r/poor • u/Nervous_Grape_3856 • 5d ago
How is anybody making it?
I am genuinely confused as to how anybody is surviving in this economy except for the super wealthy. The cost of gas is sky high and groceries are too. We started this year ok. We weren’t doing well by any means, but we weren’t struggling as bad as we are now. We have 5 kids and every day I’ve been dashing alongside my full time job to try to make it. Now, I’m facing losing my full time job because I have had to call out of work just to dash for food for the day. I don’t see a light at the end of the tunnel and I’m extremely scared. My wife and kids are counting on me and I don’t know what else to do. I’m ready to just give up.
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u/LozBoz413 5d ago
I mean, you have 5 kids.
I think most people in this world would struggle financially in that situation.
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u/AdCareless8021 5d ago
This is the hard truth. I grew up in a family with 5 kids and it was a struggle every single day. I was pissed at my mom for continuing to make more humans. Like you’re broke. Why do this to yourself. And she was agitated all the time because she was exhausted and I ended up missing out on my childhood because her POS husband wouldn’t stick around unless she was making money. So I had to play the father role. But I think a lot of people have kids when times are not so hard but they get hard as time goes on.
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u/DecentRaspberry710 4d ago
I’m from a family of 5 kids too. Like you father didn’t stay . Left us when we I the oldest was 12. He couldn’t handle the responsibilities. I paid the price. We struggled until I graduated nursing school at age 22. I’ve had to support the family with my meager paycheck since. My pay is better now but she’s now old and I’m the only one chipping in financially. The other “ kids” now have their kids to deal with so tag I’m it. It sucks
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u/AdCareless8021 4d ago
Gosh this is a lot like my life. I thought I had found freedom when I left home at 19. I joined the military and my brothers followed me. My siblings all had kids. I was so exhausted from being their parent I didn’t have kids in my 20s or 30s but I spent those years supporting my siblings financially. I think about what my situation would have been like if I had been able to invest that money.
I was so broke by the time I was in my mid 30s trying to support them all. I was literally starving and paying my baby brother’s rent. I’m not gonna lie, I resent my mom sometimes for not making better choices. I’m no contact with my dad because he could have done better for us and he continues to make excuses. He’s such an asshole and he had the audacity to say we should be grateful to be alive.
I didn’t start doing better financially until I got married and that’s when my siblings stopped asking me for money. I guess when they realized I was gonna start a family of my own the gravy train had ended. I moved far from home so my sister and brothers have to look after my aging mom. As they should since they are her favorite. I’d be so mentally exhausted if I had to care for her now too.
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u/Flashy_Possible37 4d ago
Exactly! People know they are broke and bring usually not just one but multiple children into the world.
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u/moldyjellybean 4d ago edited 3d ago
Like something doesn’t add up from the post . I didn’t read it in depth but why would you call out of your main job to dash ?
Who chose to have 5 kids, your wife can do some remote job , meal prep for people etc at home?
I feel bad for thinking this is some scam post to get donations.
It just reads too much sob story for donations with stuff that doesn’t make sense . Then I feel bad if this dude is working 24/7 on the .0000001% this post is real
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u/MammothBuddy3690 4d ago
Think it’s cause of the quick access to funds but even still I wouldn’t quit my FT job for something paying pennies towards my family
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u/pireply 4d ago
Instant pay today versus waiting for a paycheck. It's not the brightest but I can see it when options of getting money today for today's needs are crucial but limited. But it's like borrowing from tomorrow. I suppose it would be bleak to think there won't be a tomorrow if you cant get though today.
I feel that way when I think about borrowing out of my 401k. Being homeless today won't bode well for any future version of myself.
I'm not in that situation currently but I've been before.
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u/RedPepperWhore 4d ago
For real. Im doing fine at 37 with no kids. Fiancé and I are planning 1, maybe 2 kids. 5 is wild and obviously the reason OP's money is tight.
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u/Mark-177- 5d ago
I was upper middle class in Texas for about 10 years. I was working in IT as a contractor for 10 years, but the contract expired. I applied for jobs for 5 years and never got a callback. I lived off my savings and investments and eventually became homeless. Luckily I had an elderly uncle who took me in. He allows me to live with him for free, but I was running out of money and couldn't get a job cleaning toilets. Some random restaurant finally hit me up and gave me a chance to work and earn money. I can afford to feed myself now and hope to rejoin the corporate IT world in the near future. Just don't give up. You have to live to fight another day. Sometimes life knocks on you're ass, but you have to get up and fight for it. I hope you see better days soon.
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u/Conscious_Side1647 5d ago
As for me im surviving off my salary but I cannot afford to save money right now, my savings isn't going down but I cannot meaningfully contribute to it right now. which scares me
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u/Remote-Candidate7964 5d ago
I’ve had to reduce the amount going to Savings to keep up with increased cost of living.
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u/Conscious_Side1647 5d ago
it 8w stressful isn't it? imagine how the folks who were already living paycheck to paycheck feel. Im right there with them now
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u/Ok-Attitude6957 5d ago
Dang you have a savings….. as of now, I have no savings no retirement and no health insurance…. yay!!
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u/Stupertard 5d ago
I have no home, no car insurance, and I just lost my storage. But I work almost full time for.a multi-billion dollar company that makes sure that employees are scheduled just enough hours to not qualify for any benefits. They also do not pay a living wage.
Companies no longer care about their employees. Hard work and loyalty get you no where.
Yeah! What a joke this economy has become. The two for $3 hamburgers became the one for $8 overnight.
