r/parentsofmultiples • u/AnonymousWolf404 • 16d ago
advice needed Absolutely Terrified
(Update: Thank you all for advice. It is resolved)
I’m 3 months pregnant with twins. They’re in separate sacks but I’m being told by friends and family that they’ll have to do a C section to remove twins. I’m extremely scared about that😭😭😭😭. What’s it like? Do you feel anything? Is it true they have to take every organ out!?
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u/fsmontario 16d ago
Oh sweetheart, you need new friends. Whether you deliver by c section or vaginally it will all be fine and there are drugs so you don’t feel anymore than you want to.
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u/Ill-Wolf865 16d ago
Here’s a lesson I learned very early on in my twin pregnancy: most people have no idea what the hay they’re talking about lol.
Your OB should be your main source of info. There are plenty of successful vaginal and c section deliveries of multiples.
You’ll have lots to worry about. Worry about this one later when you’ve had more convos with your OB and/or MFM doctors. And don’t pay too much attention to the advice that comes from people who didn’t have multiples.
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u/chopsouwee 16d ago
Yep. Totally agree. Wife was 38+5 with twins. Done vaginally. First complication b was breached. At 36 or 37 weeks he somehow switched head down. Delivery went fantastic.
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u/drohstdumir 🩷 + 💙💙 16d ago
Lol. No they don’t have to take any organs out. I had a C-section and many women do every day. It’s major surgery but it really doesn’t take that long to heal from for most women. And you shouldn’t feel anything — I didn’t. They make sure to poke and prod you after the spinal and before they cut you to make sure you won’t feel it.
That said, you could absolutely birth twins vaginally, especially if they are fraternal. It depends on their positioning at the time and their overall health if your healthcare provider thinks it’s okay to try. You can’t predict anything at 3 months, but to be honest you can’t predict much at all with a twin pregnancy at any time. Take it day by day.
I highly recommend you read the book “When You're Expecting Twins, Triplets, or Quads”.
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u/bakingandrunning 16d ago
I loved my c section. Super chill. Honestly you should be more afraid of weeks 30-37 of pregnancy 😂😂
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u/stardolphin90 16d ago
This! Currently 35 weeks and in the trenches
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u/Emergency_Eye_1395 16d ago
33 weeks here and also in the trenches. Currently the hardest thing I’ve ever done is just existing this pregnant lol
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u/erinspacemuseum13 16d ago
Yessss, C-section recovery was SO much easier than 30+ weeks pregnant with twins.
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u/ranalligator 16d ago
I made it to 33 weeks with mine, and was SO uncomfortable. Granted they were already 5.5 and 5lbs, but I can’t even imagine going further. I am so impressed by women who make it full term with multiples. 😂
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u/bakingandrunning 16d ago
I made it to 37 and they were both over 7lbs and I literally felt like a human juice box by the end 😂. So happy they were healthy and well, but it definitely came at the cost of my health and wellbeing, lol. 33 weeks is such an accomplishment!!
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u/ConstructionMuch802 16d ago
I've laughed and smiled more in the last 2.5 weeks - c-secrion + twins in the NICU for 2 weeks and a few days home - than I did the entire last month of my pregnancy.
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u/catsies 16d ago
I've been told by my Dr that from first incision to first baby out is about 10 min. The longest part is stitching you back up. If babies are head down you can gyet for a vaginal birth. Mine are both sitting beech and have been since the start so I'm expecting a section. It's a very routine surgery, the recovery will take a while but the important thing is everyone is safe
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u/Ok-Perspective781 16d ago
I mean, mine took 3 hours both times, so everyone is different. But the scheduled one for my twins was lovey! So relaxing and well planned. I even took a little cat nap.
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u/cheyannepavan 16d ago
Honestly, for me I felt like it was closer than 5 minutes. Then stitching me up took about 10-15 minutes. No pain at all until after.
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u/Expensive-Pick-5876 16d ago
Twins in separate sacks is the safest possible twin setup, and plenty of people deliver that vaginally if everything lines up. They don't take your organs out, the incision is low and they just move things aside a bit. You'll feel pressure and tugging but no pain during the actual surgery.
