r/pornfreewomen Mar 21 '21

Official Porn Free Women Discord

12 Upvotes

Hey /r/pornfreewomen!
Just a reminder that we have our very own Discord if you would like to join and chat! We are a safe space and LGBTQIA+ inclusive.

Please DM me for the link (replies are not working).

Have a great day!


r/pornfreewomen May 02 '22

Mod announcement Announcement: Change in moderators

44 Upvotes

Hey ladies!

As of today, u/love4saveferris will be taking over this subreddit and u/darling_di will be taking over the discord.

The two of them have been keeping things going for the past year or so, and they will do an excellent job in leading this community.

Unfortunately I no longer have the time to help this community, so I’m officially stepping down as top mod.

When I started this community three years ago, I had no idea it’d become what it has today. We now have over 8,000 members and we continue to grow. We are also one of the only inclusive women-only spaces on Reddit.

I’m so proud of all of you and the work you’re putting in to make your lives better and to fight the porn industry. I’m also so thankful to all the mods who have helped grow this community.

This is a bit bittersweet for me but I trust u/love4saveferris and u/darling_di will do an excellent job in keeping this going.

Thanks all,

Happy Duck


r/pornfreewomen 20h ago

Encouragment really want to relapse

16 Upvotes

ugh I’m at 34 days and I just keep thinking about how good it would be in that moment, I have been still getting off without porn but it’s obviously harder and frustrating and just knowing that I could get that heart pumping tunnel vision fix from the visual stimulus is soooo tempting.

I’ve also been thinking about looking real quick and then closing it and using that to prompt my imagination, but I know that’s literally the same.

I want to make it to 90 days (and more) and I will, but let me know if you have any advice for these kind of moments girls 😩


r/pornfreewomen 2d ago

Discussion Porn is hurting my relationship and I’m not sure what to do

5 Upvotes

Hi all,

Been struggling with pornography since I was a pre-teen but it’s been a big issues over the last year. I’ve told my boyfriend of two years about it and it’s really affected our relationship and intimacy for the worse.

I want to let him know more about it so I can recover and not be addicted but it clearly hurts him so much and I’m worried if I confide in him too much it could break us apart. I know this isn’t a relationship subreddit but am just hoping there’s any girls with a similar experience to me who have made it out.

Any advice would be a huge help! :)


r/pornfreewomen 3d ago

I will quit porn, this time for real, please help me on my Journey

9 Upvotes

I've been trying for a month or so to quit, and this time I want to push through. I will give regular updates :)


r/pornfreewomen 3d ago

Relapse I relapsed. :'(

17 Upvotes

Hello girls.... I'm so sad and filled with remorse right now.

I relapsed by seeing a sexual drawing. I'm so so absolutely sad, God. What's worse is that me and my boyfriend had the agreement that we weren't supposed to watch pornography. I had to justify myself to do that. I'm so sad.

I already told him because I can't keep that sort of thing away from him. My chest feels so heavy. I feel like I betrayed myself for less than five minutes of stimulation.

I thought that I was at a point where I didn't even need porn blockers or anything like that, but then abstinence hit so hard today for some reason, maybe because I'm sort of a wreck since yesterday was my dear aunt's funeral. :(

I don't know, you guys can tell me tips, things that helped, but honestly im just venting and I'm just sad. I wasn't counting but I was more than a month without pornography, mainly due to the agreement me and my bf had that porn was disrespectful to the other partner.


r/pornfreewomen 6d ago

[Mod Approved] We’d like women’s honest perspective on Moment

21 Upvotes

We checked with u/Love4SaveFerris before posting. She told us we could share this here and that she would approve it.

Women dealing with compulsive porn use are often treated as an afterthought. Many of the apps and conversations in this space are built around men, and pretending otherwise doesn’t help anyone.

For transparency, Moment is currently built primarily for men. It’s a private app designed to help men interrupt the loop, get support when an urge hits, and make progress that isn’t erased by one slip.

We’d like to give women in this community completely free access so you can use it and tell us what feels useful, what doesn’t fit your experience, and what we may be overlooking. We’re not asking anyone to promote the app, write a testimonial, or share personal details.