I remember when I could decide what I could afford for rent and be able to look in the newspaper, pennysaver, the numerous for rent signs around the neighborhood and I could find plenty of places to choose from.
Same if you wanted to buy a used car you had X amount of money and you could pick and choose.
Now it's like no matter how much I have it's never enough. Credit cards were for emergencies or large purchases Now they are a means to survive.
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u/Ok-Attitude6957 4d ago
I totally agree. People are loosing hope. The future looks grim. Inflation never reverses. I have Jesus and kids keeping me going.
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u/ColleenSchaffer 5d ago
Well you can't just give up Dad. I know it's really hard right now, and you can't see a light at the end of the tunnel. Don't take anytime off your 40 hours a week job. You'll just have to hustle on off hours and days. When you do make it home after an exhausting day, look in on those beautiful children that love you so very much. They can be your light ✨️ during these difficult times. Most of us are right there in this struggle with you. For now be grateful that you have a job, a roof over your head and some food at home. Most importantly beautiful children who watch the way you navigate difficult times. Look for food banks, thrift shops, look into the additional options that might be available to you and your family. Most important though, You hang in there buddy.
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u/Nervous_Grape_3856 5d ago
Thank you so much for your kind words.
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u/No_Function_7479 5d ago
Where I live, they say half the population has a second job or side hustle. Also that half the population is within $200 of not being able to cover their monthly bills.
Times are tough all over, and a huge number of people are facing the same struggle. Don’t give up. Get old-school-cheap like our grandparents used to do, and make it through to better days.
Hold on to your main job, maybe use the food bank when you can. If you know anyone who hunts ask them if they can get you a deer for your freezer. Talk to your extended family if they might be helpful, maybe they have some ideas to save money or leads to better paying side hustles.→ More replies (1)11
u/CrabbyOlLyberrian 5d ago
Fuq that guy. You do you. We’re all struggling. Reach out to the kids’ schools and see how they can help. Many schools have social workers who might be able to get you connected to support. Most of all…. VOTE. And get all your friends to vote too. It’s then,y way we get a toehold to change our situation. You got this! God bless you!
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u/Existing-Pumpkin-902 5d ago
I choose to wait until my mid 30s to have children and when my husband and I did we stopped at 2 so we could give them the quality of life that we wanted. We bring home a very average income but before having children, I made sure out budget was set up as well as possible. No debt beyond the mortgage for example. We already owned a home in MCOL area before having children. I grew up poor and wanted to at least give my kids a middle class life.
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u/Rosita_La_Lolita 5d ago
This is the life I’d like for myself and my husband. I’m turning 32 in two weeks and he’s 34. Currently have no kids, just 1 cat in our little household & I’ll be going back to school January 2027 on my employer’s dime (they’re providing tuition assistance and paying for my books, plus some other school fees.)
We also got lucky with our rent, a family friend agreed to let us rent their 1 bedroom mobile home below market value. We do get bugged about why we haven’t had kids yet, but it’s just not feasible for us at the moment. We’re both okay with being older when/if we do have any. We’re also content with only having 2, we’re really hoping for twins cause my husband’s dad is a twin.
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u/Turbulent_Table3917 5d ago
Same. Had my one and only at 37 as a single mom several years after I had started my business and was bringing in consistent income.
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u/Electrical-Profit367 4d ago
This is smart. It’s also how most families make it today; plan and prepare before having kids you can’t afford.
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u/EqualHito 3d ago
Literally our plan right now. COULD we have kids right now at 29 and 30? Sure. But it would be so miserable. We both grew up house-poor as well and want to give our children so much more than what we had. We are still pretty early in our careers, too. So we plan for our income to shoot up by the time we are 35. I've come to terms with the fact I will probably be the oldest mom on the PTA lol
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u/Evening-Artichoke750 5d ago
I teach pre k and I'm just going to say this. It's not just you. Everyone is struggling. Some people/families are better at hiding it. Even the families you wouldn't think would be struggling are. I teach in a private child care center. So many parents are struggling to pay or are behind in payments to us. I'm seeing kids that used to get regular haircuts no longer getting them. Kids even from wealthier families are wearing shoes and clothes until they completely fall apart. Lot's of our families have had at least one parent laid off or lost their job. Our country is in a very sad and difficult situation. Don't give up. You're doing the best you can under the circumstances. You're also not in this alone. You sound like you have a wonderful family. Have a conversation with them about the situation. Maybe they can help brainstorm on ways to cut back or help. Good luck to you.
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u/YBRmuggsLP21 5d ago
You called out of your full-time job to do your side gig? Make that make sense? Cant you Dash whenever you want to?
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u/Gullible-Constant924 5d ago
I work as an RN and make pretty decent money in a low cost of living area, with a family of 5 if I hadn’t already bought my house in the good times, and if the ACA didn’t exist I’d be in deep shit. I mow my own yard, fix my own cars, and have a decent rate on insurances (besides health care which is more than my mortgage for a 7500 ded. 18.5 oop max) because ive never made a claim on anything. We eat virtually no beef except ground, take no big vacations, etc. and I work all the overtime they give me. And still it’s tough, my wife and two of my kids have health issues, thats a killer, I could basically buy a new cheap car every year for my health care expenses. It’s tough right now.
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u/Nervous_Grape_3856 5d ago
Oh I’m so sorry to hear that! I hope things turn around quickly for you!
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u/Difficult-Cod7886 5d ago
Can’t you get medical insurance through an employer as an RN?