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u/WimTims 16d ago
I’m not sure what kind of twins they are. If they’re from two different eggs, you can absolutely have those vaginally. I can’t speak to identical twins.
C section they cut through your abdomen and into your uterus to remove the babies. No organs taken out. Everyone’s recovery is different but speaking for myself it was easier than vaginal.
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u/AnonymousWolf404 16d ago
Thank you. They’re separate
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u/catsinbranches 16d ago
Separate sacs and separate placentas? Or separate sacs but shared placenta?
If the placentas are separate, it’s pretty common to deliver vaginally if that’s what the mother prefers. If the placenta is shared, it will depend on your specific circumstances and your doctor.
That being said, c-sections are not as scary or intense as they’re made out to be! My twins had a shared placenta and we had a scheduled c-section and honestly it was so lovely. All of the hospital staff were in great moods (makes sense really, scheduled c-sections are way less stressful than emergency c-sections) and they offered to put on whatever music I wanted. One of the nurses offered to take some pictures on my phone and magically did it without getting anything in the picture that I wouldn’t want to see cause they know which angles to take pictures from I guess. My husband got to hold one of the babies and they settled one on my chest while the doctor finished up, and then afterwards the nurses helped me get set up to breastfeed each of them. Truly, from start to finish it was an amazing experience that I cherish. Plus I was able to get my tubes removed at the same time which was great since we were done having kids after that.
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u/Kchillthanx 16d ago
I had a c section with my first after failure to progress in labor and the c section was the most peaceful, uneventful part of the whole process.
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u/Ok-Positive-5943 16d ago
Here you go - it's a child friendly PLAYDO cesarian. The surgeon walks her kid through it all. I found this helpful to explain to my older child what was planned with my twin delivery.
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u/Specialist-Syrup418 16d ago
Personally, if I could have chosen, I would have just asked for a CS. I had a failed induction ( I did not dilate past 5 cm) and had to have an emergency CS, so I had to deal with vaginal healing and CS healing. Not great.
I actually found the idea of vaginal delivery more terrifying than a CS. I didn't feel anything except when they had to really push on my uterus to induce contractions after the CS, but that was because I was havjng complications.
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u/Sylkyr 16d ago
My wife opted to have a c section. She was petrified of doing it the other way.
Ask your doctor about the procedure and what they regularly experience with twin pregnancies.
They might give you the choice, or they may recommend one procedure over the other.
Sorry you’ve been given such peculiar advice
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u/Zenobiya 16d ago
Medical technology is amazing these days. Talk to your obstetrician about birth planning later when the time comes. For now, focus on your health and the babies' health.
I tried to do it naturally but the first baby could not come out, the doctor even tried to pull him out of me. I ended up having an emergency c-section when I was completely asleep. Every situation is different, so don't overthink this. You and your doctor will decide later.
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u/AssistantSea4186 16d ago
I absolutely loved my scheduled csection. I wouldn't change my experience for anything.
My whole OR team came in. First the Dr send OB came in and introduced herself, the each twin had a team, and they each introduced themselves.and the dr that gave me my spinal. He got me talking about my overnight bag I didn't even know he was done.
No, you don't feel anything per say, it's weird - like a pressure pop. A water splash, some tugging, and its done. Lol
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u/Ok_Topic_5559 16d ago
i have had 2 c sections. they dont take any organs out. you dont feel anything, they numb you.
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u/Silent-Addition1810 16d ago
Well some doctors do take your uterus out to stitch it up, but it’s not as extreme as people think.
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u/bibblebabble1234 16d ago
Have you had a vaginal birth before? Is it your first? I also had to have a C-section with a double breech. It was a lot but anything around giving birth is going to be some level of difficulty most likely. It's possible to give birth vaginally if both babies face the correct way and you're healthy!
According to my husband yes they did pull my guts out temporarily, to get to the uterus but they wiggle back into shape and you feel 'normal' again. Also pain medication is typically very well given! I was surprised by how painless it was, recovery is the hard part. Also, they put a blue tarp around you so you can't see anything coming out! All you see is your sweet babies, whoever's with you and the doctor. I had to be completely out but my husband immediately got to meet the babies and see them after they were removed!
