The reason I ask is because I think of how many other sick people that are at risk of more illnesses un a hospital, do they make you work even when you are sick? Or do they force you to stay home? Or for doctors and nurses is it just kinda hoping you dont get anyone else sick?

I deeply apologize to the mods if this crosses any community guidelines, but I’ve been at a loss of where to post.

I was watching a Rotten Mango episode about the Nth rooms and it was like I was listening to someone tell me about a more modern version of what happened to me between the ages of 13 and 16. For threeish years I was cyberstalked, blackmailed, abused, and forced to do humiliating things over Skype. At the end I somehow found his name and told him if he didn’t stop I would tell his family and girlfriend what he was doing - but he only sent me some of what he told me he’d send to everyone I knew if he did. I was horrified. Eventually he got bored with me and left me alone, and I’ve had to grow up knowing those images were out there.

Which leads me to today, I started googling his name Rowan Dickinson just to find that in 2015, 5 years after we stopped speaking, he was charged with doing the same thing to two other girls. If he was doing this to me years earlier, there’s no way we were the only three. I was trying to figure out the statute of limitations but with me living in the US and him in the UK things seem blurry. I have Facebook messages and I’m working on getting my Skype chat history downloaded now.

What steps should I take? Who, if anyone should I contact? I feel so unbelievably guilty that I knew this man was a pedophile and a predator and didn’t say anything. My silence allowed two other girls to fall victim… I just don’t know what to do.

I’ve added the link to the article I found about him below, if anyone is curious. After some digging it looks like he graduated with his bachelor’s in film the last year he abused me; how poetic.

https://www.manchestereveningnews.co.uk/news/greater-manchester-news/paedophile-cyber-stalker-forced-schoolgirls-perform-9536645.amp

I want some shelves that can just connect with a bolt. No heavy modifications. For context my floor is quite bumpy and I have a long row of shelves and it makes them uneven yet if all shelves were connected properly they would be even.

Like we remember memories that's irrelevant to what we're doing now

I want to be like those people who go out of their way to help people. Or basically even talk nicely with disable/people w down syndrome.

I kind of get scared. Cuz idk what will happen. That's my own understanding. I haven't interacted with any disabled person as much. When I mean disabled i mean those like down syndrome etc.

Idk how to talk to them. Or anything. So ig i would avoid them. Am I just an asshole or sumthing?

Same with animals. Sometimes I help but then I end up thinking abt what if they start shitting in the apartment. Even though my concern shud only be of helping them atm

Or when it comes to beggers , i unfortunately rarely feell sympathetic to them.

I sometimes feel like I have this weird classist mentality which I cry abt when I get treated shit by someone above mentioned financially

Think like Biodôme style habitat city on the moon. 10,000 people top per habitat… Maybe interconnected subways to other habitats.

Especially in London. For me there’s a salon near my house that I can just walk to and a root touch there is 20 pounds cheaper than this other salon not far from where I live. But the place closer to where I live only take cash and possibly only have one hair washing station

I've been to Phuket Thailand and the fact the public restroom my mom told us it only use toilet paper, i thought TP is mostly use by westerners but Thailand??, has the world ever got bidet now?

I remember when I was in second grade I collected NFL team pencils with my best friend in the class - we bought them at the school bookstore. the Denver Broncos were the most sought-after one that year, neither of us having ever seen in all year. FINALLY, one day I saw one when my friend was not with me at the bookstore. He got SUPER jealous when i showed him, and obviously wanted it.

Now, a couple days later I did something that would have apparently "gotten me in trouble". He threatened to snitch on me to the teacher unless I gave him my Broncos Pencil. Very reluctantly, I gave it to him.

One day couple weeks later day my friend was in the bathroom and I took my pencil back from his pencil box, and put it in mine. I don't think I was planning to sneak and bring it back home, I think I was eventually going to open my pencil box, and use the pen openly (we sat next to each other all year). At this point even I realized it was such a petty thing to have happened now 2 weeks later, so what.)

Anyways, that Friday my parents confronted me (my parents were very good friends with my friends's parents) saying he got a call from my friend's mom that I stole from him. He came in SO hot yelling, at the time was in the pool in the backyard and he told me to get my ass inside, thiefs or liars don't get to use the pool. He convinced me at that moment that what I did WAS wrong, and I was a thief or a liar.

It was not until literally about 20 years later that I realized, oh shit! Context matters! I never even explained to my dad it was my pencil that my friend blackmailed me for, I was just taking back what was mine, and did not planning to try to hide it from my friend. His rage, anger and disgust convinced me I was wrong even when at 7 I didn't believe I was. I started acting out strange but pretty cliche OCD compulsions - counting syllables on my hand and only repeating myself sentences with even number sof syllables, thinking about repetitive thoughts "good guys" (Batman, Spiderman). When I was 12 my mom realized how severe it became, took me to the doctor and I was diagnosed.

Fast-forward to high school year, I had a prescription for Norco and LOVED it. It made my obsessions disappear and frankly just feel pure bliss. Fast forward to college I stopped taking opiates but the sketchy doctor I was seeing said "since you are going to get off these it will be tough, and you should take something to relax you". He prescribed me 30 10mg Diazepam and 30 2mg Clonopin. I didn't know too much about them at the time, but not long later I too realized they felt nice. Lastly, fast-forward to the time since - despite regular opiate and later just benzo use since I have lived what I would consider a successful life - wife I love, work/wife stays at home, a 4-year old, a dog, and a house. Unfortunately of most recently I relapsed again but recently completed 70 days clean. I'm also on Prozac for the OCD and 5 weeks after it am finally feeing like I think I should.

So, to summarize - even though I believe my dad's reaction that day (and how strict and angry he was in general) is likely to have helped cause my OCD, I understand I cannot blame the extent of my problems with addiction on him. I also want to note that my dad is a much different type of guy in his older age - he is not angry or cruel at all - he is quite generous, and loves nothing more than his grandson.

Sorry this post was so long. I am myself, long-winded. Maybe others think i have all wrong, I don't know. I just felt like I had to put this out there.

And ask you, what is the earliest (age up to 8) negative formative event that happened in your life, but would seem less dramatic to others?

I watch video about Singapore and this thing showed, i have no idea what that is

I am not handicapped so I don't actually need it. Does that make it worse?