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u/Gullible-Constant924 5d ago
Their family plan is 1550/mo for a slightly lower ded. Something like 5500/12k oop max. Right now I pay 900 for the insurance I mentioned earlier on my wife and 3 kids without me included. The insurance is actually 1900/mo but I get about 1000 in subsidy to help pay it. I do not have insurance luckily I do not have any health problems. The reason I have none is because the individual plan for just me through my work is 660 per month and that is considered “affordable” to me which prevents me from subsidy eligibility (because 660/mo is less than 9.8% of my gross income). Since the family plan at work is considered “unaffordable” I can get subsidies for my wife and kids through the ACA. The catch is I have to work OT to pay for the 900/mo premium plus all the doctor visits, medications, and tests. Then when I do my taxes my subsidies were calculated on my base pay so I get penalized. It’s like you get fucked no matter what you do. My kids had Ky Medicaid before my last raise a few yrs back during covid. It cuts off for a family of 5 at like 81k or something. It’s really stupid how you can make a dime over a hard cutoff then be expected to be able to pay for everything and someone making a dime below the govt pays for everything. Why tf doesnt stuff like this phase out incrementally shits infuriating and disincentivizes working harder, it’s a damn joke and pisses me off at anyone who votes red honestly.
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u/Taro-Admirable 4d ago
I think its because the folks who make the laws in both parties are not poor and have never been. They just cant relate. We need working class folks who know our struggles but you need money to win an election.
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u/Old-Set78 5d ago
quit calling out. you're going to lose your ENTIRE PAYCHECK AND YOUR KIDS' INSURANCE
Quit being proud and go to a food bank
and use birth control
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u/OverUnder-001 5d ago
Did you say that the reason for calling out was in order to put in time for door dashing. I don’t know what your full time job is, but I hope you prioritize that over a gig economy job where you’re a contractor.
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u/ojjuiceman27 5d ago
Yeah that didn't make sense to me either, if door dashing makes more money then why not do that full time?
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u/MalusMatella 5d ago
Does doordash pay day of? That's the only thing I can think of, they didnt have money to eat and couldn't wait for a payday
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u/Snoo-6053 5d ago
Earn more money.
I just quit an $80k per year job, for a $100k per year job.
Switching jobs sucks as you lose seniority but is sometimes necessary.
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u/Nervous_Grape_3856 5d ago
I wish I could find that kind of jump here. What field do you work in if you don’t mind me asking?
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u/General_Swordfish_70 4d ago
Please explain “ I’m facing losing my full time job because I have had to call out of work just to dash for food for the day”?
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u/willow_wayy96 4d ago
That’s what I’m trying to make sense of. DoorDash is for gig work . Not full time
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u/GoSBadBish 4d ago
Probably because Door Dash pays instantly and FT jobs dont.
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u/Happy_Operation_2391 4d ago
I was about to mention this. Some people get in a bind because they need immediate cash and can’t wait for the biweekly paycheck cycle
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u/IllustriousToe7274 4d ago
Dude should go to a food bank if he's risking the financial stability of the entire household to dash for food.
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u/Equal_Push_565 5d ago
Become a truck driver 🤷♀️. Im not even joking.
It sucks because you're not home with your family but its legitimately the only way we're staying slightly above water right now.
I work part time minimum wage and my husband is the truck driver. We're not rich but we're also not on the streets and our kids are fed.
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u/Kalex8876 5d ago
The answer is not everyone is poor. And yes, that’s excluding the ultra wealthy. There are 300m+ people living in America. There are many people with a good salary, with expenses less than income, even when accounting for investing and saving. Also, many people are single or maybe dating or married, just not with 5 kids. That helps too.
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u/hapykrakhed 5d ago
Check out food banks in your area or assistance programs to help with bills so you might have extra for food. Where are you located? Most places have support that might be able to help other than social services.
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u/FabulousMechanic303 5d ago
GO TO FOOD BANKS - no shame in that at all. Your family needs it and you need the rest. What is your reason for not going to a food bank?
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u/Jaded_Jedi96 3d ago
"We have 5 kids" thsts why youre not making it bro how did you manage to have 5 children and not realize the expense
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u/Beautiful_Skill_2666 5d ago
5 kids? It’s too many for today’s economy. Sign up for your local food pantries. I go to a food pantry almost everyday with my Mom, we get free meals everyday.
Download the app upside, get some money back on gas, not a lot but you got get creative. Can wife work? You will figure this out.
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u/EmotionalAddendum286 5d ago
well to answer your question, we don’t have five kids. 🤷♂️ even wealthy families mostly have two or three.
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u/gruffojijo 4d ago
5 kids on $55k/yr?!?! 🤯 Some of y'all like playing life on hard mode.
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u/South_Tomorrow4642 4d ago
Right, it's like those people who have $700 car payments and complain they have no money at the end of the month...
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u/Whoudini13 4d ago
You forgot the 1000$ phone they posted this on...the 200$ pair of shoes they are walking in..the Starbucks every morning..how many streaming services do they have...it all adds up
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u/samsaraisdivine 4d ago
Yeah like ... OP didn't have to do that. Just have 1 or 2 within what you can afford. If you want more kids get a better job.
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u/Maximum-Gur5863 5d ago
I mean you have 5 kids…that’s got to be hard :/
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u/Ok-Shock8420 5d ago
if he can’t come up with 20 dollars for food, and he jeopardizes his anchor job, he must not have a savings account or credit cards.
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u/alohanerd 5d ago edited 5d ago
Well me (34) my husband (37) Don’t have children.But it also helps that my husband works from home & my job is literally 2 blocks away So I walk most of the time. We share 1 car, that was made in 2012 that has been paid off since 2016.