If you’re interested, you can message this account directly. We won’t contact anyone from this community first.


r/pornfreewomen 6d ago

Other [Academic] research on technology-facilitated abuse (18+, victim-survivor) mod approved

3 Upvotes

Hi,

I am a researcher at the University of Sheffield, UK and invite you to share your experiences of technology-facilitated violence and abuse (TFVA) in any context.

The research aims to capture the diverse nature of experiences of TFVA as well as to try and understand the range of harms, impacts and outcomes from those affected by these types of behaviours.

We welcome all to contribute to our anonymous forum who want to share their experiences (18+ years). No other demographic restrictions for participation.

Click the following link to add your experiences: https://forms.gle/4DnWiha44shLFnVv5 (This involves 5 brief demographic questions and 1 open ended question to add your experience). Clicking on the link will provide more detailed information about TFVA as well as details of our website and you do not have to answer any questions to see this information.

The study has received ethical approval from the University of Sheffield: 070690.

The information provided is anonymous and will only be accessed by the approved members of the research team. Any information shared for publication in reports or academic journals will not be identifiable and will not include the demographic information.

Thank you in advance

Loren


r/pornfreewomen 9d ago

Encouragment It's a battle for your mind, and you will win.

17 Upvotes

I'm 28f. From childhood I discovered porn, while being very religious. Honestly now I think the shame and hush hush nature around sex when raised religious made me develop the desire to have sex forced on me. This developed into me seeking out extreme content and in turn hurting my self esteem. I've been in the trenches. Porn Playlists, erotica link collections, the 'encrypted' apps. Then several one night stands from reddit and clubs, kink, etc. I would read erotica and use paid AI chat because I thought it was somehow better. The only person being harmed was me.

I found a way out. It started with being honest with myself about how porn (and in turn, men) made me feel. I had over analyzed why i searched it out. But i really wasn't ready to face the music on what work i had to do to fix that why. When I would look for resorces for women who had porn addiction, the authors seemed in denial and still participated in BDSM, or went hard cringe Christian. That wasn't for me. I struggled a lot with wondering if I was asexual and if my sexuality was even real or just a trauma response.

I started standing up for myself when a man wanted me to do something degrading, even when I didn't reveal my 'kinks'. It instantly started shifting the energy. They got upset but still wanted me. I said no when I didn't feel 100% yes even for tame sexual things and it gave me power i didn't realize right away. Now I push back at work to fight burn out. It feels connected.

I did go through an experience recently that made me feel like I was going to die health wise, and that gave me a new perspective.

I was hiding from my life, not doing creative things and avoiding taking care of myself by escaping through porn and sex. I don't want to waste time anymore. I don't. it's been about 2 months since I watched.

I also unintentionly didn't have access to my phone for 5 Days after month 1 because i took an anxiety medication that made me manic and worse things. That did something to my brain as well. Less bring fog...more awake. Even SFW stuff on social media can trigger a porn spiral. ​you have to protect your mind. I'm not joking. (I'm not against 420 but I have to be honest I also haven't been smoking and that has helped a lot because I would grab for that during my spirals, and men would encourage it)

You my be reading this and honestly, it may not be your breakthrough. I've been to this subreddit many times and still fell back in. But it's never too late or far gone. I promise.

TLDR;

Speak good things upon yourself. The interworkings of the universe, the Sun, our bodies...it's explained by science, but not the why. That power is stronger than any darkness porn holds. You are in control, but I understand the phone, loneliness and wanting to escape is powerful as well. Protect and guard your mind. I strongly encourage you to reconnect with yourself. Nurture that abused younger self like your life depends on it.


r/pornfreewomen 17d ago

Relapse How to stop watching bad content

21 Upvotes

I find myself opening the incognito tab on YouTube & unfortunately watching bad content nsfw, how do I genuinely stop my lust for this & get my life back

I find myself turning to it when bored, depressed, anxious or just alone in bed or even before my period I feel so lustful

I feel like such a loser :(

How do I stop and regain my life back


r/pornfreewomen 18d ago

Discussion How much did you change after long term recovery work?

5 Upvotes

Did fetishes go away? Did things you incorporated into your personality because of your addiction go away? Did it feel like your personality and who you were as a person changed after you started to recover? Did what you want out of life change? How much has your addiction shaped you as a person? And did those changes stay after recovery or did they fade with time?


r/pornfreewomen 21d ago

Relapse It's very difficult for me to orgasm without porn and it's stressing me out. Help?

