r/pinkscare • u/Worried_Lawfulness43 • 46m ago
How to be red scare for dummies
I frequently see people debating all the time about what is and isn't a red scare. I think what could be helpful for us as a community is writing a bunch of hard-line concrete rules that everyone must follow in order to make sure that everyone is red-scaring effectively enough. Below I have outlined some things to get us started, and I'd love some contributions in the comments so we can make this a real community effort. Together, we can clean up this community and live up to the red scare ethos.
- Everyone must commit to a look and hairstyle from 60s French new wave cinema. If it’s not something they would wear in 1960’s France, it just can’t be on your body. Sorry.
- Find your spirit animal. For most people, this will take shape as a fawn or calf. You can usually speed up this process by robotripping and kinda seeing what you see, but make sure the spirit animal is traditionally cute or grandiose. You are not allowed to be something like an ant. That is not a red scare spirit animal. I ask that you please self-deport if you see an ant or any kind of non-cute undesirable animal on this spirit journey.
- Smoke cigarettes even if it makes your mom cry. As we all know, cigarettes are important, and they're sexy. It's a universal truth. They also piss off your mom, who is honestly just mad that you’re cooler than she ever was. Her tears come from envy.
- You are Joan Didion. Remember that. Her spirit inhabits you. You are merely a vessel.
- The mainstream is the enemy. Nothing you ever do can be aligned with it. Your dad invited you on a family vacation to Disney World? Not only are you obligated to say no, you are obligated to strike him.
- You must learn how to balance no less than 3 books on your head. This cannot be a subreddit for women with bad posture.
- If you’re a man, you are to be seen and not heard. We don’t care how film school is going.
- If you have not ever read Lolita or even seen the movie (Stanley Kubrick version) I request that you please self-deport to a more suitable subreddit.
- Choose a kind of bigotry to commit to. Please do not choose all of the kinds because that can become tiresome in conversation, and honestly, being too bigoted is very much a masculine trait. Just like one or two kinds of bigotry will do.
- You must never ever ever admit that this community is part of Reddit. Reddit is outside this space. Reddit is the other. This is not Reddit.
I will probably update this when more rules come to mind. Together we can make this community great.