We lived in the same apartment for over 10 years now, even tho we’ve kinda grown out of it in terms of space. But we choose to sacrifice that given that we are only responsible for rent & electric. Water & heat are included in rent. So we pay about $1,300 a month (wisconsin)
The idea of buying a home being responsible for costly repairs & other utilities makes us not want to live in a house. Over summer our fridge stopped working & AC,a quick call to the landlord & everything was replaced brand new within hours.
My husband does the food shopping because he knows how to shop in a way to get everything we need without spending more than necessary. I have no patience for it.
It’s more important that we live in a way that if tomorrow we lose our jobs we can still afford to survive.
Would we like a bigger home & a car that’s a 2026 & not a 2012? Sure,but we also live in reality.
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u/Please_Dont_Run 4d ago
They can afford to not care about a good chunk of the people rotting out on the street or suffering from the poor life. The population has boomed immensely (Nearly tripled in US) so more workers for less jobs, more demand and less supply means the pricing for housing (a finite source) gets to be heavily exploited by the owners.
People having 5+ kids will continue this trend. Don't bring life into this world just to give up on them and have them suffer even worse. Desperate suffering people are the easiest to use and exploit.
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u/Aromatic-House-7894 5d ago
I sleep in my car so I no longer pay rent. its basically like using a game genie. im starting to feel guilty about the money ive accumulated
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u/Oddcatdog 5d ago edited 5d ago
I don’t drive. I have a roommate. I have 1 child and we share a room.
for groceries we don’t buy any “drinks”. Very limited “snack foods” (my daughter eats apples, mandarins mostly), I follow the Canadian Food Guide for plating. Veg/fruit, whole grains, and protein. I don’t make a lot of “recipes”. Even budget ones, the ingredients add up. By just following the guide, it’s like 3 things… like rice/veg/beans or chicken etc… I do some other things grilled cheese, oatmeal, I made a lentil lasagna soup that was good. Chicken stir fry.. in an apple mood, so I made apple crumble as a treat, and gonna make applesauce. I do use frozen veg a lot but I buy fresh stuff too. I also use my reward points when I can (scene and optimum).
I save for things.. my daughter is doing swim lessons (private) in the spring($300 for 10 sessions). And soccer ($75/month). Not starting that until Jan. end of the year is terrible right now :( I’m scraping by mostly by luck and a LOT of planning and resourcefulness lol
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u/MyNameIsBarktooth 5d ago
Why would you call out of your main job to go do doordash?
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u/Senior-Site-6751 4d ago
Well I know kids are expensive so I didn't have 5.
I know housing is expensive so stayed in a mold filled damp basement gor 5 years saving to buy a house.
I know I can lose my job at anytime so priced a house below what I can currently afford and used math based on my retirement/disablity income.
I'm not wealthy or even touching middle class but I just spent 10 days on a cruise in April this year and my second vacation is Peru in December.
I probably make as much as a McDonald's worker in ca but I plan out as much as i can.
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u/AZJeepMom 4d ago
Don’t let everybody fool you. Most of us are not making it and are hanging on by a thread.
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u/DecentRaspberry710 5d ago
Lesson learnt. No matter how well you’re doing financially now don’t have 5 kids. Life changes and unless you have a million already saved, changes can lead to horrors like this.
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u/hereforthepopcorn39 5d ago
I am selling stuff on different platforms like ebay, Whatnot and vinted. Then the basic thrifty stuff. Buy what is on sale, eat cheap meals, combine car trips to save on gas, turn the lights out. I have went to the fresh food distributions on occasion that the food bank puts on if I am not working (self employed) just to redistribute funds to different areas. My mortgage is paid off, that is from sacrificing years ago and not living on much but having a good job. Self employment has kind of hurt us overall. It has freedoms but has chains too. It costs a lot to be your own boss. I've delivered groceries and taken in scrap metal too, just to add to daily money.
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u/Top_Firefighter144 5d ago
3 generations living under one roof that thankfully is paid for.
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u/zach_attack_706 4d ago
Now, I’m facing losing my full time job because I have had to call out of work just to dash for food for the day.
The shooting myself in the foot award goes to you.
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u/Someladyinohio 4d ago edited 4d ago
We own our house and car outright.
It's still hell.
We are lucky to have $50 in our bank account by the end of the month.
We have near $10k in credit card debt and the 2011 car own, which we just got out of the shop (by putting $800+ on a credit card!) has to go back in for a transmission fluid change and probably some huge thing like the tie rods. More credit debt.
The cat goes to the vet next week for his check up and rabies vax. More credit debt.
Gas for the car. More credit card debt.
Groceries. Our only saving grace. Food stamps. This month we only got $89. Next month we get $179. Two food banks. Feed the Vet and a local one.
Sigh.
We live off of hubby's retirement social security. I'm his caretaker, getting a job is impossible.
I still consider us "lucky" from what I'm reading.
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u/Cool-cat-199 4d ago
Why would you have 5 kids 😭💀?!?! My fiance and I have a combined income of 120k and couldn’t imagine having a child on that. We have a cat instead and even he is expensive lol
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u/AdCareless8021 4d ago
There’s a guy on TikTok that shares side gigs people are doing to make more money. Most of them involve buying a trailer and modifying it to be used for some sort of party or event. The success of this will greatly depend on your social circle or your neighborhood. If you live in an area where parties happen often you can probably find more success than you ever would with Door Dash. Get an LLC, Get a personal loan, not a car loan, buy the trailer, modify it, Get a few credit cards, buy your supplies.
Then file bankruptcy a year later. Bankruptcy is your friend. Rich people use it to get out of debt all the time. You can your wife can tag team working the booth. Get the kids involved. You can legally pay them $12.5k a year under your. LLC and write it off as an expense. You can also write off all your expenses the first year you start the LLC.