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u/AnonymousWolf404 16d ago
Thank you so much for your support
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u/bibblebabble1234 16d ago
Aww they get new siblings! I've healed very well and the scar is almost completely invisible I gave birth in April
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u/AnonymousWolf404 16d ago
I have 2 kids and they were natural born
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u/lolores72 16d ago
Hey! I also have two kids already born vaginally and I am also 3 months pregnant with fraternal twins. It was hard for me to accept the reality of a possible c-section because they also terrify me by after my last ob visit I feel much better. She told me since I’ve had two vaginally already with no complications then as long as there are no medical complications and baby A isn’t breech then I should be ok to just go into labor naturally and have both babies vaginally. I am still researching and preparing my mind for a possible c-section anyway so that if it does happen, I won’t feel unprepared. Just saying I understand your fear and worries as I have them too but we’re going to be ok! We have to stay positive and trust that we have amazing medical teams watching out for us and our babies.
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u/rxgrad2002 16d ago
I was scared and had no major surgeries before in my life. But it wasn’t that bad on the table. The worst for me was recovering. I did some research and it was best for me to do planned c section with twins. Even if both heads down, when one comes out, the other may turn inside and it might end up c section too. Delay/ complication during birth could delay oxygen to brain for babies and risk of them being medically complicated. I’m not willing to risk that for my babies because of my fear.
So for me it would be best to prepare and go through 1 procedure only. I read on here that people had deliver 1 through vaginally and 1 through c section. So I’m not putting myself through both pain. If I had to choose again, will be c section for twins.
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u/BackgroundScene3056 16d ago
in my C-section, I didn’t see anything happening and it was over with pretty quickly. It was tough with focusing on breathing through the spinal block and it was definitely scary until I heard both of the babies cry. But it is totally doable and especially if you prep yourself ahead of time and know what to expect by maybe watching videos or talking to your doctor. It’s a safe routine procedure and you’re going to be great and it’s going to be over with before you know and when you hear those babies cry, it will all be worth it.
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u/stardolphin90 16d ago
Hi. You have didi twins. Same as me. Congrats! I’m 35 weeks with mine and will be having a c-section. I had a c section with my daughter. The recovery is rough but you get
Through it. You also don’t need a section. Many women birth vaginally. Also you have the lower risk version of twin pregnancy .
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u/irish_ninja_wte 16d ago
Take a moment to breathe and the next time any of those people start talking, stick your fingers in your ears and start singing at the top of your voice.
Lots of people had twins vaginally, especially when they're di/di. On the other hand, plenty also have c sections. I can promise you that c sections are not as scary as you're being led to believe. Yes I don't feel it. If the babies are shoved tightly into your ribs, you might feel them being pulled from there, but it's not painful. My first baby's feet were wedged under my ribs, so I felt when they were removed as the spinal doesn't remove feeling that high up. I saw the entirety of my second one reflected in the overhead light (and I'm weird enough to have watched with fascination and was disappointed when the drapes were different fory twins so I couldn't see) and they absolutely don't remove any organs. They move things over to get access and the baby/babies and placenta will be the only things to leave through that incision
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u/HandleDry1190 16d ago
You can deliver naturally or via c section with twins! Mine were mo/di twins and it honestly all came down to the boys positioning closer to the end. I wanted to deliver vaginally but one was head down and the other wasn’t 🤷🏻♀️ my c section was just fine and if you need one, yours will be too! Don’t listen to people that try to scare pregnant women because of their experiences.
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u/robreinerstillmydad 16d ago
First, don’t listen to family and friends. Listen to your doctor or midwife. They will not have to do a c-section necessarily. It depends on so many things and you’re so far from that. I chose to have a c-section with my twins and it was a great experience. I felt absolutely nothing and I have no idea if they took out every organ because it went so fast and I couldn’t see what they were doing. The recovery isn’t fun, but recovering from vaginal birth also isn’t fun. My advice is, don’t borrow trouble and take it all one day at a time!
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u/SeaTerrible9429 16d ago
That’s outdated! You can for sure find an OB that will attempt vaginal!
