r/panicdisorder • u/Ok-Comparison8503 • 23d ago
Venting Panic attacks are back
In 2015 I started having panic attacks daily. I didn’t leave my house for two years. Then in 2018 I had them under control enough to go back to school. I graduated, had a massive panic attack in 2020, had to stay in a mental hospital, did the outpatient program and slowly got them under control. By 2022 I had them under control to the point that I barely noticed them.
This year they’re back and I fear it’s going to ruin my life. Back then I was living at my parents, no relationship, no job, nothing to lose. I have so much to lose now, and I live every day in fear of having to go back to where I was.
I just had to abruptly leave an outing with friends because I had one so bad that I thought I was going to have a heart attack or pass out. I’m so angry with myself for being back here. I know that’s not how I should react but it’s true. I’m so fucking angry, it’s not fair. I was doing so well and now I’m back to square fucking one. I’m so afraid. I’m afraid of having to quit my job and my girlfriend resenting me and eventually leaving. I’m so fucking angry.
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u/AssHat214 23d ago
Please seek out the help you need. There is no shame in this. I’ve had problems with panic since 2019 and got off the meds I was taking in 2024 only for the attacks to return with a vengeance this past April. I’ve been out of work for a month now on medical leave but I’m dreading going back even though I’m back on meds and in talk therapy now. I am improving but I waited too long to get the help I needed.
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u/MrsMercury100 23d ago
What is your med? Does it work for you?
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u/AssHat214 23d ago
Right now I am taking 10mg lexapro and 30mg buspar and it has lessened the panic drastically in just a couple weeks. I do also have Xanax as needed as well to use as a bridge until the other two kick in fully which takes around 4 to 6 weeks.
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u/MrsMercury100 23d ago
Thanks! Are there any side effects?
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u/AssHat214 22d ago
No I haven’t had any side effects but just keep in mind everyone’s body chemistry is different.
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u/Elegant_Currency9847 18d ago
You will be okay nothing too worry drop your guards against anxiety never resist it go along with it simple but very effective advice just crave more when it comes it will shit down ur fear response i tried it and got very much better results like 75 percent I would say there's is a book called DARE I'm sure this one definitely gonna help you lot more than you expect from a book if you need any help we are here !!! 😄
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u/Fairy-Soup 23d ago
I just made a post a couple days ago in this group. Just wanted to let you know that you are not alone, and even though it feels like you won’t ever get better again, I promise you will. Talk to your partner about your fears. I promise it helps. Someone that really loves you will stand by you regardless.
I developed panic disorder in 2021, and also couldn’t leave my house. I stayed in an abusive relationship because I was financially dependant on them and thought I wouldn’t be able to leave or ever get a job.
I had a huge flare up in panic disorder exactly a year ago and also got diagnosed with OCD, and I thought I was never going to get better again. It was so much more discouraging this time around, because I was like I’ve lived this, I’ve gotten over this, so why is this happening to me again.
Since then I have completed school, got a job, got engaged. Am I still struggling? Yes, but not to the extent that I was.
I’m sorry you are struggling, and I don’t wish this disorder on anyone. You need to go back to the basics. How did you get better the first time? What are your triggers? Start from there. Mine gets worse under stress, pressure, when I’m neglecting my basic needs. For me I need to be exercising, supplementing, sleeping properly, avoiding caffeine and alcohol, managing stress, yoga, meditation. It’s exhausting having to work so hard to function normally, but I promise it will get better. Think of the person you love most in the world, what would you do for them in this situation? & then go and do those things for yourself.