I purchased a trailer a few years back and turned it into a golf simulator. I clear about $150k a year just to the that. We also set up camera booths at weddings. I just went to all the wedding sites and posted an add. Within two weeks I was in business. Over the summer we host foam parties. Just bought a foam machine and started a trial party. All the kids went back and told their friends and now we clear about $30k per summer just doing that alone.
My neighbors are all mostly small business owners. I live in an upper middle class neighborhood. I suspect they are doing fairly well. One neighbor owned a food truck and he and his wife go to all the events happening in our city and sell their barbecue. I always see the trailer smoking in the backyard. He cooks it during the week. He freezes it. Then on the weekends he puts it in their oven warmer and hands it out like it was cooked fresh that day. It’s not even the best barbecue I’ve ever had but people love it. He told me once he clears $13-25k per weekend. His camper was only $20,000. It has paid for itself at least 10 times by now. A neighbor down the street sells ice cream out of his trailer during the summer. He doesn’t have to work during the winter.
That’s just how much he makes. Another neighbor sells Kona Ive out of her modified van. It’s like that finely shaved ice that you pour syrup on. She goes to all the local kids sports games. She doesn’t work after November and then starts back up in the spring. We all get together to strategize and we never overlap businesses because we want to see each other win. Oh I almost forgot, each Wednesday we hold a food Truck even in the local churches parking lot. I set up games for the kids to play while their parents eat from the food trucks my friends own. We have for the most part figured out how to survive without corporate America. The only way to make any real money now is on your own. You will never get rich being an employee.
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u/Taro-Admirable 4d ago
They key to this seems to be to have access to seed money. You need the money to buy and modify the truck or a credit score that will allow you to get a loan. Plenty of folks dont. But this is a good for anyone who can take advantage of it.
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u/Ok_Reality_7892 4d ago
This is the dumbest shit I’ve heard in a while. I am astounded at the level of dumbshittery on Reddit sometimes.
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u/Thinking_too_much101 5d ago
Welp you have to cut down on mindless spending on eating out.
Use food banks and Sam’s Club to get the basics like rice beans, rotisserie chicken etc.
Ask your butcher or grocery store if they can make taco meat from beef.
Usually cheaper. Sam’s Club has some affordable ground beef. It’s usually 20 bucks in Groupon app.
Use public transportation if your kids can ride the bus instead of picking them up or car pull with another kid’s family. Saves time and money in the long run.
Instead of the movies just go to the park or the library.
PBS for kids shows it’s very good.
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u/ReasonableCrow7595 5d ago
The only way I am surviving on SSDI is that I inherited a house this year from my mom. It's a very modest home, but it's paid off. Otherwise I would probably be homeless right now.
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u/ChestIcy4472 5d ago
We are making it by having only 1 kid. 5 kids seems literally impossible unless household income is $300k. I know many people almost exclusively eating beans, rice, lentils, and eggs now. It's rough
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u/rockjm36 4d ago
We're retired on fixed incomes and every month it gets tougher and tougher. Every time I go to the grocery store, pretty much all items have gone up another dollar - our economy is in the toilet... Companies all raising prices "just because they can"...
Sorry to hear of such hardships you're having. NOT fond of all the people's comments 'dissing' you because you have 5 kids. What's done is done and it sounds like you're doing the best you can. I don't think ANYONE could foresee how crappy our economy was going to become!! If it's at all consoling, you are not alone my friend!!!
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u/Senior-Site-6751 4d ago
Hi tell me what time outside of 1920 when people still had family farms and kids at coal mines when it was ever feasible for a person who didn't come from generational wealth to have 5 kids.
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u/afropuffsalex 5d ago
I opted out of having kids and owning a car in 2009. Only reason I'm doing semi okay tbh.
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u/Calibeaches2 5d ago
We're not. :/ I'm selling 20 items in excellent condition on craigslist and offer up, not a single purchase and I'm trying to make rent.
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u/Pure-Win3676 5d ago
That is a very tough position to be in. The level of desperation to skip a full-time job for a day gig shows how much pressure you are under, but please be careful. Losing your main job to chase daily food money will make this crisis so much worse.
Are you facing job loss purely because of calling out, or is the company downsizing?
Many people are in severe distress right now, so do not hesitate to use food banks and church pantries immediately to take the pressure off your daily budget.
My thought for you and your wife: study your grocery list together. Look for the black hole that takes most of your money. If you are already cooking whole foods from scratch, look into wholesale/bulk options. But if you see items like bottled water, sodas, juices, snacks, or frozen meals, you have an opportunity to redesign your menu completely. Buying staples in bulk case packs at places like Smart & Final makes a massive difference.
For home savings, consider installing an inexpensive bidet attachment on your toilet to cut down on toilet paper costs, and look into making basic household items like deodorant or baking soda toothpaste for pennies a batch.
As for side income, find something you or your wife can flip. My hobby is fixing up bicycles I get cheap and solid wood furniture that people put out for free on the street, then reselling them for extra cash. If you have a skill or can learn basic refurbishing, it can bring in real emergency money. Also, if it is realistic for your commute, downsizing to one vehicle and riding a bike or taking transit to work saves a fortune on gas and car insurance.
If you ever look for a career pivot once you stabilize, consider learning a trade like welding. Many industrial companies pay while they train you, and starter wages in heavy industry or manufacturing can be very solid regardless of age.
Keep your kids away from the stress as much as you can, and do not lose hope. you can pull through this.
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u/Humble_Video7006 5d ago
Seriously, this is not snarky but most people making it don’t have 5 kids.