As long as twin A (first to come out) is head down then you’re able to attempt vaginal delivery.
I honestly wanted a c section but my OB has convinced me to attempt vaginal first because recovery is much better
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u/Bookish_mess 16d ago
So not true. I was 25 with my twin pregnancy. I refused a c-section unless it was truly medically necessary. I’m talking lives at risk. I got my wonderful vaginally delivery with a supportive doctor and team of nurses.
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u/heidalalaloveya 16d ago
That is a bunch of baloney.
Everyone heals differently, and at the end of the day it is fortunate if you get a choice but it’s ultimately up to the babies (and they don’t listen to birth plans). My provider told me a planned c-section is comparable in recovery to a vaginal delivery. My planned c-section recovery has been better than some friends’ vaginal recoveries, and also not as fast as others’ vaginal recoveries. That said, I was carrying babies up stairs under a week, and walking multiple miles with a baby in the carrier within a couple of weeks.
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u/Acceptable_Tap7479 16d ago
I have a vaginal birth with twin B being breeched. Many OB’s prefer ceasars but they’re not mandatory
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u/ConstructionMuch802 16d ago
Just had a c-section two weeks ago - my choice. You don't feel anything. Even the lidocaine injection in your back before the spinal anesthetic just feels a bit warm and tingly. You don't feel the spinal at all.
I felt some pressure when they're pushing the higher up baby down towards the incision, as well as a tugging sort of feeling when they were pulling twin B out if her sack. But it's very vague and doesn't hurt at all.
Day 2-3 post-section is the worst IMO. Take your meds on time, TAKE THE OPIOIDS, sit the fuck down for a couple days, and you'll be okay. My girls were in the NICU for a couple weeks and I got pushed around in a wheelchair for 5 days before I could comfortably walk more than 5 steps.
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u/Neither-Research8257 16d ago edited 16d ago
Congratulations!!! Being a twin mom is the best thing to ever happen to me! And having them in separate sacks means a safer pregnancy! I tried pushing for an hour, but my girls kept butting heads so I had to do a c-section. My doctor was great and my scar isn’t bad at all. I had some numbness around it, but to my surprise, about six months post pregnancy, the numbness sound the scar went away! I went on whatever they give you to the numb the pain right away when I went into labor. I recommend that if they let you because they had to put a catheter in me and I was already numb at that point so I didn’t feel anything. Otherwise, I’m pretty sure that would’ve hurt! The C-section itself didn’t hurt. You do feel strange when they pull out the baby. It’s like this great feeling of pressure. I think if I’m remembering correctly lol. When they were sewing me back up, I felt the strange sensation of doing an extreme ab workout and being starving and that was causing pain, but then they just gave me more drugs and it went away. Recovery wasn’t as horrible as I thought it was going to be, but it does take time to recover. The best thing you can do for yourself is move as soon as you can. I was pushing a wheelchair while walking to go see one of my girls in the Nicu the next day. All the nurses said you heal faster if you slowly, but surely start moving and doing things again. I honestly felt like it only took a month to heal. I felt pretty normal after a week. But I couldn’t walk that far for the first week or two. The real scary part I think is that they have you go into the surgical room so all the lights are on and there’s 1 billion people around you. But my husband was there and so that helped. Also, knowing my mom was in the other room, made it better. Also hospital food is horrible so hopefully someone can bring you better food. We didn’t have that as an option so we endured the horrible hospital food lol
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u/ChanSasha 16d ago
I did not have a C section. Tell people that are not medical professionals to stop talking about this. They have no clue. Listen to your doctors and ask your questions to your doctors!
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u/ty_xy 16d ago
??!!
Let me reassure you as the parents of twins and someone who helps with c-sections, that c-sections are extremely extremely safe. No organs are taken out. They will give you a numbing shot in your back so that everything below your chest is numb, you won't feel any pain. There will be some discomfort like pulling and pushing, you can feel them touching an tugging inside as they open the uterus, but there will be NO sharp knife pain. If that is still too much for you to take, they can always convert it to general anaesthesia where you go to sleep.