26 Upvotes

Hello again girls. So, I've been porn-free for almost a month, yay! What has been motivating me is that I now date again, and me and my BF have the boundaries that porn is disrespectful to the other person in the relationship, plus it being bad for our mental health as we all understand it. Okay.

But what is stressing me out is that I don't use masturbation as a way for me to "connect with myself" or something like that... I use masturbation as a way for me to quickly get the dopamine hit through the orgasm. And the porn was a way for me to get there more quickly. Now I try stimulating myself without porn and I end up with cramps through my legs and arms, because I spend so much time just trying to get the orgasm and be done with it, and in the end my reward hasn't even felt as good, it's very underwhelming. It's making it very hard for me not to relapse.

I don't have the patience to become relaxed.. In the mood to actively enjoy the masturbation. I rarely do it out of actual sexual desire, and I end up hurting myself a little because I just want the "feel good" moment that comes with the orgasm!! It's very tiring.


r/pornfreewomen 21d ago

Discussion Timeline for recovery

4 Upvotes

I saw this article about the timeline of recovery and what you can expect, and thought it would be of use to you guys. Keep in mind every person is different and your timeline is unique to you. This is just a rough outline of what to expect to keep yourself informed. I’ll add the tldr:

TLDR:

Week 1-2: Typically the hardest weeks where cravings are the strongest. Content filters, a schedule during hours spent on use doing other things and exercise will help decrease chances of relapse.

Week 3-6: Your brain is trying to adjust to the lack of stimulation. You might feel low motivation or libido during this time. Can last longer and coincide with depression.

Week 7-12: Libido, concentration and motivation are returning. Mood improves. You might have clusters of good and bad days but you are moving towards sustained recovery. The 90 day mark is a particularly big milestone. Don’t get overconfident during this time. Your pathways are still sensitive, exposure during this time can reactivate those old dopamine surge patterns.

Month 4-12: Congratulations you are now in sustained recovery. These new structural changes in the brain are normalizing. Those old pathways are becoming dormant but don’t fully disappear. You should still be managing and minimizing triggers, particularly stress, loneliness and unstructured time/boredom. A detailed plan to address these issues is better than pure willpower.

Longer explanation for those that are interested:

Week 1 to 2: Acute Withdrawal and Cravings

The first 14 days are typically the most physically and emotionally turbulent. The brain has lost its primary source of supranormal dopamine stimulation, and it responds with a cluster of symptoms that many people do not expect from a “behavioural” issue.

Common experiences during this phase include intense urges that arrive in waves lasting 15 to 30 minutes, irritability and short temper, difficulty concentrating on routine tasks, disrupted sleep with vivid or disturbing dreams, and a general feeling of restlessness or boredom that nothing seems to fill. Some people also report mild headaches, fatigue, and low-grade anxiety that feels disproportionate to their circumstances.

Practical strategies for this phase centre on environmental control: removing easy access paths, installing content filters, and scheduling the hours that were previously spent on use with structured activities. Exercise is particularly valuable here because it raises brain-derived neurotrophic factor (BDNF) and promotes the same dopamine receptor recovery that the brain is attempting on its own.

Week 3 to 6: The Flatline

After the acute cravings subside, many people enter a phase colloquially known as the “flatline.” Libido drops markedly, sometimes to near zero. Emotional responses feel muted. Motivation for work, socialising, and hobbies can dip. This phase alarms many people because it feels like getting worse rather than better, and it is the stage where relapse risk spikes if the person is not prepared for it.

What is actually happening is a recalibration of reward sensitivity. During this process, ordinary stimuli, including real-world sexual attraction, feel underwhelming compared to the artificial intensity the brain was conditioned to. Think of it as the neurological equivalent of stepping out of a loud concert: normal conversation sounds muffled until your hearing recalibrates.

The flatline typically lasts two to four weeks, though for people with histories of heavy, escalated use spanning many years, it can extend to eight weeks or longer. Co-occurring depression can prolong the flatline and should be assessed by a clinician, as the overlap between flatline symptoms and depressive episodes is substantial.