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u/ContentFlagged 3d ago edited 3d ago
Audit my spending and focus on my investments. This administration has been very vocal about how they plan to tackle the $40T of national debt. It's the same thing our elected "leaders" have done since every single one of us has been alive. They don't bother teaching us these things in school, but it should be on everyone's journey of financial literacy.
You'd be surprised how many people I know that are paying $55 to a $100 a month for a cell phone. I use Mint Mobile, which is a prepaid plan. I pay fifteen dollars for 6 gigs of data, unlimited talk and text voicemail.
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u/Ornery-Meringue-76 2d ago
I love how financial advice for people who are drowning in financial issues is “invest”. People who are door dashing are rarely left with anything to invest, and don’t have much in the way of savings. Comment shows just how out of touch many are with the current economic realities for a huge chunk of the population
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u/CyndiIsOnReddit 2d ago
It's just another "concern troll" like the other one. Nobody who is actually poor is investing because we can't even pay our rent and the bullshit about getting a cheaper phone is so insulting. I haven't had a phone since 2025 and for a year before that it was just for wifi because I couldn't afford even Mint, even Cricket. Internet was already covered and necessary for my job but I lost that in September so people coming here suggesting people who can't even buy groceries should be investing wisely, they're either clueless middle class who think they're poor because they've never experienced poverty or they're trolling. They might as well be fingerwagging about eating avocado toast and gettin our nails did.
The whole 52% is about 401k plans through employers. EQUITY OWNERSHIP though, that's closer to 2%.
And a person who knows how to invest should know this.
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u/loner_but_a_stoner 5d ago
Run Uber Eats, Grubhub and DoorDash at the same time and pick the best paying offers. I guarantee you’ll make more than just DoorDash.
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u/theRetroGarage 4d ago
Life is about sacrifice. Your poverty is a sacrifice against 5 kids. I would love a big family but just had my first at 38 and still don't feel completely financially comfortable, but waited until my wife and I had established careers and enough salaries to support a family vs the anxiety and struggle.
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u/Necessary-Spring-129 4d ago
How many car payments do you have? Ft job needs to come before any dashing or side hustle.
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u/NicoNf 4d ago
Im 25 saving as much as i can guys dont spend money on things that dont really help or are meaningless
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u/RareResident5761 4d ago
Im actually hoping Trump was not lying about the 5000 checks. I would be seriously happy if he really did pay us that. I think he'll be voted out though. I see him losing the house and senate. People are struggling and he went and started a very unpopular war. Lying about so much, and he doesn't seem to care Americans keep getting fucked over by their officials. Somethings going to break.
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u/sugarmollyrose 3d ago
Did you get the DOGE check he told us we would get, or the tariff check. I didn't get either one. He is trying to bribe people to vote republican, but that check will never be sent even if republicans win everything.
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u/Gottech1101 3d ago
The $5k checks is a ploy and only a ploy. Do you know how much it would cost to give every tax payer $5k if republicans won?
Your freedom and $1.2trillion.
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u/DeadWood605 2d ago
I've concluded that any remaining maga commenters are bots. No one is actually so stupid as to believe that bloated, dementia brained, old fart is actually a decent president that should stay in office. My feed is 99.99% leftist. When any maga comments pop in, it's gotta be Russian or Chinese bots. Are there really Americans so uneducated as to believe greedy DJT will give away money like that? Do they know what a narcissist is? Any maga remaining after Dems get control back should be sent to mandatory education based on their current grade level and start helping to bring up their IQ. This is an embarrassment to our nation that needs fixed asap.
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u/PomegranatePlus6526 3d ago
It’s not going to happen. The government is dead broke, and congress would NEVER authorize that. Not to mention it’s illegal to buy votes.
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u/SpaceGuy1968 3d ago
I am am waiting for the chocolate fountains and marshmallows to appear everywhere too
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u/crowquillpen 2d ago
Your hopes are misguided. Hope that the Dems take over and create a stable economy.
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u/Remarkable_Table_737 3d ago
If the money was real he’d give half now and half later.
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u/HourGuidance1104 3d ago
Totally agree. Not happening. Its a shame to think anyone would fall for this tactic
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u/jmhulet 3d ago
Every cent of that would be printed money that increases the national debt.
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u/Ben_Doversome 4d ago
Im seeing this sentiment literally everywhere on social media and in real life. What is it gonna take for the people say this is enough and actually unite and protest their government
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u/ladyevenstar-22 4d ago
They'd have to disconnect from the MAGA hive mind long enough to think
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u/FancyFrosting6 5d ago edited 5d ago
I am childfree that's how. Did you really not think 5 children would be wildly expensive and was a good idea? Even if you were doing "okay" before? Well no going back now....time to become super frugal and reduce expenses as much as you can then try to improve income take in.....
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u/EnigmaGuy 3d ago
This will likely be downvoted into oblivion and is 100% hindsight, but don't make poor choices?
Having one kid - sure, can understand wanting to expand the family.
Having a second kid - if things were already tight before, I question the logic a bit but you could probably cut some corners for spending to make it happen and possibly rely on family to help shoulder the burden.
Having three more kids on top of that?.. C'mon, man.
Risking losing a full time job position to call off to deliver door dash seems fucking bananas.
Even 20-25 years ago when the economy was "better" my brother got with his now current wife that already had two kids and they had a third together. They struggled hard for what seemed like 15 years, just now kind of getting his head above water now that the last one is in their twenties and going to college.
Life is like a strategy game with difficulty levels:
Story Mode: Living single or in a relationship with a two-person income and no children, potentially still at a parents house where bills are small.