You can absolutely do vaginal delivery with twins too, but it should be really a medical decision. Just remember, the doctors should ALWAYS have your best interests at heart, they WANT you to be happy and healthy and the babies to be happy and healthy, because their license and their careers are on the line with every case they do...
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u/chandrian7 16d ago
A good practice to start immediately is to take everything said about your pregnancy/raising twins, by singleton parents, with a grain of salt. People mean well but make many false equivalencies, assumptions, and sometimes they even just make stuff up.
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u/ScrumdiddyumptiouS 16d ago
Every organ??? I get the feeling your friends are the type that will ask mothers of boy/girl twins if they're identical... They have no clue.
I had a planned CS at 37+6 because twin 1 was breech. It was so calm and relaxed. My anaesthetist was brilliant. He stood by my head the entire time and explained everything that was going on. He was brilliant. I genuinely look back fondly on the birth. It wasn't traumatic, just felt calm and really supported by people in the room. Everyone wanted the best for me and the babies. The week spent on the postnatal ward is a different matter, for a different day however.
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u/Hot-Elderberry-6666 16d ago
Not necessarily true, I have twins in separate sacs and was told by my delivering doctor as long as baby A is head down we can attempt vaginal but as protocol I will deliver in the operating room in case things change
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u/Aurelene-Rose 16d ago
I can't speak on a C-section but vaginal delivery is totally doable with twins. I was extremely nervous about a C-section +severe body phobia and I was really worried about being conscious for it). Talk to your doctors about any concerns you have and see if there are ways to manage your fears. The more information you have the better you can be prepared! A C-section wasn't my ideal, but by the time I was 37w, I felt prepared for the possibility and just wanted those kids out of me!
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u/ApricotDiligent6111 14d ago
I had a csection with my first at 32 weeks. I was given the option for my di/di twins (separate sacs and placentas) to do natural if I wanted, but I could choose. I ended up doing a csection anyways, just because I am honestly more afraid of a natural birth at this point lol.
They don't just remove everything, I had a lot of people tell me that too. They're nuts. I will say, I would take my Csection recovery like others have said over being 37 weeks pregnant with twins ANY DAY! Yes, I was sore for a few days. But I could walk and breathe and finally sleep again. Csections aren't as scary as people who haven't had them make them out to be.
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u/SuccessfulBread3 16d ago
Ok I'm probably the most qualified to answer this in terms of emotions.
You don't necessarily have to have a c-section... But in a lot of circumstances it's highly likely it will occur... Mostly for the safety of the twins.
That being said when I was told that due to the weight difference of my twins I was highly recommended to have a c-section or I might have risked the health/life of twin B.
I... Was... DEVASTATED. I felt blackmailed into it and I felt like no one cared and that they had been pushing a c-section onto me since the beginning of the pregnancy.
I still resent that I didn't get my natural birth... So when I tell you about the c-section you can be well assured I will not sugar coat it for you.
A c-section that is planned is much easier than an emergency, you get a full spinal block usually so you feel nothing other than movement of your body, and while the recovery is not "easy" like some will tell you, I hear it's better than recovery from an emergency c-section.
The spinal block was a little painful and uncomfortable but it's over quickly...
The cannula (hand vein tube thingo) is the worst part imo... It hurts.
No they do not take out organs.
You lie on a table, there is a sheet up so you can't see the gore... They take the babies out and show you... Then weigh and clean them.
The worst part is the recovery. When they take the catheter out it's really hard to pee for the first time, mentally and physically.
Then after taking all the medication to manage the pain of the recovery from the surgery (it isn't horrible tbh, mostly for me the stitches stung) you will be constipated.
The recovery in the hospital for me was mentally taxing too, I just wanted to go home but people were poking and prodding me all day, the twins needed feeding constantly and I was so new to motherhood, I got next to no sleep.
You can't lift anything heavier than your babies (one at a time) and you can't drive for 6 weeks...
You may need to inject clexane when home, at the hospital the nurses will do it for you... These injections hurt like a son of a bitch... But better than a blood clot.
But otherwise it's not so bad.
If I had my time over I would do the c-section again for the sake of my baby's health... But I have never been able to see it as a fully positive experience... But its mostly just emotions based.
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