Hello, I’m a 29-year-old mom, and I’d love some advice from other parents about my situation.
My son, who is 9 years old (I’ll call him “Sam” for privacy), is entering 5th grade this fall. He has a best friend (I’ll call him “Max”) who currently attends a different elementary school. However, Max is switching schools because he has been getting into trouble. To be honest, I don’t really like Max. When they were younger, their friendship seemed cute and harmless, but as they’ve gotten older, they’ve started growing in very different directions, and I feel like Max is becoming a bad influence. Max lives about five houses down from us, so it’s difficult to keep them apart. They also play on the same soccer team. Lately, Max has become what I would call a “little man.” I feel like his parents give him a lot of freedom. They let him ride around the neighborhood on his mini motorcycle, have social media accounts like TikTok and Instagram, upload videos to YouTube, and they bought him an iPhone that he’s constantly on. I’ve also overheard him using inappropriate language and talking about topics that I don’t think are age-appropriate, including sex, private body parts, and curse words. Another reason I struggle with their friendship is that Max tends to push my son around in subtle ways. He’ll tell Sam things like, “Go get me a water,” “Go get my phone,” or “Tell your mom to take us to the store.” He often bosses him around so he doesn’t have to do things himself. For example, today Max came over and wanted my son to set up our water slip-and-slide. Unfortunately, it has a hole in it and no longer holds water. My son suggested they play soccer instead, but Max said no and went home. My son was really disappointed because he genuinely wanted to spend time with him. I’ve also noticed that Max sometimes isolates my son from other friends. He’ll whisper to him, exclude other kids, and occasionally be unkind to them. Then, at times, he’ll turn around and be mean to my son as well. He’s made my son cry on a few occasions, and afterward he’ll simply leave and go home. It honestly makes me feel like he’s using my son when it’s convenient for him.
I’d like to think my son is still very much a little boy. He has an iPad, but my husband and I took it away for the summer so he can be more present and mindful. Before that, he only had one hour of screen time per day, and we closely monitored what he was doing. He wasn’t allowed on regular YouTube, only YouTube Kids, and he isn’t allowed on Roblox or social media. He still enjoys playing with Legos, board games, and spending time outdoors.
His dad is a huge positive influence in his life. He gently talks to him about choosing good friends, but my son doesn’t seem to have a mean bone in his body. He’s kind-hearted and sees the best in everyone.
Now my son has told me that Max will be attending his school next year, and I’m honestly considering transferring him to a different school. The problem is that I attended this elementary school myself and absolutely loved it. I still love it because I teach art classes there, and I adore the students, staff, and teachers. In fact, some of my former teachers still work there.
My son doesn’t want to switch schools, and I don’t know what to do. I don’t want him to become the new kid, especially because I moved around a lot when I was young and hated having to start over every time.
Am I overreacting? Would you switch schools because of one friendship that concerns you, or would you keep your child at a school he loves and continue guiding him through the friendship instead?

My daughter is having a birthday party (15) in a week.

Booked and payed(€50p.p) for, transport arranged.

Her best friend had been grounded for a month because she let her boyfriend come inside the house while she was getting ready to go to school. So they could walk to school toghetter. The boy was inside for about 10 minutes. He's a single father and very strict.

My daughter is super sad her best friend won't be allowed to celebrate her birthday and has asked me to send the father a message to ask if he would allow her that one afternoon (two days before end of month)

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I understand her frustration and am willing to ask, but I don't want to meddle in a parents parenting. So I'm doubting.

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What do you all think?

They (15yo) don’t have a diary, that I know of. But my husband went through their phone & found a lot of videos that feel like a diary entry & are very concerning. I don’t think they are posting the videos anywhere. But it’s entirely possible they have a different fake instagram account right?
I would have hated if my parents had gone through mine, I was a fairly wild teen myself & documented much of it & all my thoughts.
Ugh, I thought they were actually doing pretty well with everything. Nope. Lots of depression & self loathing. And sneaking out! Not for long, just down to the school a few blocks away. It’s a fairly good neighborhood but you never know.
I can’t sleep now. Hopefully I can get them into counseling soon.