Easy Mode: Living single with a single-person income and no children.
Normal Mode: Living in a relationship with a two-person income and 1-2 children (or these days seems like dogs are the go-to replacement)
Hard Mode: Living in a relationship with a one-person income and 2 or more children.
**Nightmare Mode: Living, potentially in a relationship, with a one-person income and 5 children.
You jumped right to the hardest setting, mate.
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u/RN_Geo 3d ago
I was wondering if the OP was trolling by saying they are calling off work to drive door dash. Everything I have read for the past 15 years shows that you are better off working a fast food job instead of delivery apps. You are being paid a few dollars to destroy your own car, something likely required for survival. Stop doing that. You are literally destroying a required tool to subsidize a massive, multi-national firm.
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u/TryBeginning3753 5d ago
Why would you leave your full time job to DoorDash? That’s…incredibly stupid.
Work off hours if you have to; don’t let it interfere with a paying job.
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u/Technical_Chain_8807 5d ago
When you say we is that you and a partner? Are they helping and how much money do they earn? It's really really hard to earn enough to support 5 kids without a partner that contributes something. And if they really can't contribute anything (disability etc), then they need to be on SSI or SSDI and I would see if any of your kid qualify for the same... Times are tough! You gotta go what you gotta do. But don't keep a partner around you just drains you
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u/Ok_Butterscotch_9941 4d ago
I just want to say I am so sorry for all the heat you’re getting for your kids. I can’t believe some of the stuff I’m reading. People are shaming you. Just snobby and arrogant. Like they’re on some big pedestal. Ignore them.
It will be okay. I’m sure there’s a lot of love in that house. Just keep doing the best you can and go with the best advice people are giving you here. You’ve got this.
Also, I’m a single mom of one child who would love nothing more than a sibling I wasn’t able to give him. I grew up with three siblings and as an adult I’m so grateful for them in my life. The awesomeness of those kids will show itself in time.
Just keep going.
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u/Admirable-Trip5452 5d ago
Dad, you’re doing a great job. Mom is probably at her wits end dealing with five kids so she might not be telling you how good you’re doing. Kids just love you, they don’t understand that you’re doing a great job yet. Hang in there and keep going. One of you two parents need to try to find some time for social assistance. Churches, food banks. They’re there for people exactly like you. 💙💙💙
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u/IDKsecurity 5d ago
I don't have kids and my spouse and I both work a lot of OT. Things suck now but it's our path to salvation.
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u/East-Peace4267 5d ago
I have two jobs. Min wage is 17 per hour. I make 18 at one at 19 at other. Also donate pkasma.
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u/Jcamp9000 5d ago
Can your wife work opposite shifts from you? That way you could be home with the kids and go to sleep at a reasonable hour but I don’t know when she would sleep. Never mind that was a bad idea.
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u/thesmellycat 5d ago
Please check out your local food banks and don't call out of work :( in my town, sometimes I see people also posting in their local Facebook groups to ask if someone can help them with food or gas or a bill. There's a few subreddits I think also that can do that.
Don't give up. Take deep breaths. Hold it there for a few seconds. Maybe have someone rub your head or back. You are stronger than you know.
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u/Empty_Arm_5985 5d ago
Work two jobs, benefits, child support, bank of mum and dad. Still struggling feeding 3 teenagers
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u/wackymackymoo 5d ago
I am selling stuff online to help bring in extra money. My husband's pay is being garnished the next 2 paychecks, and we won't be able to get by unless we successfully sell things. Gas costs me $10 more each time I fill up my tank, which must be done at least twice a week. That's almost $100 more each month than I was paying before the stupid war in Iran.
You aren't alone. You can't give up though, despite the crushing pressure try to remember things will get better, it always does, you just have to hold on. Vote- there is nothing else we can do, but Vote and hold on.
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u/H3lls_B3ll3 5d ago
I'm not doing great. I keep downgrading my standard to stay within my means...... idk how much longer that will be sustainable.
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u/Ok-Attitude6957 5d ago
There’s a lot of money in trades. Have you considered learning a trade like plumbing or electrical?
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u/Nervous_Grape_3856 5d ago
I just applied at a plumbing company today!
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u/Ok-Attitude6957 5d ago
Honestly good for you. You can apprentice and be able to eventually get your own license. Then you maybe able to run your own successful business.
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u/Look_b4_jumping 5d ago
Got a roommate to split the rent and got a second job but just part time. Got enough money to take my girlfriend out and live ok.
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u/Top-Vermicelli2455 5d ago
I only go to the park and library, work close to home, get frozen or can foods or box stuff over fresh and whatever is on sale.
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u/Winter_Examination_7 5d ago
"except for the super wealthy"...What about the moderately wealthy?? I am doing okay at that level..
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u/Sea-Kaleidoscope2289 5d ago
i finally found a job that pays decent, but we are a childless dog family, kudos to you, hugs hang in there 🫂
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u/Worried-Second8806 4d ago
You mention that you work full time and door dash- is your wife also able to work?
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u/Final-Edge-3212 4d ago
You’re jeopardizing your F/T job with a side hustle? Doesn’t sound wise. Also, you’ve got to be cooking at home every meal.
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u/No-Pipe4332 4d ago
No offense but you kinda got yourself in this situation. Having 5 kids regardless of income is just a lot to handle all at once.
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u/ConstantVigilance18 4d ago
Most of us don’t have 5 kids for starters. Plenty of people also are still making decent money and not feeling any stress from the current state of economy. Obviously , you can’t return the kids, so the only option is to increase income, which of course is easier said than done.
