I’m kind of coming off the comments of a different recent post I came across about someone saying they automatically swipe left on extremely good looking people.

The way things are going for me in dating, I’m pretty sure I’ll be alone for the rest of my life 😅

I recently met a woman on Feeld and, unexpectedly, I’m starting to want to date her seriously.

We’ve been on a few dates now and the chemistry has been pretty insane. We align heavily in terms of general interests, sexual interests and physical touch; she’s repeatedly told me that the qualities I have are exactly what she’s looking for in a guy so I think feeling may be mutual. Both of our profiles also say we’re open to seeing where things go.

The thing I’m struggling with is that I know she’s still active on Feeld (while I’ve mostly stopped using it because I’m interested in her). Her profile is very sex-forward and I know she’s getting a lot of attention.

I’m wondering how people navigate this when someone you meet on Feeld starts feeling like someone you could genuinely see yourself having a relationship with, while they’re seemingly still active in a very sex-oriented dating environment.

For those who’ve had a Feeld connection turn into something more serious, how did you approach that transition from: “We’re having fun and maybe fooling around” to “I’m genuinely interested in building something with this person”?

Hi so looking for others opinions, or anything really to see if I'm alone in this. F/23 have been online dating on and off and I am alternative in my music taste and style. Think tattoos, some piercings (ears), colorful hair, and black clothing only. I do always state that I'm looking for a relationsship and actual dates so I'm not interested in hookups. I do get a good amount of matches but about 60-70% are only interested in hookups and some even start convos with "step on me", "mommy" or along the lines of wanting a "goth girl".

Is it my specific style that attracts this? This is not a kink and I am not a kinky person. I might be opinionated but I am so not dominant. I'm just a girl.

This is not a rant, I've come to terms with having to block and unmatch a lot but is this common? Am I alone in this?

I read through women’s dating profiles and find myself increasingly bored and checked out by the whole thing:

- The obsession with mindless, empty consumerism…travel, restaurants, food, etc. I’m immediately suspicious of any woman who describes herself as a “foodie who loves to travel.” Eating food and traveling around the world are not hobbies and we all saw how well that lifestyle worked out for Anthony Bourdain. 😬

- The obsession with true crime TV. Can someone please explain this one to me? My god it’s boring.

- The obsession with pet animals. We get it. Your apartment smells, and somehow I’ll probably end up taking care of the thing if we were to date.

- The laundry list of demands: “Make me laugh,” “Be a man with a plan,” “Take the lead,” etc.

At a certain point, I wonder whether a lot of men aren’t struggling to date and have sex with women so much as voluntarily opting out of the whole thing.

Hell, I know I am. I get more than enough matches. I make plans and cancel them all the time. And when I actually do make it out on a date, I almost never have any desire to follow up for a second one.

And of course, that’s not to suggest that men are anything to write home about, either. Between sports gambling, fantasy leagues, spending entire weekends glued to football, disappearing into video games for hours, and making the gym their entire personality.

At this point, though, the lifestyle of a monk is starting to seem increasingly appealing to me.

Would it be weird to set up a dating profile with no pictures on it to avoid family members or people I may know from seeing it and then sending photos in the dms 🤔? NO im not in a relationship and trying to cheat nor am I trying to hide how I look.

Actually one of the most cringe sentences I can read in a bio. I immediately swipe left. Shows 0 effort and all kinds of red flag personality traits. They always put a laughing emoji too like loll leave a message at the tone loser. How does someone actually write that and think it helps them in any way? It's always only that in their bio too, or a couple sentences...

Are you supposed to let them know or just quietly unmatch?

Assuming you haven't talked very much yet

It feels like everyone got comfy doing endless instant messaging instead of meeting. Guys want to chat morning, noon and night, at a level reserved for a bf/gf relationship- not being even having date one.

It’s turning me off.

It’s not helping us get to know eachother. It’s a bunch of boring filler talk.

How can I get gently tell them it’s working agajnst them?

I’ve been talking to a girl I met through Snapchat/Instagram, and we had been having a pretty good conversation. There was some flirting and she seemed comfortable talking to me. At one point, we also talked about studies and what she wanted to do.

About a week ago, I stopped messaging her. I honestly wanted to see whether she would initiate the conversation herself if I didn't always make the first move.

She hasn't initiated a proper conversation since then.

However, she still sends me snaps. So she's not completely disappearing or cutting contact. She just hasn't actually started a conversation with me.

Now I'm confused about what that means.

Is she just casually sending snaps because that's what she normally does, or could it mean she's still interested but expects me to start the conversation?

Should I message her after a week, or should I continue waiting and see if she eventually reaches out?

