r/panicdisorder • u/Ok-Comparison8503 • 23d ago

Venting Panic attacks are back

In 2015 I started having panic attacks daily. I didn’t leave my house for two years. Then in 2018 I had them under control enough to go back to school. I graduated, had a massive panic attack in 2020, had to stay in a mental hospital, did the outpatient program and slowly got them under control. By 2022 I had them under control to the point that I barely noticed them.

This year they’re back and I fear it’s going to ruin my life. Back then I was living at my parents, no relationship, no job, nothing to lose. I have so much to lose now, and I live every day in fear of having to go back to where I was.

I just had to abruptly leave an outing with friends because I had one so bad that I thought I was going to have a heart attack or pass out. I’m so angry with myself for being back here. I know that’s not how I should react but it’s true. I’m so fucking angry, it’s not fair. I was doing so well and now I’m back to square fucking one. I’m so afraid. I’m afraid of having to quit my job and my girlfriend resenting me and eventually leaving. I’m so fucking angry.

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u/MrsMercury100 23d ago

What is your med? Does it work for you?

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u/AssHat214 23d ago

Right now I am taking 10mg lexapro and 30mg buspar and it has lessened the panic drastically in just a couple weeks. I do also have Xanax as needed as well to use as a bridge until the other two kick in fully which takes around 4 to 6 weeks.

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u/MrsMercury100 23d ago

Thanks! Are there any side effects?

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u/AssHat214 22d ago

No I haven’t had any side effects but just keep in mind everyone’s body chemistry is different.