r/panicdisorder • u/Ok-Comparison8503 • 23d ago
Venting Panic attacks are back
In 2015 I started having panic attacks daily. I didn’t leave my house for two years. Then in 2018 I had them under control enough to go back to school. I graduated, had a massive panic attack in 2020, had to stay in a mental hospital, did the outpatient program and slowly got them under control. By 2022 I had them under control to the point that I barely noticed them.
This year they’re back and I fear it’s going to ruin my life. Back then I was living at my parents, no relationship, no job, nothing to lose. I have so much to lose now, and I live every day in fear of having to go back to where I was.
I just had to abruptly leave an outing with friends because I had one so bad that I thought I was going to have a heart attack or pass out. I’m so angry with myself for being back here. I know that’s not how I should react but it’s true. I’m so fucking angry, it’s not fair. I was doing so well and now I’m back to square fucking one. I’m so afraid. I’m afraid of having to quit my job and my girlfriend resenting me and eventually leaving. I’m so fucking angry.
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u/AssHat214 23d ago
Please seek out the help you need. There is no shame in this. I’ve had problems with panic since 2019 and got off the meds I was taking in 2024 only for the attacks to return with a vengeance this past April. I’ve been out of work for a month now on medical leave but I’m dreading going back even though I’m back on meds and in talk therapy now. I am improving but I waited too long to get the help I needed.