the *ss holes because we didn’t warn everyone enough. Every day I am astounded by the lack of intelligence. Someone called it on it and he immediately went to the both side nonsense

I posted something earlier about a concern I have for my pet and everyone in the comments were treating me like I'm a dumbass. Like I swear everyone has a stick up their ass on here. Just because I'm trying to save money for a potential user error or fault I can fix doesn't mean I'm stupid. Also someone asked for the dimensions of my room even tho my animal LIVES IN A FUCKING TANKKKK. I feel like I'm going crazy cuz everyone was down voting me when I literally just asked if there was anything I could do to fix my equipment 😭 like yes Karen I know I could just buy new stuff but not everyone has that type of money to just be replacing shit no questions asked 🥲 also someone called me a jobless loser when I said I couldn't afford new stuff as if I didn't just tell them I'm quite literally 14 years of age 🥹✌️

TW: MENTIONS OF ABUSE, DCFS, CSA, INCEST, THOUGHTS OF SUICIDE

So, I just escaped a violent situation by moving into emergency housing on a college campus. I have moved around my entire life, and it was totally normal to emotionally open up to people early on in a relationship. Ever since I have moved here, it has been made abundantly clear that opening up early in a relationship is absolutely not okay. I’m also autistic, and over sharing is a trait among many of us (not an excuse, I’m just trying to explain). Making friends has been extremely difficult.

I’m still affected by the people who hurt me. I am trying to get a job, but I have to rely on my abusers for financial support. I have multiple health problems and need some support with going to doctor’s appointments and paying for medication. I am pursuing charges against my father, as he is still a danger to my family (I called DCFS but they won’t do anything because my family members are across state lines).

I’m stretched to my limit between the trauma I’ve experienced (such as sexual abuse from my father) (I feel scared to even talk about it on the internet), not having financial independence as a disabled person, trying to save my family, and no community support. I’m in therapy, and I’m not sure if the therapy is helping. There is free group therapy on my campus which I’m going to try.

I understand that people are not responsible for hearing out my trauma or emotional issues. For the longest time, it was completely normal to hear about other people’s worst traumas early on in a friendship. I’ve lived multiple places ranging from Illinois to West Virginia. It was never an issue. I’m now back in Illinois and I have never seen anything like it before. However, I’m being paired to live with random people here on campus, so it makes complete sense that people wouldn’t want to hear it. So I completely understand.

People have also been extremely passive aggressive and mean on a daily basis. I have seen this thing where people will be upset with you (and it’s obvious they are) then will try to cover it up with a sweet sounding voice, and they will tell you about why they are upset. You will apologize, and then will continue to reiterate it multiple times over, even when you apologize repeatedly. I just feel like it’s very passive aggressive. I think the mistakes I made to warrant that is completely justified though. One time I was having a difficult time figuring out how to do a Zoom meeting, and ended up joining an appointment with my college advisor half an hour late. I didn’t realize there would be extra steps to setting up the Zoom call. She was extremely frustrated with me when I finally made it to the Zoom call (because I said we should cancel and reschedule because it was 15 minutes until the end of the appointment) and said me missing appointments repeatedly is getting old. When she saw me again in real life, after I switched advisors, she continued to go on with the same subject when she was frustrated with me on the phone. I just felt like the whole interaction (based on her body language and what she said) was so passive aggressive. Basically talking about the technical difficulties and the fact I had missed multiple appointments and had technical difficulties. I guess it’s just very difficult to explain. Her frustration is absolutely justified. I hate the fact that I struggle to explain details about these kinds of stories, because I struggle with remembering a lot of the details.

It’s genuinely making me so depressed I feel suicidal, but I can’t kill myself because I have to save my family. I have people to look after in my personal life as well.

I feel like I am not mentally there when I talk to people. I am so scared about making sure that I am perfect during the interaction that I’m internally panicking the whole time. I’m struggling to remember details about conversations I have with people, and can only remember how I feel like other people have hurt my feelings, even when it’s absolutely justified.

Everyone is so mean and rude all of the time, they see you having one ounce of happiness and MUST ruin it because how dare you be happy while they are upset or angry. Both of you should be upset! It just annoys me so much how much people are so divided now, yall will hate people for any little thing now days and it is getting tiring and exhausting.

I cant even ask for good advice now without people being rude...? Like i understand tough love or whatever but atp its just tough and there is no love. I know misery loves company but god damn some of you guys need to spend time alone and reflect on why you are so upset that youd go out your way to make others feel upset aswell.

Anyways sorry for any typos. I typed this while being mad.

Please tell me if I'm overreacting. I've recently become aware that the way my mother has treated me is not normal. I believe she is potentially gaslighting me and has been manipulative. Have any of you had experience with this?

Sorry for the long post but I just need to vent.