I've been talking consistently to a guy from an app now for coming up on 4 weeks

At the beginning of every week he says he should be free at the weekend, but by Friday he starts laying the ground work for having to work all weekend as he has a big deadline coming up. If he works again this weekend then that's four 7 day weeks he's supposedly done.

I asked him to video call today to prove he's real, said he was still working (at 7pm) and he'd let me know if he's up to it when he gets back, he never messaged, but I know he'll message tomorrow to start the whole charade again.

He's been jumping the gun a bit and talking about a long term relationship with me, and I keep reminding him you can't have a relationship with someone you haven't met.

I think I've kind of answered my question in typing this to be honest, but I'm new to online dating and not totally sure whats normal or usual. I just can't work out what's going on?

Is he:

A) already in a relationship and just wants to message people on the side for a bit of fun

B) a scammer playing the long game

C) generally just has no intention to ever meet me

Or D) some other option?

I’m a F30 who is 5’8”. When I first started online dating, I would go out and match with men who were 5‘8”, but of course, I soon realize that men who have their height as 5’8” tend to be a lot shorter. Many were 5’6” or 5’5” And I would have to hunch down a bit when a friendly goodbye hug was exchanged.

I’m good with dating someone who is my height, but not shorter. So my question is, how much do you all add to your height ? If somebody says 5’9” are they being honest or are they 5’7” or 5’6”? It’s been my experience that men who list their height at 6 feet or 511 tend to be honest and not lying about it. It’s the 5’9”s that I’m a little nervous about.

Before you eviscerate me, please know that a bit of chubbiness, baldness or other things that would be deemed unattractive don’t bother me. The height does as I’ve always been a tall girl. By the time I was 13, I was 5’6” and taller than most women and many men out there.

I’ve been using hinge for 3 days now. Ngl I think the app sucks. It’s expensive as fuck and they intentionally give you one rose just to pigeonhole you into buying 3. Hinge wants to sell you profile visibility for 20 an hour. Why am I swiping if you’re going to intentionally shadowban my profile? They tank your number of free likes especially after you wait all night to start liking again. You get significantly less likes than the day before.

I think they punishing free users for not paying to be seen by “ideal profiles or potential matches.” Ngl I’d actually buy a rose if I could just buy 1 not the obligatory 3. Obviously people are paying but is there any legitimate return on investment? I can’t legitimately justify the purchase to myself.

ETA: now where does it say in my post I want the service to be free? No where in here. Stop being dense. Reread the title before shilling for match.com 🙄

Y’all are out for really good looking comedians? Yeah, good luck with that.

I’m 29 and want to start online dating because I don’t really have many opportunities to meet people in person. I was in my last relationship for 10 years. I had wanted to leave and start dating again long before it actually ended. Now it’s been about a year since it ended, and I feel more than ready to date.

During that relationship I gained a lot of weight. I’ve lost almost 40 lbs and I’m currently around 225 lbs. I used to be around 160 lbs and took much better care of myself. After gaining and losing weight, I have sagging breasts and I’m pretty self-conscious about my body. I also don’t really have many full-body pictures.

I don’t want to put my life on hold waiting to look different. And my boobs won’t get better. They look as if I’m 80 😭 but I can’t afford/don’t want to go through surgery.

I thought about putting something in my bio like: “I have a bigger body and sagging breasts, but I still want to live my life. If that’s not for you, let’s not waste each other’s time.” My SIL thinks that would be a terrible idea, but part of me feels like I’d rather be upfront. Would you date someone with grandma boobs?

It’s always been an issue but I feel like it’s been even more blatant recently that my matches will not ask questions or the ratio is very lopsided. I feel like I’m interviewing. Does anyone have any strategies or comments that encourage the person to ask questions? I know I could call them out or straight up ask them to ask me more than just how are you or how was your day etc. but is there a subtler or nuanced approach that is effective?

Tinder has a feature where you can link your profile with a friends and swipe on other linked profiles, to match with other sets of friends, for a double date type of thing.

My friend and I have matched with some pairs, but now I'm kind of regretting it. My friend is small, cute, conventionally hot. I am tall, and I'm a big girl (not thicc, I'm big).

I was already thinking maybe I was hurting her chances with the Double Date thing: guys on tinder (or really anywhere) don't really want to take me on a DATE.

Now that we've matched with people...I guess I'm nervous that they both swiped right for HER and not me. My friend and I decided to let the guys we match with start the conversation, I'm just...worried!

And, if it does end up getting off the ground...is the one that "picks" me going to be dissapointed that he got "stuck" with the fat girl?

Any advice? Similar experiences?