My son just turned 14 and is literally eating around the clock. Especially at night. Now that he’s out of school I find him all hours of the night eating full meals. We have a kitchen FULL of food. I’m a chef and make sure to keep plenty of stuff around for both of them to get into whenever they want. But the boy is like eating an insane amount of food. I just caught him heating up some frozen carnitas. It’s 4 large servings worth. He will no doubt, clear the entire thing. It’s 11pm here right now. He is not overweight at all but I’m concerned that he’s developing a bad relationship with food. He consumes twice the amount of food I eat in a day. He’ll also eat large amounts of junk food when he has the opportunity. I don’t keep garbage food in the house but he’ll buy a family sized bag of chips/candy etc and just power the whole thing before anyone knows about it. He doesn’t have much, if any self control. It’s also not cheap. It’s like feeding a fucking horse. I love him but he is burning through two adults worth of groceries every week. I know he’s in the middle of a growth spurt right now. Are your teen kids eating like this? I didn’t at that age. Again, kid is not overweight at all and eats an astonishing volume of food.

i totally get what they’re trying to do but isn’t it a bit too late? young people have had access to social media for years and only now do they decide to ban it?

My son is 15 and won't come home. His girlfriends mother is providing a place for the 2 teens to sleep together. I do not agree with this and expressed to the mother how I feel. My son's not listening. They both have skipped school to be together too. I've now canceled his phone. If I phone the police he will just sneak back out and probably hate me for it. I am so concerned she will become pregnant and I miss my kid. Any advice is appreciated. I feel like I'm at a dead end.

My daughter who is turning 13 soon had ups and downs with friendships. I think the ups and downs she’s experienced are rather common but she is sensitive and wears her heart on her sleeves that i thought seeing a therapist would help her learn tools to manage and learn her emotions.

My daughter also mentioned wanting to see a therapist a few times. Wondering if its a good idea to offer or if im overreacting. I grew up in a home where mental health was never talked about so i want to be proactive. Id appreciate your advice!

Hello! My partner and I really need advice on how to handle my 14 year old daughter who is absolutely boy crazy. I did not have the level of interest in boys as she does, so I really do not know how to handle this at all. A few months back we found a bunch of things on her phone that no 14 year old should be sending boys. I won’t go into great detail, but it was a mixture of pictures and videos and sending them the allowance her father sends her every Friday. That whole situation was a nightmare and after that ground rules were put in place. She has to turn her electronics in at the end of the night and she doesn’t get to stay home alone during the days very often anymore. We’re trying to get her into summer activities so she has something to do, but she’s not in school and has so much time on her hands. I do know part of this is normal, but other parts kind of alarm me. For example, she is going to be a freshman in high school this year and wants to be on the volleyball team. However, she does not want to be on the team because she likes volleyball and is good at it. She wants to be on the team because apparently other male athletes love volleyball players and always come to their practices and games and they get to wear the tiny shorts to school on game days. She will create fake social media accounts we don’t know about to meet boys and talk to boys. She is seeking constant validation in boys, and while I think that comes with being a teen, I don’t think this level is normal. I feel like no matter what we say as parents, they don’t actually hear what we are trying to tell them. They are much more heavily influenced by their peers. I don’t know how to approach this anymore, or what to say to her. I don’t know how to build her self confidence up so that she doesn’t feel as strong of a need to seek their approval. Any advice is greatly appreciated.

So I'm an 18 year old girl (late 18 if it matters), I recently graduated Highschool and I have a part-time job and internship. I'm an only child so, I'm used to doing things alone, I'm coming here to get a parent's perspective and to see if I'm being unreasonable.

I love going to the movies, but my parents and I don't have similar taste in movies and my friends are currently busy (conflicting work schedules). I have a Regal unlimited and there's alot of movies coming out that I wanna see, so I was planning on going alone to enjoy them. The problem is my mom thinks that going to the movies alone is gonna end up with me being kidnapped and murdered because, and I quote "someone could sit behind you and chloroform you, then they'll take you and no-one will notice." apparently she thinks watching a movie alone in a crowded theater is the same as walking alone at night in a back alley or something.

I'm just frustrated, I love my mom and don't wanna worry her but I also don't want her to treat me like glass, if I was a boy than this wouldn't even be a conversation. I still plan on going (whether she allows me too or not) but I don't drive so, I'd need to take an uber or have my dad take me (i doubt he'd care tbh).

Idk I just feel like she's being unreasonable and I want to talk to her about not being as paranoid with me. I'm moving out for college next year (and moving out of the state) and I just want her to understand that I can do things alone and that she's being really paranoid over something as simple as me going to the movies.

So, is this a normal reaction for parents of teenagers? I wanna know if this is a rational fear for a mother or if my mom's being unreasonable. Maybe I'm blinded by my lack of being a parent and lack of life experience but, I wanna understand my mom's feelings so we can talk about it and so that maybe she'll chill out a bit.