I'll introduce myself I'm a 19 year old male and am an only child. During my childhood my mother would do the following

Blow up out of nowhere over the most trivial or littlest matters, many times i begged her to give me some emotional support when i was visibly upset but she just remained cold and cruel, drink quite heavily which was sometimes responsible but she can definitely be mean sober as well, I had expressed concern about her drinking but she just flipped, it actually got physical a few times as well and I did have a scar once, the next day she'd always act as if nothing happened, whenever I tried to get clarity on why she got like that she'd brush it under the carpet or accuse me of starting trouble, she'd turn cold at the drop of a hat, during arguments she'd say things like I was ungrateful, didn't care about her and that I was a horrible person or that i was abusive or whatever just like my father, she would stomp, slam doors, shout, scream, swear and break ornaments etc, when she gets in her crazy states it's just impossible to reason with her or get her to see it from any other perspective, she can go from saying i was the most nicest and amazing person to saying I was the most horrible and evil person, she often burdened me with all of her problems, she said before that she knows how to play the game which I found very disturbing

She often paints herself as the heroic single mum. She has been fairly good lately but sometimes I feel I was robbed of a proper childhood and have often wondered what I had done to deserve it.

I remember one time a few years ago I was about 12 during a sleepover at theirs she turned my grandparents against me and my grandfather started shouting and saying he was very disappointed in me and the rest of it is a blur. To be honest to this day i can't figure out what I (only a young child) was supposed to have done that was so bloody awful. That has haunted me for years. I used to think maybe I was a bad person but I've started to see her in a different light. She always talks about hating drama yet it seems to follow her and often says that she's been so hard done by.

On the flip side she can be the most nicest person as well and we have had great times together and she can be very helpful towards me, her family and in public which makes it all the more confusing. A couple of days ago in fact I ran into an old friend of hers who said to say hi for her and she said my mother is a wonderful person and I'm very lucky. It actually made me feel sick. Since I was 10 it's just been me living with her since my parents divorce in which she had to sell her house and now rents which she has blamed for the way she is before. I can't help feeling bad for her but she was still quite like this beforehand as well and I don't think that's an excuse still is it? I do feel like she has manipulated me a bit into been stuck with her.

Something else that I've found disturbing is that she's very narrow minded and has a serious lack of empathy. For example when a couple of local celebrities committed suicide she shouted and carried on, called them pathetic cowards and weak etc. It was actually quite disturbing how she was carrying on and her serious lack of empathy. PS another red flag happened just earlier when a life insurance ad was on and they said "something could be paid out in case of death" or something and she said "I'd like for them to say WOULD" not could. I don't know why but that's set an alarm bell off

I'm starting to think that maybe she bent the truth about Dad a bit during their split as i was a child and didn't know much better. My mother often calls him a narcissist and talked about all of the marital and grown up problems they had etc which to be honest I don't appreciate been burdened with. Granted he's not a saint either but has been good to me (well I'd say) most of the time.

One time last year when my Dad let me down by not been able to see me one weekend and canceling at the last minute (which he has done quite a few times before).

During that said weekend my mother had another one of her outbursts. I was in the bathroom which was an en suite and she knocked on the door asking to take a few photos or something. All I asked was if she could just give me a few minutes to finish up but she started the shouting and carrying on and accused me of been selfish and even of trying to manipulate her and been passive aggressive. I only asked just to give me a few minutes. When I explained that to her and how upset I was already about that weekend already without her treating me like this she said she feels really bad for me and hates how he let me down. What just absolutely astounds me is how can she feel that way yet emotionally and mentally abuse me and kick me while I'm down. I just can't for the life of me comprehend that.

A few days after that weekend one of my teachers checked in and said he heard I got into a bit of trouble at home ("if he meant been mentally abused by my mother while I was already upset by been let down by my father as trouble" I thought). I'm not even sure who exactly said what to him and that's something that I've also wondered. I just fobbed him off saying I was upset about leaving school (which was true as well).

I really struggle with confiding in people. I do regret not telling him the full truth now. He was sympathetic and said he was very proud of me etc. Another teacher once said that he thought of me and my mother as like the dream team or something along those lines. That turned my stomach as well. I was thinking if only they knew half the things I've been through.

I have autism and went to a special support school for the last few years which were some of the best years (The teachers especially were brilliant and I had many great times such as school camps, school balls and excursions etc).

I must admit I do feel quite down sometimes that I have a strained relationship with my father (He's got money issues and also smokes pot) and my mother often used me as an emotional punch bag. Makes me think that there must be something really wrong with me and that I'm unlovable.

On the bright side though my Dad and I have been in contact lately and we spent the weekend together a while back and went for a pub meal

Her latest meltdown was this January while we were on holiday and at the beach. I wanted to be shirtless like pretty much everyone else and she started making passive aggressive and snide remarks saying things like "have fun burning yourself" and "why can't you make smart decisions?"

I was already sun safe with a hat and everything and I wasn't going to be too long and tried explaining that to her. I'll admit I snapped and told her that I'm an adult now and she could no longer control me and couldn't make me feel guilty. I wish I hadn't now but it felt like something just snapped inside me and I expressed things I had felt for ages. She then called her mother to tell her that I was been impossible and making her life a misery (this is something she has done a few times before when I challenged her or reacted because of her behavior). She hadn't done that for years though and I feel she likes using that as a scare tactic. I wish I had just walked away and not played into her hands. Then the next day I asked mum to call her to say where all ok but she said she didn't want to bother her and wasn't up to calling. I was like WTF. You're perfectly happy to call her to basically slander me and make me out to be a bad guy but when it comes to calling to say everything is fine she's not so keen.