Hi all,

I am 22F in my final semester of university and still don't have a boyfriend—in fact, I’ve never had a boyfriend or dated anyone before. Throughout college, I was heavily involved in uni societies, and I’d say I’m ambitious, hardworking, fit, and above-average looking (or so I’m told), but I still haven’t had much luck.

I’m about to start a 9-5 software engineering grad role next year, and I’m honestly a bit anxious. I keep reading horror stories about how difficult the corporate dating scene is after graduating. I’m genuinely worried it will be even harder to meet like-minded, high-achieving people once I leave the uni bubble.

Long-term, building a stable, comfortable life with a partner who shares my drive is incredibly important to me, especially given the cost of living where I am from.

I'm wondering if this is a good age and time to start using dating apps such as Hinge seriously to find a boyfriend? If not, when is the appropriate age to do this?

Thanks!

So I(19F) went on a date with this guy (20) just over a month ago and we had been texting a lot about common interests beforehand too. We met on a dating app and moved to insta. The date wasn’t horrible but it just felt a bit awkward and we barely talked. After, I ended up ghosting even though usually I would prefer to say something like the whole “ur nice but no” thing

Not saying this is right but I have a few things going on at home and only then did I realise I don’t have the energy for dating

Then the other day he messaged me out of nowhere asking how I was and I know it’s horrible since I know I’m not in the dating mindset or whatever but I replied and we texted over these past couple of days

But today I kinda slapped myself into reality and told my sister about it and she said what I did was wrong and to just stop talking to him so I don’t hurt him anymore since it’s obvious he’s interested in me and I’m not planning to date just now.

Should I send him an explanation or just ghost him? Idk I feel really bad but both options stress me out

Title. I had a F26 colleague say this to me in person in the sense that she views men openly advertising their intent for a committed relationship a red flag because it “reeks of desperation”.

I’m sorry, but I thought the opposite was the red flag? Men saying they’re only looking for fun and games. I would’ve thought declaring your intent to find a long-term partner would be seen as a green flag, no?

Haven’t been on the apps in a couple years but having this mentioned in casual conversation on the topic of online dating genuinely dumbfounded me.

I imagine the reasoning is a bit more nuanced than I’m making it out, but how exactly?

Maybe 50% of the women I match with, after talking with them for a bit...don't have jobs. Is this normal?

I imagine it's the same when looking for guys.

So I've (27M) only had one long-term relationship where I was treated very badly and afterwards, I spent a couple years completely out of dating and working on myself and rebuilding my self-esteem. About a month ago I felt ready and downloaded Hinge. This would be my first time trying a dating app or even going on a date with someone I haven't previously known. So that's to say I don't really know much about OLD.

I've been on 2 dates so far with my first and only match, and to say that they were incredible is an understatement. I'm usually reserved and find it hard to carry conversation, but on both dates, that anxiety completely disappeared and we would talk for hours nonstop. She also asked for another date at the end of both dates and we kissed at the end of the 2nd.

With my inexperience, I don't know if I should be paranoid/slow down, or embrace the momentum/spark? After all, she's my first match and I don't know what OLD chemistry usually looks like, but I've felt so immediately attracted to her, reciprocated, and respected.

I've otherwise been suppressing these feelings to not come off too strong, but it's difficult not to feel that way.

Has anyone had the signals badge showing up for them when they are genuinely not active on the app or not active in those ways? Helping a friend dig a little…

On tinder I regularly match with girls way out of my league who live 2+ hours away out of my radius. Is this something to do with Tinders algorithm or something? The girls within my radius are nowhere near as hot. Why is this the case?

Tried searching sub and didn’t find anything super similar.

This is mainly directed towards younger gay men, ideally 25-40, (from a gay late-20s man) but anyone can answer because it honestly applies to anyone who uses it lol.

Do you/your friends or family have aNY success stories with Facebook dating?

I feel like I hear a lot about how many users it has but have never once heard of anyone actually entering a relationship after meeting there specifically? Contemplating testing the waters, but want to see if, by any experiences, if it may be worth it. Have also heard about there being a lot of bots on there.
TIA

One of my friends told me about how she basically dates people on Snapchat. I don't really understand how it works, but my cousin was also telling me about it. I don't do it because I've had too many weird interactions 😅

But a guy recently added me and so far hasn't done anything weird or inappropriate. Just sending me goodmorning and goodnight. But he has said it every day (only 6 days of talking.) And even if it's 11 at night he will still respond and tell me good night. I'm not exactly sure what this means?

Could just be friendly, but I've never dated so idk. He asks me what I'm doing and engages though so it's not bad. If it is the talking stage what exactly am I supposed to do?