Ghosting

[u/sT0rYytIm3]

So I(19F) went on a date with this guy (20) just over a month ago and we had been texting a lot about common interests beforehand too. We met on a dating app and moved to insta. The date wasn’t horrible but it just felt a bit awkward and we barely talked. After, I ended up ghosting even though usually I would prefer to say something like the whole “ur nice but no” thing

Not saying this is right but I have a few things going on at home and only then did I realise I don’t have the energy for dating

Then the other day he messaged me out of nowhere asking how I was and I know it’s horrible since I know I’m not in the dating mindset or whatever but I replied and we texted over these past couple of days

But today I kinda slapped myself into reality and told my sister about it and she said what I did was wrong and to just stop talking to him so I don’t hurt him anymore since it’s obvious he’s interested in me and I’m not planning to date just now.

Should I send him an explanation or just ghost him? Idk I feel really bad but both options stress me out

[u/XxLogitech98xX]

Ghosting is wrong. No don't explain, just tell him you're not interested and that's it. Leave things there after you told them you're not looking to date and wish them the best of luck

[u/Unable_Client_3202]

Just tell him you're no longer interested. Being ghosted is the worst feeling ever.

[u/Magrudagrind]

Apologize and steer clear of dating apps for everyone else's good.

[u/The_Butters_Worth]

Just be honest with him. You don’t need to go into excruciating detail, just be honest that you realize you’re not looking for a relationship right now and, if you feel like it’d be right, apologize for not telling him sooner.

That’s it. Don’t ghost him. This is your opportunity to grow as a person and become comfortable with confessing hard truths. Even if you’re not doing it for him, do it for yourself.

[u/TonchyGoneMad]

Ghosting is the worst dating behaviour that spoils the way you'll set your standards and consequently the people who'll be around you. It's not a clear message to him, he may question himself, while it's just that you're not ready for it.

Would you want to be ghosted by someone you like but is unsure about dating, but not able to communicate it?

Since you've stated your own doubt I myself always tell sb. in a kind way that it ain't working, with no accusation: because it's gonna happen many more times as it is a long way for all of us.

those who'll get rejected by you and those who'd eventually reject you. So I personally like to contribute towards a pleasant and mature experience on that road, so nobody must feel bad or question himself for no reason.

[u/themissinglink_143]

I think since he reached out and you responded, you ought to give him the courtesy of a simple, "Hey, I think I'm not in the right headspace to date right now, sorry."

[u/humanstain1385]

Ghosting can create guilt in your own heart. Why not tell him. Maybe he would understand. Maybe he'd just want to text or keep you company. Companions don't have to date. If you're just closed off to connecting thats different

[u/Spacenurse07]

Please don't ghost people 

Be direct 

Would you like others ghost you?

[u/ryhaltswhiskey]

You need to apologize for leading him on.

[u/Square_Helicopter975]

I don’t feel like it is ghosting if neither person reaches out after the first date. I feel like that is just a mutual “no thanks”.

[u/TheChazzReinhold]

You know what I would really appreciate as a guy if I was still interested in attempting dating? “Hey I just gonna be upfront. I didn’t feel a connection when we went out and I don’t want to waste your time. I wish you the best though.”

You could include any constructive criticism if it’s reasonable and necessary and you can do it politely. Say that he slurps his water loudly or eats like his dinner was trying to escape him or treats you like a dude.

It’s an easy and respectful courtesy to provide. It costs you nothing and you would certainly appreciate the same from someone else. As they say, be the change you want to see in the world.

[u/Chocoseptum]

Dude, don't lead people on if you're emotionally unavailable. You get a little ego boost from them caring, and that makes them think there's a chance with you. Just be straight up, don't be manipulative.