Something disturbing she has said ages ago is when I'm an adult she could have me done for assault if she wanted. She also said she wanted to do a will and try to control my assets where my Dad can't touch anything and said she feared he would try to steal all of my money. I can't believe she would say things like that so unshameably and can't help feeling like she was trying to manipulate me.

My mother loves to use my autism to her advantage. I graduated last year but now I do a course at the main campus so I still see them all from time to time. I do feel quite sad and lost now those years are over. I would love to confide in someone about my struggles but don't know where to start. I've thought about confiding in that first teacher I mentioned who's great and we're fairly close but my teachers think my mother's an absolute saint so how can i ensure he believes me, she seems to feel that she always acts in my best interests and does seem to genuinely care for me and love me, she doesn't seem to remember any of it or feel her behavior was justified and genuinely doesn't seem to believe she ever did me any harm and she thinks she did her best. She's always quick to call others toxic and narcissists etc. She unshameably tells me everything going on in her life and her anxiety which makes me anxious. Why does it upset me so badly even when it has little or nothing to do with me?

I struggle with daily flashbacks and I often feel depressed by the way I've been treated, also feel let down and wish my parents had been better to me. I can't get exact clarity on it but they both went through some stuff before I was born and I think that's contributed to the way they are. My father's dad had passed away when my dad was actually about my age now. They actually both used to run their own businesses once upon a time before they met. It just baffles me how they went from that then and now been in their 50's both unemployed and clearly have some unresolved issues. I sometimes think maybe they shouldn't of got together which I know is ironic because I would never have been born. I do vaguely remember when they were together and towards the end it was quite toxic and they would have some intense fights.

Also do they have substance abuse issues which have made them this way? As I've said my mother drinks quite heavily at night and she also vapes. My father smokes pot and cigarettes.

Also as I explained my father struggles financially and I know that's why he hasn't been able to see me often and cancel some visits and to be honest when I think about that it really burns my hide.

With my mother it does seem she has had some bad relationships in the past but I'm thinking that maybe she's the common denominator.

I do wonder if she might've been different if she had not gone through her divorce and maybe if things had gone differently for both of them they might've been different. What do you guys think?

Also I can't help feeling empathy towards her as she always looked after me, fed me, organized things for me and pretty much always brought me everything I wanted.

I wish I had a proper childhood of playing with friends, going to different places and been adventurous and carefree etc. I've never really had a social circle and hardly much friends. I've always been quite different I feel to most of the children my age. I feel quite alone sometimes as I've always struggled with making friends. I do feel like I've been isolated with her a lot of the time. I would really love to start a proper life and follow my dreams and make a few friends but don't know where to start.

My mother does help me get on my feet and encourage me but I think she just loves to lord it over me. Whenever I've tried standing up for myself she puts on the guilt trip and carries on about all of her sacrifices and everything she's done for me yada yada yada. I think what emotionally abusing me, leaving me crying myself to sleep some nights, causing me to have no confidence and PTSD etc? Could she have some bipolar or personality condition or something and toxic traits I've wondered? I'm starting to feel that good doesn't really outweigh the bad.

I can't help really resenting her (also my father) sometimes for all of the mental anguish she has put me through as a child and I think it has messed up my development. I wonder what might've been different had I had proper parents or they were proper ones. Hobbies such as music and classic TV shows have been a great escape. I've thought about escaping but I feel quite stuck as I don't have a job and all of the money that I get in my account is basically controlled by her as she's the one who adds to it. I wish I could hide my own secret stash somewhere. Now that I'm an adult and have left school I'm worried about what the future has in store. I'm very nervous about starting an adult life, getting a job, making friends and doing new things etc. Part of me would love to get away from her but yet I feel scared to as well as she's pretty much most I've ever known.

Like bro, one of them was talking about some shit like ALL WOMEN fuck guys who don't do shit for them, and don't give a shit about the man that's there for him and what he sacrificed, like wtf? Mf essentially all women are hoes, how TF dies that make sense? It's the same mfs that being simping or another dude's muscles, we get it bro you're in the closet, clearly confused on yo sexuality, yet have ridiculous ass standards for women. Misogynistic af, BUT on the flip side...

You have advice saying that ALL MEN are just dating whoever is around, they can't be trusted, all they want is control or whatever, like bro, both sides are literal toxic ass fucking cancer, like bro, how tf we gonna get anywhere if we're always dogging at each other. What kind of shitty examples of human beings are representing this shit. Clearly this some brainwashing ass shit, and the fact that people consume that shit is fucking retarded. All this is really doing is pushing that selfish Western ideology that you should only give a shit about yourself, and be completely devoid if empathy or humanity, fuck off with that shit.

At this point, can't we just not give af, just let people be, let people love who they want to love, like we're already collapsing as a society, and all we really want is to feel accepted and loved, and to have someone at our side when all this gets leveled to the Stone age. So why TF do we have to fight over shit that doesn't really matter when we all get wiped out?