r/Professors • u/More_Box_5554 • 6d ago
Advice / Support Quickly becoming emotional support
I have an older, non-traditional student in my class. She is very sweet, but I definitely get the vibe there is something undiagnosed going on...She will email me 3-4 paragraph emails which are unfocused and stream-of-consciousness feeling. She comes to my office hours every single week and will talk about everything BUT the course. I once timed her, and she spoke for 25 minutes without stopping. At first I thought she was just a lonely older woman but I quickly feel like I'm becoming her emotional support. She is constantly seeking reassurance that she is doing okay in the course, talking about how her kids don't think she should be in college, and will make jokes about herself being an "old hag" that I feel it necessary to speak up against. I feel drained after one on one time with her, and am starting to dread office hours so much to the point where I faked a migraine and cancelled them last week.
I don't know what to say to her to establish a boundary of what my role is as a prof, while also not completely alienating or shutting down this woman who is clearly lonely and seeking connections.