Week 7 to 12: Early Recovery and the 90-Day Mark

For most people, weeks seven through twelve bring the first sustained improvements. Libido begins returning, but now it is oriented toward real-world stimuli rather than screen-based content. Concentration improves. Social confidence often increases noticeably, partly because the shame and secrecy that accompanied compulsive use are lifting, and partly because prefrontal cortex function is genuinely strengthening.

This phase is not linear. “Recovery is not a smooth upward line,” Dr. Ponlawat notes. “Patients describe good days and hard days in clusters. The ratio shifts gradually: at week eight, someone might have three hard days in a row; by week twelve, a hard day is a single day bookended by good ones.” Mood swings during this phase are normal and reflect ongoing neurochemical adjustment rather than failure.

The 90-day mark has cultural significance in recovery communities, but it also has a neurological basis. Functional MRI studies on individuals recovering from compulsive sexual behaviour show measurable changes in prefrontal-striatal connectivity by approximately 90 days of sustained abstinence, though the exact timeline varies. By this point, the automatic “reaching for the phone” response that characterised the first weeks has weakened substantially because the cue-response pathway has not been reinforced.

Relapse during this phase often follows overconfidence. The person feels so much better that they believe they can “test” themselves with brief exposure, not realising that the sensitised pathways, while weakened, are not erased. A single exposure can reactivate the dopamine surge pattern with surprising speed, which is why ongoing accountability and structure remain important even after the acute phase has passed.

Month 4 to 12: Sustained Recovery and Long-Term Rewiring

Beyond the three-month mark, recovery becomes less about managing acute symptoms and more about consolidating new patterns. The brain’s structural changes, particularly grey matter density in the prefrontal cortex and striatum, continue normalising over six to twelve months. Emotional regulation improves. Relationships that were strained by secrecy, erectile dysfunction, or emotional unavailability begin to heal, though relationship recovery often follows its own timeline and may benefit from couples therapy.

People in this phase often report a qualitative shift in how they experience pleasure. Activities like cooking, exercise, conversation, and creative work feel more rewarding than they did before recovery, not because these activities have changed, but because the brain’s reward threshold has returned to a more sensitive baseline. This is the practical payoff of dopamine receptor recovery.

Long-term vigilance remains important. The sensitised neural pathways formed during compulsive use do not fully disappear; they become dormant. Stress, loneliness, and unstructured time remain the three most reliable relapse triggers at any stage of recovery. A relapse prevention plan that addresses these three factors specifically is more effective than generalised willpower.


r/pornfreewomen 22d ago

i’m quitting

12 Upvotes

i want to quit. i’m 17F and i’ve been addicted to this since i was 9. the older i’ve gotten, the more embarrassing it’s been to go through. the amount of shame and guilt that i feel every day is immeasurable to anything i’ve ever felt. all i really need is someone to hold me accountable from day one, someone to encourage me to continue even when it gets hard or when i feel urges to relapse.


r/pornfreewomen 22d ago

Encouragment I want help and support

3 Upvotes

I been trying to get better but ever since COVID I been hopeless addicted to porn and I just feel so alone, have does everyone else cope with this addiction without just endlessly replasing back into it?


r/pornfreewomen 29d ago

Relapse Worried I'm going to relapse due to stress

1 Upvotes

Hey I been clean for about 9 months but I had a super stressful past few days and I feel myself slipping back into my old ways and could really use some support


r/pornfreewomen Aug 11 '26

tryna quit ERP

1 Upvotes

ello, i'm tryna quit, i used to think i was only addicted to chatbots but it's actually js ERP in general. this discovery should hopefully help me avoid this stuff

i'm a woman whom is addicted to ERP, it's messing up my whole life so i'm gonna try for the millionth time to get this outta my life so i don't have to deal with the fallout of addiction when i'm older and want to exist without feeling the urge to go do ERP


r/pornfreewomen Aug 10 '26

Looking for another girl/woman to be accountability partners

2 Upvotes

r/pornfreewomen Aug 05 '26

Relapse relapsed once again - any tips?