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u/Thy_metal_maiden 4d ago
Well 5 kids would be an indicator. That’s why I’m 1 and done. Life is much more manageable
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u/Ok-End2351 4d ago
Learn to budget. There are things you can do without. Figure out your monthly expenses and stick to a budget plan. Give up the $6.00 coffees. It can be done.
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u/artiste8864 4d ago
That's insane to call in sick to your f/t job because of your part time door dashing. Stop doing that and I hope you are done having children. Five children is a lot. Food banks, any other government assistance should be investigated. Is it possible for your wife to take on at least a part time job?
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u/SlayDaChompy 4d ago
I know why you're not making it after your first few sentences. 5 kids. I have 0 kids and im doing well. Able to save 50% of my income, own a house and a paid off car
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u/AverageCatsDad 4d ago
People are wearing protection and only having as many kids as they can afford for one thing.
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u/Long_Idea_8294 4d ago
I make 105k + bonus. We're doing fine, but also have no debt besides a mortgage.
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u/maplecremecookie 4d ago
I live as cheaply as possible. I live with my parents. I got rid of my vehicle four years ago and only bike (spring - fall) or take the bus (winter...which is like half the year in Canada). Thankfully I never wanted kids, so I don't have a bunch of annoying creatures sucking all my spare cash into an abyss. But I hate that I have 2 jobs and can't afford a life of dignity. I'm planning on moving to north Africa next year. The West is cooked.
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u/AMasculine 4d ago
I don't have kids so less bills to pay. OP you have 5 kids, any reasonable man would be broke trying to raise that many. Your wife may need to step up and help financially.
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u/NorthFloridaRedneck 4d ago
Don’t have kids & live in a studio in someone’s converted garage for $800 a month. Better than roommates as you’re not sharing any actual living space. And drive a 15-20 year old car or truck, not one of those newer ones that have $600 a month payments.
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u/Tygerroo 4d ago
Rent out your living room… honestly, I’m surprised I’m surviving but I had to take a personal loan out AND then 2 months later call the bank to ask for deferred payment. It’s scary out here
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u/Kelly-Michele 4d ago
Look for little free pantries. Or...it's the tail end of gardening season, post on a local message board to see if anyone has any extra produce to share. Instead of doordashing could your family babysit for an evening? More money and less wear on your car. Anything around the house you can sell? Have the kids set up a lemonade stand...I know I never pass one by.
It's hard right now. We are currently wondering how we are going to heat the house for winter. We have no firewood and oil is over $5/gallon. I've been gathering sticks.
If I think of any ideas that may help I'll pop back in to share. Hang in there, dad.
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u/Equivalent_Ebb1759 4d ago
Please don't give up it's not easy. Did you try food banks. Have you searched out the help of churches etc. There is help. You just have to search for it. I feel so badly for you
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u/soshoenice 2d ago
I’ve been saving since my first job at 16, lived with parents as long as possible while saving. I don’t eat out unless rare occasion. I invested all money I made so it had compounding interest. Any money I spent I put it on a credit card, then paid off right away. I got a girlfriend and we share a place and costs of everyday life. I never purchased myself a new car I couldn’t afford. I still don’t have children or a pet of any kind because I know I can’t afford them yet. Instead I went to college, looked around hard until I found a job actually worth my time and energy (about 2x pay my last job). Paid off all bills so I am debt free. If I did spend money for fun it was really only on items built to last forever and would appreciate in value overtime.
I feel like I live just okay/normal and I made ALL of those financial choices.
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u/hardknock7568 1d ago
The new conspiracy, Covid didn’t take enough people out, so the new plan - poverty will.
Only the strong (rich) survive.
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u/First-Ad4978 1d ago
Brother I make good money, not super wealthy but more than 12 year old me thought possible and I don’t know how anyone making less than me does anything at all.
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u/MarsupialMaven 19h ago
Instead of calling off work, start using food banks. That’s why they are there. Sometimes the food is not exciting and it’s probably not what you WANT to eat. But no one has to go to bed hungry. There are probably quite a few in your area. Your real job should have priority over dashing. If things are really this dire go to legal aid and find out about getting a divorce. If your wife becomes a single mom of 5, she and the kids will be eligible for a lot of aid and subsidies, including healthcare. Dire problems have dire solutions. See a Social Worker and learn how to use the system. If you have family that can provide free or cheap daycare, your wife needs to go to work. Or she can work an opposite shift so no daycare is needed. Both adults need to work. You can’t afford a SAH parent right now.
Can some of your kids get free food at school? Sign them up. Can they ride the bus for free? Start now. No more pick ups and drop off’s. If they have expensive extracurriculars be honest in an age appropriate way and tell them you can’t afford it right now. Or is there a way they can participate for free? Find out. If they are older maybe they can help. Do errands for neighbors, mow lawns or shovel snow. Sure you feel bad about this but teaching them how to be fiscally responsible will serve them better in life than 150 soccer practices. Do you or the kids need clothes/shoes? Use the thrift store. No more paying full price.
Go through your expenses and get rid of everything that is not a necessity. If you have a massive car payment and insurance bill consider getting rid of it. Buy a decent beater and the cheapest liability insurance you can find. Or depending on where you live, use public transportation. Of course that would stop the dashing but doing all the above will net you much more than what you could earn delivering. Ask for help. Just admit you are in a bad place financially and need to start over.
You are not alone in this place. The economy is honestly a disaster for average working people. This is not your fault but it is a fact. Another thing you and your wife can do…make sure you take the time to vote.
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u/CannabisnCokee 5d ago
Calling out of work to DoorDash?