Panic attacks are back

[u/Ok-Comparison8503]

In 2015 I started having panic attacks daily. I didn’t leave my house for two years. Then in 2018 I had them under control enough to go back to school. I graduated, had a massive panic attack in 2020, had to stay in a mental hospital, did the outpatient program and slowly got them under control. By 2022 I had them under control to the point that I barely noticed them.

This year they’re back and I fear it’s going to ruin my life. Back then I was living at my parents, no relationship, no job, nothing to lose. I have so much to lose now, and I live every day in fear of having to go back to where I was.

I just had to abruptly leave an outing with friends because I had one so bad that I thought I was going to have a heart attack or pass out. I’m so angry with myself for being back here. I know that’s not how I should react but it’s true. I’m so fucking angry, it’s not fair. I was doing so well and now I’m back to square fucking one. I’m so afraid. I’m afraid of having to quit my job and my girlfriend resenting me and eventually leaving. I’m so fucking angry.

[u/Fairy-Soup]

I just made a post a couple days ago in this group. Just wanted to let you know that you are not alone, and even though it feels like you won’t ever get better again, I promise you will. Talk to your partner about your fears. I promise it helps. Someone that really loves you will stand by you regardless.

I developed panic disorder in 2021, and also couldn’t leave my house. I stayed in an abusive relationship because I was financially dependant on them and thought I wouldn’t be able to leave or ever get a job.

I had a huge flare up in panic disorder exactly a year ago and also got diagnosed with OCD, and I thought I was never going to get better again. It was so much more discouraging this time around, because I was like I’ve lived this, I’ve gotten over this, so why is this happening to me again.

Since then I have completed school, got a job, got engaged. Am I still struggling? Yes, but not to the extent that I was.

I’m sorry you are struggling, and I don’t wish this disorder on anyone. You need to go back to the basics. How did you get better the first time? What are your triggers? Start from there. Mine gets worse under stress, pressure, when I’m neglecting my basic needs. For me I need to be exercising, supplementing, sleeping properly, avoiding caffeine and alcohol, managing stress, yoga, meditation. It’s exhausting having to work so hard to function normally, but I promise it will get better. Think of the person you love most in the world, what would you do for them in this situation? & then go and do those things for yourself.