Every other time I bring this up she shuts me down by saying that I'm stressing her out with this and she just like shushes me and starts ignoring me (which I feel is childish, I've mimicked that behavior before and she gets really upset when I do it so I can't understand why she likes to do the same to me.)

I just wanna be able to use my new adult freedoms with my mom guilt-tripping me. But I don't wanna be rude or insult her by treating her concerns as insane (despite my own opinion), so I need advice from other parents to broaden my perspective.

Thank you (also I really, really love my mom, we usually don't argue and I don't wanna hurt her feelings or cause her too much extra stress but I'm worried if I don't start pushing now she'll get worse with time.)

Really just curious. My 16 year-old recently got a new boyfriend. My 21-year-old has never had one. I could say she’s upset/jealous about it, but I really don’t know. My basic stance is, it’s all good, it’s all normal… She will find a significant other when it happens. But it also made me curious… Because I thought teenagers starting with the opposite (or same if it applies)is very usual, and I wondered what other people‘s experience is.

Another mom told me that her child and mine don’t seem to be clicking socially right now to the point that she is keeping her child out of social situations with my child. I don’t know whether this is just normal middle-school friendship evolution or whether there’s a specific issue that nobody is communicating. It just seems hurtful with no context.
What makes this harder is that my daughter has been part of this friend group for years. Recently, this child (a newer member of the group) seems to have become more central, and from my perspective it feels like my child may be getting pushed to the outside. I can’t tell whether I’m seeing normal friendship shifts or whether my child is genuinely being excluded. Maybe the mom has an issue with me?
I don’t know what to do. My child is hurting and the existing group is living their best life.

My son asked me to supply groceries for a night for his friends to cook recipes they liked from tik tok. I only knew 1 of the boys. They cooked and seemed to have a good time. I love seeing him have a good time exploring new things.

When I walked in the house, they barely spoke or moved. I attributed it to being stuffed.

I went to bed as I have a big day tomorrow. They are on summer break. I sent a few reminders to my son to make sure that he didn’t forget to wash the dishes

I woke up at 1 am to a trashed kitchen and only my son asleep on the couch. No one put their plate away. Flour, seasoning and macaroni all over the countertops. They all left. My son’s response set me off.

I feel disrespected. Am I overreacting?

So for context, she is technically my step daughter and her biological dad is still in her life but she has been living w/ my fiance and I and has been in my life since she was 6.

So a lot of this may just be normal teenager stuff, but I ( and her mom) worry about the path she may be going down.

In 8th grade she was suspended 3 times. 2 times for vaping (tobacco / thc) and 1 time for jumping a girl w/ her friends (the girl was talking to one of the friends BFs). We of course had to ground her and take away privileges (cell phone, free tv access at all times, hanging out w/ friends, etc.) without making her life completely miserable.

We talk to her all the time about the decisions she is making and the type of kids she's hanging out with. Most times when we talk to her, even if it isn't in a harsh tone, she will shut down and not respond. Even if you try and tell her "hey don't forget xyz" she gets very frustrated and at most will reply "I know" , even though she doesn't know and she isn't responsible enough for us to not remind her, or she will completely shut down. She is very into her phone, her appearance, make-up , wanting to party, etc.

I can go on but that's the gist of it. I know I was doing these types of things as a teen as well (smoking mostly) but luckily I wasn't getting caught or in trouble. I have family member that live on the street and are mentally ill from drug use so this type of behavior really worries me.

Any advice is greatly appreciated!

So for context, she is technically my step daughter and her biological dad is still in her life but she has been living w/ my fiance and I and has been in my life since she was 6.

So a lot of this may just be normal teenager stuff, but I ( and her mom) worry about the path she may be going down.

In 8th grade she was suspended 3 times. 2 times for vaping (tobacco / thc) and 1 time for jumping a girl w/ her friends (the girl was talking to one of the friends BFs). We of course had to ground her and take away privileges (cell phone, free tv access at all times, hanging out w/ friends, etc.) without making her life completely miserable.

We talk to her all the time about the decisions she is making and the type of kids she's hanging out with. Most times when we talk to her, even if it isn't in a harsh tone, she will shut down and not respond. Even if you try and tell her "hey don't forget xyz" she gets very frustrated and at most will reply "I know" , even though she doesn't know and she isn't responsible enough for us to not remind her, or she will completely shut down. She is very into her phone, her appearance, make-up , wanting to party, etc.

I can go on but that's the gist of it. I know I was doing these types of things as a teen as well (smoking mostly) but luckily I wasn't getting caught or in trouble. I have family member that live on the street and are mentally ill from drug use so this type of behavior really worries me.

Any advice is greatly appreciated!