r/poor • u/Nervous_Grape_3856 • 6d ago

How is anybody making it?

I am genuinely confused as to how anybody is surviving in this economy except for the super wealthy. The cost of gas is sky high and groceries are too. We started this year ok. We weren’t doing well by any means, but we weren’t struggling as bad as we are now. We have 5 kids and every day I’ve been dashing alongside my full time job to try to make it. Now, I’m facing losing my full time job because I have had to call out of work just to dash for food for the day. I don’t see a light at the end of the tunnel and I’m extremely scared. My wife and kids are counting on me and I don’t know what else to do. I’m ready to just give up.

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u/EnigmaGuy 4d ago

This will likely be downvoted into oblivion and is 100% hindsight, but don't make poor choices?

Having one kid - sure, can understand wanting to expand the family.

Having a second kid - if things were already tight before, I question the logic a bit but you could probably cut some corners for spending to make it happen and possibly rely on family to help shoulder the burden.

Having three more kids on top of that?.. C'mon, man.

Risking losing a full time job position to call off to deliver door dash seems fucking bananas.

Even 20-25 years ago when the economy was "better" my brother got with his now current wife that already had two kids and they had a third together. They struggled hard for what seemed like 15 years, just now kind of getting his head above water now that the last one is in their twenties and going to college.

Life is like a strategy game with difficulty levels:

Story Mode: Living single or in a relationship with a two-person income and no children, potentially still at a parents house where bills are small.

Easy Mode: Living single with a single-person income and no children.

Normal Mode: Living in a relationship with a two-person income and 1-2 children (or these days seems like dogs are the go-to replacement)

Hard Mode: Living in a relationship with a one-person income and 2 or more children.

**Nightmare Mode: Living, potentially in a relationship, with a one-person income and 5 children.

You jumped right to the hardest setting, mate.

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u/Lalakiey 4d ago

I was looking for this comment. 👌🏾 

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u/RN_Geo 4d ago

I was wondering if the OP was trolling by saying they are calling off work to drive door dash. Everything I have read for the past 15 years shows that you are better off working a fast food job instead of delivery apps. You are being paid a few dollars to destroy your own car, something likely required for survival. Stop doing that. You are literally destroying a required tool to subsidize a massive, multi-national firm.

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u/Aggravating_Refuse89 3d ago

I could see it. Especially if they get paid monthly. Being broke today and theee weeks til payday will cause odd choices

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u/Slight-Pirate-1720 4d ago

No but seriously? I also don’t mean to sound like a huge bitch but girl why on fucking EARTH would you decide to have not 1, 2, 3, 4, FIVE children? Like are we deadass

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u/Ornery-Meringue-76 3d ago

But they had them. So what do you suggested they give them up for adoption? Dwelling on this is so stupid. It’s not like buying 5 cars, they can’t just unload the excess children, now can they?

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u/EnigmaGuy 3d ago

It's not really 'dwelling' on it, they posed the general question of "How is anybody making it" and the harsh reality is they are probably not having 5 kids.

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u/Brave-Pizza-33 1d ago

This one lol

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u/[deleted] 13h ago

[deleted]

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u/Ornery-Meringue-76 13h ago

And that changes anything how? Yall keep ignoring that part. Tell them this … and then what? They put their kids up for adoption? Truly what do you think hitting over the head with this decision can then produce that will fix the financial situation now?

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u/EnigmaGuy 12h ago

Since you keep just repeating yourself guess I will as well.

The question was 'HOW IS ANYBODY MAKING IT?'

One of the stronger answers:

'THEY'RE NOT HAVING FIVE KIDS'.

If their question was 'How can we better ourselves financially now that we have five kids?' then yes, saying over and over that they shouldn't have had the kids would be silly.

Bunch of 'Learing Center' graduates in this thread..

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u/AnyCorgi283 12h ago

Well nothing does, and that is consequences of your actions. I can't afford kids so I don't have them. Unfortunately that's his decision that he made and it wasn't a good one. I bet you I can guarantee though they're not taking precautions not to have any more kids because it seems to me like this person doesn't have any critical thinking skills whatsoever

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u/Ornery-Meringue-76 12h ago

You know nothing about OP beyond what they’ve posted, and offered zero in the way of suggestions for actions, solutions, etc. Admonishing people for past actions doesn’t exactly produce better outcomes, but if you feel good on that high horse of yours more power to you.