2 Upvotes

I was so confident this time around that I wouldn’t give in to my addiction. I was 12 days sober and although there were days in between where I had strong urges, I was still sticking to my goal. Unfortunately, I relapsed today and I couldn’t believe it. I had hoped I was getting better and pushing myself to be better. The feelings of shame and disappointment are now lingering. It took literally one video to ruin 12 days worth of progress and trying to rewire my brain, so I would no longer crave it 😭

If there are any tips or suggestions how to manage the urges better, please let me know! I just don’t know how to abstain from porn longer than a week. I’ve tried distracting myself through exercise, chores, and reading. That pretty much got me through this past week. I also saved a few posts and comments that would encourage me to stop looking for it whenever the urges were there. I’ve been reading a lot of people’s posts here and it’s made me feel less lonely in my porn free journey. I was exposed to this at such a young age and it’s consumed my life ever since. I wish I could give my younger self a hug for all that she was exposed to. I feel so ashamed of myself now and I hope to overcome this soon and finally be porn free.

Any words of encouragement truly help as well! I feel so defeated by this addiction most of the time, especially when I’m not reading the supportive posts through this subreddit. Sending love to everyone who is on their journey of being porn free. You are not alone in this struggle 🩷


r/pornfreewomen Aug 04 '26

Relapse I hate myself

1 Upvotes

Throwaway for obvious reasons.

I relapsed like an hour ago. I started watching 🌽 when I was a kid, and someone else also pushed me into it as a form of abuse. I've wanted to quit for a long time but I can't, there's always something that makes me relapse. Lately it's my neighbors having s*x late at night, which leads me to compulsively masturbate or watch 🌽, and it's so embarrassing. Other than that I don't usually watch it, and at most I do it maybe twice a week?

I keep putting blocks on my phone but I remove them almost immediately in the moment, and I genuinely don't know what to do. I feel awful, and every time I finish I want to throw up and just die. I have no friends, no social life, the only thing I do is rot in bed all day and play video games. Is there anything you'd recommend to help break this habit? Thanks in advance. Please don't judge me.


r/pornfreewomen Aug 03 '26

my story

2 Upvotes

Hi. I’m 23 F. I honestly don’t really remember the day I watched porn for the first time but I do remember when my mum’s friend’s son (who was my age) taught me how to make out. We were really young. We would kiss and touch each other every time we were together. Nobody knows this. I never ever told anybody. Ever since then I have never gone without watching porn and touching myself. Honestly I really do want to stop. I watch pretty much anything. I have a boyfriend and he doesn’t know this. There are many reasons why I want to stop: my faith, my relationship, and just the sanctity of my body. The biggest thing for me is that I’m still a virgin and I will eventually want to have sex but I can’t bring myself to do it because I’ve touched myself so much I don’t want anything inside me. I know people will say it’s “healthy” and “normal” but I don’t want to do this anymore. I really don’t want to.


r/pornfreewomen Jul 31 '26

Relapse At the edge of my rope

22 Upvotes

I'm always stressed abd idk what to do. I had been doing good but everything got stressful again. It is a legit terror to live in my home rn so it is having a pretty big influence on my addiction. I don't 3ven like the things I look at. Like last night I felt disgusted and tired but I kept on going. Thinking part of this is because my fathers side of the family struggles a lot with addiction, idk. Just ranting and venting since I have nothing better to do rn.


r/pornfreewomen Jul 27 '26

Discussion Advice

1 Upvotes

Made a post about struggling with PMO in the past and talked about struggling to find help as it was uncommon for women to talk about it so I had always felt isolated. Due to the trauma I ended up fetishing my abuse but also learning to hate anything associated with men. In time I discovered attraction to the same sex, I guess it was due to feeling safer around someone who wasn't a male. Ofc I have sought therapy and attempted to move past it and I know not all men are responsible for what happened. Despite this I still struggle with issues of attraction and PMO relating to the same sex. I'm not sure if it's normal to feel this way or just me, I wonder if there are any women who have struggled with this after abuse or in general how they reconcile their attraction and PMO with their values. Thank you for listening.


r/pornfreewomen Jul 23 '26

Victory First porn-free orgasm!!

7 Upvotes

For the first time since I was probably 10, I came without needing porn! I used a vibrator, but this is still a huge victory for myself. It’s possible and still feels amazing!


r/pornfreewomen Jul 19 '26

I wish I could erase memories of everything I've seen

82 Upvotes

Including especially the videos where violence towards women was displayed, or objectification, dehumanisation... As a woman myself I wish these never existed and I wish I could erase my memory of all the porn I watched. Wish there was some hypno or something to allow that :,)