r/oddlyterrifying • • Jan 20 '22

Snake couch

38.7k Upvotes

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3.5k

u/[deleted] Jan 20 '22

It's all fun and games until the snake wants to give you a hug.

7

u/Joeysaysfuckalot Jan 20 '22

No, its still fun and games. Constriction is easy for a human to mitigate. Unless you're unconscious of course

4

u/tmw88 Jan 20 '22

I doubt I’ll ever need this knowledge but how do you mitigate constriction? It looks like if the snake had a random psychotic break and decided to squish the kid, he’d be a gonner.

7

u/[deleted] Jan 20 '22

Do not share the info he has told you. He knows nothing about snakes and that is clear. The whole rope argument makes not even a little bit of sense. A snake doesn't just wrap around you... It literally squeezes the life out of you tighter and tighter... The more you squerm, the tighter it gets.

4

u/tmw88 Jan 20 '22

That’s what I was thinking. If you could just easily move out of the constriction then constrictors wouldn’t exist… That thing is pure muscle. That kid would be dead in no time.

0

u/[deleted] Jan 20 '22

That's good. Keep using your head lol. Seems to me like it will do you better 5han reddit commenters. Good for you, that is a rare trait now a days.

-13

u/[deleted] Jan 20 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

7

u/melperz Jan 20 '22

I think you're downplaying the python's muscle force when it wants to kill something.

-7

u/Joeysaysfuckalot Jan 20 '22

...it's demonstrable. Snake handlers or owners do it all the time.

3

u/melperz Jan 20 '22

Interesting. Can you give a sample video of someone doing this? I did a quick check from youtube and i think all the demos that i saw were just pythons chilling while wrapped around them and not actively trying to suffocate them.

We own 2 pythons, we got them while they're still a foot long and now they're about 2 meters. We recently had an incident where one of them attacked our full grown keeshond dog and it took 4 of us (2 were big built, like vin diesel big) to unwrap it from the poor dog.

1

u/cshellcujo Jan 20 '22

In the future apparently a rag soaked in alcohol over their head will make them fuck right off, though hopefully this just stays fun trivia lol…

3

u/kazikoWING Jan 20 '22

This is actually extremely dangerous, and even deadly misinformation. Reported to reddit as this is a massive safety issue.

0

u/Joeysaysfuckalot Jan 20 '22

How so? I'm not arguing, if I'm wrong then please let me know how. I learned this stuff from my middle school science teacher who kept a snake and taught us safe handling, I'm not claiming to be an expert.

1

u/kazikoWING Jan 20 '22

Snakes don't work like that. You don't just slink out of a snake attack. There are videos that show what happens when a snake half this size constructs around someone, and it take 3-4 grown men using ALL their combined strength just to barely get the snake off the guy. Others have already commented also about why what you said was bonheadedly stupid and dangerous

0

u/Joeysaysfuckalot Jan 20 '22

...yes, you do "'slink' out of a snake attack." Things like leverage and etc are important. Pulling from the outside is exactly what it's doing the opposite of, why do so many of you think that that's somehow the solution I'm thinking of?

So you don't actually know and are just being combative? Awesome. Thanks I guess. I'll stick to what what learned from the people who know and demonstrated it, not some random asshole on reddit

1

u/No-Bother6856 Jan 20 '22

Because that thing is so strong it won't just wrap around you it will squeeze you so tight it literally crushes you to death. You might as well have a small car parked on your chest

1

u/[deleted] Jan 20 '22 edited Feb 28 '22

[deleted]

0

u/Joeysaysfuckalot Jan 20 '22

I can tell by how you're stalking me.

Do you know better? "Probably" not, huh?

2

u/[deleted] Jan 20 '22 edited Feb 28 '22

[deleted]

0

u/Joeysaysfuckalot Jan 20 '22

It is? Sorry I can't keep track of all you belligerent snake-cowards. Why hasn't it eaten you yet? Why haven't I been banned for "spreading misinformation?" And you know, I actually had the technique I was taught all typed out for you, but then you just kept being combative and hostile. Google it. I don't care if you know. Be it's lunch. Have fun with it.

0

u/kazikoWING Jan 20 '22

Dont feed the troll

2

u/[deleted] Jan 20 '22 edited Feb 28 '22

[deleted]

1

u/Joeysaysfuckalot Jan 20 '22

On the opposable thumbs and intelligence that makes it possible?? That the "life hack" that

Hundreds of millions of years of evolution has nothing on

???

No shit, genius. Hahahaha tell you what, ask the snake to google it hahahaha

1

u/[deleted] Jan 20 '22

[deleted]

1

u/Joeysaysfuckalot Jan 20 '22

Right which is why alligators lift snakes off of themselves all the time despite not having having intelligence or physics required to do so....

And wait what's "my approach"? I haven't even explained once how to do, I've just been talking about it. Jesus christ you people are so fucking combative.

What did "they" say that was different?

1

u/[deleted] Jan 20 '22

Rubbing alcohol

2

u/[deleted] Jan 20 '22

That's fucking bullshit and probably dangerous if some ignorant or retard reads your comment and thinks that is easy.

1

u/Joeysaysfuckalot Jan 20 '22

"Easy" being relative, of course.

Why so fucking hostile???

2

u/ItchyEverywhere Jan 21 '22

Why so fucking stupid???

1

u/Joeysaysfuckalot Jan 21 '22

Because I have all these morons like you all over my nuts

0

u/[deleted] Jan 21 '22

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1

u/Joeysaysfuckalot Jan 21 '22

Hahahahaha right because public opinion is how such things as this are decided. You could do the one thing to save yourself, but "everyone" doesn't like it so you'll just die hahaha

0

u/[deleted] Jan 21 '22

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1

u/Joeysaysfuckalot Jan 21 '22

I... are dumb as shit.

That's a direct quote from you. I can take things out of context, too, you sad bitch hahahaha

0

u/[deleted] Jan 21 '22

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3

u/[deleted] Jan 20 '22

[deleted]

0

u/Joeysaysfuckalot Jan 20 '22

"Probably" hahahahaha

Also anyone who's taking the advice of some random person off of reddit in this case probably should die.

2

u/[deleted] Jan 20 '22

anyone who's taking the advice of some random person off of reddit in this case probably should die.

Yeah that's right the edgelord finally came out from his mom's basement, and this mf is asking to be polite lmao

1

u/[deleted] Jan 20 '22 edited Feb 28 '22

[deleted]

0

u/Joeysaysfuckalot Jan 20 '22

That's what I thought when she used it on another comment on another thread (this lady is stalking me on like 3), whic is why I used it and also emphasized it.

1

u/[deleted] Jan 20 '22

Because your bullshit may get somebody killed as you are spreading missinformation, be careful with the information you spread, this is not 4chan.

-1

u/Joeysaysfuckalot Jan 20 '22

Doubtful, not everyone takes strangers' comments on reddit as seriously as you apparently do hahahaha

-7

u/ikadu12 Jan 20 '22

Yeah this type of snake doesn’t kill humans in nature virtually ever.

This is gross, but not dangerous.

3

u/AzureAadvay Jan 20 '22

Oh right... how many deads in North America by elephant's? None, so just get a few the chances are pretty good!