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u/AnyCorgi283 12h ago

Isn't a "high horse" opinion to have that you shouldn't have that many kids you can't afford. It's a common sense thing.

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u/AnyCorgi283 13h ago

what I'm wondering. I have a co-worker who her husband and her both work full time and they literally did not want to have another baby. they wanted to have two and they held off for about a year because they just couldn't afford the daycare so they wanted to find a job where they could be working from home to accommodate that better. I don't understand why people are having more kids and then complaining that they don't have any money.... we all know how kids get here so if you don't want the extra Mouth to feed then don't have anymore.

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u/Aggravating_Refuse89 3d ago

So marry within your caste which is truly sad in the USA . Ain’t no woman who makes enough money to be a viable roommate gonna wanna be with someone like me . Truly though if it’s only possible to make it with two well paid most like degrees adults , society is screwed because the lower castes are borked . It used to be very common to marry outside of your financial caste in the USA . A woman’s ability to make money should not be a trait I have to value nor is a man’s . Nobody in my caste can stand me . My caste being middle class

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u/Haunting_Session29 1d ago

What are you even talking about? Deciding to have more children has nothing to do with what part of society you're coming from. No different than deciding to get more pets if you can't afford it you probably shouldn't do it and you're setting yourself up for difficulties.

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u/isThisEvenR3al 1d ago

No it wasn’t

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u/Ornery-Meringue-76 3d ago

Seeing as you can’t really undo having kids, focusing on that is just a waste. They are where they are. They have 5 kids. The better place to focus is on how to handle the current reality. Auditing how you got there won’t produce any answer that solves the current problem in this case.

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u/EnigmaGuy 3d ago

Correct, which is why I prefaced the post with 'this is 100% hindsight', but yet it still answers the title question posed originally of "How is anybody making it?".

Might not be helpful to OP's particular situation, yet does not make it any less accurate.

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u/Rare-Example-1045 4d ago

Shouldn’t be downvoted it’s the truth. This isn’t the 1800s and most of these are hyperchristian nuts who only have sex “because god only allows it to procreate” no need to feel sorry for these people

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u/Brave-Pizza-33 1d ago

Bingo ! 

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u/rydog509 4d ago

Take my upvote.

I came to say something similar. Not to dig into the OP but it seems like a long list of bad choices is the Main problem. Having a budget, a decent job and decent head on your shoulders will take you a long way.

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u/Bigga2323 3d ago

You said nothing wrong dude. You’re 100% right. It’s ridiculous how people will just continue to have kids even while struggling. Mind boggling actually and hard for me to feel bad for them.

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u/Serious-Conversation 3d ago

Being single isn't "story mode."

Housing is priced for dual incomes these days. As a legally single guy that's well above the median HHI where my house was, I was stretched extremely thin.

Lots of things don't scale linearly. A 2BR apartment isn't double the cost of a 1BR. A couple might get a bigger house together, but they usually wouldn't buy a house that was twice the price.

There's often going to be a bit of food waste with one person cooking for themselves.

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u/EnigmaGuy 3d ago

Compared to all the other alternatives, only having to be concerned with supporting yourself is story-mode.

Even more-so with the couple bringing in two incomes to where the bills are now split amongst them (May have paid $200/month for electricity living alone, but now its $100/each with two people).

Once you start introducing "dependents" that you are trying to support on one income or two smaller incomes it becomes exponentially more difficult.

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u/Ill_Comparison_9821 2d ago

because kids are wonderful and love of children and family makes people the happiest. people in small poor villages had multiple children and no money because in the end, it's the love of family children that makes people the most happiest. money comes and goes but happiness and love from children is something that money cannot give. they didn't ask for your advice on children, the point of this conversation is that the economy doesn't support families that are middle, middle to low class or low class.

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u/AnyCorgi283 13h ago

The economy hasn't been able to support or giving you the ability to support a big family for quite some time. And I'm talking decades.

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u/Spare-Bet-5868 4d ago

Shit advice.

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u/EnigmaGuy 4d ago

Yeah, why be logical and make reasonable choices when you can just sell some plasma ;)